• Published 28th Nov 2015
  • 11,754 Views, 446 Comments

George Trestale, God of... Something - DrOcsid



Equestria has a new problem - that is, they have to deal with yet another human, and this one's been bestowed with godlike powers that don't even work properly. That, and amnesia. Probably not a good combination.

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Skyfall

Have you ever seen clouds from the top? Perhaps from flying in an airplane, or doing some particularly intensive mountain climbing? Well, I have to tell you, it's a pretty sight. Of course, as luck would have it, I didn't find this out from either of those scenarios. As much as I'd like to say I did, I instead found it out by falling from the sky.

I'll admit, seeing the ground rushing towards me like that didn't quite strike me with fear at first. More just confusion, really. If there was anything I'd be thankful for, it's that I was falling from high enough up that I somehow managed to go through all five stages of grief before I was united with the dirt. What are they, again? Denial, anger...

I'm getting distracted. The general idea is, I was falling. Fast. And then I hit the ground, just like that. Face-down, on my stomach, one leg sticking up in the air like a gymnast who had just failed a stunt. And I felt every little agonizing aspect of it. So, as you might expect, I wasn't in the best of moods at the time. In fact, my first words after hitting the ground went like this.

"Uuuuugh... fuff." I tried to curse the earth that had just rearranged my face, but said face being shoved into the ground along with me having next to no remaining teeth kinda put a downer on that. After a short time of contemplating my situation, I eventually elected to try and get up. However, I stopped on account of the realization that I was in the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

The pain rendering me entirely immobile, I was stuck there screaming for about five seconds while my insides repaired themselves of the immense amounts of damage that had been caused. Looking back on it now, it wasn't quite as bad as I had thought, but at the time I had absolutely no idea what in god's name was going on inside me, so you're gonna have to forgive me if I overreacted a bit.

After that little episode finally ended, my main expectation was that my consciousness would slip away until I just didn't feel anything anymore. Perhaps I'd meet a talking skeleton letting me know which region of the afterlife I'd be admitted into.

So, is this heaven? Or maybe hell? God, I hope it's the former. In the middle of my contemplating the existence of an afterlife, I felt a slight nudge on the side of my head.

Alright, time to see what's up. I slowly lifted my head off the ground, or rather, out of it.

Okay, that's a mass of multicolored blur if I've ever seen one. Looking directly under my face, there was a pair of glasses lying on the ground. They were pretty bent out of shape, with one lens cracked and a nosepiece missing. I suppose those are mine, then. I put them on after straightening them out a bit, and slowly got up, still aching in pretty much every part of my body.

Let's just say that what I saw when I got up wasn't even close to what I expected. Not to say I had any idea what to expect, but I had the lingering feeling that it wasn't this. All around me were a collection of... horses, I guess, of various colors.

Oh, wait, I thought. These are ponies, aren't they?

Alright, that's good, I have a bit of a grip on the situation. What is it ponies do, again? They can talk, right? I think I know that much. I guess I should probably say something, try to garner some kind of reaction.

I cleared my throat for a moment, then said the first thing that popped into my mind. "Okay, what the hell is going on here?"

That one sentence seemed to get a bit of reaction from the crowd, some giving me rather weird looks. One smaller horse asked another what "hell" meant, promptly followed by a shush from the other. It was at this point that I decided I should probably do something in hopes that I could, you know, act normal. So, I stood up, brushed myself off, and introduced myself.

"No response, huh? Alright, well, maybe I should introduce myself. My name is..."

Finally, it hit me like a train on rollerskates. I didn't know my name. For that matter, I didn't seem to know anything regarding myself. Hell, now that I think about it, where even was I before this? What was I doing? Why am I dressed in a suit and tie?

This is confusing, to say the least, but I need to stay calm. Just go with the flow. The show must go on, and all that jazz. In a hurry, I quickly came up with a name to introduce myself with.

"My name is... uh, let's go with, say, George, and as for the last name, let's say, Test, no, Tes... no, Tres... tale." Clearly, my quick name-making skills are unmatched. "Yeah, my name's George Trestale, and I come in peace! Probably! You guys know what that phrase means, right?" No response came, just silence.

"Anyone? Are you telling me none of you have ever heard that phrase before?" By this point I had ran out of things to say, and they were still just staring at me.

"Do any of you even understand what I'm saying?"

Now, that seems like a pretty simple question, right? A simple, easy to answer question that any one of those guys could have easily responded to. But no, no, they had to make things as difficult as possible. See, after asking this question, the crowd of ponies, rather than answering, simply started backing away.

"Hey, hold on! I just want to know where I am!" That caused a few to run away. Still not a single actual word in reply.

"Alright, fine. I'll figure this out myself."

Looking at my surroundings, the first thing that caught my eye was the me-shaped crater where I was standing. So that's what that feels like. I feel bad for a lot of cartoon characters now.

Oh, there it is! Something else I know about! Cartoons! They have those in newspapers and such.

Out of all the scenery that surrounded me, the main background element that caught my attention the most was the huge castle in the distance. I'd wager that if there was anywhere I was going to get some answers regarding where I am, it's there.

I'd also wager that I'm not going to get anywhere standing in this spot. So, I started towards the castle. Immediately upon doing so, the crowd of equines shifted to the sides forming a clear path between them. Works for me.

If anything, it was a remarkably nice walk to the castle. I learned all sorts of things about this town, the most intriguing perhaps being that this town was literally jutting out of the side of a mountain. What a strange architectural choice. But, of course, I wasn't really in a position to question them, not knowing where I was and all. I passed by quite a few ponies, attracting quite a few stares. One of them flew over my head towards the castle, for whatever reason.

Along the way, my mind drifted back to my memory loss. What exactly did I remember? I took a look around the place. I realized that I had recognized the concepts of horses and castles, so I at least had some knowledge of basic world concepts. Talking ponies, unicorns and pegasi... Yeah, seems to be pretty normal stuff to me. I just didn't seem to remember anything about, well, me. I'm not a pony, I knew that much. I... What even am I?

I looked down at my hands for a moment. Hands... Oh! Right. I'm a human. A person. Alright, we're getting somewhere. Now, why was I the only human in a land of ponies? Were there more humans anywhere? Judging from their reactions, probably not around this area, at least. Let's see, I have a full understanding of Ponish, and... there it is again. I know this language is called Ponish. Is my amnesia simply restricted to memories pertaining to myself?

About thirty minutes of pondering had passed by the time the castle's front doors came into view. From this point, several things happened. The first thing was the two guards in front of the castle spotting me. Not a huge problem, I figured, until they both started running straight towards me. With big sharp pointy sticks. That's a slightly bigger problem.

Being the coward I am, I promptly braced myself for impact, only to find myself lifted off the ground. I opened my eyes to see myself encased in... a purple bubble, I guess? I looked down to see what was going on, and what I saw only left me with more questions than I had before. Why is there a purple unicorn here? With wings? Er, rather, an alicorn? Why did those guards just suddenly stop? Why am I in a magic bubble? Should I ask them any of these questions? For god's sake, do any of them even speak Ponish?!

Wait, yeah, they do. They're ponies. Ponish. I get it.

"It's alright, I've got him," said the alicorn, giving me a rather suspicious look.

"Princess Sparkle, with all due respect, this is a human! We must take him into custody!"

"That's fine," said this 'Princess Sparkle'. "I'll bring him to Princess Celestia personally." Princess Sparkle? I think my ears are oozing with bubblegum. Why is that a name?

"V-Very well, Princess." The two guards stepped aside, still eyeing me with some form of unease.

It was a surprisingly long walk inside the castle. Evidently, castles are big. I'm pretty sure I knew that already, though. What caught more of my attention was that I didn't know who this "Princess Sparkle" was. She's a princess, right? If I'm part of this land, I should probably know who its rulers are.

After a while of walking down some long-ass hallway, I was starting to get fairly bored with being pulled along with no control over my position spatially. So, as this "Princess Sparkle" walked, I figured I'd do the best thing possible in this situation. Make small talk.

"So... you're a princess?" I asked, attempting to look at her with the weird angle I was floating in.

"Yes. I'm bringing you to Princess Celestia to see what she can do about you."

"So there's two princesses, huh? Three? Maybe four?"

The unicorn sighed with some clear annoyance in her voice. "Yes, actually. As of now there are four Equestrian princesses: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and me, Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Yep, that confirms it. I don't know a single of these names. That gives me two possibilities. Either I'm from some other region, or my amnesia is just really selective. Hell, it could be both. I don't know.

"Well, that's neat. See, we're already getting to know each other well. I'm George Trestale. Tentative title, but whatever. Nice to meet you, Twilight."

"I'd like to say it's nice to meet you, too, George, but, you being a human, I quite frankly don't know what to think of you just yet."

So I'm not the only one. That's good to know, at least. "Well, me being a human doesn't make me a bad person, does it?"

"Of course not, but given that you were just wandering around Canterlot, a place where you aren't really allowed to be, you'll have to forgive me if I'm being too cautious."

"Alright, alright, I guess that's fair enough. So, we're going to see this 'Celestia', huh?"

"Yes. I'd appreciate it if you would refer to Princess Celestia by her proper title, by the way."

"Oh, well, that's a shame. So, anyway, Twilight, what's the current situation here? What did I do to get stuck in this bubble thing?"

"You do know humans aren't allowed in Equestria, right?"

Humans not allowed here? Why the hell am I here, then? "Is that a fact? I actually had no idea. Sorry, I'm having some issues remembering... a lot of things at the moment."

"Memory problems?"

"Yeah. Aside from falling out of the sky, and everything that happened after that, I'm drawing a complete blank."

Twilight stared at me for a good few seconds, then continued looking forward. "If you're telling the truth... Well, good luck with explaining that."

I wanted to give some sort of snarky reply to this, but given my situation, I ultimately decided against it. I didn't bother to say another word until we got to the throne room.