Shielding the sun from my eyes, I strutted my best strut out the front door of the castle with a flock of seven ponies in tow. Flock… No, that’s not right. What’s the word for a group of ponies again? A herd? A team? A harem? Hold on, let me look this up.
Okay, apparently the term is “string”. Not something I would’ve guessed. Well, as I strolled through town with my… string of ponies, garnering a variety of bewildered looks from the townsfolk, I stopped myself to a halt.
“Hold on a second. I just realized something,” I said, staring blankly ahead.
“Huh?” Twilight stepped up beside me. “What is it?”
“I am, like, really hungry. I need food. Food that I can eat.”
“Didn’t you eat breakfast?” asked Lyra.
“Nope,” I said, clutching my stomach. “Didn’t have the time to, on account of you literally dragging me from my room.”
“Well, I guess we can find someplace around here to eat,” said Twilight, craning her neck to look around. “Didn’t you say you don’t have any money, though?”
“Well,” I said, trying to look unconvincingly cute, “I just sorta figured one of you guys would pay for it. I mean, I’m only saving the world and stuff.”
“But you’re not saving the world,” said Rainbow, flying in front of me. “Just Ponyville! And you’re the one who caused this whole thing in the first place!”
“Yeah, but, like, it’s Ponyville! Your guys’ hometown! Isn’t that worth at least a couple… uh, bits, or whatever currency you guys use?” I asked innocently, crossing my arms.
“Don’t worry about it, guys,” said Lyra. “I brought my saddlebag with me. It’s got some bits in it. Just try not to get anything too expensive, George.”
“Oh, alright, mom,” I said, starting to walk off again, looking for some place to get a little snack for myself.
The walk through town was surprisingly lively. There were many shops and restaurants along the road, and even a bunch of little food carts set up along the sidewalk. The air smelled like some kind of odd mixture between flowers and grass. I really wouldn’t mind living here, honestly.
“Hot damn, so many choices, so little money,” I said, taking in the sights of the city. “Alright, what do you guys recommend? Have you ever eaten at any of these places?”
“Ooh,” said Pinkie, bouncing in front of me. “Donut Joe’s donuts are amazing! And cheap, too!”
“That’s hardly a lunch, Pinkie,” said Rarity. “Restaurant Row is filled with many splendid places to eat, George. Many of these restaurants are truly top-notch establishments. Some of them have even been given a three-hoof rating from Zesty Gourmand herself!”
“Yeah, we get it, you’re caught up on the show,” said Lyra, rifling through her saddlebag.
“Wait, what show?” I asked, with a total and complete lack of knowledge as to what she meant.
“Zesty Gourmand’s show. What did you think I meant?” asked Lyra. “Anyway, there’s no way I can afford any of these places, George. Can’t you get something from one of these food carts?”
“But all these guys serve are vegetables! If I’m gonna be spending someone else’s money, it’s gonna be on something I actually want to eat.”
“Well, then hurry up and find something!”
“Alright, alright, fine.”
We did a little more walking down the streets, and eventually I walked out of Restaurant Row taking the final bites out of of a caramel apple.
“Well, that sure hit the spot,” I said, licking the caramel off my lips and tossing the apple ten feet away into a trash can. “Woo! Three points! Alright, so, what else do we have lined up?”
“I dunno,” said Rainbow, “You’re the one who wanted to explore the city. I’ve already seen this stuff, so it’s kinda boring for me.”
“Well, we could check out the Canterlot Library!” suggested Twilight, putting on a large grin.
I faked a gag. “Come on, Twilight. We’re here to have fun.”
Twilight just looked down and dragged her hoof through the dirt. “Learning is fun…”
“Well, we could go watch a movie,” Applejack suggested. “If I’m rememberin’ right, there’s a theater right down the street.”
I snapped my fingers with pure enthusiasm. “See, now there’s an idea! A round of applause for Applejack, everybody. Let’s do that.”
The eight of us eventually made it down the street and into… “Hoofkins Theater”. I just… yeah. I let Lyra go up to the ticket pony, given that she’s got the money, but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna have a say in what movie we see.
“I greatly appreciate your choice to pay for our tickets, Lyra,” said Rarity.
“It’s not a problem,” said Lyra, walking up to the counter. “I guess I’m just the one who pays for everything now. Let’s just hope there’s a matinee or something.”
"Hello," said the ticket pony. "What movie will you all be seeing today? Er, actually, I shouldn't be asking that, because we're only showing one movie right now."
"Wait, what? What is it?" asked Lyra.
"Horseman: The Saddled Service. It's a spy movie. I hear it's good!"
"That's really the only thing you have?" asked Twilight, perplexed. "Why just the one movie?"
"Well, all of our other screens are closed due to... popcorn related incidents," she said, looking off to the side.
"Well, if we don't have much of a choice, we might as well go with it," said Rarity, who didn't seem particularly enthralled by the notion of watching a spy movie. I was admittedly a little skeptical myself. What the hell is a "horseman"?
“Alright,” said the ticket pony, “That’s seven ponies, and one… human?” She suddenly seemed very perplexed by my presence, as you’d probably figure by now. I just silently waved at her.
“That’s right,” said Lyra. “That’s not a problem, is it?”
“Well,” said the pony, “It’s just that… I mean, I don’t really know how our pricing works with humans. This chart only has age ranges for ponies on it… Arrgh, I’m sorry, I’m new to this job!” She hid her face under her hooves in shame.
“Can’t you just put me down as a pony?” I asked. “Take away the body, and we’re all just timid souls on the solemnly pathway of life… or however that saying goes.”
“I- What?” said Lyra, snapping her gaze towards me. “What saying? Who says that?”
Ignoring her, I walked up to the desk and leaned on it. “Look, I’m gonna level with you,” I said, my gaze burrowing deeply into the ticket pony’s confused eyes. “I’ve been through a hell of a lot these past few days, and tomorrow I have to help stop an entire town from being destroyed - And it will all be my fault if that doesn’t happen. I just need a good hour or two to relax, you get me? I’m sure it won’t be that big a deal if you let me buy a ticket.”
“Well,” the pony said, looking unsure of herself, “Normally I’d just ask my supervisor what to do, but he’s in the hospital right now due to… popcorn-related injuries. I guess I can just give you whatever pony ticket your age is closest to. You’re, like, a little kid, right?”
I stared at her blankly for a few seconds before trying to correct her, but Lyra quickly interjected. “Do kids get in cheaper?”
“Yeah, it’s half price.”
“Then yeah, he’s a little kid.”
~ Two hours later ~
“Holy crap, that was a good movie,” I said, stretching my arms as we all filed out of the theater.
“Yeah, it was pretty good,” said Lyra. “I was surprised. I didn’t expect the movie to be like... that.”
“It was too violent for my tastes,” said Rarity. “I couldn’t even count how many ponies died throughout that whole film.”
“I thought it was fun!” said Pinkie.
“Yeah, but the action was so cool!” Rainbow interejcted. “They’ve gotta make another one! I bet it would be even better than the first!”
Fluttershy didn't say anything, but she looked a bit... traumatized, or something like that.
“And the best part is, we’re not getting paid to say any of this!” I said. “We are totally, one hundred percent unbiased viewers, and our opinions have not been affected in any way by any outside source. It’s totally our own takes on the movie. One hundred percent.”
“I wasn’t really a fan of how they portrayed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, though,” said Twilight. “Especially when their heads- Wait, where is everyone?”
We all looked around. She was right, where is everyone? It was only starting to get dark, yet the streets were completely empty. It was like the entire town had just disappeared while we were in the theater.
“Uh, that’s a good question,” I said, looking at the castle. “I get the feeling something’s going on. We should probably head back to the castle.”
We ran back towards the castle, looking around yet still not seeing a single pony anywhere. All the shops closed, all the houses’ lights off… What's going on?
We had almost made it to the castle when a royal guard abruptly swooped down in front of us. “Hey! You all, get inside! Princess Celestia has issued a- Oh, wait, it’s you!”
“Oh, hey, Hoofington,” I said as he flew down to the ground beside us. “Care to, uh, give us some insight on exactly what the hell is happening?”
“We’ve been looking all over for you!” he said, wiping his forehead. “It’s the tank! It’s coming in way ahead of schedule! They’re estimating that it’s gonna reach Ponyville sometime within the next half hour!”
“I- D- You- WHAT?!” I exclaimed as everyone else gasped in horror. “A half hour?! How is that even possible?!”
“Evidently, you installed rockets in that thing. Our eyes in the sky reported that your tank started shooting flames out of the back and going many times its regular speed for several hours. Apparently, it also ‘looked really cool’. I’m gonna have to talk to the guy who said that.”
“Oh no,” said Twilight. “We’ve been in that movie theater this whole time! Where are the Princesses?!”
“They were looking for you, but they ended up going to Ponyville to help build the shield. They entrusted us to find you all instead. Looks like I did my job pretty well, huh?”
“I mean… finding us a little sooner would’ve been nice, but sure,” I said. “The more pressing matter is, how in the hell are we going to get to Ponyville within the next half hour?! I know a couple of these guys can fly, but what about the rest of us?”
“The Princesses thought of that, don’t worry. We’ve prepared some sky chariots that should be able to get you all to Ponyville in roughly fifteen minutes.”
“Alright,” said Twilight, “Rainbow and Fluttershy, I can fly ahead with you two. I need to get to Ponyville as soon as possible so I can help with the shield. We’ll meet the rest of you there,” she said, and the three of them flew off.
“Alright,” I said, overlooking the four ponies with me. “That’s Lyra, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity. Now, I’ve got just one question for you all…”
“...Are you all ready to save the goddamn world?”
Lyra hit her face with her hoof. “George, we’ve told you several times, it’s not the world. It’s just Ponyville.”
“WHATEVER!” I shouted, seemingly startling the four. “Let’s just get down there!"
Hoofington led the four of us to our chariots, both of them being pulled by two pegasi. Applejack sat with Pinkie Pie and Rarity, while I shared a chariot with Lyra. Hoofington gave some kind of signal that apparently meant “go”, and the chariots lifted into the air as we started towards Ponyville.
“Alright, it should be smooth sailing for the next 15 minutes or so,” I said, looking over the edge and getting a bit nauseous. “As long as the tank doesn’t go all supersonic on us again, we should be fine.”
“George, there’s something I want you to know,” said Lyra.
I turned to her. “What is it?”
“If that tank destroys Ponyville, I’m gonna kill you. And then I’ll start living in your house since mine will have been blown up.”
“...Glad to know it, Lyra.”
The rest of the ride was surprisingly uneventful, so I’ll save you the trouble of reading it while also saving myself the trouble of writing about it. Two birds, one stone. After a while of me getting steadily more anxious, we finally landed outside Ponyville, with, strangely, nobody in sight. As I expected, there was a giant trench dug around Ponyville, and Ponyville itself was covered with some sort of magic shield. As I got out of my chariot, Luna seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
“Thank goodness you’re all here,” she said. “The tank has almost arrived.”
I looked off into the distance and, sure enough, I saw the RYAN, slowly making its way over towards us and Ponyville.
“Quickly, everyone, come stand near us,” said Luna. She led us toward an area of grass. As I stepped closer, I noticed the air seemingly ripple around me a bit, and all of a sudden Celestia, Tetesac, and the other ponies were in front of me.
“Oh, you’ve made it just in time,” said Tetesac. “I was wondering what had been keeping you. I should have figured you’d be watching a movie.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think the damn thing would arrive today!” I exclaimed. “Also, what’s this whole thing we’re in? Where’d you all even come from?”
“This is a shield I’ve placed around us,” said Luna. “It makes us unable to be seen from the outside, and should also protect us against any potential attack from the tank.”
“...Well, alright then. So, are we still going with the idea of ‘Trap tank in trench, bury tank, let tank blow itself up’?” I asked, anxiously looking at the RYAN from afar.
“It’s probably our safest option,” said Twilight. “We have a team of unicorns ready to bury the tank the moment it falls in. I hope it’s enough.”
The RYAN was even closer now. “So, we’re just waiting, then?”
“Pretty much all we can do,” said Rainbow. “It’s boring, I know.”
“I’ll personally take boredom over Ponyville being destroyed,” said Rarity.
“What, like I wouldn’t?!” said Rainbow accusingly. “I care about Ponyville too! Even if I don’t live there!”
“Wait, you don’t live in Ponyville?” I asked, surprised. “Where do you live, then?”
“Cloudsdale, of course.”
“Clouds...dale? Don’t tell me that’s, like, a city in the clouds.”
“That’s exactly what it is.”
“But how would you, like, walk on clouds? Aren’t they, like, water vapor and stuff?”
“Well, only Pegasi can walk on clouds.”
“...Why?”
“I dunno. That’s just how it is.”
“Yeah, well, ‘how it is’ is weird and makes no sense.”
This continued between me and rainbow for a while until I suddenly realized that the RYAN was now passing where we were. It was close enough that I could easily read the badly-painted-on name on the side.
“Everyone quiet,” Twilight whispered. “We don’t want it to hear us.”
“What does RYAN even mean anyway?” Rainbow whispered to me.
“I don’t know. Maybe like, Really… Yummy… And… Non-toxic?” I shrugged. Rainbow just stared at me for a few seconds before looking back to the tank.
“Shit, it’s about to fall in,” I said. “Let’s hope this works."
Sure enough, the RYAN drove itself directly into the pit and fell in, with a huge thud. Almost instantly, a bunch of Unicorns appeared out of nowhere and levitated a ton of dirt into the trench where the tank was, completely burying it. A good few seconds passed with nothing but complete silence as the dust settled.
“...Did it work?” Lyra asked, craning her neck trying to see better. “I don’t hear anything.”
“I dunno,” I said, also trying to get a better look at the trench from here. “Alright, listen. Nobody jump to conclusions just yet. Nobody say out loud that it worked. Nobody say anything with even a hint of confidence. We don’t want to jinx this.”
Everyone just stood there in silence for a good minute or two, just staring anxiously at the spot where the tank was buried.
“...Y’all think it might be fine now?” said Applejack.
“Not yet,” I said, sitting down on the grass. “Let’s wait a few more minutes.”
After about five minutes have passed, I finally got up. “Huh. Maybe it did work.”
“Yeah, I think your plan worked, George,” said Lyra. “Good job!”
“Yeah! My plan worked! I am the best at tank-stopping- Oh, wait. Shit.”
As if on cue, there was an ear-ringingly loud explosion as the dirt where the tank was erupted into the air and the ground shook below our feet.
“...Uh, maybe it just blew itself up?” I said.
At that exact moment, the tank rolled up out of the trench, completely unscathed, and continued towards Ponyville.
I was the first one to say something. “Oh. Oh shit. Uh, alright, guys, we got any other ideas?! Plan B, maybe?!”
“I believe we’ll have to resort to plan B, yes,” said Celestia.
“What is plan B, again?”
“Magic, of course,” said Luna. The two princesses lowered their horns and started shooting multicolored beams of magicy stuff at the tank, but to our disappointment, each one bounced off fruitlessly. Celestia tried levitating it away from Ponyville, but her magic aura just couldn’t seem to grip the tank. It was like the tank had some kind of raincoat on, except for magic. Amazing analogy, I know.
“Well, alright, apparently I’m an amazing engineer ‘cause that thing looks magic-proof!” I said, at this point hopping between feet anxiously. "How is that even possible, anyway? Aren't you two, like, super powerful?"
"Keeping these shields up has been a large drain on us," said Luna, who I just now noticed had noticeable beads of sweat forming on her face. "But even then, whatever is protecting that tank must be an immensely powerful defense."
The tank was now at the shield, and was repeatedly firing into it. The shield didn’t seem to be getting damaged, though I could see Twilight noticeably wince every time it took a shot. Celestia and Luna kept firing different colors of beams at the Tank, but none of them seemed to have any effect at all.
“What else can we do?!” said Lyra. “We’ve tried using magic on the ground around the tank, and we’ve tried using magic on the tank itself! What other options are there?!”
“Uhm, maybe something that doesn’t involve magic?” I suggested.
“What possible non-magic solution could there be?!” asked Lyra. Twilight looked like she was starting to tire out, and even the Princesses looked like they were starting to get affected from the tank’s assault on the shield.
I thought to myself for a moment. What is there that we haven’t tried? I looked at the RYAN from where we were. It was a bit far away, but I could still make out most of the details. I stared at it for a good 30 seconds or so, gradually tuning out all of my surroundings, trying to find, perhaps, one single thing of interest, just one single possible flaw or opening in its design…
...And then it caught my eye. The top of the tank… there’s a hatch. Is it possible to get inside the tank?!
“Holy FUCK!” I screamed, startling everyone present. “I have a goddamn idea!”
“...Well, then, by all means, share it, George,” said Tetesac.
“That thing’s a tank, right? Tanks usually have a way for people to get inside! And there’s a hatch on top of there! I may not have been able to touch the outside of it, but maybe I can teleport inside and shut it down!”
“That sounds risky,” said Twilight. “Are you sure you want to try that? What if the tank sees you before you can get close enough?”
“I can assist with that,” said Luna. “I can keep you hidden with a smaller version of this shield. However, given that we already have this one up, our range is currently rather limited. I believe we can get you up to within about ten feet of the tank.”
“Ten feet… I can probably manage that, yeah,” I said nervously. “I just gotta be able to sneak up a few feet closer and I’ll be fine. You know, provided my teleportation actually puts me inside the thing.”
“Well, I suppose we have no other options, unless anyone has any other suggestions,” said Celestia.
Everyone kept quiet and looked at each other. “Very well,” said Luna. “George, please stand at the edge of the shield.
I did as she said, and I saw the air start to ripple slightly around me. “Now, George,” Luna said, trying to concentrate and talk at the same time, “We will not be able to see you while you are in this shield. We will move it forward at a steady pace, so try to keep up with it.”
“Right, understood,” I said. Then, with absolutely zero warning (Thanks, Luna.) the shield started moving and left me behind for a second. I quickly ran back inside it and started walking towards the tank, staying within the boundaries of the bubble.
Alright, all I’ve got to do is get one teleport right. One single teleport, and I can potentially save this town. I’ve just got to concentrate. I need to teleport where I need to be. Into the tank. Teleport into the tank. That’s all I have to do. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Just… into the tank. Into the tank.
I was now getting somewhat close to the tank, and I could see the shield flickering a little. I stopped, wondering if the tank could see me. It fired another shot into Ponyville’s shield, this one hurting my ears from the sheer proximity. I took a few more steps and the shield completely disappeared.
Alright, this is it. I’m out in the open. If I screw this up, I’m dead. I can’t let the tank know I’m here. I took a few more steps towards the tank, and… stepped on a twig that gave off probably the loudest snap a twig could possibly give. I froze in place, petrified. There’s no way the tank didn’t hear that.
…
Okay, I’ve been waiting about 15 seconds and all it’s done is shoot another shell into Ponyville’s shield. Maybe it didn’t hear it. Hell, I’m not complaining. I got up close until I was a mere few feet away from the RYAN, and I closed my eyes. Just go a few feet in front of me… a few feet in front of me. Into the tank. Concentrating on the tank as hard as I possibly could, I waved my arm to the right, and… teleported back five feet.
“GOD DAMN IT!” I shouted. I- wait, why did I do that?
Unfortunately, I wasn’t as lucky this time, as this time the tank’s barrel quickly spun towards me. I stared down the barrel for a good few seconds, completely frozen with fear.
“Uh… hey, RYAN, it’s me. Geor- I mean, Humphrey Walt. You know, your creator! You wouldn’t shoot me, would you?” Instead of standing there any longer like an idiot, I waved my arm a second time and, thankfully, appeared behind the tank, me now standing directly between it and Ponyville. The tank looked around confused for a moment, then quickly turned back towards Ponyville, inadvertently spotting me again.
“Oh, shit.” I waved my arm a third time, this time appearing behind Ponyville’s shield. I gathered my bearings for a second and suddenly realized I was currently safe where I was. I, of course, took the opportunity to give the tank the middle finger, and then I waved my arm again, appearing to the left of the tank. I began repeatedly waving my arm over and over again, teleporting around the tank rapidly, still trying to get inside.
“Come- on- get- in- the- damn- tank- for- fuck’s- sake-” I kept waving my arm faster and faster, now trying to get into the stupid tank just by pure chance. But the environments I’m seeing are just grass, grass, grass, grass, grass, grass, metal, gr- WAIT, stop RIGHT THERE!
I quickly grabbed my arm and looked at what was in front of me. I was in the cockpit of the RYAN, staring at what seemed to be the control panel.
“Holy shit! YES! I made it! Holy god!” And as if that wasn’t great enough, there was a very clearly-labeled shutdown button on the control panel. There was even a self-destruct button on the floor below it, clearly labeled “DO NOT PRESS IF YOU ARE INSIDE THE TANK”. I'd best not hit that one. I quickly began to reach for the shutdown button, but I stopped as I heard a voice behind me.
“Y’all made a big mistake comin’ in here, Walty.”
That voice… Why do I recognize that voice? I spun myself around and was met with the sight of a man with a familiar long beard, one eye facing the wrong way, and really awful-looking beige pants. He looked like he'd gone senile at the age of thirty.
That’s right, standing right in front of me was none other than... Old Man Musket?
“I d- HUH?! I don’t- I- You?! What are you doing in the RYAN?!”
“We-hell, whaddaya think, boy? I’m blowin' up Ponyville is what I’s doin! Just like y’all told me to!”
“What?! I told you to blow up Ponyville?! I thought this stupid thing was self-piloted!”
“Nah, y’all ain’t that rootin’-tootin’ of an engineer, Walty! Heck, y'all ta steal one of those fancy-ass amulet thingies just so this thing could reflect magic!”
“...Okay, I don’t entirely understand what you just said, but either way, can you, like, not destroy Ponyville?”
“Sorry, pally boy, my mind’s been made up!” Just then, he reached behind his back and pulled out what appeared to be some kind of long tube, eyeing it for a second before pointing it towards me.
“The hell is that?” I asked, bewildered.
“Y’all like it? Ya should! It’s one of them fancy new fangled inventions of yers! The Musket! Y’all done named it after me!”
“...Really? Were we, like, friends or something?”
“Nope. I’m yer dad.”
”WHAT?!"
“Hee-hee, just kiddin’. Methinks we all had enough of them plot twisties for one day. Now then, y’all mosey on away from that there control panel.”
“What? You think I’m gonna let you destroy Ponyville just because you have a scary-looking tube with you?”
“I dunno, how ‘bout a scary-lookin’ tube that can shoot a metal ball at ya at eight hundred feet per second?”
“...Okay, that’s a little scarier, but why not get an all-access exclusive taste of THIS!” I quickly brought my finger up and attempted to shoot some flames in Musket's direction, but to my immediate dismay, only a tiny spark shot out.
"Oh, come on now!" I shouted, slapping my finger, trying to get it to do at least a little more than that. Seriously, this is not the best time for-
I stopped. Why… why do my ears hurt? I looked at Musket. I could see smoke emanating from his tube thing, and I slowly realized that I can’t hear anything. In fact, my ears are ringing like hell.
“What the hell did you just do?!” I yelled. Musket said something, but I couldn’t hear it for the life of me. Just then, Musket pointed to my abdomen. What’s he on about now? I looked down at myself, and, to my shock, noticed a hole in my shirt that was slowly becoming more red by the second.
“...Oh, crap.” The pain began to rush in. I grabbed the area where I’d been shot and I collapsed onto the floor.
My hearing coming back ever so slowly, I saw Musket step over me and over to the control panel, continuing to fire shots into Ponyville’s shield.
First off, I want you to know: Don’t ever get shot. It hurts. Like, on an excruciating level. Second off, I’m in danger of bleeding to death in this tank while this guy destroys Ponyville. I don’t know how long that shield’s gonna last, but it won’t last forever.
“You complete and utter jackass...” I coughed out some blood. “Like, seriously, dude. What is your problem...?”
“Them ponies, obviously. What else’d be my problem, Walty? They was your problem, too, ‘til that King guy wiped yer memories n’all.”
“But… why, though? What reason do you have to destroy Ponyville?!”
“I dunno. Y’all said it’d be fun, and I hate them damn ponies anyhoo.” He fired another shot into the shield. The damn thing looked like it was visibly cracking at this point. I didn’t even know magic could crack.
I tried to stand up, but the pain was just too much. I couldn’t get a single foot on the floor.
“Aw, come on, Walty! Don’t y’all wanna watch them fireworks with me before ya die?” He fired another shot at the shield. The shield wasn’t able to stop it. The explosion blew a small hole through it, an opening just large enough for the RYAN to shoot through.
“Hee-HEE! Yessirree, this’ll do nicely!”
I needed to do something. Anything that could stop this. I don’t care what at this point. I can’t die laying at the bottom of a tank, being gloated at by some senile old man. That's an unflattering way to go if I've ever heard of one.
I heard an explosion. “RIP-A-DEE-DOO! There goes somebody’s house!”
An explosion… wait.
The self destruct button.
I craned my neck as hard as possible, eyeing the self destruct button under the desk. I slowly started to drag myself towards Musket, trying to be as quiet as possible while he was focused on blowing up Town Hall.
“Y’all seein’ this, Walty? This is what y’all wanted!”
I grabbed Musket’s ankle and pulled his foot out from underneath him, causing him to fall on his back in an admittedly rather funny-looking fashion.
“Agh! What in tarnation-?!”
I lurched as far under the desk as possible and... stopped.
Is this really all worth it? Just to save a town? Like, it's just a bunch of buildings. Is it really that important? I mean, I know a lot of ponies live here and stuff, but-
Oh, wait. My line of thinking is being interrupted by Musket trying to pull me out from under the desk.
"Get outta there, ya damn idjit! Yer gonna kill us both!"
Oh, screw it.
I slammed my fist down on the button.