//------------------------------//
// Story of a Madman 
// Story: George Trestale, God of... Something 
// by DrOcsid 
//------------------------------//

"A simple accident." A phrase that carried far more meaning than I had thought.

"Er... alright, could you elaborate on that?"

"Well, as I said, this machine has the purpose of transferring the magical abilities of a unicorn to a human being. As we humans have a very limited array of magical abilities, this was a high-priority project for you. And you wanted it completed fast."

"Why is that? Was I in some kind of hurry?"

"Truthfully, I do not know. However, it took you a total of two years to develop, and even now, it is only in its prototype stages. Who knows what state it is in now, after the accident."

"Alright, can we get to the issue of the accident now?"

"Patience, George. This is needed context."

I crossed my arms. "Oh, fine."

"Now, your initial tests of this machine came up as positive. You had tested it on small animals, ones that would not know how to use said magic abilities just in case something went wrong. Eventually, you brought up the courage to test it on yourself."

"Oh. I think I can see where this is going."

"Perhaps not. You see, it turned out to be a success. You emerged from the machine with the powers of an average unicorn. This significantly boosted your popularity among the citizens. They thought you would be able to give our entire race abilities that would allow them to match up to the ponies, in the event of conflict. But you weren't quite satisfied.

"You see, this machine requires the "magical essence", as you called it, of a unicorn to pass to one subject. This can manifest as any part of a unicorn, but you exclusively used hairs. You even sent some of our royal spies out to the Equestrian towns in an attempt to retrieve them. While they found a few over time, they were not easy to come across. What makes it worse was that after one use of the machine, the hairs were rendered useless."

"So... what did I do to solve this issue?"

"You began wondering what would happen if the hair used was not from a unicorn, but rather, an alicorn."

"...Like Celestia?"

"Celestia, Luna, any alicorn. We all knew how limitless their magic seemed, and you just had to get your hands on it. You sent the spies out again to retrieve at least one lock of their hair. Unfortunately, no attempts were successful. None were able to sneak into the castle from any angle, let alone make an attempt at retrieving any hair."

"So, what did I do, then?"

"You became obsessed. You just had to have a lock of their hair, so you said. It was the key to humanity's future. I was beginning to think you had gone insane."

"...Sheesh. I'd think that too."

"However, you didn't quite go off the deep end for one good reason. You eventually decided on the old adage that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

"At least, along with some help. I convinced Celestia to meet with me in my castle on the basis of 'mending our relations'. During our meeting, you appeared, disguised as an assassin. Pulling out a knife, you took a swipe at Celestia behind her back, aiming only for her hair. But, to the surprise of you and myself, the knife did not cut. It simply pushed the hair out of the way, it shortly returning to its eternal waving state. I must say, I felt quite sorry for you as you stood there while Celestia turned around."

I laughed a little. "Oh god, what did I do to rectify that situation?"

"You looked from her to your knife a few times, and then dropped it while slowly backing away. She then encased you in a bubble. Me and my guards were forced to 'capture' you, and place you in a cell until she left. Not after she voiced her own suspicions that I myself had planned an attack on her, however. I suppose she was right in a way, but I wouldn't say that really counts, you know?" He laughed a little, too.

"Heh, yeah. So, another failed attempt at getting some hair?"

"That's what we thought. However, as I came back to clean up the tea I had brought, I noticed something on her seat. A single long, rainbow colored hair, clearly from her mane."

"Seriously? Did I manage to cut one off after all, then?"

"That's what I had thought, but your examination of it later on revealed that it was a full hair. Perhaps we were simply lucky enough for one to fall off during her visit. Or perhaps it was the stress of the situation. We may never know. Not that you cared."

"Yeah, I was probably awfully excited that I had it in the first place, right?"

"Unhealthily so. Your obsession was not entirely quelled when you finally recieved the hair. You just had to test it, so you called me down to your lab. You were in bad shape, George. You had clearly been up for days. You were shaking at every second, while downing a gulp of coffee at every other. Various puddles of coffee laid on the floor. If you were in your right mind, you would have wiped them up. You were too caught up in what you were doing. I voiced my own concerns, but you were adamant. You had to test it there and now.

"You placed the hair in a compartment on the machine, and went to select a test subject, when an idea crossed your mind. I remember the exact moment your eyes changed. Even I could tell what you were thinking. I told you repeatedly that it was a terrible idea, how dangerous it was, but you didn't care. You were going to test it on yourself. Coffee still in hand, you made a dart for the machine."

"...Oh, jeez."

"You have figured it out, I see. Yes, you slipped on a puddle of coffee, propelling yourself into the machine while your own cup impacted with the control panel. Sparks flying from the machine, it quickly locked you in as you righted yourself inside. You almost panicked, but you suddenly stopped as a disturbingly huge grin formed on your face. You said something I couldn't hear, and then a flash of light filled the room. When I regained my vision, you were gone without one singular trace."

I stood up. "So that's what happened to me? I went insane and tripped into my own machine?!"

A grin formed on his face. "Rather embarassing, isn't it?"

"You have no idea!"

After a brief moment of silence, we both exploded in laughter at the exact same time. I'm still not entirely sure why, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

"Oh god," - I wiped a tear from my eye - "How goddamn anticlimactic."

"Well," said Tetesac, not bothering to wipe his own tears. "That is life."

After a moment of silence, he spoke again.

"I'll leave you to think about the whole thing. Make sure to consider my proposal as well. Take all the time you need, days, even. I can show you where your house is, if need be."

"Oh, sure, that would be great. Just let me sit down for a bit and consider some things."

"Yes, of course."

A moment after he left the room, Lyra walked back in. I sat on a nearby chair.

She walked up to me. "So, did you figure out what happened to you?"

"Yep. Turns out I was a mad scientist."