• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
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MrNumbers


Stories about: Feelings too complicated to describe, ponies

Sequels1

T

It's an interesting situation - it's not every day that you get to see the outcome of the road not taken, what might have been. As the married Applejack and Rainbow Dash talk to the dating Applejack and Rarity, they get a bit competitive over who made the better choice.

The other Rainbow Dash and Rarity think it was obviously them.

[A RariDash story that ate what started as a commission for Spamotron]

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

On the origin of this comission:

Many watchers of EQG have observed that Applejack and Rarity’s behavior towards each other doesn’t come across as platonic. When the show was over multiple members of the staff admitted that they wrote the pair as girlfriends and it was Hasbro that wouldn’t let them give more than hints to the relationship. In the finale of FIM Applejack and Rainbow Dash are blatantly portrayed as an old married couple. To my knowledge no fanfic until now has ever explored these two things together.

It seemed to me that comparing and contrasting these two "canon," ships would be fertile ground for stories. MrNumbers did an excellent job at exploring a more comedic angle. If things work out there will be sister fic or two exploring other genres from other authors. So if you enjoyed this keep an eye out.

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This was way less comedic than I originally expected it to be, but honestly I can't pick if the rock-paper-scissors bit or the French toast bit is my favourite joke I've written in months. Genuinely appreciate the prompt.

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I would say it’s a dry comedy. But that’s still comedy.

The Human Applejack and Rarity had been dating for a while, leaving Rainbow Dash to crash and burn through her life as a minor rock star.

Ouch.

“Yeah, that stuff’s why I keep doing it. I’m just not getting bigger than this, you know?” Dash didn’t feel brave enough to face Rarity back, could only stomach a nervous glance at her. “Anything more than this, this stops being fun for me. Like, being more popular than this scares the hell out of me. A crowd I can imagine, a crowd I can think about. But like, my last album sold 40,000 copies. That’s basically nothing, but it’s also like, that’s way too many people thinking about me and knowing I exist, you know?”

Well, at least she's taking it well.
Interesting character study. I've been wondering for a while what would happen if the Mane Six were paired up in different ways on both sides of the portal.

loved this.
Regarding the comedy/not comedy thing, this didn't really feel like a comedy to me? I did find this a very interesting character study of Human Dash, though, and I really liked how the Apple-Dash and Applity (Rarijack?) ships compare and contrast. And Older-Rarity's comment about Rarijack's relationship was actually really insightful, to me.

No Sunset?
Could have at least kept Princess Twilight Company.

This is less a comedy, more a creepily realistic character study of old people and young people.

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This inspired me to do a followup about the dynamics of dating with an age difference.


Rainbow was practicing mixolydian scales when she caught herself staring at her hands. How'd she play guitar in Equestria? With wings? Could you play guitar with wingtips?

Her phone dinged. She looked out her apartment window and saw Twilight standing out the front, waiting to be buzzed in, and debated hiding under her bed until she went away - but she'd been practicing with her window open, Twilight definitely had to know she was here. Dang it.

Twilight made herself tea when she came up, and leaned her elbows around the dirty breakfast plates that Dash still hadn't gotten around to cleaning up yet. "I'm just worried." She said. "I talk to the Princess and it's like, she's me, but she's not. It's legitimately scary how much better she is at - at everything, really." She thought about how to say what she actually meant. "There's nothing you can do about time, though. You're never really going to be her equal. You can't be okay with that, right?"

"Why wouldn't I want to date someone who's better than me, though?" Dash asked, and then caught the look Twilight gave her and walked her back. "I mean, I don't mean better than me, I just mean-"

"I'm worried about how susceptible you are to imposter syndrome." Twilight cut her off, then sipped her tea. Dash blinked.

"Seriously thought you were the last person in the world I'd need to explain this to, Twilight. I actually like that we're not 'equal', I just think it's insanely hot to know someone's way out of your league and still impress them. Like I know how great she is, so when she looks at me like-" She cut herself off, raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "Whatever. We both know you know what I mean."

"I do not want to make out with the Princess." Twilight lowered her mug to the counter so fast it made a sound like she'd dropped it.

"You've never even thought about it?"

"Weird dreams don't count."

"You know Pinkie would probably find it hot, right?"

"Why are you like this?" Twilight glared. "I was trying to talk about you here."

Rainbow stopped grinning. "You really think she's going to get bored of me?"


Rarity kicked off her sewing machine with a sigh and turned to the worried Fluttershy darkening her doorway. "I didn't hear you come in. I swear, I really am being visited by Hearthswarming ghosts about this."

"I didn't know you usually liked them that... young." Fluttershy spoke carefully, not nervously.

"I don't have a usual anything. I have exceptions, and she is..." Rarity turned back to her sewing to keep her small smile private, "Exceptional."

"What does our Dash think?"

"She asked if Applejack should be worried, now that I've had a taste." Rarity rolled her eyes. "No, it's the potential I find myself attrac- Interested in, and she's already met hers."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Just try not to hurt her." Fluttershy said. "At the end of this. I think she might care a lot more than you do."

"Why, this is all just a bit of fun, isn't it?" Rarity asked and when Fluttershy gave her the most disappointed look, she walked it back. "That's not how I meant it."

"I don't think it is to her." Fluttershy said. "We all saw how she was looking at you. And it was kind of... Well, Rainbow and Applejack thought it was funny." She cleared cleared her throat. "If this isn't going to last forever, she's going to say anything to get you to stay for five more minutes."

"That has been the problem for me." Rarity admitted, getting up from her sewing. Her groove had been thrown off irreparably for the moment, it was clearly time for a late lunch. "She's too damned good at making me want to stay five minutes longer than I know I should. Bless that it's Dash, because I've not once caught myself thinking anything as hideous as 'she's very mature for her age'. There's been no self-delusion on that front." Rarity caught herself smiling again, in spite of that. "Is that better or worse, though? That I like her so much for it, rather than in spite of it?"

"Does that mean if she ever got... too mature for you... you wouldn't...?"

"No, I would not be trading her for a younger model." Rarity's smile curdled. "What do you want me to say, here? If I like her more, then you'll warn me against the relationship. If I like her less, you'll warn me against not taking her feelings seriously enough. At some level we have to accept that she has made the decision that I am something she is willing to get hurt over, and I am taken enough with her that I can't refuse her. She is a vibrant, passionate, determined and charismatic little monster; So very eager to please, but so accomplished in her own right that it comes across as intensely flattering as opposed to cloying. I can't be held responsible for her decisions when she's so talented at getting me to act irresponsibly."

Fluttershy was quiet.

"What? No rejoinder that I'm simply offloading my responsibility off on her?" Rarity groused.

"Discord makes me feel like that sometimes, too." Fluttershy admitted. "The way he can just talk me into things I know I should say 'no' to."

Rarity sighed in relief. "Of course you understand. Of course you do. She's younger, yes, but she's not inert, devoid of agency." Rarity thought about that some more. "I should be more considerate of that. If I make her think I'm only interested so long as she's making me interested, then I think we both suspect how that will go. I was thinking it would be better to limit displays of affection to prevent her getting too attached, but... that could only do more damage in the long run, couldn't it."

Fluttershy cocked her head. "So... you are thinking about dating her?"

"No." Rarity insisted, and it was still the truth for now. "I'm thinking that she deserves clearer signals. She has won the race, she can stop running. Can you help me find my box of tiny gemstones?"


Twilight blinked at Rainbow. "I don't know. Maybe? I mean, she's- She runs an entire business empire on the other side. She's an international hero. It wouldn't have anything to do with you, they're just... at a different stage of their lives."

"Yeah, I know. I just- " Rainbow muttered, cut off by at another buzz for her apartment. "Hold on." Twilight raised her mug of tea as if to say 'I'm good here', and Rainbow galloped down the stairs to... sign for an express delivery? She ran it back upstairs, and Twilight raised an eyebrow at it.

"A gift?"

"I probably just ordered something and forgot about it," Rainbow tore the package open with shaking hands. "Rarity was pretty clear I'm just a... You know?"

"She was, was she?" Twilight watched Rainbow open the package.

It was a black guitar plectrum, studded with a rainbow of diamonds. Rainbow pressed her thumb to it and found it perfectly fit the contour of her thumb, the colours poking out just around the side. It was sharp enough she couldn't play with it forever, but in the short term it made a really solid grip. She checked the handwritten letter next to it. 'This should fit your wing on this side of the portal. I'm looking forward to hearing you play for me when you visit.' Rainbow twisted the pick to inspect it from all sides. "What do you think... what do you think it means?"

Twilight stared at it. "Are those real diamonds? Wow, they are. Ah." She'd already drank all her tea, so she just sipped from an empty mug to hide her face. "I think she's trying to say if she's going to break your heart, she should probably break it as hard as possible?"

"Awesome."

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Also as an aside - I'm not calling either Rarity or Applejack abusers when I say this, but it's one of my favourite observations of how people end up with or stay with abusers, and how when you call out or fight an abuser the significant other can see you as the problem rather than the abusive person you're reacting to.

Some people are so proud of their ability to fix problems that they see their partner as a challenge, or work they can actually pull off. When someone calls them out for their shittiness, then the problem becomes that you've added more work than they can handle and made things harder to fix. The abuser is unreasonable so it's one thing, but you are reasonable and should know better than to make things worse. But how bad the abuser is actually gives their partner a feeling of insane value because of the challenge they're overcoming, right?

Rarijack I see as far less extreme than that, but still unhealthy. They fight in an entertaining way, but it's still fighting and fundamental disrespect of the other's values. It just kind of comes across as charming because the makeup and apologies are always sweet and sincere. Other people differ on me on this and I respect that, I think there's a lot of merit to the argument that the ability to fight and keep together through it is a sign of strong communication abilities. Just, in a story with an emphasis on the different relative maturities of the couple it made sense to emphasize this one.

the comments "epilogue" really makes me want a more in depth followup.. Something about the age difference being taken seriously has me hungry for more of it

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I'd be happy to for $20/1,000 words! If you can find people to split that with, all the better.

As much as I would actually really love to write it and especially a chance to go full M with it, I'm trying to publish original work these days. The opportunity cost of writing fanfic instead is a bit of an issue.

Great story. Made me laugh and think at the same time. I have read some stories that go RariDash. They usually focus on Dash having long-term crushes on the "unobtainable" Rarity, who is spending so much time looking for Mr. Right, that she misses out on the Ms. Right Now's. Like relationships, they work or don't. It's still fun to watch from the sidelines and let your inner romantic think: maybe this time, it'll work.

Fascinating stuff. I do love seeing the different sides of the mirror interact, especially this sort of comparison and contrast. Thank you for a most engaging read and an acknowledgement of just how unhealthy this is for the leftovers… even if it is fun.

That being said (and I’m adding this in an edit after thinking of it) I do have to wonder where Sunset is in all of this. I know she’s outside the scope of the main story, but still.

Absolutely love it, specially the different kinds one can love another in a relationship and it being ok.

It’s like staring directly into a sun that wants to make me a better person, and I want that sun to step on me.

Oh, the day she says that will have one damn good night. I wonder when the marriage proposal will happen and how those will be over the years. Absurdly amazing story, shame I can only favorite it once.

Out of curiosity, where is Sunset during all of this? Seems like she would generally be trying to run damage control (or maybe being to busy crushing on Princess Twilight)

I love the concept of human rarijack and pony appledash meeting and you’ve done so well with the concept! All the characters felt like themselves and real and relatable. I especially loved this quote:

The Human Dash thought the pony Applejack looked more like she ran her farm, and hers looked more like she owned it.

It’s always interesting seeing how people differentiate the human and pony counterparts and this perfectly explains the difference between the AJ’s.

This was a really nice story, and you did a great job contrasting the different versions of the characters through their ages and relationships while all feeling believably the same character. There wasn't a moment where I felt characters were acting in a way they wouldn't, which is high praise for a story of this nature, I think. You also did a good job selling Pony Rarity and Human Rainbow's hook up, and potential further relationship. The descriptions did make it a bit difficult to keep track of who precisely was talking and to whom, though.

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It was hideously difficult to write 2 copies of 3 characters talking to each other where they make no distinctions between nicknames or whatever among themselves and have it completely scan in a text based medium, and the earlier draft where I was more cautious about that read hideously repetitive. It took on the cadance of a children's book level of over-explaining simplicity even where it was necessary for clarity.

So, as I mentioned having another author explore the prompt in a different genre has happened. If you liked this one. Check out Silver Notes For Want Of An Apple.

damn that was dangerously cute and hot. Got me all worked up between my legs and my ears.

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Watch this space, I just finished a full sequel that goes a lot harder

I love this story.
The sequel is pretty good too, if you do not mind the cloppy parts.

> The older Rainbow Dash held out a fist and waited for Applejack to bump it before she called out to her younger self, “It’s like watching a dog actually catch a car and not knowing what to do with it. Just get run over, idiot.”

why would equestrian RD make this analogy?

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When in Roam, do as the Roamans do

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Honestly, the fact Pony Dash knows enough human colloquialisms to make this argument just implies a whole of lot contact and some interesting conversations that had to have happened over the years. Even if it seems that the ponies haven’t spent a lot of time on Terra, perhaps the picked it up from Twilight or Sunset.

Basically, the same thing as hehe do ponies have door knobs, saddles, and implements with handles designed to fit human hands. Either you go with the real, but boring, explanation that it’s for the sake of the viewer, or you dive into increasingly deep explanations about how and why a human expression or object appears in equatorial. Lore and world building opportunities!

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Bonus! :pinkiehappy: You might consider appending this to the story.

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I ended up writing another 40,000 words of it and making it its own sequel which... Counts???

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/545733/two-martyrs-fall-for-each-other

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:rainbowlaugh: The one I'm just starting to read now!!! Okay, full marks! I love this relationship, BTW. :pinkiehappy:

I was curious on how one would juggle and divulged which character is from which universe without feeling lackluster, and it went smoother than I expected! The whole story direction and flow was pleasant and tying loose ends? :trollestia:, along with the hilarious rock-paper-scissors joke! Very good read!

Favorited and follow !

Just another heads up the last of the "thematic trilogy," has been posted by MagnetBolt The Horror Of Knife Edge Makeout Point

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I enjoyed prereading for this one, actually

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