• Member Since 26th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 8th, 2023

Flarefeather


Wamma Bamma

E

It's Twilight's birthday today so the main 6 are heading to her birthday party.

Note: This story takes place after The Friendship Games and with Human Twilight despite the cover image.

Kind of inspired by this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP2chYoQe2k

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

Nice short and sweet. Love me some sunlight.

7221357 Yea I know but sometimes I like it just the way it is, since I l don't usually like doing things traditionally. I'm pretty much like the black sheep of the group if you know what I mean. Plus I write stories for fun and not really expect it to be professional, just for people who enjoy short, understandable and possibly cute stories.

Short and sweet, but I feel like there should be more to this. It's difficult to explain properly, but I feel like this is just the lead up to the story proper. So it's vaguely unsatisfying to read this far and for it to just end.

However, barring that, it's okay, but you need an editor-some phrasing here and there is awkward sounding-(to combat this I always say stuff out loud-if it's awkward sounding to my own ears, then it doesn't work), and you need to stay on one tense because you kept shifting here and there.

Still, short and enjoyable for what it is.

7294602 Even though I know I need an editor, I'm usually the type who likes their work the way they finish it, and slowly learn from it and improve from it (Also I pretty much recently started writing stories like this). Plus I really only write whenever I feel like it, so the way that it's written makes it pretty much what I call 'Quick Fics'. So it's really not gonna be the best writing but in the end if people enjoy it, that's fine by me.

Though, I'm glad you still find the story enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

Love SunLight with all my heart and this is so sweet!

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