//------------------------------//
// Two's a Crowd 
// Story: George Trestale, God of... Something 
// by DrOcsid 
//------------------------------//

Now at a standoff of sorts with an entire crowd of ponies, I attempted to sort of slink away subtly. Unfortunately, this attempt was not particularly effective, as the crowd began advancing on me. Quickly disregarding my previous plan, I ran down the street, the crowd now chasing after me at the same speed. Faster, actually. As they gained on me, I turned a corner and was suddenly surrounded by a green aura.

"Quick, in here!" whispered a voice, as I was swiftly pulled into the alley.

I watched outside as the crowd of ponies ran by. Wow, that really does work. Huh.

The aura dissipated as I fell to my feet. Wait, who pulled me in here? I turned around and was met with a pony with a coat color comparable to mint-flavored gum, wearing a hood and some saddlebags.

"What do you think you're doing, setting fire to ponies' houses?" The feminine-sounding pony pulled her hood off her head, revealing a similarly-colored mane, striped with white, along with a unicorn horn. "Do you want to get thrown in a cell, or something?"

"Er, good question," I said. "I've got a follow-up, though. Several, actually. The most important one would probably be 'Who are you?'."

Suddenly, her demeanor changed, and she grinned. "I'm Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, then. I'm-"

"George Trestale?" She cut me off, still grinning. "Yep, I've heard of you. You really gave Princess Celestia the slip!"

A dumb grin came across my face. Cool, I'm famous now!

"Yes, indeed!" I struck a heroic pose. "I, George Trestale, escaped from the clutches of the dastardly Celestia and her entire Royal Guard! It is nice to meet you on this fine day, fair maiden!"

She looked slightly weirded out at this. Okay, maybe I should reserve that for whenever I feel like dying of embarassment.

"Uh... yeah. So, anyway, care to explain why you set that pony's house on fire?"

"...It was an accident."

She kept looking at me with a somewhat unimpressed look on her face. "How, exactly, did you set his house on fire on accident?"

"There was a lot of alcohol involved. And, I mean, I did put the fire out afterwards, so it's fine."

She put her hoof to her forehead. "Alright, whatever. It's none of my business anyway."

"Can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you save me from that angry mob of death and stuff?"

"Oh! Well..." She broke eye contact with me and started dragging one of her front hooves in the dirt. "I kinda have a little... fascination with humans. A little curiosity, nothing more. I've been following your little adventure ever since Pinkie put that banner up welcoming a 'George Trestale the Human' to Ponyville."

"Following it? As in, you were stalking me?"

"Well..." She smiled a certain kind of "I've been found out" smile. "Well, I was planning on coming to Appleloosa anyway. I mean, really, I wouldn't call it 'stalking' as much as I'd call it 'following you, watching you from afar and rehearsing a few conversation topics in my head'."

I rolled my eyes. "Yep, a real important distinction to make."

She looked at me accusingly. "Look, it's not like I have anything better to do! And hey, you just set a pony's house on fire!"

"It was an accident!"

A little staring-standoff emerged at this point, lasting about five seconds before someone said something.

"So..." she said, "Anyway, I've got lots of questions to ask you!"

"And I've got lots of ponies looking to... I don't know, lynch me, or something. Can't they wait?"

"Nope! Now, first question. What currency do you use in Anthropia?"

"Currency?! I don't fuckin' know, as far as I'm concerned, I've never even been there!"

"Well, you don't have to swear... Wait, did you say you've never been there?"

I pointed to my head. "Memory issues. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Well, I'd rather you did."

"Euuuuugh... fine. I showed up in Canterlot almost a week ago, with no memory whatsoever of anything at all, including who the hell I am, so I've been trying to find some answers as to what the hell's going on with me."

"You don't remember anything at all?"

"Not remotely."

"Then how do you know your name?"

"I don't. I made it up on the spot after I went and fell out of the sky."

"...You did what?"

"Yeah, hence why I didn't want to talk about it."

She looked awfully skeptical at this. Not too surprising.

"So," I said, breaking the silence. "Can I go now?"

"Wait! If you don't remember anything, where are you going?"

"I'm looking for answers as to who I am and stuff. Anthropia might hold said answers."

"You're going to Anthropia?! That's... wait, how do you know how to get there?"

"I... can sense where it is. With human magic and stuff."

She didn't look convinced.

"Alright, fine." I took out the map. "This is a map to Anthropia. I got it a few days ago, and I've been following the train tracks towards there since."

Her expression suddenly changed to surprise. She ran up to me to get a better look. "A map to Anthropia?! How in Equestria did you get ahold of something like that?"

"I got lucky. Why do you care so much?"

"Well, I've been interested in taking an... educational visit to the place."

"Educational? Really?"

"Hey, everyone has their curiosities!" She looked down at the ground. "I just never managed to figure out where it is."

"Wouldn't that be, you know, kinda dangerous? I mean, according to what I've heard, they don't seem like a very nice group of people."

"Well, yeah, that's what they say. But I'm convinced they just misunderstand us. Maybe I could help usher in a new era of peace between Humans and ponies!"

I laughed a little. What an idea. "Well, that would certainly help me out a bit. But for now, I gotta get going. Can't stick around and risk getting into more trouble."

"Wait!" I had almost managed to turn around when she stopped me. "You're the only one I know who knows how to get to Anthropia! Do you know what that means?"

"It's Taco Tuesday?"

"No! It means you have to take me with you! Pleeeeeease!"

Normally, I'd say no, but two factors are registering in my favor here. One is that those saddlebags she's wearing could carry food. Not that I'll likely need it, but it would be nice to have. Another is that I've been pretty lonely these last few days. What harm could one companion bring?

"Well... alright. But on one condition."

She looked happy for a second, but stopped in skepticism. "What is it?"

"Bring me some food. I could eat, like, seven whales right now." 

~Half an Hour Later~

Having made a decent distance from the town, I was now waiting for Lyra to finish gathering supplies and get back to me.

Out of boredom, I went over everything that had happened in my head while staring at the night sky. I found the whole train escapade to be the most exciting part. Minus the "being smacked into the roof of a tunnel" thing.

What an interesting five days to have. I wonder what's in store for me next. I sincerely hope it involves finding out who I am. Yeah, that would be awfully nice.

After considering this for a while, I spotted Lyra walking towards me from the distance.

"You ready?" I asked when she got to me.

"Yep! I've got all the things you mentioned, except for... most of it."

"And why is that?"

"Ponies aren't meat-eaters," She said. "We don't exactly have stockpiles of 'chicken nuggets' and 'steak'."

"Well, in that case, what did you get instead?"

"Well, I got some celery, broccoli, carrots, apples..."

"Right, so, horse food."

"Well, we are ponies."

"Yeah. Okay, gimme some... celery, I guess, and we'll start walking."

Lyra levitating some celery out of her bag, I grabbed it out of the air and took the map out of my pocket.

"So," I said, taking a bite of the celery and cringing at the taste. "You followed me this whole time? I never saw you while I was walking."

"Oh, I actually took the train. I saw you were following the tracks and decided you might have been headed there."

I stopped walking. "Ah-ha! Now, I know that's a lie. And you wanna know how I know? Because I have this!" I pulled out the train schedule from before and showed it to her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The only train to this place still hasn't left! Back when I was in Ponyville, there was still a week to go before that little journey started."

"...George, what day do you think it is?"

"July 13th, why?"

Lyra brought her hoof to her face. "You can't be serious... No, it's the 24th of August. What made you think it was July?"

"...Uh, I'm not sure, actually. I guess I just kinda assumed it was that day."

"Well, that explains your confusion, then. This schedule doesn't even say the month it's for, for whatever reason. But the day the train to Appleloosa left was the same day you left Ponyville. I figured you just followed the tracks since it wouldn't be particularly easy for you to get a train ticket."

"Oh. Alright, then. Sorry for accusing you of lying, I guess."

"Well, I don't blame you. Being a human in Equestria, I can't imagine it's easy to find somepony you can trust."

"Yeah. Well, anyway, judging from this map, we're a bit over halfway there. That means maybe around three more days of walking."

"Only three days? That's actually less than I expected."

"Well, I'm only guessing. For all I know, it could be another week."

We continued walking some more, until she asked me a question.

"So, you really can't remember anything about a life before you appeared in Canterlot?"

"Nope."

"Well, you're in pretty formal clothes. Maybe you were a salespony! Er, sales... human?"

"A salesman? I somehow doubt that. By the way, what other food did you get?"

She opened one of her saddlebags and looked inside. "A head of lettuce, a couple potatoes, a can of carrot mush..."

I shuddered at the thought of ever eating carrot mush. "Did you get anything I asked for?"

"Hey, beggars can't be choosers!" she snapped at me. "But... yeah, one thing. I got some rye bread."

"Why the hell am I eating this, then?" I shoved the celery into her bag, grabbed the bread and started eating it like a ravenous dog.

"You just... eat that by itself?" She seemed a bit weirded out by this.

"That's a good question," I replied. "The answer is yes, and don't ask why."

"Why shouldn't I ask why?"

"Because I don't know."