//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 - A Mage Mitigating Misconstrued Miscreant Machinations // Story: Equestria's Most Wanted: A Mage Managing Mistaken Misconduct // by WIL_I_ZIN //------------------------------// Equestria's Most Wanted Chapter 2 - A Mage Mitigating Misconstrued Miscreant Machinations By Wil_I_Zin Edited by BradtheBrony, AuthorGenesis ----- It was a few hours before midday when we arrived in Ponyville. While the driver outside thought that he was the bees knees after having such a good four hour run, the occupant inside was feeling much less enthusiastic. Meaning me. My mental and physical condition would scream ‘exhausted and disheveled’ if you were to properly look upon me. It seems riding in the back of a rickety wagon filled with boxes falling on your head and being tossed around like a rag doll isn’t exactly the best thing for one’s well-being. Don’t look at me like that, I’ve never ridden in one before! Cut me some slack here. The fabulous wagon ride, coupled with the fatigue of all my running and spell casting last night, had me glad I wasn’t unconscious by that point. I had moved myself to the back part of the wagon to give myself a better view of the outside, and also as an emergency place to upchuck if the nausea got to me. From what I could see, Ponyville was a rather quaint and charming little town. The thatched roof cottages blended well together with the many decorated trees, and flower arrangements around town giving it that ol’ New England vibe. There were far more ponies out and about than I was happy with. Too many eyes would lessen my chances of pulling my plan off correctly, and I needed to have this first contact with Twilight Sparkle go as smoothly as possible. She was my only hope of convincing Celestia of my innocence and turning around this series of unfortunate events. Just as I was thinking about how to find Twilight’s abode, it just so happened that the cart passed right by the Ponyville library. Well that’s oddly convenient, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, the entire surrounding area was filled with ponies. I groaned internally. There was no way I was going to get past that crowd, not unless they all turned to look at something at the same time. And what should walk past my sight at that moment: none other than a heavily inebriated purple earth pony mare. She was clutching a bottle in the crook of one of her forelegs, which was filled with what I knew was wine of some sort. The smell was so heavy I could practically taste it from the confines of my hiding spot. She hobbled down the street on her three remaining legs, but with the way she was swaying back and forth, all it would take is a small push for someone to send her toppling over. An idea took root within my mind, as the mare's inebriated state presented an opportunity for me, and far be it from me to not take every advantage that presented itself to me. Especially given my currently unfavorable circumstances in this cotton candy land. I reached out with my magic to grab the bottle out of the mare’s hold. I felt the tug of the bottle in my mind and with a flick of my finger, pushed it out of her grasp. The bottle fell out of the crook of her foreleg down to the the ground in front of her. She was so intoxicated however, that she stepped right on the bottle and slipped. I swear at that moment, the laws of physics decided to take a vacation, and promptly left the premises on a trans-dimensional flight of nonexistence. The purple mare flew forward comically head over hoof and landed into a cart filled with canisters of dairy creamer. White cream splashed everywhere and the cart started speeding backwards. Ponies jumped out of the wild two-wheeler’s path as it barreled right toward a pile of crates. Someone had apparently left a large plank of wood leaning on said crates and the cart rocketed up the incline launching itself into the air. The violent vibrations and jostling of the canisters of dairy cream splashing, sloshing, and splattering all over the place, as it flew through the air. The cart, with no respect of the law of gravity, soared over a flower stall hosted by three terrified mares who kept screaming ‘The horror! The horror!’, a  line of school children who oooh’ed as the object sailed over them, and crashed right into a building going through its front window. Wood and dairy exploded in a combination of sound and visual awe that rivaled a kiloton bomb. Every single pony in the area stood in awe of the sight, as did I. Slowly I looked away from the disaster zone and down to my still extended finger. “Boy, you are a dangerous little thing aren’t ya?” I muttered to my own appendage with disbelief. I stowed away what I now considered my deadliest weapon and slunk out the back of the covered wagon. All the ponies still had their attention fully on the destruction caused by the runaway milk cart, and their reactions varied from pony to pony. “Damn it Berry!” berated a light blue mare at the drunkard half buried in the rubble of the building with the other half covered in cream. “Co- … Colgate, now don’t you be yellin’ … at me. It ain’t the first time, I’ve somehow wound up with ... sticky white st- … stuff all over me,” slurred the inebriated pony as she waved her hoof in the general direction of her criticizer. “Ohhhhhhh my!” said a nearby older Japanese looking pony. While the exchange of dialogue was happening between the ponies, I was dashing from cover to cover towards the town’s tree library. Why someone would stock a bunch of burnable objects within a giant burnable building was beyond me. Sliding up next to a barrel close to the door, I took one last look out at the crowd to be sure no one was looking. Thankfully they were all still occupied, as they were watching the rantings of an angry mare yelling at her drunken acquaintance; while some of the ponies were clearing away the wreckage. I slunk up to the door of the library and gave the knob a test; it was unlocked. The door silently moved as I pushed it open, peeking my head inside. The room inside seemed to be lacking any occupants so I slipped through the entryway, ducking to avoid hitting my head on the low clearance door frame. I quietly shut the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Step one: Get to the library without any angry mobs attacking’, had been successfully pulled off. Which meant ‘step two: convince Twilight you’re innocent’, was next. I had ran through a multitude of scenarios with regards on how to approach her regarding my situation. Most of them were hoping that she hadn't received a letter from Celestia yet regarding the theft. If she had, that would cut it down to prostrating myself and begging her to listen, or cry- I mean, act despondently to garner an emotional connection. I steeled myself and took a deep breath, it was show time. “Hello? Anyone here?” I called out into the library. Looking around I saw a staircase ahead of me ascend into another part of the library and an archway to my right which led into a small kitchen and dining area. I admired the collection of literature adorning the shelves. There were sections for studies on magic, history, geography and more. Maybe if everything worked out I could check some of these out, I always did wonder how much research regarding thaumatology was studied and known on other worlds. However, there was still the matter of clearing up my problem first. “Hello? Anyone?” “Just a minute!” came a boyish call from upstairs. Down the staircase descended a walking stack of books. On closer inspection there also seemed to be a tiny dragon carrying the aforementioned books and they were stacked more than four times higher than the little guy’s own height. I knew who this fellow was: his name was Spike, Twilight’s little assistant and helper. “Uh, you need some help?” I asked. “Nope! I- gah, I got it!” he replied nearly tipping the stack over. As he wobbled down the steps the stack of books wobbled back and forth, nearly tipping over like a mobile Jenga tower. “So, what can I help you with?” he inquired as he came down. “Well, I was looking for Twilight Sparkle, is she in?” I asked hopefully. “Actually she’s been gone for a couple of days.” My heart sank as he spoke those words. “Where has she been?” I hoped that she might have been close by. “She’s been away in Canterlot since her coronation as a princess of Equestria. I only got back home myself last night.” It was at that moment my hope shattered. She was in Canterlot, which meant that she definitely had heard about the theft. With my one chance gone, I slumped to my knees without a clue of what to do. Spike set down a pair of books, while his back was turned to me and began to sort them. “I’m happy for her and all, but there’s only so much boring princess-y stuff that I can take. So I just came back with everypony else.” I perked up at that, it may just be a small sliver of hope, but instead of convincing Twilight, I could just convince her friends! I decided I should probably start with Spike, since he was the closest to her and might be the most effective way for me to help persuade the others to consider my plight. “The reason I was wondering is I kinda need some help in regards to a magic problem I have,” I explained. While not the the full truth it was close enough for now. “A magic problem? Well we have some books on magic troubleshooting over in section three.” he informed while not looking away from his project. “Uh, well it’s more of a personal and magical problem.” I added with a small nervous chuckle. “Lemme guess, Poison … Joke?” his last word came out as a squeak when he turned to see who it was he’d been talking to this entire time. Spike’s eyes went as wide as serving plates as he looked up at me. “Hi?” I said with a small wave. “Ahhhh!” he responded with a scream and then blasted me with dragon fire. The interesting thing about some dragon’s fire is that it can contain magic properties. Some can heal, others can grow plants, and others can imbue the recipient with power. Spike’s however was set to traditional immolating fires at the moment as my hair became alight with green flames and I felt my skin sizzling. “Sweet Jimminy!” I screamed in both shock and pain from the heat and ran through the archway with the fire on my head following me into the library’s kitchen. My arms shot out towards the taps on the sink and threw them on full bore, sticking my head underneath the stream. Cool water soaked my head as the fire was put out and I sighed in relief. I pulled back, wringing the water from my singed hair follicles and shaking the rest out. I looked in the reflection of a nearby bowl of tomatoes on top of the fridge to see the damage. Amazingly there was no frizzed hair or burned skin, though it did look like I was missing some hair length. I guessed it must have been the drake’s magic-sending-fire-breath that sent letters to Celestia. “Wait … sends letters to Celestia!?” I exclaimed in realization. I ran back out into the main library room only to find Spike gone from it. What I found instead was an open letter that was grouped with the stack of books he brought down. I glanced a second at it to confirm my fears. It read: Dear Spike, I know I said I would write to you to tell you how settling in as a princess is going, but unfortunately the news I have for you isn’t good. The Elements of Harmony were recently stolen out of the vault last night and the perpetrator is a pegasus partnered with a creature that; if the guard describe it correctly is a complete mystery.  A bipedal creature with a scrawny build to its body, with sunken in eyes and the ability to use powerful and complex magic. Such a thing hasn’t been recorded anywhere and Celestia and Luna are baffled as to what it could be. I’ve enclosed a sketch that the guards were able to make from eyewitness accounts. I took a look at the sketch and didn’t know whether to be insulted or surprised. The sketch artist had gotten down all the important details, enough that if this was put on a wanted poster he’d look pretty menacing. The only problem I had was that the nose was all wrong, far too big and bulbous. I’m worried that the thieves might try to get to you or my friends so please let the rest of them know immediately about this. I will be coming back to Ponyville and hopefully we can figure out a way to get the Elements back. Take care Spike, I love you and hope that you stay safe. -Twilight P.S. If the creature does appear, don’t try fighting it! Contact me immediately and try and find help; it’s very dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? I’ll be home soon. My stomach dropped as I read that last line. I had to find Spike before he sent that message! From upstairs I heard the scratching of something running over the ceiling and figured that’s where he went. I leapt up the stairs three at a time, bounding like a jackrabbit on Speed. I knocked down the door at the top with a shoulder check and burst into the room right as Spike blew green fire all over a scroll. “No!” I called out and made a dive for the parchment. Spike leapt back and the scroll went flying into the air. I ran towards it, diving and reaching out my hand to catch it, only for the scroll to become ethereal and whisk itself away on an unseen wind out the window as I flopped on my belly. My mind reeled back: that was my last chance, and it was gone. And I felt angry. “You stupid, freaking, lizard!” I screamed as I rose to my feet stomping them for emphasis. “Do you even fu-” my rant was interrupted as I became intimately involved with Starswirl’s Guide to Crystal Dynamics Omnibus (the unabridged version) as it impacted my face and knocked me back onto the floor. I didn’t stay down for long as I shot back to my feet and issued a rage-filled snarl and bounded toward the dragon who continued to lob books of all sizes at me. I charged at Spike with the intent to throttle the little bastard and make him write a new letter, and maybe throw him out a window. Hey! I wasn’t thinking rationally, but you try being rational when you’ve had a day like mine! Spike, however, was a very agile little drake and would dive between my legs or zigzag around me. He ran down the staircase and I followed him screaming the primal warcry of my ancestors; Though considering that I’m Irish, I guess that means I just sounded drunk and pissed. Spike ran into the kitchen and started hurling all the utensils at me. Most were more annoying than damaging, however when he started tossing the knives I began to panic. One knife sailed past my face cutting my cheek, eliciting a cry of shock from me. Out of instinct, I shot a small concussive force out of my hand to knock him back. While no means as powerful as the one I used on the Canterlot guards, it was powerful enough to knock Spike backwards into the refrigerator. The force of Spike hitting the solid fridge caused him to drop his ammunition and stagger around for a second. The shockwave was also hard enough to cause a bowl of tomatoes that had been resting on top of the cooler to wobble off its perch and fall down on top of Spike’s head. Red tomato goo splattered all over the drake and the floor followed by the heavy bowl itself giving him a nice concussion. The hit must have been the final straw as Spike then fell flat onto his face with a heavy thunk. My rage subsided and reason shot into my brain making me realise what I just did. ‘Oh fuck!’ I thought to myself, ‘I just K.O.ed the only real last chance I had!’ I ran over to Spike’s unconscious form and picked him up, trying to shake him awake. “No-no-no-no, no!” I pleaded with the comatose dragon, “I need your help dude! If you don’t wake up, Twilight and the others are going to th-” I never got a chance to finish my sentence, something that seemed to becoming awfully common for me lately, because there was the sound of a sparkling poof with a flash of light from right behind me. I turned my head around slowly to see what was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen, including up to a mare with a frying pan. Twilight Sparkle. Mad. Very mad. Of course looking at it from her standpoint: she gets a frantic letter from her number one assistant and teleports home only to find the library in tatters, knives and kitchen utensils everywhere, and her little brother/son figure covered in ‘blood’ being shaken by a presumably evil and powerful creature. So it’s totally understandable that she giga-blasted me with raw telekinetic force, knocking me clear through the wall of the library and both walls of the house next door … doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt … which it did. A lot. I don’t remember much about her hitting me, only that my senses returned a moment later when I found my body embedded in the ground ... on the other side of the street. The wards I had placed on myself had shattered and my body felt like I had gone toe-to-toe with Mike Tyson. Those wards were only to prevent me from minor magical backlash, like accidents in my lab. Thankfully they stopped me from breaking anything, but I was sure that now every muscle in my body was in agony right now. With another flash of light I had a rage-filled alicorn in front of me. If I had any muscle control at that moment I would have been shitting my pants, which would have been interesting because I was technically wearing robes. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the show this world was based on lately, but I then remembered everyone had made a fuss about Twilight becoming a princess or something. I now wished I had done a little more research before coming here, because I was now staring at a very mad archmage who thought I killed her little brother. “How dare you hurt him!” Twilight roared at me with tears rolling down her face. My entire body constricted as I felt Twilight’s mana flow over me in a telekinetic grasp. She hoisted me off the ground and threw me across the street into a bunch of vendor stalls filled with fresh fruit. Ponies ran screaming from the rampaging princess, who was tossing me around like a cheap ragdoll. The wards that had once protected me were now defunct, letting me feel the full experience of pieces of watermelon and pears smashing into me with reckless abandon. I think a cherry even got wedged up my nose. I tried to dispel her aura around me, but she didn’t give me a moment to concentrate as she threw my messed up body into a nearby fountain. Well, she at least had the common courtesy to clean me off after using me as a fruit salad mixer. With one final throw she threw me to the ground so hard the wind got knocked out of me. I gasped for air and tried to rise to my feet, but a coughing fit racked me and I fell back. My shifting around caused the contents of my bag to move and a single crystal fell out rolling between Twilight and me. Her anger subsided for a second as her intellectual curiosity came out. “What is … ?” she asked herself picking up the crystal with her magic and examined it. I looked up to see what she had grabbed and in a moment of desperation I reached out my hand toward the crystal. Originally the crystal she held was just a simple light tool, practically a glorified flashlight. I channeled what magic I could concentrate into that crystal and released it all at once. There was an explosion of light at first like a flash bang grenade went off, but then it burst even brighter, like a sun going supernova. I shielded my eyes, but even through that barrier it was still too bright and I felt my eyeballs sting. There was no way I put that much magic in the crystal to cause a flash that big; it must have somehow leeched off of Twilight’s levitation spell and amplified the results a hundredfold. The light disappeared as quickly as it came and I heard the enraged cries of an alicorn, who was joined by some of the townsfolk. “Ah! What did you do to me!? My eyes!” exclaimed the now blind princess. Many of the bystanders shared her condition as they stumbled about and collided with one another. I seized this opportunity to escape and stumbled to my feet. Breathing was still difficult for me, which made my flight feel more like a crippled hobbling down the street. I had to get as far away from Twilight as I could, before she recovered or figured out some spell to cure her blindness. Ponies who saw me stagger through town, panicked away and hid inside any building that was near them. Some of them even screamed what sounded like ‘Element Thief.’ Soon the crowds began to thin and I saw fewer and fewer ponies as I wandered into some sort of park. A large ruckus could be heard in the distance behind me as I ventured forth into the greenery. I flopped down into a large shrubbery surrounded by bushes and tried to be as quiet as a person who had just been thrown through several walls could be. I wheezed as softly as I could, and didn’t move an inch as I lay hiding. The thundering of hooves came closer and clearer to me, and through a small hole in the smattering of leaves I could see its cause. A whole mob of ponies, complete with pitchforks and torches, had followed me and stopped just short of where I was hiding. “Ponyfeathers, I was sure it went this way,” snorted a hovering pegasus mare with a pitchfork in her hooves. “Maybe it flew away?” a plump earth pony suggested. The rest of the group murmured about other possibilities regarding where I might have gone. But before the crowd could get any more worked up, a flash of purple light and magic silenced them as Princess Twilight appeared before them, albeit more singed than the last time I saw her. “Princess!” gasped one of the ponies amongst the riotous mob. “Are you-?” “I’m fine Davenport, thank you,” interrupted the alicorn. “However, I must ask that all of you return to your homes.” “We can’t do that, Princess! That jerk broke my fruit stand with his ‘flying around in a glowing purple aura’ thing!” shouted one. “Yeah! And my cart was ruined when he landed on it!” “And my filly Jewel Gleam was blinded by that bright flash of his!” “Mommy, why am I seeing bubbles everywhere?” Twilight’s eyes shifted back and forth before nodding and speaking to the crowd. She lightly blushed and scuffed the ground nervously with one hoof before looking away from the crowd sheepishly. “Yes … those were all things that he did, and I had nothing to do with … at all.” I wanted to jump out of the bush and call out Twilight on her bullshit, but common sense dictated that it would be a horrendously stupid idea to do. “Please everypony, the Element Thief is very dangerous and until a detachment of Royal Guards arrives it would be in your best interests if you wait in your homes until the all-clear signal is sounded.” “But Princess, we can’t let you be out here all alone against that creature!” protested a squeaky sounding mare. “Yeah, you’ve saved Ponyville plenty of times, your Highness. Now it’s time we returned the favor!” A resounding cheer rose up from the crowd and Twilight seemed surprised by the crowd’s gusto. I was just as astonished; I thought the peasantry were all scared of their own shadows! But when I show up they decided to grow some cojones!? “Hey everypony!” shouted some pony near the back of the crowd. “Wind Whisper thinks she saw the creature heading towards Sugarcube Corner!” The crowd screeched an adorable warcry and galloped away, leaving a confounded Twilight Sparkle in their dust. As the last pony of the mob rounded the corner, from the opposing direction ran up another colorful group of ponies, ones which I recognized as Twilight’s friends. I thought back to my limited knowledge about Twilight and her friends. I had only seen a few episodes of the show this world was based on, but their personalities and skills were very easy to remember. There was Rarity, a unicorn tailor with a prissy attitude. Floating behind her trailed Rainbow Dash, a brash pegasus who was the sort of tomboy jock that would punch things first and ask questions never. And heading up the rear of the group was Applejack, an earth pony whose strength could shatter trees with one kick. Surprisingly, two were missing from this entourage, but even without them they were still dangerous to me. All in all I was staying as well hidden as I could, because I doubted the outcome of me meeting these mares now would be anything but excruciatingly painful. “Twilight!” cried Rarity in an overly dramatic tone. “What in the heavens is going on? I heard our dear Spike had been hospitalized by some ... brutish creature!” Twilight looked both nervous and relieved as she closed the distance between her friends. “Spike’s going to be alright girls,” she informed her friends as she was trying to ease their worries. “He’s only suffered a minor concussion and he has Fluttershy and Doctor Stable keeping an eye on him.” “Ah heard that it was much more serious than that Twilight,” drawled an anxious Applejack. “Rose was sayin’ she saw you rushin’ his blood-stained body to the hospital!” “Oh, well I did technically do that.” Her friends gasped at this and Rarity looked ready to faint. “Wait! I meant it looked bad, but all that ‘blood’ turned out to be just tomato paste!” Her friends let out a sigh of relief at that. “Oh thank goodness,” responded Rarity “that’s so like Rose and her sisters, always playing up something for drama. Besides, who else could be so easily fooled into thinking tomato paste would be blood?” Twilight’s poker face was once again cracking and her eyes began to shift around. “Riiiiiiiight,” She awkwardly replied, “You’d have to be a foal to fall for something so childish like that.” It’s at this point that I want to remind you citizens of Equestria that this is your new and future ruler. How I weep for your country. “Enough chit chat!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, bursting into the middle of the conversation. “Some weirdo monster thinks he can come and steal our Elements, and hurt our best dragon Spike?” Rainbow snorted and knocked her forehooves together. “That chump is going down.” Applejack and Rarity nodded firmly at Rainbow Dash’s declaration. “I appreciate that you want to help me girls, but this creature is a serious thre-” “Now hold on there sugar cube,” interrupted Applejack. “We're going ta help ya, and we don’t care how tough he is.” Applejack put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “We’ve taken on worse than this, and we’ll wrangle up this problem like we always have, together.” Twilight paused for a moment before she lightly sighed and chuckled at herself. “You’re right, Applejack,” she responded as she smiled at them. “Thanks girls.” As I watched from the bushes, I thought the scene was almost heartwarming, like something out of a feel good movie. Of course, its charm was immediately blown into smithereens when I remembered this was them gearing up to kick my sorry butt. “By the way,” Twilight asked, “where’s Pinkie Pie?” “No idea,” answered Rainbow Dash “The second she found out about Spike being hurt she ran off saying she’s ‘going to get her angry mob party supplies.’” “So that’s where they got the torches and pitchforks …” Twilight mumbled to herself. Shaking her head to clear it, Twilight face took on a determined look. “Okay girls, we’re going to split up. Rainbow Dash, you and Rarity comb the western side of town while Applejack and I cover the east. If we can prevent this thief from escaping town we’ll eventually corner and capture it.” Her friends all nodded in agreement, until Applejack interjected. “What if the jackrabbit tries to skedaddle through the Everfree forest to the south? It’d be easy to lose anyone chasing ya in there.” “Oh please Applejack,” commented Rarity, “if you want to escape into the jaws of some vicious beast perhaps. You’d be an absolute fool to want to go into there.” “And ya think somepony who steals for a livin’, is smart enough to not go into a forest full of monsters?” Applejack implied. “Actually, I already have that covered,” Twilight explained, “I had the local town guard send a group to watch the bridges leading into the forest. The only way the thief is getting past them is by taking a very loud swim.” Her friends seemed impressed at her forethought, and quite honestly so was I. They had really boxed me in this time, and I was getting very nervous about how I was going to escape. Twilight told them that if they spotted me, they were to have a unicorn launch a small flare into the sky to alert everypony. After this they split and went their separate ways, and I myself let out a large breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. I was trapped, that much was clear. An entire town was out to get me and every exit was covered. I thought that maybe if I just surrendered that perhaps they would go easy on me? Then the image of Twilight’s war face screaming at me, slammed into that thought process and squashed it like a fat guy on a Segway. I had to escape, and furthermore I had to either clear my name, or get my damn book to work. I double checked Tome at that moment asking it about "Airplanes" and it still refused to show even a hang glinder. Whatever was causing my book to not work would have to wait until I was out of the danger zone. I then considered my options of escape: I could try sneaking out of town by hiding in alleyways and bushes, but doing so would be hard as the streets were wide and shrubbery wasn’t that plentiful outside of town; I could try sneaking out of town via the train, but they would probably be thoroughly searching every compartment leaving town; the last option was both the stupidest and probably the highest one for success; escaping through the Everfree forest. Rarity had been correct, only an absolute fool would think that running into a cursed forest was a smart idea. Sure, getting to it meant getting there without being seen to begin with. I'd have to sneak past a group of Celestia’s best over a river, and somehow navigate a forest with its phasers set to maim and kill. Yeah, easy, a total walk in the park for a fantastically clever and handsome mage like myself. Why getting through the city was eas- ... you can stop smirking, I did escape after all. Anyway, after I worked up the courage, I peeked around to see if there were any threats to my stealthiness. Finding the surroundings unoccupied, I embarked on my quest to escape this little hamlet, preferably with all my limbs attached. Since Applejack had said the forest was to the south, and she went with Twilight eastward, I moved in the general direction of south continuing through the park. Every so often I hid inside a bush to avoid the occasional passing pegasus. It was nerve wracking, whereas in Canterlot I had the advantage of the shadows in the night, here in Ponyville the sun was still high in the sky. Luckily, I wasn’t spotted as I darted through the park and neared its edge. Ahead in the distance, I could see the town beginning to thin out and I heard the faint sound of rushing water as well, giving me hope that I was on the right course. I was just about to make a break for another hiding spot when a shout made me leap back into hiding. Fearing I had been spotted I scanned the skies for any pegasi, but found none. Another shout pointed me to its source, and it came from a couple of foals who were fairly close to where I was hiding. It looked like they were arguing about something, but I couldn’t quite make it out. I don’t quite remember my reasoning why, but I decided to sneak through the shrubbery to see what all the commotion was about. When I got within earshot the voice cried again. “Give it back Diamond Tiara!” pleaded one voice. “Why don’t you just use your magic and get it yourself? Oh right, I forgot, you can’t,” teased back another. I cleared back some of the leaves from my current hiding space to see two earth pony fillies, one pink with a piece of jewelry on her head, the other gray with glasses blocking a light purple unicorn filly and a gray pegasus colt from retrieving a stuffed pony doll that they had. Ah, so they were bullies. There were no other adult poines around that I could see, so the little foals were on their own. As much as I detested the sight, I couldn’t get involved. I should have moved on and looked for a clear spot to make a break for the river, but I didn’t. “Just give it back you jerks!” exclaimed the pegasus colt. “If you don’t I’ll-” “You’ll what?” interrupted the pink earth filly, “go get your big brother? What, is little Rumble so weak he has to go crying to get help?” The colt named Rumble sputtered, unable to respond. The unicorn filly attempted to make a grab for her stolen toy only for the pink earth filly to slide out of the way, causing the unicorn filly to crash into the ground. She got up slowly, favoring one leg which had a few scuff marks on it. The filly looked like she was holding back some tears as she yelled again. “Stop doing this! Just give me back Ms. Flowerbell!” she wailed. The pink earth filly, who at this point I guessed must have been the ‘Diamond Tiara’ I heard shouted earlier smirked at her victim. “Sorry, but she’s mine now. It’s only fair, you had Ms. Cheerilee make me stay behind school and ruin my hooficure cleaning the chalkboards!” she spat with venom. “Six hours of beautiful work, ruined!” “Dinky only told on you because you were throwing things at Applebloom again!” objected Rumble as he stood by his hurt friend. “Did she ask for your opinion, tiny?” threatened the gray earth filly. “N-n-no,” he balked, backing away. “This has nothing to do with you,” I thought. “Move on and get out of town.” Diamond Tiara glared over at Dinky. “Maybe next time, you’ll think before you go trying to be a tough? After all, it doesn’t suit you.” Tiara then laughed snidely. “I mean, a unicorn who can’t even lift a piece of paper? How pathetic.” Dinky looked like on the verge of tears, but was putting on a brave face in defiance. “My- my magic is getting stronger! I’m just not old enough yet to-” “Oh please, it's obvious to everypony just how lame you are,” touted Diamond Tiara. “Yeah, even Snips and Snails can levitate their pencils. You can’t even do that!” insulted the gray earth filly. “I-” Dinky tried to interject. “Exactly, and if those two losers can do it and you can’t that makes you even worse than a loser: a worthless pinhead,” continued Diamond Tiara. “Do. Not. Get. Involved,” I repeated to myself. My mind flashed back to when I was younger. Called a freak and getting into fights because of childish drama. I squashed those feelings. I needed to leave. “Of course, it does make sense that you’re a failure of a unicorn. After all, your mom is also a worthless pegasus who can’t even fly right or see straight with those stupid eyes of hers, it only makes sense that you can’t do magic properly. A family of idiots.” “Don’t you make fun of my mommy!” cried Dinky and ignoring her injured leg, charged Diamond Tiara who easily blocked her attack and knocked Dinky back with her forehoof. “I’ll do whatever I please, because unlike you, I’m somepony important,” explained Diamond Tiara with a cruel smile. “Just like my daddy is important, not that you would understand anyway. From what I heard, not even your dumb mother knows who your father is.” I remember hearing the sound of footsteps. “Not that I can blame him for wanting to have nothing to do with a pair of losers like you.” I remember hearing a gasp come from both Rumble and Dinky, but it wasn’t at Diamond Tiara’s remark. “Di-d-diamond … !” stuttered the grey earth filly looking upward. “Silver, don’t interrupt me, I’m busy teaching this idiot her … place?” Diamond Tiara chided her cohort before looking behind herself and barely squeaked out the rest of her sentence. Behind her stood a tall, imposing figure looming over all of them. It was myself, glaring right into Diamond Tiara’s now quivering eyes. I was filled with fury, a feeling that I don’t have often. I got down on one knee and slowly learned towards Diamond Tiara, her legs giving out in fear. No one has any right to treat anyone with such malice. You couldn’t reason with people who were like that, you could only bring something upon them. Something so profound that it would have to be huge to affect them. So I gazed into Diamond Tiara’s frightened eyes, and slowly lifted one of my hands up. She whimpered in fear as I held my hand high, afraid of her retribution coming for her. And with a swift motion, my arm swung down and my hand flew towards her face. And then I softly booped her nose, complete with sound effect. “No. Bad filly,” I scolded Diamond Tiara as she stood as rigid as a stone wall, “you do not say mean things to others!” I picked up the small filly, who only emitted a soft squeak as I turned her to face Dinky. Giving Diamond Tiara a small nudge, she stumbled right in front of Dinky and looked back at me both confused and terrified. “Go on,” I urged her, “say you’re sorry.” Diamond Tiara looked back and forth between both myself and Dinky, as if her brain was trying to comprehend what I just asked her to do. I gave a stern, attention grabbing cough that snapped her out of it and she softly mumbled something towards Dinky. “Louder.” Diamond Tiara jumped at the sound of my voice. “I’m … sorry. For … stuff,” she forced out. “Mean it,” I emphasized as I leaned toward the enfeebled bully. “I’m sorry!” Diamond Tiara nearly shouted. “For?” I said in a questioning tone, and Diamond Tiara looked like she was struggling. Her brain was probably trying to still figure out why I was demanding her to do this, but her fear of whatever she thought I was was keeping her from using any cognitive processes whatsoever. “For … for taking your doll,” Diamond Tiara said, as she let the doll slide off her back and onto the ground. “And?” “And for calling you a loser,” she added before looking back at me, hoping that what she had said satisfied whatever terrifying creature stood before her. “Continue,” I ordered as I looked back at her. “And for calling you worthless … and for calling your Mom a screw-up, and teasing you about your dad,” Diamond Tiara cried in a pleading tone, hoping that if she just started fessing up to everything, it would help her, “and calling you a pinhead, and hitting you, and throwing things at Applebloom, and cheating on last week’s test, and stealing Silver Spoon’s chocolate pudding!” “Hey!” shouted Silver Spoon. “You told me a Diamond Dog snatched it!” “I was hungry-y-y-y!” Diamond Tiara sobbed as tears began to pour down her face. I figured that was enough emotional trauma for the day, so I stood up and pointed in a random direction. “Good! Now go home, the both of you, and think about how you should be treating your peers in the future. With respect,” I stated and then both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon bolted for the hills. As they rounded the corner of a building I turned back to a stunned Dinky and Rumble, who looked completely flummoxed. Slowly, I walked over to the doll laying on the ground and picked it up. Dinky’s eyes followed the movement of her possession as I brought it over to her and set it on her back. I patted her on the head and gave her a warm smile saying, “Sorry, ‘bout that. Hope I didn’t scare ya, little one.” She slowly shook her head no, still looking at me with a shell-shocked expression on her face. I gave her another smile and turned to leave, giving them both of them one last wave goodbye. I dashed away towards the river and in the back of my head, I was wondering just how long they were going to stand there in shock. It was an amusing thought. My previous guesswork turned out to be true, as when I rounded the corner of a house I came to a large river that separated the town proper and a field that had a large forest on the other side. Not too far down the river was a bridge as well, and just like Twilight had said, there stood six guards waiting to catch the supposed Element Thief. They all looked awake and alert, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice, and ready to put up one hell of a fight as well. I rummaged through my bag to take inventory of what I had to use: a Tome of Knowledge (which was currently broken); a bottle of spiced Cuban rum (which thankfully wasn’t broken due to excellent craftsmanship); two granola bars; some crystal dust. I was completely out of crystals, my one ace in the hole against these ponies and I was empty on firepower. Any spells I cast would be considerably less powerful and not as useful in a combat situation. I pulled out one of the granola bars and munched on it while I brainstormed some ideas. I could try drawing the guards away with an illusionary construct like I did to the guards in Canterlot, but I was in much better shape then; plus my mana wasn’t nearly as drained as it was right now. I could try swimming, but with those guards also watching the river I’d be spotted in a second. I then thought maybe I could disguise myself as a harmless salesperson who is selling some fine leather jackets … . I was pulled out of my musing, however, when I heard the most peculiar sound: music. I peeked around the corner again and saw the guards, who now had their full attention on a singing, dancing, and juggling pink mare. I realised it must have been Pinkie Pie, one of Twilight Sparkle’s other friends who was known for her boundless exuberance and party planning skills. At the moment she was currently entertaining the guards with a musical number about ‘new friends’ and ‘getting along’. Why she was doing such a thing was beyond me, but what I did know was what she was providing me with: a distraction. The guards were so focused on the pink pony’s performance that none of them were even paying attention to the river. Not wasting the opportunity that had been given to me, I sprinted toward the riverside and hid behind a large rock at the shoreline. I peeked over my stony hiding spot to see the guards still distracted by Pinkie Pie’s song, which was now describing all the ways you could make chocolate desserts with new friends. I took a closer look at the river and tried to find the easiest and quietest way of crossing. The river looked to be rather shallow for the most part. I could probably wade through the whole thing on to the other side. However, the water was moving at a good pace. I would have to have some firm footing, otherwise I might slip and draw attention to myself with lots of accidental splashing. It sounded like Pinkie’s song was nearing its end, so I slid as silently into the water as I could. I held back yelping as the water rose above my waist as it was ice cold and not the least bit inviting. I crouched down till nearly my entire head was engulfed by the river and slowly made my way across. I could hear Pinkie’s song reaching its conclusion, but I was only halfway across the river with no form of cover to hide me. My eyes on the only guard I could see, I moved through the water as quickly as I could without generating any noise that might alter the normal sounds of the flowing stream. Until my foot slipped on a rock causing me to tumble and become totally submerged. I held my breath underwater and looked up, hoping none of the guards had heard me. Though it was hard to tell being underwater, it seemed that none of them had turned in my direction. I found my footing again and slowly poked my head above the water. The guard had indeed not looked this way yet, and I was nearing the far shoreline. Once I got on land again I would have to make a beeline for the forest, as there was no cover from the river to the forest’s edge. Cautiously I left the river, as I trudged onto the shoreline. My clothes were absolutely drenched, as the wards I placed on them that made them waterproof broke when Twilight was throwing me around. I took one last look at the guards, who were all now facing away from me, and bolted for the forest. My heart was racing, my feet were pounding on the ground, and my breath was rapid as I sprinted across the field and past the forest’s edge. Like crossing a finish line, my sprint winded down into a walk and then a full stop, gasping for my breath. I turned back to the bridge and saw that the guards were still standing at attention guarding it. I did it! I escaped the law once again! Inwardly cheering, I congratulated myself on another job well done. I thought that maybe when I get home I should find someway to capitalize on my skills for escaping life or death situations. However, at the moment I was tired, exhausted, hungry, and most of all heading into a supposedly dangerous and deadly forest with creatures that could flay me alive. So putting one soggy boot in front of the other, I ventured along the edge of the Everfree Forest. Journeying through the woods wasn’t too difficult. The thick foliage did block out most of the sunlight, giving the forest a dim and slightly spooky feel. Sounds of the creatures which inhabited the forest came from all directions. Hoots and howls of both predators and prey as they were either hunting or fleeing from those which hunted them. As I walked, the sounds became less frequent, either a sign I was getting to a part of the forest which nothing ventures into (for reasons which I didn’t care to think about or instill me with much confidence) or that I was getting closer to a larger civilization. I thought on my current plan of action: I had to either find a way to fix Tome, find an alternate means of getting back home, or find the real thief and prove my innocence. I spent most of my traveling time thinking about these options and munching my last granola bar. I then decided the real first thing I’d have to do would be to find some decent travel food. That, or kill something in the woods and eat it, but the idea of hydras, manticores, and dragons being my opponents didn’t fill me with much confidence though. I still had the the edge of the forest within my line of sight, so if I needed to bolt out into the open, I could make it in a dead sprint. Suddenly, all the animalistic noises ceased; the only sound I heard were my own footfalls. I had no plans to be another creature’s meal, so I kept my guard up for any incoming attackers. I kept moving through the forest, listening for any telltale signs that something was either following me or thinking about ambushing me. Suddenly from behind I heard the snap of a branch, and I spun around to see what it was. From out of the brush burst a pegasus, flying straight at me like a bullet. Swiftly I dodged to the side as it swiped at me with a dagger it had in it’s mouth. The pegasus on closer inspection was female, and deadly serious if the expression on her face was any indication. Maybe she was hired to track me down? Or maybe she was having doubts about attacking a strange and devilishly handsome creature? My pegasus assailant came around for another pass, but this time I was prepared as I lobbed a fireball right at her face and- ----- “Alright, that is the biggest pile of horseapples I’ve ever heard!” interrupted an annoyed mare. “What do you mean? I’m just telling you what hap-” “Like Tartarus you did!” denounced the aggravated mare. “In case you’re forgetting, I was your ‘pegasus attacker,’ remember?” “Oh … right,” admitted the Mage as he slumped back against the bars of the small cage he was residing within. “And we did not have some dramatic battle,” she continued ranting, “you were distracted by a squirrel or something, and I knocked you on the back of your head with a blackjack, and you went down like a sack of potatoes!” “Well yeah, but my version sounds much cooler, doesn't it?” asked the Mage with a hopeful grin. “No, it doesn’t. Honestly, you are a terrible liar. In fact, I’m wondering just how much of it was made up now,” wondered the pegasus incredulously as she leered at the mage in his cage. “All of it was true! Honest!” pleaded the Mage to his captor. “Okay, maybe I may have ‘enhanced’ the stuff at the end there to make it sound a little more interesting, but the rest is 100% truth, I swear!” The pegasus mare looked at the Mage like she couldn’t believe he was serious. “So um, now that I told you the truth, you’ll let me go, right?” The pegasus looked at him flatly before she responded with a, “No.” “What!?” exclaimed the Mage. “You told me that if I explained the whole situation you’d let me go!” “I said I might let you go, idiot,” chided the mare. “But... but why?” “Well one, your story sounds like something out of a bad storybook: Escaping Canterlot on high alert? Fighting a Princess of Equestria and 'winning'? And that sob story with the foals and you standing up to bullies?” argued the Mage’s captor. “I swear those all happened, well, maybe it wasn't as fantastical, but its all factually correct!,” affirmed the Mage as he rattled the bars of his tiny cage. “And what could be more important than the truth?” The mare turned around and smirked. “Well that’s two: the price they put on your head just today does,” she said, pulling a slip of paper out of one of her pockets as she tossed it over to the Mage. It was a wanted poster, similar to the one that he found in Canterlot, only now with a hefty bounty reward at the bottom. “One million!?” exclaimed an astonished Mage. “The first one I saw didn’t even have a price!” “That was the basic, ‘we want info’ poster,” explained the mare. “However. if you really did piss off Princess Twilight like you said, that would explain the bounty. Attacking royals... you sure have a pair, don’t ya?” “I wasn’t ‘attacking’ anyone,” the Mage groused gruffly. “I was trying to prove my innocence.” “Well then, you should have plenty of time to do that,” said the mare as she hooked herself back up to the cart carrying the cage the Mage was trapped in. “In a short while we'll be back near Ponyville, and you can explain your case to the guards themselves.” “You were planning on turning me in no matter what, weren’t you?” sneered the Mage. “Pretty much.” “Then why did you even have me tell you all of that!?” shouted the Mage in indignation. “I needed a break. Hauling your fat butt in that cage is heavy work, and I’m definitely not an Earth pony,” joked the mercenary mare. “I am not fat,” asserted the Mage. The pegasus only chuckled at his response and continued to haul the mage away. The cart rumbled as it went over the branches and dirt on the worn trail leading back to civilization, every so often a bump jostled the cart causing the Mage to hit his head on the roof of his tiny confined space. “Your cage is just too damn small.”