As I ran through the trees, I began to feel somewhat uneasy. It was as if someone was... watching me? I stopped and looked around. I didn't see anyone. Now tired from running, I started walking at a slower pace. All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie darted in front of me from behind one of the trees.
"GAH!" I shouted, jumping about three feet in the air.
"Hi!" said the very bubblegum-colored pony. "I forgot to ask you, what's your name?"
"Oh. Uh, I'm George. George Trestale."
"Great! Now I know what to put on the banner! 'Welcome to Ponyville, George Trestale the Human'!" She produced a notebook and wrote something on it.
Great, just like Applejack said, she's going to announce to the whole town I was here. I needed to escape fast.
"That's great, Pinkie. Look, I'll see you there. I just gotta run some... errands first."
"Okie-dokie-lokie! Just remember, the party's in half an hour, at Sugarcube Corner!" She ran back behind one of the trees. When I looked behind it, she wasn't there. I questioned my sanity for a brief moment, but continued on.
A little under half an hour later, I was no longer in the apple orchards, but now at the entrance to a large forest. A perfect place to hide. I looked at my wrist to check the time, but then suddenly remembered I don't have a watch. I prepared to enter the forest, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"AGH!" I jumped and did a quick 180 in midair, only to see it was just Pinkie Pie again.
"God, Pinkie, quit doing that!" I clutched my chest, breathing heavily.
"Oh, sorry! I just wanted to let you know your party's about to start! Everypony's already gathered at Sugarcube Corner!"
"Look, Pinkie. I can't come, alright? I'm a human. Those ponies will probably crucify me if I'm seen."
"Oh, you'll be fine! You managed to make friends with Dashie and Applejack, remember?"
"I wouldn't really say we became fr-"
"Come oooon!" She looked up at me with huge, watery eyes that would put a puppy to shame.
"Well, on second thought, I guess I could- Hey, there's a cake behind you!"
"What? A cake on the ground!?" She turned around, which I quickly took as an opportunity to dash into the forest. I didn't see her turn back to me, but I kept running until I couldn't see outside the forest anymore. I walked into a circle of trees and sat down.
"Phew," I said. "That was close."
I suddenly heard a rustling from one of the bushes.
"What the-"
Pinkie suddenly leaped out from behind the bush.
"Hi again!"
"AGH! Jeez, Pinkie! How the hell did you find me?!"
"Well, we were right on the edge of the forest, silly! Where else would you have gone?"
"...Oh. Okay, fair point."
"Now come on! If we get back soon, there'll still be time for party games!" She started trotting off.
Ugh, I need to put a stop to this. I stood up and called out to her.
"Pinkie!"
She stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
"Pinkie, I told you I can't go to your party."
"But you're a human! The first human in Ponyville in so long! What good will a welcoming party be if the guy I'm welcoming isn't there?"
She looked sad again. I needed to think of something... Aha, I got it.
"Pinkie, listen. I can't come to this party-"
Her face drooped.
"-But I promise I'll come to another one of your parties later on."
"But why cant you come to this one?!"
"Pinkie, I told you. Humans aren't allowed in Equestria, remember? I need to clear things up with me and the princess if I want to go. I mean, it wouldn't be a very good party if I got arrested in the middle of it, right?"
"Aww..." Her mane drooped this time.
"Hmm... Alright. Pinkie Pie, I promise that I will go talk to Princess Celestia and try to clear things up, alright? Then, you can throw me the biggest party you want to."
"...Pinkie promise?"
"Yeah, sure. Pinkie promise."
She suddenly lit up again. "Alright! You go talk to the Princess, and I'll go make even more preparations for what could be my biggest party yet! Bye!" She zoomed off.
"Huh, that was easier than I thought it would be."
I didn't really have any intention of talking to Princess Celestia, of course. At least, not yet. I'd feel bad if I didn't eventually do it, but for now I can't imagine it being my best option. Now that I finally have some time to think things over, I need to seriously consider where I'm going from here. I'd love to find this "Anthropia", but that in and of itself is probably a lost cause. However, as I thought some more, the futility of my situation started to dawn on me.
"Aaaagh! Goddammit! What the hell am I supposed to do?!" I couldn't think of a single plan that had any likelihood of not landing me either in a prison or a grave. My situation is completely fucked as far as I can tell. I decided to go for a walk to see if that helped me think. While walking, I mulled over all the aspects of my current situation. First, humans are banned from Equestria. That's bad. Second, I have some pretty nice powers...
Wait, of course! Why didn't I think of this before? It must have been me that caused myself to teleport outside of that dungeon. Maybe I can try that again? Because that skill would be exceedingly useful. But just how was I supposed to practice that?
After reaching an edge of the forest, I began trying to concentrate on the area a few feet in front of me, while trying to will myself there. I snapped my fingers for added effect, but nothing happened.
"Hmm..." I tried to think of what I was doing when I first teleported. I was ranting at Celestia, and then I waved my arm to the right. I was focusing on the subject of leaving the dungeon while doing so, which means...
Aha, that must be it! While concentrating on the area in front of me, I waved my arm to the right... And suddenly, I appeared two feet behind me.
"Wh- Okay, that's something, I guess." I tried again, this time I teleported about five feet in the air. I fell on my face and pushed myself up again.
"Come on, go where I want me to!" I tried one more time, this time focusing outside the forest... and I found myself in a tree.
"Oh, come on..." I prepared to try again, but the branch under me broke and I fell to the ground.
I pushed myself up, and considered everything that just happened. Okay, so it seems I can teleport at will, but only in some small radius around me, and I can't choose where I teleport to. Real useful.
I walked back into the forest. It was getting dark, and all that teleporting made me tired. I gathered some wood I found scattered on the ground and made a campfire, of sorts. Lying down next to it, I gradually fell asleep while the sound of hoofsteps made itself known.