• Member Since 14th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 5th, 2016

The Dante Shy


E

Fluttershy has a crush on a certain someone but has no idea what to tell them but does know what to get them for Christmas

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

This is cute, but it could use a lot of editing.
There's some parts that don't quite lead into others like Sunset asking Fluttershy "what did you want to ask me?" when Fluttershy didn't mention any question - only that she wanted to speak in private.
It has a lot of potential though :twilightsmile:

Cute Story.

But oh my God the grammar is just... bad. Like, alot of readers would turn away from this due to them. In which of course there'll always be errors but when they're noticeable, fix them!

This story though imo, was rushed insanely bad.
Do you have any proof readers???
On the bright side though, this story alone has the potential to be a multi chapter story and not a one shot.

The other thing though was that, you made things too obvious. The title gives it away and makes the term secret crush non existing and irrelevant to this story because it has no value or uniqueness.

Why are you making aj sound evil :applejackunsure:

AJ is totally mean when it comes to relationships…anyway that was a AMAZING story:rainbowkiss:

How did this get approved with no description?

Just another generic one-shot that's painful to read and barely squeaks past the minimum word count. This story shouldn't even be on this site; this is literally a tumblr-tier drabble.

You can't even spell the word perfect.

Downvote

You should make a sequel where AJ finds out

need more of this chapters

SS knitted into one of the corners

tightrope.cc/catalog/images/knit-cap-ss.jpg

I'm a terrible person.

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