• Member Since 25th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Spirit Shift


Just a wandering brony/whoovian/gamer/otaku/writer/artist who likes to flail at keyboards for fun... I have a lot of hobbies. Be sure to leave a comment, I friggin love those! Skype: spiritshift96

Sequels2

E

After what happened at the Fall Formal, Rarity comes to see that Sunset Shimmer's become little more than a recluse, a mere shell of her former self. It also doesn't help that no one in the school is even willing to give her a chance. Rarity sees this as inexcusable. So, honoring their promise to Twilight, she convinces the girls to try their hardest to get Sunset out of her shell by having the girl take part in their activities.

But will a simple shared interest be enough able to open up Sunset's rapidly closing heart?

Somehow featured! (8/12/14) What an awesome birthday present!
Image by Uotapo
Stolen from and Proofread by Harmony Charmer
Edited By the loyal Ersmiller

Chapters (21)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 485 )

YUSS, it's up!!! HA HA, I am so excited!!!

Gotta say I'm looking forward to where this is going. Well written and no errors. My hats off to you friend good luck. :moustache:

Hohoho! Brilliant! Marvelous! Fantastic! :yay:

I'll be following this to see where it goes.

I have to tell you though: this is VERY rough, and could use an extra prereader as well as an editor.

alright i'll keep this in read later..............FOR NOW :moustache:

4687404 :rainbowlaugh: lol I guess I'll just fix everything then

Looks good, Will keep an eye on this.

A story inspired by the Sunset Helper series? Interesting. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

4688341 Yea, I plan on making a fic for each one of those pics. This is the first

Not too bad. It's a nice start of the story and I'm interested on what's going to happen on the next chapter. :twilightsmile:
Keep up the good work. :heart:

oh i love those pics!! :rainbowkiss:
and everything that artist draw actually :twilightsheepish:

you gonna inspire yourself from each of that pics series :pinkiehappy: ???

4690928 I'll try :scootangel: Of course I'll still need you guys' support to move forward

“Fluttershy,” she said gently as she moved closer to the shy, introverted girl, “you are the kindest person I know. Also, if you remember, you were in the same situation as her when we first met.”

“Except she didn't try to enslave two worlds,” Rainbow muttered.

Or did she? :rainbowderp:

4690969
weeeell, i never comment more then once on a story so far, but I will on every chapter if it encourage you forward :pinkiecrazy:

oh and if you could somehow use the "Hay Fever" somewhere in the story that be awesome :trollestia:

4691013 I would love to if you could tell me what that is :trollestia:

4691030
here: http://www.deviantart.com/art/HAY-FEVER-448611858
that is officially the textless comic that made me laugh the most ever :derpytongue2:

4691040 :rainbowlaugh: hilarious I promise that I'll try

4691080
:yay:
welp, can't ask for more :raritystarry:

now off I go reading your others stories! :pinkiehappy:

4691111
Fear not mine friend :pinkiehappy:
I going with open mind :twilightsmile:

4691150 That profile pic is the picture for my (unfinished) story!

P.S> if you want to read it plz give me loads of feedback so I can get the willpower to write some more even though I don't want to. :duck:

When I look at that cover picture, why does Bob Marley's "Jamming" run through my head, except with the word 'Jamming' removed and the word 'Geeking' inserted?

... now why does the one with Dash and Sunny walking by Gilda and Dust in a... I'll say Camaro come to mind.

Great chapter. The pacing is very well done. Couple things I noted.
“Haven't you figured it out yet.. or is that you only wanted my power to yourself smarter?”

Or is it that.

Other than that a bit more detail for each situation, place, and character would probably help.

Again well done.

Mmmm if i had one complain bout this chapter, it's how it cut from the start of the activity and jump strait to the girl meeting after
but maybe it's because of something you tough out and will make sense later on :pinkiehappy:

so yeah, I still digging this story
I absolutely loved how you did the Sunset vision of her transformation, very inspiring :scootangel:
so keep going yay :pinkiecrazy:

Spirit approves. :ajsmug: Spirit would love this to continue. Wait, why am I talking in third person? Hmm, so this takes place right after the ending of the movie? Just making sure. :moustache:

4699859
Spirit Shift enjoys this comment and yes it takes place about a month or 2 from the ending

“Using his thick dark rod, Spirit proceeded to force it though. Even though it was a tight fit, and this was his first time, he just knew that if he didn't do this, she would never have the chance to-” Rarity’s face blushed deep red as she soon as she began reading.

When I read this I instantly thought "Clopfic anyone?" :trollestia:

I then proceed to laugh my ass off. :rainbowlaugh:

Okay, I'm catching a LOT of continuity errors in this story that violate the canon of the Equestria Girls movie.

Let's take them in order:

"Not I, my uncle and aunt are. You may have heard of them; Hoity Toity and Photo Finish?"

Photo Finish can't be Rarity's aunt, OR famous. She's a student at Canterlot High.

From what I’ve heard you’ve won quite a few contests in the past

Every popularity contest Sunset Shimmer has won has been at Canterlot High. Rarity has been there exactly as long as she has, if not longer. Rarity would know these things. Additionally, remember the mention in the movie of the Spring Fling? Rarity is the girl who tried to run against Sunset Shimmer.

When she went to take the crown she had already been there two full days relearning her magic.

Err...no.

The portal between the two worlds only remains open for three days. Twilight Sparkle was in that other world three days. Sunset Shimmer came through and stole the crown the SECOND the portal opened, and thus would have had very little, if any, time to reacclimate herself to Equestria.

For once can’t Cabileron

Caballeron.

Oh, and seriously, get a prereader or three. And an editor. You need quite a bit of help with grammar and mechanics.

Have to argee with MythrilMoth, other then that it was good.
Might be worth a little rewrite.

4723470 Or maybe there was only 3 days left. >D U mad bro?

4723484 You know, there's such a thing as gentle criticism and not condescending criticism.

4723470 Technically, it is possible if you make her younger... my friend has a aunt younger than her.

Weird thing, I got email notices that this story updated, but it didn't highlight my faves.

4723484
Blunt, but accurate. I like this story, but it does need work.

4723581
4723470 nope he's absolutely right on all counts. Some of those were glaring errors that at least one of us should have caught.

I completely forgot that she was a student but i kinda hoped that no one would pick out the the days deal. But even so he's right and i should go fix those things imediately.

If anything he should join me over at the Literary Sins (CinemaSins for fanfics) group/channel I plan on making :trollestia: but other than those horrible horrible disfigurements, did you at least like the chapters?

Hmmm crude humor... lm liking this fics more and more...

Sunset quickly pulled away. “N-no, I’m alright. I think that I should go now. My parents don’t want me out too late. You know how it is.”

...What parents? Any parents Sunset has (living or dead) would be in Equestria, not on EQG Earth.

Comment posted by Spirit Shift deleted Sep 12th, 2014

4724324 He just said it in a very... Critisizing way. I generally say a bit of the good along with the bad so it doesn't seem like I'm blatantly hating.

4726999 I guess so but, yea but you're all great. I know that you guys wouldnt just hate for no reason. Trust me I can tell when someone is.

OH MY GOSH WHY DIDN'T THESE SHOW UP IN MY FAVORITES? And this chapter was toooooooooo funny! Poor Rares and her gutter mind!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!