• Member Since 24th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 7th, 2021


If you're looking for sarcastic humor, you've come to the right place!


This is your typical, stereotypical HIE story exposing all the HIE stereotypes, but like, compressed and crammed into one short chapter, making the pacing extremely awkward and fast. Yeah that's pretty much it.

*Disclaimer, I don't hate HIE stories, I actually love them. Don't sue me. Also, I'm so sorry for this.*

Big thanks to Flutterpriest for the narration! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z_Tb9JOfjQ!

This got featured on 9-26-2016... Why? I have no clue, but thanks!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 309 )

I'll be perfectly honest, I started skimming real quick.

hum I am thinking you should be sorry for this. no it is a descent story trust me I have tried reading way worst to tell the truth it is a good story.

A few spelling errors and such aside (which could easily be argued after the fact as intention to emulate HIE fanfictions even more closely), this was great. I think I probably would have had him waking up in the Everfree Forest and being attacked by a timberwolf or manticore instead of Sweet Apple Acres, though. Twas an enjoyable mockery of the HIE genre.

7594714 How's that any different than most other HIE fics?

This is pretty much the standard 100k word HiE, condensed down.
Pretty good :)

7594747 It's different in that I actually read a few paragraphs before I started to skim.

Usually, I skim so fast I don't even click into the story.

Got to say....this story does summarizes most HIE stories :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

This was perfect :rainbowlaugh:

7594777 Indeed it was. :D

7594721 Ah dude, I haven't seen you in forever! Glad you're still around :)

I will use this as a reference on what to do and what not to do under any circumstances.

Thank you.

My god... Was this done 4 deh lelz?:trollestia:

Before I read this, can someone plz tell me what HIE means? :rainbowhuh:

Oh holy fudge that was insane. Oh God magic, my grasp on reality is being shredded faster than Hillary's emails."

Take all of the wins.

Try reading the dialogue with really stupid\ ridiculous voices :rainbowlaugh:

*snickers madly* Somehow this was even more amusing than I expected, and my expectations were pretty high.

I had to take frequent 3 minute breaks due to the pain in my cheeks. Good stuff! :rainbowlaugh:

Holy black on a Popo...

7594788 I am still on site and have ben watching for up dates on Cryogen.
if you get a chance you should check out my last too blogs.

That moment when you thought of an idea to make the most cliche human in equestria story but someone just made one a week later

(Don't forget the human got here because discord and basically almost every story has "hijinks ensue" with an interlude where the protagonist plays pranks on everypony)

Wow... that was pretty cringy. Visually this would probably be acted out with cardboard cut-outs and someone who didn't get enough coffee in the morning. 10/10 best story! :rainbowlaugh:

Well this was something....I don't know kind of something but it was sure something.

Okay from a serious point of view this was pretty bad but beleive it or not compared to some other stuff oc read this is really good if one tries to take it seriously.

Of course this is not meant to be serious it's meant to be bad and cringe inducing. In that regard it's a pretty good and relatively successful.

Oh and this made me laugh and smiel quite a few times. Good job.


I laughed really hard at the These are complete shit XD I'm a fan

Oh God magic, my grasp on reality is being shredded faster than Hillary's emails."

FALSE! No one deletes emails faster than Hilary! (or her interns) Take my like!


edit. I can't stop reading that in the most passive/not caring voice I can imagine.

Absolutely hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Thank you for making this!

What! RD would never love a lowly human!
*completely serious and generic rant about how bad this serious story is*


read story,
print story,
sett the printed story on fire,
piss on the ashes, go have a pint of beer, piss on the ashes again. :pinkiecrazy:
but seriously, it's a funny parody story about HiE.

You call that stereotypical?

It doesn't even have a scene where the human appears in the Everfree forest, rescues the Cutie Mark Crusaders by fighting off a manticore and/or timberwolves, and immediately gets knocked unconscious by Rainbow Dash and/or Applejack, for his trouble.

Gotta have that scene that establishes your protagonist is a special blend of heroic badass, and poor, wrongfully-persecuted everyman. Just like every other HiE.

So, how is the weather on the moon? Cuz magic?:trollestia:

7595406 It's shit, send help

You missed the part where Celestia's a bitch and turns him to stone for no reason.

You nailed everything except for 1 small detail. The human must burst into tears over literally nothing a couple times to show he's actually a scared, whiny, little man baby who has:
A) Been alone for multiple years after the only person he's cared about died in some tragic event and, despite having said multiple years to accept and move on that fact, is so emotionally unstable over it that any form of memory makes him become an emotion wreck or;

B) Literally never been alone for a single day in their life or experianced any form of loss because they've always had a parent or friends with them constantly and now that they are gone and he's alone, he literally can't do a single thing by himself because said persons did every single thing for that person resulting in the character being a whiny, man baby who doesn't know how the real world works and expects everyone to do everything for him and justifies that as friendship despite the character having zero reason to like said whiny, man baby

7595263 You forgot getting splattered by a car to start off.

The punctuation started eating my soul after a handful of lines. Just because you are making a joke, or a parody, doesn't mean you should ignore good writing habits.

And then the tall sentient ape and flying rainbow horse banged. The End.

HiE is my favorite type of story. But after a decent amount of 'MURICA FUCK YEAH HiE, badly-written HiE with or without good potential/ideas/scenarios, HiE that prefer to bash on canon characters, I lost faith in them. I will try to read them but will quit pretty soon if some of these hated tropes of mine come up:
"You're in a new land that have magic? You MUST get super denial and depressed"...EVERYONE REACT DIFFERENTLY TO THINGS!
Or the trope of "Human protagonist is always right and ponies is always wrong." Despite the fact that most of them couldn't have done things better without the plot armor.
And my "favorite" *deadpan* "I can be a jerk to everyone and they will love me because ha ha I am superior to all those lowly animal ponies."
Or a general man-child attitude despite being of proper age with way too much pride and arrogance and anger issue.
Oh and another one "Human are scary, hate and fear them despite the fact that Equestria have much much scarier monsters and sapient species. All just to have meaningless conflict that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
To quote from TV Tropes: "It is often said that "conflict is the soul of drama"; without some form of conflict to fuel things, there's no engine to drive the story and thus little reason to engage with it. However, we here at TV Tropes would like to propose an amendment to this phrase which includes something important but sadly all-too-often forgotten: Meaningful conflict is the soul of drama."
And these are only the few among the many problems that I have with HiE despite it being my favorite Genre.

7595952 No, no they do not! Both have different meanings. Sapient points to something with human or higher level of intellience while Sentience points to something with cat or dog or even dolphin level of intelligence
To simplify: Sentience is the ability to perceive and to adapt while Sapience is Wisdom.

7596000 Ok perfectionist. Wait, humans can percieve and adapt. So... don't they both count?

"Oh holy fudge that was insane. Oh God magic, my grasp on reality is being shredded faster than Hillary's emails."


7596022 Doesn't mean it is Sapient with only Sentient.
Animals can adapt, sure. But they are more or less restricted by natural selection and natural cycles..
Where as we have a certain level of understanding and we put it into good use to make sure we don't waste away or forced to move when the weather changes.

XD Wow! Hahahah, Every HiE Ever! It's totally like that....but as much as this made my guts explode, it's kinda sad to see a lot of HiE's falls in this trope....but then liked during the second half. Although breaking the stereotype in this types of fic are rare (in my opinion), the stereotypes are like 'an oldie, but a goodie' type of phrase. I actually thought of a short idea in my head out of boredome: a human who is a brony (yea this one's typical) who read a lot of HiE fanfics and tries to avoid as many stereotypes as he/she can....hilarity ensues.

Whoa! Fluttershy's breaking the 4th Wall??:pinkiegasp:


This was exactly what I needed to brighten up my day. I can't stop smiling! This was so... good? bad? goodly bad? XD Was very hilarious, 10/10. And would you look at that--you're on the front page of FIMFiction!

This is like watching a Nostalgia Critic sketch.

We need Santa Christ!

Thank you for posting this valuable guideline on cringey tropes for Fimfiction writers to avoid. I also enjoy HIE stories, but find said tropes detract from the immersion/enjoyment of an otherwise good story.


if the timestamp feature doesn't work, start @ 5:16

edit : yeah, the timestamp doesn't work. does anyone know how to make the video start at a certain time>?

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