• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2023

Echo 27

Heart of my own heart, how can I let you go? Love of my life, why go where I cannot follow? Why must you leave me behind, to live on without you? My love, my love, what am I going to do without you?



"Wait wait wait. Let me get this straight. The first time you meet this girl she nearly gets you put in prison. The second time you meet you both nearly kill each other. Did I get that right?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"So you like a girl that almost ruined your life. Are you an idiot?"
"Don't think so."
"Then how the heck did you end up dating this girl, much less even liking her?!"
"Hmm... how about I start from the beginning?"

(A 'you' story written in 1st person. I hope you enjoy. Starting off with a low character count, will add more as necessary)

Wow! Featured yet again! Thank you all so much!

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 607 )

So is this a girls point of view or a guy's point of view? Or either one?

6319388 Unknown. I'm deliberately writing neutral. It's a "you-perspective" story written in 3rd person cause I can't stand writing in 2nd person.

Ok cool i like 3rd person better to ill give this story a shot since im a girl i mean i read a lot of romances with both genders:: its just Sunset shimmer is my favorite character :pinkiehappy:

6319404 Excellent, I hope to live up to your expectations.

Nice story so far, keep going.

Title looked interesting on my feed. Then clicking in and seeing my art ... ;) Will have to give it a read this weekend.

6319498 Wait, this is your artwork? I hope you don't mind me using it, and I hope to do the story justice.

6319468 Thanks! I hope it comes out well.

6319666 Should be fine, yep. Looks like you found it from someone else's favorites gallery. ;) Here's the real source link http://skycatcherequestria.deviantart.com/art/Inner-Beauty-489023275

6319694 Oops, looks like that favorites box was mine. Sorry!

Hmmm...premise has me intrigued, as does your inclusion of gender-neutral writing. Sure, I'll follow this and see where it goes.

I like it! Does it take place in the first movie? Since Sunset Shimmer is acting like this.

"Hell's bells."

A Dresden Files fan, I take it?

6320973 Actually no, I just love the term.
Come to think of it, I don't even know where I first heard it.

6320968 Aye, starts before Twilight comes in.

mane of half-cooked bacon hair

Generally speaking, mane is a strange word to use when describing a human, using a head of half-cooked bacon hair would be better.

I really like the story overall, I expect Moar.

6322304 True, but I like strange. I thrive on strange.

And thanks! I hope you enjoy the rest!

You know me and friend had a similar idea...different obviously, but overall the same concept wise. Congrats my friend, I hope your writing is successful. PM if you ever wanna chat and say hello.

6323241 Hope I do your idea justice, friend. Thanks!

... Young Justice fan, by any chance? :trixieshiftright:

6325392 Didn't have Cartoon Network when it was on and actually have never watched an episode. Sorry! :twilightsmile:

Nice resolution to that inner conflict.

Looks like things are looking up for our protagonist. What is his name? And keep up the good work.

6331400 Doesn't have one. It's a you perspective story written in 1st-person.

6333313 With pleasure, working on the next chapter now.

in case no one pointed this out

irritating to the nth degree

9th degree

6341811 Never heard the phrase "to the nth degree"? Huh, maybe it's a military thing.

I keep reading the main character's lines in the voice of Jaime Reyes from Young Justice, so I'm just gonna pretend that's his name, :ajsmug:

6343300 Whatever floats your goat, friend. I left it unknown so people can think whatever they like.

I think its your name except inthird persom could be wrong though oh well cant wait to see what happens next :pinkiehappy:

This chapter happened way to soon....I think you should have built up more of the torment between Sunset and the guy. I don't feel any impact on them trying to be friends.

6343575 I'm gonna build up the relationship in the next couple chapters. Right now they're just not spitting rage at each other. Main character wouldn't have forgiven her if he hadn't been forced to.


What about Octavia? Does she still have a role?

6344805 Don't really know. I think so, but I'm not quite sure. I have a general idea where the plot's going to go (Major sequences, the ending, etc) but I rarely know what happens in between. I like to let it flow and see what happens.

Imma call our protagonist: Juan! Because of the background given.

6345216 whoa whoa whoa

That's seems pretty racist. You gotta pick a name that isn't a stereotype like Tyrone, or Jose, or Donald Trump...... Oh wait

6346009 I didn't give "Juan" his name JUST because of the gang he was in or his parents' background, those are minor reasons. It's because I saw it rather fitting and "Juan" is a nice and simple name.

6346211 No need to worry, I'm just messing with ya.

6347838 I got that, I just needed to say something before other people say something.

6347954 Ah okay, just wanted to make sure you weren't going to put my head on pike for making racial joke.

You never know since people seem to get offended all the time.

This chapter was very interesting. Watching RD and the guy bond over boxing (and ED possibly having a crush on him) was very sweet. Forgot to add, your description of the boxing match with all those broken sentences was awesoem and kept me on my seat. Likewise, his interaction with Sunset really improved. Still, respect for the wham ending as. I didn't see that coming. You get the favorite right now.

6371421 Thanks! I've found action doesn't end with periods very well, so I invented that technique a while back to make it seem more frenetic.
As for RD, that's probably gonna cause trouble later.
As for Sunset, it's bad. Bad bad.

I find it funny that I just got back into watching Hajime no Ippo (boxing anime) last night, and woke up to a boxing chapter, :rainbowkiss:

6371848 Well how about that!
I wanted an athletic protagonist, but I wanted to avoid something normal. Ergo, I chose boxing.

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