• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
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OmegaPony11


Writer of fics large and small


T

Celestia left the public eye of Canterlot to be alone with her beloved, Twilight Sparkle. All she ever wanted could finally be hers. Together in love within her sanctuary, Celestia attempts to have a perfect day with Twilight.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 109 )

The result of a challenge brought to you by Vimbert the Unimpressive, editing by Azu_Nyan from the Ponychan Training Grounds. Needless to say, this was... interesting to write.

I hope you... enjoy this? :rainbowhuh:

I don't think "enjoy this" is appropriate. More like "shed manly tears". Liquid pride. Yeah, that's what it is.

Dammit. This is good stuff. :fluttercry:

Good grief. :fluttercry:

This was fucking... the ESSENCE of perceived delusion. I was surprised you managed it to the degree you did. Take my like.

~ Mark

y'know when I start writing something I'm going to come back and look at this as an example of how to put emotion into your writing. It was exceptional.

I was okay until "Cadance thought she saw something in the glass eye of Twilight. Perhaps it was just the moisture, but she could have sworn she saw a single tear."

Please tell me that thing is fully and entirely dead, please. If Twilight is still alive in any sense, then I can only imagine she's crying at Celestia's final abandonment right before Cadance buries her out in the garden where she'll be stuck for all eternity in interminable undeath.:pinkiesick: How does that quote go... "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream?"

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It is. The story makes that 100% clear. I'm sure Cadence is just projecting because of her own grief.

Note: this story is not to be read while listening to Kid A.

Wonderfully written and beautifully heart-wrenching.

Brilliant.

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she could be fully dead, but her spirit be hanging around.

2213560 If Twilight is still alive in that dead body, then she'll hate being left in the dark with the worms for all eternity.:twilightoops:

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Yeah I felt that Twilight's status was very clear until that last bit, which suddenly threw the whole thing up in the air. I'm just hoping for author reassurance so I can avoid lying awake tonight pondering the worst case scenario. :twilightblush:

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That's...almost, but not quite, as bad. As long as she isn't stuck in her own taxidermied corpse, I'll call it a win.

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:twilightoops: I know, right? Poor Twi.

Well, ouch. :unsuresweetie: I'm generally not a fan of immortality stories, but this one did a great job of showing off how begrieved Celestia was. I especially liked the use of Celestia projecting actions onto Twilight (speed-reading the book until a convenient page, casting a barrier which Luna didn't seem to have any trouble dispelling)

My only quibble is that I wasn't a fan of the "Twilight, of course, ____" lines, as they felt a tad blunt and broke the otherwise-delusioned narrator. That said, the last repetition of that line clarified her fate in no uncertain terms, yet still the comment section speculates otherwise, so perhaps that definitive line was a good thing. :rainbowderp:

Nicely done!

"Ooh, a story tagged sad? I have no sadness in me right now so i'll be fine."
...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdu67fBFWd1rvigaw.jpg



Impressive narrative, Author.
Now I need to gouge myself with chocolate...

A bit fast at the end, but this shows itself as legitimately sad and dark.

:fluttershysad::fluttercry::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad:


Great look what you did! You made Fluttershy cry!!!


And me too.

Excellent story you have here. Now leave me... I need to use the bathroom for an hour till I can show myself in public again.

I...

I'm speechless.

This one I liked a lot.
Good job.

This was...
Incredibly disturbing and thought provoking. Very nice indeed, if a little short.

I'm going to have to ask that another, lighter version be written. One in which instead of Twilight being some horrifying doll thing, the immortality spell really did just go wrong and she was put into a magical coma. No? Too much to ask?

Sweet Celestia, that is disturbing.

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Now if I told you that, where would that lovely feeling of dread go?

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You monster.

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I don't like Immortality stories either. They usually become "pity me" stories, and the immortal in question usually never knows what to do with their lives.
As for those lines, they were a thematic choice that lead up to the final line of its kind. This is meant to be from Celestia's perspective, and what she sees to what is real is completely different.

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I didn't want to overstay my welcome.

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I don't think I can manage that. If it were lighter, then most of the theme would likely be lost. I'll give it some thought, but I need a more interesting theme than "love will find a way". It's just not my schtick.


And of course, to the rest, thank you very much for your words. Remember, if you have a simple concept, let me know. I'm in need of a new challenge now.

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Fair enough.
New challenge: Twilight creates a perfect clone of herself, and has a narcissism fetish but is too prudish to admit it.

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I think its been done. Good read, by the by, if you are interested.

Jeez, what the fuck, man? :raritydespair: I didn't intend on stumbling into an emotional landmine just because of the friggin' "Dark" tag, but damn :fluttercry: . Right from the get-go there's this almost nauseating feeling that something is very, very wrong. Kudos for putting together an atmosphere that engrossing, have as many thumbs and favs as possible, yo :twilightsmile: .

As a fan of the weird and the macabre, I salute you. A deliciously dark tale with a creamy center of redemption.

Comment posted by OmegaPony11 deleted Mar 10th, 2013

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I never hold back on my tags, but I do always try to make sure they make sense and go with the theme.

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No worries there, man, it was wonderfully dark :pinkiehappy: . Love fics that surprise the heck out of me :yay: .

Edit: Why the heck doesn't this have more views? Seriously, y'all :flutterrage: .

Oh wow, this story. I don't typically read Dark stories but this was just so well written, good job.

:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::ajsleepy::applecry::raritycry: That was so sad ;n;

But it was brilliant and amazing work ! :moustache:

Gosh, it's annoying with this account being so young, I lost my old accounts UN uggggh


That was a great read. My hoof of approval for this one. :eeyup:
It's one of this stories you know what's going on after the first paragraph but try to deny it for the rest of the story.

Reminded me a little of Heavy Rain.

Reminds me of my own tale, Forever With the One You Love. Why is Twilight always in these sadfic ships?

Comment posted by supercolt1000 deleted Mar 23rd, 2013

The beginning of this story freaked me the buck out as you slowly realize that something is off about the situation. Wow. Nice story. Really sad.

I liked the story. I need comfort food though. So....sad :(

I just cried....:fluttercry:

Read this before EQD:pinkiecrazy:
Congrats on that by the way:pinkiehappy:

Sort of sad that some people seem to have more to say about the cover image rather than the story:pinkiesad2:

Not gonna read it, not gonna read it...
*Read Later'd*
D:yay:mit.

I sense Vimbert working behind this. This is dark, and I like it. So question though, did Twilight die of age/natural causes, then Celestia stuffed her? Or did something else happen.

Also, funny reading EqD comments, how they judge it when they did not read it.

I choked up when I read Cadence saying "Sunshine"... All I could imagine was her whispering it. God damnit, I didn't think anything would be as heart wrenching as "My Little Dashie". Good job. Impeccable work. Now please excuse me while I go bawl for a bit.

Nicely done. I saw the ending coming from the beginning (think Borges might have written something like this, or definitely Lovecraft), but it's effective all the same.

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Pay no attention to the Twilestia shipper behind the curtain.

Man this is sad.:pinkiesad2: good story.

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Which is really funny, because RIGHT before I read this, I just watched Oz, the Great and Powerful.

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