• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Stories about: Feelings too complicated to describe, ponies


The waiter has just made a very funny mistake. See, he thinks Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are all dating, when it's actually just Twilight and Dash. Rarity thinks it's very funny not to correct him. Now how far can she take the joke?

A spiritual sequel to Flimsy Pretexts, written as a response to the effervescent Monochromatic. An effort to close our loop of RariTwi x Dash, then RariDash x Twi - naturally there needed to be a TwiDash x Rarity for balance.

Preread by Pearple Prose and Undome Tinwe

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

Made my own cover art this time. I think it turned out swell.

Glorious. Just glorious.

She astral projected

This goes so hard omg
all the bits keep getting reutilized in an exponentially satisfying mrnumber-y way

shoutout to shorebreak [heart emoji] [heart emoji]

Site Blogger

it gud

this makes me want to mush my cheeks.

kits #7 · Jan 23rd, 2023 · · ·

Forcing rarity to astral project due to your cheesy yet successful pickup lines is a life goal

Sequel or second chapter?

Adorable. Six Seasons and a movie.

Twilight made a clicking noise as she pulled out a pair of wing-guns and fired both-barrels at Rarity. “So, hey, girl.”

Rarity astral projected. Her soul was blown out of her body.

Oh dear, I must recommend this to all my friends now.

Hot dang that is some impressive dialog!

This story feels like it should've given me a tooth ache, but it didn't. It is absolutely wonderful.

Hitting Rarity in her weak spot for massive damage!

I love the writing style in this. It’s refined and elegant in a way only Rarity’s inner thoughts might be. The first half of the story I spent flailing, trying to deduce the meanings and double-meanings and subtle intricacies in the banter, left with only Rarity’s sharp wit and expert judgement as my guide, and yet at the very point where Rarity no longer understands the rules of the game she is playing, the dizzying dance of dialogue suddenly becomes crystal clear. It’s as if the alcohol Rarity drinks has a real, tangible impact on her perception and description of the world. Bravo. An exquisitely crafted work.

(“like epileptic caterpillars” is such a perfect descriptive phrase, I’m stealing that for sure.)

Gavier #17 · Jan 23rd, 2023 · · 2 ·

again Rarity had to confront the sordid reality that she was just a teensy, tiny, itty-bitty bit trashy after all.


Rainbow rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and swept her mane back. Then, sharp as a shot, she cracked off her wing-guns and wiggled her eyebrows like epileptic caterpillars. “Hey, girl.”

Much to her chagrin, and something that she would deny to her deathbed, Rarity blushed just as red as Twilight.


“Rarity thinks she’s a romantic, but she’s a trashy romantic. It’s why her taste in men is so terrible.” Twilight explained, and to Rarity’s horror, she was using her ‘I’m teaching’ voice. Impossible to stop her now. “You’re a jock. Not just because you’re a star athlete, but because you got that whole undeserved ego and confidence attitude to go with it. So normally you’d be a ten out of ten guilty pleasure for her.” [...] So you’re all the spice of a guilty pleasure without any of the guilt. You’re basically the hottest thing she can imagine, except she’d never admit it. You’re like if donuts were good for you.”

Rarity is a hopeless romantic, with a big emphasis on the hopeless, who as an angel does has ascended to the heights of high society, and familiarized herself with all its subtleties. AND YET. Under all the layers, of which she has many, under all the property and effortless, natural perfection. She remains. The very same Small Town Trash Queen she was before even the dream of Canterlot stopped being a dream and became a goal.

Twilight made a clicking noise as she pulled out a pair of wing-guns and fired both-barrels at Rarity. “So, hey, girl.”

Rarity astral projected. Her soul was blown out of her body. She felt like she was looking down at herself from above. It was bad enough that had worked on her the first time, but it was unforgivable that it had worked twice.


Marvellous. I've always been a sucker for character studies, so a three-way (heh heh heh) character study like this is like catnip.

I made it to the end and realized I'd been grinning the whole time.

Marvelous trialogue. Such a good job of shifting who has the upper hoof fluidly and naturally. Twilight's read of Rarity lands so well.

I don't read much romance.

Oh, wait, let me rephrase that.

I didn't read much romance. Now... I'll take twenty of these.

Rarity's soul projection made me laugh out loud on the bus. Good show!

Between this and 'The Elephant In The Relationship', Twilight, Rainbow and Rarity are quickly becoming my OT3 paring. Need MORE of this!

The shipping in this is really excellent, but more importantly, damn I'm hungry after this delicious prose, where do I find good Prench food near me i want whatever Rainbow Dash had

oh celestia do I have plans to make now! 😋

Hopefully you’ve also read flimsy pretexts? Because it’s also amazing.

It's so wonderful to see two of my most favorite authors bouncing off each other.

And this story is just exceptional. Not as many sexual delicacies as Flimsy Pretexts, much to my sinful disappointment. But the flow, the prose and dialogues are just excellent, as expected from MrNumbers. The witty banters, the twists and turns in the hands at play, so to speak, among the three are just so smooth. The double meanings and hidden implications are too rich, I needed to reread the story twice to catch them all. And Shorebreak was just precious.

Not sure if I'd agree that jocks were Rarity's guilty pleasure though, since in the show, she was more for the "elegant" type of stallions and never expressed interest in the athlete type, in fact even dislike sports for being "sweaty". But the thing about her having sweet spot for Dash's ‘knight in armor’ image is so spot on, I'm surprised no RariDash shippers ever thought of it. And of course Twilight's assessment of Dash's soft spot for the ‘feminine’ aesthetics. Wonderful character study. Leave a lot for shippers to think about.

I hope to find a healthy doughnut of my own someday

:rainbowlaugh: I love the way you portray their personalities, and the chemistry, how they just... click, together!

I like how this stayed in the moment and never once let the drama fall to the side.


I read this a while ago, just didn't comment until now. This was really good, and the three girls played off each other well (along with the waiter). I did personally feel like there was an edge of competitiveness that didn't quite feel like it would lead to romance, but it managed to work out in the end.


That's super funny to me, because these are three characters I personally see as being defined by their competitiveness at some level.

Yeah, I can see that. It's not even the first RariDash I've read that references it.

1) How is every line of this fic funnier than the last??? WHY is every line of this fic better than the last?!?
2) This fic single-handedly sold me on Raridash. And I already shipped Raridash.

Login or register to comment