//------------------------------// // So to you, I promise this // Story: She's Gonna Kill Me! // by Echo 27 //------------------------------// It was as if the world had ended. Time froze, hearts stopped, the only fragment of existence that remained were those last few words that spun their way from the TV and into my brain. War. We were at war. We sat there for hours. I lost track of time as the horror of what had just been done began to seep in. The room was full of panicked teens, the fear prevented from erupting into chaos by Principal Celestia and the rest of the staff. As time went on, family members would come by and find their child, taking them back home to endure the nightmare in privacy. More than a few made phone calls- too many went unanswered. The seven of us eventually found our way back to Applejack’s farm where crowded around the TV, watching the reports come in and develop. Each update was a new revelation, a piercing of the heart with each new piece of information. Every time we thought that it could not get worse was only a crueler and more horrific moment. It was as if the bliss and peace of our endeavor last night had been a figment of our imaginations- a pleasant dream, only for us to wake up to the terrifying reality of a world at war. We weren’t the only country to face an attack that day. Around seven in the evening, the station we were watching started reporting updates of other nations that had been struck: Birmingham in the UK, Munich in Germany, St. Petersburg in Russia, and numerous bombings and terror attacks across Europe and even into the Middle East and Africa. All had been perfectly sequenced, timed as if to an algorithm, making sure each country would be paying attention just enough to the first country to not have their security up. Distractions for when it was their turn… “How’d they do it, though?” I asked finally, after hours of silence. “How’d they get in across the ocean and not get caught, how’d they bomb the biggest city in the country? It doesn’t make sense.” “They think the Empire got help. An infiltration,” AJ replied. “You know who it’s gonna be, too.” I nodded. Sure enough, as we continued to watch the story unfold, reports regarding the bombs that had caused the early panic began to seep in. they had been precisely placed in key areas across the island, ensuring that a large number of the city’s population had been out of doors and in the firing lanes. The bombers and the preceding explosions had all deliberately avoided news stations and the surrounding area, as if to make sure it would be seen and reported almost immediately. The bombing run itself, the positioning, oh so perfectly planned and mapped out by someone who knew that city by heart, who’d had connections and informants to keep themselves hidden. “Something’s come in.” We all crept a little closer in to watch, as if somehow we would glean some new piece of information. We were on edge, we were afraid… “And we have just received reports that there is indeed security footage of the explosion that rocked the Flatiron Building, only half an hour before the full-scale attack began,” said the reporter, a haggard man who looked exhausted. “The FBI has announced that they have not only discovered the perpetrator behind the bombing within the footage, but they have positively identified the suspect as international weapons dealer and terrorist known only as Discord.” The report went on to discuss the man as a whole, detailing his numerous crimes and offenses against humanity in a spree of destruction and wholesale chaos that spanned decades, more than once showing a picture of the man. They discussed the manhunt that was now searching madly for the terrorist, there was a plea for information, possibilities of how he had escaped Manhattan- if he had escaped at all. But I, I was focused solely on the face of the man who had aided in a massacre. I was entranced- no, terrified by the crazed look in his eyes, the burning delight that burned in him. It was as if, even in something as simple as a photograph was enough to reveal the bloodlust and hatred within that had twisted him so. It was horrifyingly, terrifyingly familiar, for I had once served a man just like him until only just a short time ago. We all went back to our homes, silent as the dead that now lay scattered and torn across a broken city. Part of me prayed that if I could force myself to fall asleep, I would wake up and find it only to be a dream. Maybe, just maybe, this was only the most vivid, vibrant nightmare I had ever endured, and before me would be a new day in a normal life, a normal city in a normal world without this hideous day. But I didn’t fall asleep. I went and sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, watching the news spill in all night long, Sunset right beside me the entire time. She hadn’t spoken since morning, too horrified or too grieved for the need for words. She held onto me as if I were a lifeline, a place where she could find comfort in the midst of this storm. I was her pillar, leaving me nothing in the world to hold onto but myself. Never before had I wanted so badly to panic. Night came and went, the sun rising and giving birth to the next day. The news had only gotten worse throughout the night, I awake and alive to see every bit of it. Where my stomach had once been was now a gong that was struck with each passing revelation, every nightmare. King Sombra, ruler of the Crystal Empire, had declared open war against the Empire’s oppressors, and mass troop movements were occurring in a massive power grab. Iran, last-minute addition to the Empire, was headed west into Turkey, combining its efforts to overthrow the nation as Greece took on their bitter enemies via the eastern border. Russia’s western borders had been crippled and the nation was in free-fall as it struggled to push back invaders- invaders in Russian soil that held a furious grudge built upon centuries of hatred. Norway had all but collapsed as its neighbors pushed inward. Africa had been infiltrated through Spain and Italy had been forced to surrender. Germany and France were ablaze as the majority of the Empire pushed right towards them. The two nations were giving it their all, but the sheer force with which they had been struck was devastating. And here we stood, reeling from a military strike on our soil unlike any that had come before it, watching as a continent on the other side of the world erupted with the fires of war. The stock market had crashed, there had been mass riots and looting across the country in the midst of the panic. Flights were still grounded, and would continue to be for another 24-hour period. We were a broken nation. But we were already going to fight. Our installations in France, Germany and Great Britain were already mobilizing and preparing to deploy. Families were being sent back to their homes across the sea in case it came to a siege situation. AFRICOM had been given clearance to push northeast and fight back against the Empire’s surge. The UN had initiated a coalition force that would be spearheaded by our forces alongside Britain, Japan and Russia so as to initiate a defensive that would be able to hold the line and prevent further incursions by the Empire. As the commercials began to roll, nearly the entire segment was made of recruitment commercials and Red Cross pleas for aid. The world had stopped, civilization had ended the moment Manhattan fell. As horrible as it was, the event had united us and made us pause for a moment. Or maybe, this was going to be the moment the world changed forever. We were at war. Military forces all across the country, across the world, would now be called upon to fight and die in a war that, despite our great strength and ability, we still might not be able to win. The Crystal Empire had been named aptly for a reason, arising from poverty and a crushed history only to become a super-collective and the wealthiest nation on earth. 24 countries strong, a foothold in two continents thanks to its newest member, and a secrecy that had been maintained for decades. We were going to strike an enemy we did not know or understand head-on. And Discord… those eyes flashed in my brain like a monster from deep in the darkness, that leering smile speaking of an endless madness and hate… the whole world was falling apart, thanks to his abilities and years of studying his enemies. He had watched, planned, and waited for so long, and when the right person had come along, when the Empire came knocking at his door, he had given them a foolproof plan that would unleash chaos. A massive manhunt, formed by a combined effort of the CIA and FBI, was now preparing to span the globe in search of the man and the network he had set up in governments and nations and kingdoms across the world. Whether it was his intention or not, Discord had made himself the most hated man in the world overnight. I felt a rustling near me and I tore myself away from the screen to see a very groggy, very sickly Sunset rising from her place on the couch, having falling asleep sometime around four in the morning. She had tried to keep herself awake, tried to be there with me, but exhaustion had saved her from fear’s grasp and let her fade into the dreaming world where this awfulness could not reach her. “You’re still awake,” she mumbled weakly, looking dazed and sickly. “I can’t sleep,” I said tersely, watching as the Army’s recruitment segment gave way to the Marines. The entire armed forces had been campaigning like mad with hastily slapped together campaigns since last night, each one begging for new recruits and additions to their ranks. There hadn’t been talk of a draft yet, but I was willing to bet one was coming. The sheer scope of the campaign before us, the reality that this would very likely be the most savage, most violent conflict in human history could not be comprehended. It was unlike anything we had ever seen before. “Are you OK? You look awful,” Sunset said, putting her arms around me and nearly collapsing. “I can’t believe this is happening.” “It’s like watching the end of the world,” I whispered, reaching over and scrabbling for her hand. “It’s… it’s just… God help us, it’s going to be a bloodbath…” Sunset sat there, resting her head on my shoulder as she tried to fully gain consciousness and some semblance of control. After about fifteen minutes, she said, “I’ll make us something to eat. That’ll help us feel a little better. When was the last time you ate?” “AJ’s house.” “Me too. I’ll make us some PB&J, maybe… maybe it’ll help… help a little…” I heard her walk into the kitchen, taking a longer time than I ever would have guessed for her. There was the sound of cabinets being opened and silverware clinking together as she began to make the simple meal. But then there was silence. Another Army commercial, followed by ads for the Air Force and the Navy. A Red Cross donation fund that we could call to give aid- The sound of silverware striking against the floor and the sound of a sob tore me away from the screen for just a moment, enough for me to see Sunset collapse to the ground in tears. As I came over to comfort her, there was nothing I could say or do, and I simply let time pass as the two of us wept together. “Why?” she final managed, her body heaving with her grief. “Why would someone do this… why would they want this, how can they? What does it gain, all this senseless death and misery and pain! They weren’t doing anything to them, both of them! They were just innocent people, they were just families and women and kids and- families!” she cried, a fresh wave of tears flowing from her ocean eyes. “There were families there, everywhere! And now they’re gone forever! How many people saw someone they loved leave and now they’re not coming back?! What if that had been one of our friends? What if that had been you? What if you’d walked out that door yesterday, and I never saw you again? What would make someone want this to happen?!” I couldn’t possibly find an answer to such a question, leaving me no choice but to comfort her and let her cry herself dry. She had been right, with every single word. Men. Women. Children. Young and old, sick and healthy, strong and weak, good and evil… bombs were indiscriminate, and they took no prisoners. All across the world fathers had died, mothers had cried, sons and daughters would forever be left wondering why their parents hadn’t come home, and all we could do now is simply ask why: Why would someone want to cause so much pain? That same question was asked over and over again by dozens of talking heads, person after person discussing why the Crystal Empire had suddenly taken such violent actions across the globe, what had provoked them to such drastic measures. Some wondered whether it had been tension with its neighbors, old enmity that had been spawned from the previous century. Others claimed it was a power grab, an attempt to make the world recognize the Empire as a legitimate superpower, a single nation instead of many nations. But the more I watched, the more I came to my own conclusion: it just didn’t matter. It didn’t matter who, what, where, or why- all that mattered was people were dying. Sunset went to bed early, her emotions having run her ragged and exhausting her. She had tried her hardest to stay awake with me as I continued to watch the beginnings of the war unfold, but well before midnight she was fast asleep, nestled in the corner of the couch. When the clock struck twelve and the new day had begun, I found myself being torn away from the chaos on the screen before me, and focused solely on her. What do I do now? I wondered hopelessly, looking down on the girl I loved. God help me, what do I do now… She was a small one, by most people’s standards. She would always have to get on her tiptoes to reach anything in the top shelves, though she often resorted to asking me to reach for her. I weighed more as a twelve year old than she did right now, easily evident by her slender frame. By most people’s estimations, Sunset was probably weak and fairly unassuming. But I knew otherwise, I’d seen as such. No weak woman could save my life. Whether it was her fire, her determination, or her hidden magic that gave her strength never mattered to me once- I hadn’t come to love her for what she could do or who she could be, I had come love her because of who she was and that had been enough. Together, my hand in hers, I’d been so certain we could overcome anything the world could throw at us. After all, she had taken down the man who had held this city in his clutches for decades. What could we not accomplish? But everything had changed in an instant. The moment those bombs fell the illusion had been shattered, the veil pushed away and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, we were in over our heads. We were just kids, barely legal adults, in a world that rapidly descending into darkness. This was beyond either one of us, this was beyond anything any one man or woman could take- maybe even more than the whole world could ever possibly hope to comprehend. This was reality, this was war, and in war people lost their lives and would never return to the land of the living again. Not just the wicked, but good people, people who could make the world a better place, people whose lives were dedicated to making the sun shine a little brighter. Sunset was one of those people. She was something more great and wonderful than I could ever have dreamed of being, capable of so much that she could easily be called a prodigy. Endlessly intelligent, fiercely determined, and possessing a love and compassion that had transformed my life a thousand times over. What… what would happen if she had been in Manhattan? I lost myself in thought and I suddenly found myself in the hot, putrid miasma of the urban skyline. The endless metropolis lay out before me like a maze as the sky above burned and seared with fire and ash and smoke, the roaring sound of a massive engine soaring overhead. All I looked was black and red, not a single glimpse of light to pierce through the veil. People screamed, running to and fro to escape their impending doom. Buildings erupted in consuming clouds of debris and flames. The very streets burst forth like geysers as the world itself seemed to tear apart. I was trapped in an unfathomable terror, a snapshot from what surely must be Hell- The clouds broke through as a sole beam of light managed to pierce through the dark, cutting through the sounds and sights and smells of war and descending onto the streets, only a few feet before me… revealing the figure of a girl I knew so well. She bore the mantle of a goddess, her hair shimmering as if it were burning with the strength of the sun itself. Her dress was that of liquid fire, swirling and searing away at the inky blackness that threatened to overwhelm the world. Her beautiful eyes, bright as the sea on a sunny morning, blazed with purpose and a will that would make even the foulest of demons shudder. All eyes were drawn to her, that of the evil and of the benign. Hands reached out for her, believing that if they were to simply touch the hem of her clothing than they would be spared from this anguish. I rose from my place on the ground, rising up and stretching out my hand to meet her own, eager to be at her side through the darkness and fire- A dread whistling sound split my ears and the sight of her was blocked by the massive form of a 2,000 pound bomb falling to earth right between us and everything was fire and pain as I felt my flesh sear away and dissolve into ash, but I cared not for the pain which I endured, but only that she had disappeared just as the flames had burst forth- I rose from my place on the couch with such force that I sent the remote flying across the floor and slamming into the wall. My heart was racing like an Olympic sprinter and my entire body was soaked with a cold sweat that seemed to seep straight from my heart and soul. I felt a stirring next to me and I nearly leapt out of my skin- Sunset, disturbed by my sudden movements, had shifted on the couch in her sleep, curling up into a little ball. No longer an angel of light. No liquid fire, no dress worthy of queens. Just a small, tired young woman in a t-shirt and her pair of her favorite jeans. So innocent, peaceful and vulnerable. I felt ill. My body was encased in shivers and my mouth was dry. Taking as much care as I could not to wake her, I rose from my place on the couch and headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind me as I waited for illness to consume me. I took slow, deep breaths as my limbs struggled to hold my weight. I was an absolute wreck all because of a nightmare that had been all too real. I looked myself in the mirror, staring straight into the eyes of one who was no longer a child but not an adult. I looked pale and exhausted, sickly and fearful. I didn’t look like myself, I barely resembled a human being. I stripped off my soaking wet clothes and jumped into the shower, letting the warm water soothe me into a more reasonable state. Soon my body ceased its trembling, my shallow, harried breaths became normalized and my heart rate slowed. But nothing could stop the feverish pacing of my panicked mind, still unable to answer the question that had tortured me into my dreams: what do I do now? The world had changed. Forever. Our plans, our future, every single thing we had looked forward to with the hope of new life? Gone, destroyed the moment Manhattan had been struck. Our world was shattered and there was no way to pick up the pieces. The plan would have to change, whether we wanted to or not. It left us in a very undesirable situation, as we could not stay where we were, but we now had no visible plan of moving forward. To where would we go? What would we make of ourselves in this uncertain future? Could we even survive it at all? The image of a statue flashed into my brain: The Wondercolt statue outside of school. Not just a mere statue, but a portal to another world, another place and time. Sunset had only spoken of it briefly, but she called it a peaceful land, fruitful and happy and bright, full of hope and laughter and life. It was a possibility right within our reach, only a short drive away. A short drive away, waiting for the proper moment for the portal to open, and off we would go into the land where the love of my life had been born. A land of monsters and beasts and magic and strength and ancient powers unseen in my world since its inception, yet a cornerstone in hers. We could make a life there. We could be happy and free in a place like that, capable of living out our lives in happiness and peace. Sunset would be gifted with full use of her magic again, something I know she longed for. What I would be was entirely uncertain. Sunset had mentioned three different kinds of ponies- unicorns such as herself, winged ones known as pegasi, and the simple Earth pony. Where would I fit into that land? What would I become in a world that had never seen the likes of me before? My mind was buzzing with the endless possibilities that lay before the two of us. A restored future, a land without war, without the memories of Jester and Discord and Sombra and all the pain and horror that we had been forced to endure. We could be free, truly and totally free! What were we waiting for, what was there to hold us back now..? I walked into the living room where Sunset was still sleeping with the full intention of waking her and telling her my plan, of asking her to lead me into the kingdom she knew. My mind was racing with the possibilities ahead, my heart pounding once more- The TV flickered again, switching from the continuous reports on the destruction of Manhattan to a different scene: an armed forces recruiting center, filled to the brim with applicants and overwhelming the staff. “With a state of emergency declared this afternoon by the president, the armed forces suddenly find themselves overflowing with new candidates, eager to enlist and help bring about a quicker end to the coming conflict. Many states reported severe traffic and several accidents around local recruiting centers, causing many local authorities to direct traffic and even assist in organizing what is quickly becoming a mass-enlistment movement as hundreds of men and women across the country heed the call to serve and protect the nation.” The screen changed again, this time to a faraway installation where soldiers beyond counting were gathered together, saying goodbye to friends and family. Husbands, wives, daughters, sons, fathers and mothers were being left behind as scores of human lives prepared to disembark on a journey from which so many would not return. It was a cycle. A cycle of death and pain and sorrow that would carry on to the next generation. Children would grieve over the parent they had lost, seeking out across the void for something to blame, something that would be held accountable for such an unspeakable act. They would find their culprit and that grief would turn to rage and hatred, and the bitterness between nations would simply start to rise again, greater and more terrible than before, and it would just start all over once more… I looked down at my hand, gazing straight at my palm where so many years ago, a cruel and wicked man that I called my father took me to a place hidden away in the labyrinth of this city, forcing my hand onto a scalding hot brand and keeping me there, even as I screamed and howled in agony, the shrieks of a child doing nothing to stir his heart. It had been my seal, my first sacrifice to Jester, a madman who had killed and stolen and cheated and destroyed hundreds upon hundreds of lives through decades of history. I had been brought into his war and forged with the hatred and cruelty he had made into his lifeblood. I had become just like the ones I had feared that day, when I was just a small child: capable of unimaginable pain and wickedness, uncaring and unfeeling in regards to the consequences of my actions. Now here it was happening again, this time on a global scale. Discord and King Sombra and Jester… they were all the same kind of man. Lovers of death and chaos and violence, murderers and thieves and tyrants that would be satisfied with nothing less than the destruction and domination of all who stood before them until there would be no good thing left in the world untouched by their cruelty. Just as Jester had left the world I knew, so Discord and Sombra had risen to the forefront of my consciousness. There would always be another Jester. There would always be wicked men who would hurt the world. The ‘W’ mark on my palm almost seemed to shimmer in the darkness. I traced the outline with my fingers, feeling where metal had once seared so deep. It had been my only true penalty, if I were honest with myself. In the midst of a street war, all I had been forced to suffer was two stints in juvenile detention and a few injuries. I had lost no family, no friends, no good and right thing to the violence. I had been spared from far worse fates, thanks to the greatest and most beautiful thing to ever enter my life… the young woman who slept peacefully on the couch before me. I remembered a blustery February day, one that truthfully hadn’t been so long ago. I remember how a little girl had come up to Sunset and spoke to her. I had been too focused on Sunset’s well-being that day to really pay attention, but now that I looked back I could remember that little girl’s smile because of Sunset’s kindness. Without even trying, with little confidence in herself, Sunset had given light to that young child’s life. And to so many others across this city, Sunset, this girl of fire, had brought light and new life to so many. Whether it was with her kindness and endless forgiveness, her limitless compassion, the day she had fought back ancient monsters from another realm, or when she had stood tall against the most wicked man the West End had ever seen and brought freedom to an entire city… Sunset had left an indelible, unmistakable mark on the world, and nothing would be the same without her. She was one that this world desperately needed. It needed her wisdom, her will, and her warmth for so many reasons that they were too numerous to count- it needed her now, and when this war would finally come to an end as all wars do. It needed someone as kind, as loving, as gentle, someone as good… as her. It needed her for when there would be insurmountable grief, when anger burned and twisted reason, when darkness rose out from the black and needed to be struck back in a way the sword could never understand. She was light, a light on earth that the darkness could not hope to understand, for she had not been born of darkness. It could only fear and shudder at her presence, just as Jester had become ill and weakened because of her very existence. She had defeated the darkness simply because she was good. I remembered an old proverb my mother had taught me, long ago when I was just a small child… Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends… here I stood, one who had been born of darkness and brought out by love greater than I had ever known, a love that wept over the lost souls she had never met. A love that had to be protected. We had once promised each other something: an unswerving dedication to each other. To build each other up, to be held to a standard so as to make the other shine all the more brighter. A promise to do what was right and good. Despite my protests and my growing fears, against all that I wished to do, I knew the truth lay before me: I could not run from this fight. I could not flee when wicked men threatened to destroy the lives of so many, just as a wicked man had threatened to do with me. I had been spared from such a fate because of the actions of one person. Maybe, even though I was but a lone soul, I could do the same here and now. I watched a local recruitment commercial, quickly jotting down notes for what I would need. I made a plan to talk to Manny first before I went, making sure I would be well-prepared for what would lie ahead. It was going to be dark and difficult, even in these early days, but the choice was clear: I couldn’t run now. As I finalized a backpack full of papers and documents, I paused as I heard Sunset moan in her sleep, tossing and turning yet again. My heart clenched with dismay as I realized I had made her yet another promise, only a few short weeks ago: a promise to leave the fight behind. No more, I had sworn. No more violence, no more fight, but instead to lead a life of peace evermore. But here I was now, already preparing to break that promise in the hopes of seeing her through this nightmare safe and unharmed for the day when the world would need her touch. “Baby, I am so sorry,” I whispered, setting down beside her and stroking my fingers through her hair. “I know you made me promise… I hope you’ll understand.” Hey, had some stuff I had to do today, might be gone a while. See you when I’m done. I couldn’t help but cringe when I sent the message, tossing my phone aside onto the empty passenger seat and trying my hardest to ignore the feelings of utter disgust I had over what I’d just done. I had snuck off early in the morning while she was still sleeping, leaving a $20 on the kitchen table so she could get some food. We didn’t have much left in the fridge, now that we had come so close to our departure. I turned right and parked on the street, across from Manny’s gym. It would likely be the very last time I would ever enter this place, and I hated the reasons that had brought me here. But I knew I was doing the right thing, even if my methods were- well, abhorrent and sneaky and even downright dirty. I felt myself give a shudder and I knew I’d have to get this done before my resolve gave out. As usual, he left the door unlocked whenever he was in. The place was still closed, and wouldn’t open for a couple of hours, so it was no surprise to find the place dimly lit, the only source of light filtering from his office doorway and one small light above the practice ring where Manny now stood. He was dressed in full rattle, a rare sight even to me. His face was dripping sweat –how long had he been practicing?- and each blow and movement sent droplets flying. He was not the champion he had once been, but he was still the greatest fighter I had ever met. The burning concentration in his eyes, the accuracy of his strikes, the solid movement of his feet all spoke of a man who had spent a lifetime waging a war. It struck me just how little I really knew about my old mentor. He didn’t keep any of the clippings from his professional career, he never spoke of his greatest fights or the goliaths he had toppled. He’d been married once, I knew that much- he kept the ring in a small box on his desk. He had been sent to prison, the numbers from his jacket framed on the wall, but not once had he told me why. He’d never bothered to tell me much of anything about himself at all. He’d always been focused on the task at hand, too occupied with his work and teaching his pupils. I wished I could have thought to ask him. Too late, now… “You look like you’ve seen the land of the dead, mi ariete,” he said to me when I came walking up to the ring. “Haven’t been sleeping, I’ll bet.” “Who can sleep nowadays?” I replied. “You know the gym’s closed right now. Besides, you should be getting ready to go, you’ve only got a few days left.” “Manny, you know why I’m here,” I said plainly. “I can’t be the only one who’s come by to talk to you.” Manny gave a long sigh, rubbing a towel across his sweaty face. He suddenly looked old, decrepit even. “You’re probably the fifth,” he admitted, tossing the towel away. “Though most of them had far less to lose. Does she know you’re going to do this?” “She doesn’t even know I’m here.” Manny took pause at that. “Does she not want you to go?” he asked. “Most likely. Odds are she’s gonna kill me.” “Ooh, stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered darkly, hand across his brow. “You should’ve spoken with her first before coming here… are you sure of this?” “I have to do this,” I said firmly. “There’s no other choice.” “Don’t fool yourself, flubber. There’s always a choice. You didn’t have to come here, you didn’t have to seek me out. You could fade west, you can continue right on with your plan and go your merry little way, the two of you happily together and safe. You know that. So I’m going to ask you again, are you sure of this?” I took my time to mull it over before giving one slow, measured nod. “Yes.” “Alright, then,” Manny said sadly. “Let me see what you’ve got to make sure you have everything, and then we’ll head on down. There’s one on Taylorsville that’s not too far away, but odds are there’s going to be a ton of traffic, so let’s get hurrying…” Forty minutes later I was sitting in a sterile government building, surrounded by men and women of all ages and races. Some looked even younger than me -my mind drifted back to the 40’s when so many boys had lied about their age so they could get in, was that happening again right before my eyes?- and others looked old enough to be one of these kids’ parents. I recognized a few faces every now and then, some from my old life that I had known in the West End, while a few more I knew from school. I saw a member of the school’s football team, a wide receiver we all called Thunderlane, sitting down with an old sergeant in the back rear. I recognized another being led into a room with a small computer –Brawly, I think was his name, but I wasn’t all too sure. “Thanks for getting me here, Manny,” I said, tossing him my keys. “Can you keep it in a safe place for me until I’m done?” “She’ll be waiting for ya once you’re free tomorrow,” he replied. “Be smart.” Tomorrow? “Wait, tomorrow?” he had left before I could say anything, but I now felt more uncomfortable than ever. This was going to take me all day? Sunset was going to kill me. I was behind about five or six other guys who had arrived just a couple of minutes before me. I was warned by one of them that I’d be waiting a while, as they’d been there an hour already and still hadn’t been seen by one of the recruiters. Thankfully, one of the boys didn’t have all his correct paperwork and another was told right then and there that he would be found medically ineligible, so the process went as quick as it could. She introduced herself as Sergeant First Class Namara, a former MP. She looked exhausted, mentioning that she had been working almost non-stop ever since the Manhattan attack. She seemed pretty happy that I had all my paperwork together in hand, and once she had me go through a quick questionnaire and medical checklist, I was told to wait with a group who’d already been cleared where I would be taken to a place called MEPS to begin the process. “You’ll only be completing the ASVAB today,” she told me. “Your enlistment check begins early next morning, so try to get some sleep at the hotel where you’ll be staying.” I hope I didn’t visibly wince, as I hadn’t anticipated having to stay overnight. I had the sinking feeling I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole from which I wasn’t getting out of. A couple of hours passed and I was downtown staying at the best hotel in the city with a group of about twenty other guys. I wasn’t really sure how to judge my ASVAB score, but my recruiter told me it was a fairly standard result. As long as I passed was good enough for me. We were given a quick lecture outside before we had been brought into the hotel: no leaving the premises, no smoking, no drinking, no sex and so on. We were then brought upstairs and into a small room where we had to sign in. Just as I was putting my name down I heard a familiar voice say, “Thought ah saw you.” “Big Mac!” The massive farmboy looked disproportionately out of place in this tiny room, even more so when taking into account his country looks against such an urban backdrop. I rushed over to him, giving the man a friendly whack on the back. “What- what are you doing here?” “Same as you, by the looks of it,” he said. “Army?” “Yeah, I only just got here… does- umm, does AJ know you’re here?” “Eeyup,” he said with a nod, before looking down at me with suspicion. “Does Sunset know you’re here?” My smile became strained and grew into a grimace as I realized there was no good way to answer that question. “Eehm…. Uh, well, uh- I… aw, hell…” Big Mac took a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaving me anxiously awaiting his judgement. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he said tonelessly, “Ah ain’t the one to tell you what to do.” “Thanks, Big Mac,” I said quietly, that horrible feeling of shame rising in me yet again. “Do me a favor… don’t tell anyone I’m here just yet. Let me be the one to say it.” “Eeyup.” We ended up rooming together, something I was thankful for. I’d been getting prodded with questions by the other guys I’d traveled with, and there was no such threat with Big Mac. I’d worked with him long enough now to know that he wouldn’t say anything. Our dinner that night was quick and uncomfortable. We didn’t eat much, heading straight back to our room once we were done. We’d been warned we’d have to get up early- extremely early, so as to get some breakfast and get everyone over to MEPS. It would be a very long day, with no caffeine to help us through the ordeal. Thankfully, I was pretty tired from the stress of the last couple days and little sleep, so I had little difficulty slipping into the sheets and getting some rest- My phone went off and Sunset’s number appeared on the screen. I let it ring a couple times as I had a mini-panic in my brain. I had no clue what to say, what to tell her, how was I going to pull this off-? “Hey, beautiful girl,” I said hoarsely. “Hey.” Her voice was soft and distant. Anxious. “Are… are you OK, are you doing OK?” My mouth was dry. “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. Don’t worry, I’m good. Sorry I’ve been so quiet all day, I’ve been busy.” “I guess you must have been, you’ve been gone all day!” she sounded a bit more cheerful now. “I’ve missed you. It’s- it’s been bad on the news today and I’m- baby, I’m scared right now…” “Don’t be scared, it’s going to be OK,” I quickly replied. “I promise, we’re going to be alright.” “I know, I know. Just… I can’t believe this is happening right now. How can something like this happen?” My mind flashed to a memory of Jester. “I wish I could tell you,” I said. “So… so where are you right now? It’s getting pretty late,” she inquired, making my stomach fall to somewhere near my ankles. “Uh…” I stole a glance over at Big Mac, who was getting up to go into the bathroom, taking great care to not slam the door. “Mom called me a bit ago, asked me to help her move some stuff around in her apartment. I’ll probably be pretty late, so just go to bed if you’re tired. Don’t wait up for me, OK? You haven’t been feeling your best the past couple days.” “Alright, I will. Don’t be out too late, OK?” “I promise,” I said, trying to ignore what felt like several small, sharp knives plunging themselves into my heart. “Alright, I’ll let you go, tell your Mom I said ‘hi’ for me. Love you.” “Will do. Love you,” I mumbled, putting down my phone and trying to hoist my stomach back into its proper position. I collapsed back onto the bed with a heaving sigh, somehow feeling completely empty yet full of shame. I’d just lied. Completely, totally, and utterly lied to her without a moment’s thought. There would be no sleeping tonight. The ride back to my car had been a silent one. Big Mac had been decent enough to give me a ride all the way back to Manny’s gym where my car awaited me in the back. When we arrived, I gave him a quick nod and left, watching as his battered pickup went sailing off back towards the outskirts of town. It would only be a few days until I would see him again. After all, we were both headed to the same place. I looked down at my paperwork, having been told to keep it safe and secure for my return visit when I would be shipped off. I read the assignment: Fort Benning as a 19D- Cavalry Scout. A job that would be desperately needed to scope and secure the frontier of the war ahead, we were told. And one of the most dangerous jobs in the military. I popped in my keys and headed back to the apartment, powering on my phone and throwing it aside. The moment the system began to function, the device erupted in a cacophony of vibrations and ring tones. I felt myself sinking into the seat as I knew full well it was Sunset. She was probably worried, wondering where I was and why I hadn’t responded to her at all. We’d been forced to surrender our phones the moment we’d begun the process, so even if I wanted to respond with any semblance of a reasonable explanation, there was no way I could have. For the first time in our relationship, I was afraid to see her. Afraid of what she would say, what she would do… worried that my decision would cost me her heart. I pulled in to the parking lot of the apartment complex, grabbing my phone and looking at all that I had missed: 6:30- Where are you? I just woke up and you’re not home yet. 7:00- Please pick up, I’m getting worried. 7:15- Missed Call 7:20- I just called your Mom and she said she never saw you yesterday. WHERE ARE YOU? 8:30- PLEASE pick up. 9:00- Missed Call 9:15- Missed Call 9:25- Missed Call I couldn’t bear to keep watching and threw the phone into my pocket, unable to stomach any further. I couldn’t imagine what was going to await me the moment I walked in that door. As I fished out the key, I took a deep breath and braced myself for the veritable assault that was sure to come. She was sitting straight up on the couch, clutching her pillow like it was a lifeline, her phone practically glued to her ear as she talked. “Yes, I’ve been calling all day, there hasn’t been a single response- Yes, was supposed to be back last… Oh thank God!” She rushed me and threw her arms around me, enveloping me in a hug that I surely didn’t deserve. “Where were you?” she demanded, looking sweet-faced yet absolutely stricken. “I’ve been calling all morning- ever since I woke up and I saw you were still gone- I’ve been worried sick about you! I didn’t know where you were or what you were doing, I’ve been calling everyone like crazy to see if they knew anything… Don’t do that to me, please! Never, ever again! I was scared something had happened to you- maybe one of Wanyama’s old members had found you or something…” My stomach was gone, eviscerated by guilt. I felt utterly hollow, giving a shudder as I knew the worst was yet to come. I took her arms from around my waist, slowly extracting myself from her grip. “I need to talk to you,” I said hoarsely. She looked up at me, her relieved expression quickly reverting to one of concern. “You look… what’s wrong, what happened?” she said, cupping my face in her hands. “Tell me, please.” I opened my mouth to speak and could only give a small squeak. I desperately, desperately didn’t want to do this but I had to- right here, right now. I led her over to the couch, sitting her down and taking a place in front of her. “Look, I need you to listen,” I said quietly. “I wasn’t over at my Mom’s last night. When I left yesterday morning I was headed over to Manny’s to get a ride to the recruiting station.” “Recruiting station…” she gave a gasp and her eyes went wide as she put it together. “You- no-” I went in for the full-plunge, confessing, “I went and joined the Army.” The silence was thick, as impenetrable as cold hard steel, I kneeling on the floor before her as she became rigid like a statue. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, could barely even breathe. All she could do was stare at me in complete and total shock. “You did what?” she finally managed, her voice so small it was barely audible. I nodded. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you but I didn’t know how you’d react-” “No.” She stood up before me, running her fingers through her hair madly. “There must- this is a joke. You’re playing some kind of really sick prank-” “Babe I wish I was but this is the 100% truth. I went and signed up, I’ve been cleared and everything-” “Then we get you out of it,” she said fiercely, a strange look overcoming her beautiful features. Not anger, not sadness, but something far, far worse. “There has to be a way out, you can’t- you can’t just-” “I know you’re probably mad and this is a pretty big shock but please hear me out or else you won’t know-” “No!” She insisted. “No, this is wrong, this is- you can’t just go do something like this, you can’t leave, there has to be a way to get you out of this!” “I can’t, it’s too late. I’ve signed the contract, I’ve been sworn in. By order of the Army, I am to report to Fort Benning this coming Saturday.” I opened my bag and handed her my orders, she recoiling when it fell into her hands. Carefully, as if worried it would come to life and attack, she took hold and read the words printed on one small sheet of white paper that now determined the course of my future. Time passed and she said nothing, now beginning to grip the paper so tight it threatened to tear. I still stood there, waiting for her to do something, anything at all… “Please, I need you to listen to me-” The punch came with such force that there was no way I could have ever prepared for it. it was a perfect hit, crashing into my jaw and hitting me so hard that I toppled and fell back hard, slamming into the ground and was left dazed. Towering above me was the small, petite young girl that had struck me, her whole body shaking with raw emotion. Her face was wracked as tears began to fall from her eyes, mouth quivering as reality threatened to overwhelm her and send her into a panic. Suddenly those eyes of hers went ablaze. “How could you?!” she shrieked, finally losing control. “How could you do this to me?! I spent all day being afraid that something awful had happened to you and I FORCED myself to not think you were dead and gone- and this is what you go and do?! You sign up to go get yourself killed?!” I had nothing I could say in reply, unable to muster a single word to my defense as I lay there watching as the love of my life broke before me. I would rather have been shot than to hear her scream like that. “I spend every day thinking about you!” She carried on, her tears dripping down at my feet. “I get up every day and you are the first thing on my mind and every time you would get hurt it- it would tear me apart because I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt and I was so scared when Jester was going to kill you because I really and truly thought that was going to be it- I was actually going to lose you!” “Sunset, I want to tell you what I was thinking but-” “The day we went to visit your Mom in the hospital, and you promised your Mom that you’d put away the fight once and for all, I was so happy because I’d wanted you to be nothing but safe and happy and right beside me for the rest of our lives, and there you were- saying everything I wanted you to say, everything I believed you could be, were meant to be! And then you went and gave me that same promise, swearing to me that we wouldn’t let each other go and that we’d always be beside each other-” “Sunset, I promise I can at least try to explain this-” “And then we prepare for a future together, we start talking about raising a family, having the rest of our lives to be with one another- we bought an apartment together, we were going to move together and leave this place and leave our sins behind! And this- this is how you keep your promise? By breaking it in two right before me?” “Sunset, please let me tell you just exactly-” “Will you just listen to me!” she screamed, her voice reaching an octave strong enough to shatter glass. She was a broken mess, tears staining her cheeks and soaking the floor at her feet where I still lay helpless, unable to say or do a thing to console her. My beautiful sunshine girl, my best friend, love of my life, was broken and it was because of me… “You- you lied to me,” she choked. “You went and lied and now what are we supposed to do? We’re supposed to move in three days! And instead of you being there right with me, you’re going to go off some place and get- you’re going to go to war, and- and-” She gave a gut-wrenching cry and dashed off to her room, slamming the door behind her with such ferocity that it may very well have shook the building. May as well have just put a knife in my heart, too- what was left of it. I’d done what I did because I loved her, because I was willing to pay whatever cost it took to keep her safe. Instead, I may have just made her irreparably, irrevocably heartbroken… and I right along with her. She didn’t come out of her room all day. I waited outside her door for hours in the hopes that she’d let me say something to her. Anything at all that could be used as a chance to explain my actions- well, the few I could justify. There was no way I could overcome the fact that I had lied to her and betrayed her trust. I couldn’t think of what to do. I’d gone and done what I knew to be right, but I had gone about it in such a horrible manner that I may have done something irrevocable. In the hopes of protecting the one I loved I may have instead spurned her away from me forever. I was terrified of the thought that I could genuinely lose her because of this. After all the time and effort we’d given one another, that my one choice would be the thing that tore us apart. I couldn’t live with that. It was too much for me to take. I couldn’t go and do this if she was to cast me aside. I had to fix this. Sometime around midnight I tried knocking on her door, asking her to come out and talk to me. I didn’t get a single sound in response. After trying to illicit a response for about an hour, I gave up and wandered back to the couch, crashing and falling asleep within minutes. Nearly three days of endless stress and exhaustion was too much for me to take, even when I felt worse than death. I don’t know how long I slept. I hadn’t really bothered to keep track of time since I’d returned. But instead of darkness the sun was shining through, the living room so it was likely sometime in the late morning. I felt wretched, the misery of the previous day settling in the pit of my stomach and festering like a virus. As I rose off the couch my head began to swim and as my vision blurred I was certain I was going to be sick- I lost my equilibrium and fell to the floor, too tired and miserable to do anything but lay there and take it. I had never hated myself more than in that moment. I had tried to make a choice to protect the ones I loved and instead I had done something irrevocable- and I was too weak to even lift myself up off the floor! What kind of world needed me to be a soldier? This was all so wrong… I forced myself to hold back tears. I couldn’t fall into self-defeat here, not now. It was too close, the moment where I’d have to be invincible was only a short time away. If I let myself break now, I’d never make it. But the only way I could mend was if I tried to talk to Sunset. Slowly, each move made with great care, I got up to my feet and tried to stand, forcing my head to clear itself. Using the wall as a brace, I meandered on unsteady feet to her door and knocked. Nothing. Not a single sound. “Sunset, please talk to me,” I said thinly. “I know you’re angry with me, but please let me talk to you so I can at least explain why.” I thought I heard the rustling of sheets but it was a sound so faint that I couldn’t be sure. Just like yesterday, not a single way to know she was even listening. I took a deep breath. “Sunset…” my voice threatened to break. “Sunset, please… I need you to talk to me. I- I can’t really understand what you’re going through but I need to hear from you. I can’t do it if this is how we end… I, I don’t want to do this, I promise. I don’t want to leave you…” That door opened so fast that I nearly lost my balance. She was a complete wreck, her hair frazzled, black circles around her eyes and face stained red from tears. But worst was her eyes, possessing a pained and fearful look gained only through seeing a nightmare. “You need to tell me why,” she said shakily. “Why did you go without even telling me, why did you blatantly lie to me?” My mouth and opened and closed as I tried to say something, anything- “I, I- Sunset, please… I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I- I was scared a-a-and, I was worried and I had to do something but I didn’t know what to do and…” I forced myself to take a series of deep breaths in the hopes of regaining my composure. “Why did you lie to me?” she pressed. “You promised me you were going to leave it behind.” “And I want to, I want to so bad,” I insisted. “I don’t want to go do this, I don’t want to leave you at all but I can’t just- just sit here and do nothing at all, I have to go!” “No you don’t!” she pleaded, putting her arms around me and pulling me towards her. “You don’t have to go and fight, it doesn’t have to be you! Let it fall to someone else- don’t go! We can run away from this, we can get away and be free!” “I- I can’t do that, you know I can’t! We promised each other that we’d push each other to do the right thing and- and- and- that’s what we do! I can’t go back and be that kind of person anymore! I can’t let it happen again!” “Let what happen again?” “Discord and- and Sombra, they’re… they’re no different from Jester, right?” I said, absolutely struggling to hold it together. “Jester was cruel and wicked and foul and monstrous and so many people died because of him and there I was when I could’ve done something to stop him but I didn’t! I- I can’t just- when I saw Discord’s face all I could see was the man who’d- killed and- and destroyed everything he touched and I thought that it’s just happening all over again- Jester, and- and Discord and Sombra, they’re just- there’s always gonna be people like them and they’ll destroy everything unless someone stops them, and I c-can’t just stand by and do nothing anymore!” Sunset couldn’t look at me, her face scrunching up as though she was swallowing a bitter pill. “Then that settles it,” she sputtered. “I’m in. I’m going with you.” Absolute horror. “No. You can’t!” “I’m not going to leave you, I won’t let you!” “And I won’t let you!” I insisted. “You can’t go!” “And why not?!” she demanded, a fresh wave of tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “Why do I have to stand by- I can’t just wait like some weak helpless little girl for you to leave and then never come back-” “I can’t see you get hurt,” I said fiercely. “Sunset, Manhattan was the worst thing I’ve ever seen and- and I started dreaming and having nightmares of what could’ve happened if that had been you- what if that had been you? If you’d been hurt or –God forbid you were killed- you saw what happened when my Mom got shot, what if that had been you?” I could feel a stinging sensation in the corner of my eyes. “Sunset, you- you are so special and amazing and I will never meet another person like you, and there are so many people out there who need you whole and safe and happy and if I just stand- or- or run, then I’ve never changed at all!” “You don’t have to go!” she insisted. “You don’t have to- to pay for your mistakes, your sins, any of it- you’re not who you were anymore, you don’t have to go and try to prove it!” She looked me straight in the eye. “Please, stay with me. Stay with me and leave this behind forever.” “Sunset…” I struggled for what I had to say, each word like a shard of glass. “Don’t ask me to be someone I’m not. You and I swore we would push each other to do the right thing- don’t turn back on that promise now.” Silence fell between us, both our arguments having come to their end. Sunset’s head dipped and she buried her face in her hands, falling back against the wall and slowly slipping down to the ground, unable or unwilling to face me. I collapsed right with her, laying down across from her. I didn’t dare put a hand on her- my mind drifted back to when she had been overwhelmed by Octavia’s bullying and I knew I couldn’t force this. I couldn’t force a response out of her, I couldn’t make her agree with me, and I couldn’t end this whenever I wanted to. The choice of what to do next belonged to her and her alone. “Sunset…” I began, “I’m terrified. I’m scared of what this world could do to you, and the thought just- dammit, I can’t bear to lose you. I’m sorry I lied, and I am so sorry I broke my promise. I wanted to keep it- I wanted to walk away from all this awfulness once and for all, but I can’t keep that promise and still do the right thing. I was… afraid that if I told you… I was afraid I’d lose my nerve and I wouldn’t be able to follow through because you’d try to talk me out of it and all I want for you is to be happy and I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you so scared and upset so I had to wait until it was done for me to say anything. I don’t wanna go. I’m scared of dying, but the thought of losing you is- Sunset, it’s something I can’t stand. So I’ll throw myself into the dark and I’ll fight one last time- if that’s what it takes to keep you safe.” She said nothing, tightening herself into a ball in the corner. If she had listened to my words she gave no indication of it. “I’m going to go, for now,” I said, rising to my feet and grabbing my keys off the coffee table. “I’ll let you be alone, if that’s what you want.” I closed the front door and headed down to the car, getting in and driving off with no real purpose or destination. I drove simply to drive, no plan or hope or future left but the battlefield ahead. I ran a few red lights, went darting past more than a couple stop signs and probably flirted with death far more than I should have. Strange that I should be so careless when my goal was to preserve life, not extinguish it. I eventually came to notice that I was heading away from the center of the city and towards the outskirts of town, urban giving way to suburban, and eventually to green farmland- I was heading down the road that led to Sweet Apple Acres. Apparently my mind had intertwined the farmgirl so tightly with aid that I was instinctively led to the place when I was upset. I soon came upon the address and began to wind my way down their driveway, coming to a halt beside the barn. There was little activity on the property. The usual menagerie of animals and frenetic work by the farmhands was absent, as if the farmland was already in mourning, grieving the departure of its quiet, steady young man. I noticed another car was parked next to the porch- Rainbow Dash was here, presumably to see AJ about something. I could hear a grunting noise coming from inside the barn, so I pushed open the door to see Big Mac hard at work, tossing hay bales into a pile in the back corner. “Hey, Big Mac,” I said, walking up next to him. “Eeyup.” I tried to make some semblance of conversation. “What’re- what’re you doing?” “Tossing hay bales,” he answered. “Yeah. Yeah…” He eyed me for a few seconds before grabbing a nearby bale and tossing it at my feet. “Wouldn’t mind an extra hand,” he said. Suddenly I had the great desire to join right in. “Sure. Yeah, I think I will,” I said, hoisting the heavy bale and tossing onto the growing pile. We worked for a few hours, stacking the pile so high that it threatened to breach the roof. It was mundane, dirty work and the two of us were red-faced and sweaty when we were done. But it had been a welcome distraction and I’m sure Big Mac knew that. “Welp… thanks,” he said, turning around and heading back for the farmhouse. As I turned to join him, I saw the familiar figure of a farmgirl I knew so well; Stetson draped across her brow, her boots polished until they shone, same faded denim skirt. Her brother paused at the doorway, AJ giving him a small squeeze of his arm before he headed off, turning into the house and disappearing. “He told me you’d been there soon as he got back,” she said. “Said you were worried about Sunset.” I nodded. As usual, she already seemed to know the whole story before I had even said a single word. I decided that this time, it was her turn to speak. “Apple Bloom’s real upset, too,” she continued. “Big Mac was always looking after her when we were young. We’ve… well, we’ve always been together. And now we’re not goin’ to be. It’s hard to take, ah guess.” “How’s Granny taking it? How’re you taking it?” I asked. We walked out into the open air, heading for the front porch. “Granny’s been pretty quiet about it, but she’s stronger than she looks. She’ll be OK. Rainbow’s here to visit for a bit, so ah think a little distraction was just what Granny needed.” “Why is Rainbow here? She OK?” Applejack hesitated, stealing a quick glance at me. “She’s been a bit outta sorts the past couple days. Been arguin’ with Fluttershy and Rarity off an’ on. She came to ask me for help ‘bout something- she’ll be fine, don’t worry yourself none. You got other things to think about.” “AJ… really, how are you doing?” I asked. She gave a long, whispy sigh and sank onto the steps of the porch. “Ah wish he didn’t have to go,” she answered. “Ah wish you didn’t have to, either. But ah know why you’re leavin’. It’s just… this is really it. This is really happenin’.” “I wish we didn’t have to go,” I replied. “I wish I didn’t have to leave, but- but…” “You don’t have to explain it to me none, sugarcube,” AJ replied gently. “Just know ah’m proud of you. You never would’a done this when we first met.” We sat there in silence, watching the clouds drift past. It was probably the last time we would ever do this. Our last time to simply be friends, to enjoy one another’s company. It was a beautiful day for it. “Ah wish it didn’t have to be this way,” she said sadly, her expression forlorn. “Ah hate that things gotta be this way. Ah’ve helped fight monsters, ah’ve gone through grief and sadness and pain, but ah’d take that all over again if it meant the world didn’t have to be such a mess.” She gave a sigh. “But it is… so ah know that this is what’s gotta be done. We always gotta do the next right thing… right?” I nodded. “It was good while it lasted, AJ… thanks for everything. You were my best friend.” “You were family,” she said simply, putting her arms around me and giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Ah love ya. You were mah kin, just as good as Big Mac and Apple Bloom.” Oh, how good it had been. We’ been friends, we’d laughed, we’d cried, seen some crazy things happen in the world. She was, in many ways, my first true friend that I had ever known. I couldn’t begin to put it into words. “You come by and visit whenever you can, y’hear?” she said. “Keep in touch as much as ya can, we’ll always be glad to hear from you.” “You got it, sister,” I assured her. “See you around.” Applejack gave me one last hug before retreating back into her home, strolling past a rainbow-haired girl who apparently had been lurking behind us. “Hey, Rainbow,” I greeted. “Hey,” she said nervously, tugging at the sleeves of her shirt. “I just- I just wanted to say…” she looked distinctly uncomfortable, on edge and unhappy. “I know that you’re- I know I shouldn’t be- I wish that inst- instead… I just… wanted to say…” She made a move towards me and instantly took it back, retreating back into herself. “Goodbye,” she mustered, her head hanging as she gave up and returned to the farmhouse where her friend waited. I would’ve sworn she looked back at me one last time before she disappeared. I stalled my return to the apartment for an hour or two longer, taking in my city for one last time in all its fullness. It had been the sight of so many ups and downs that there weren’t enough books in the world to write them all down. First loves, first heartbreaks, challenges and struggles and fights and victories that had meant the world- and now I was to leave this place behind forever. I’d been looking forward to the day when I would depart. Sunset and I had been hoping for it for weeks now, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be happy, we were supposed to be beside one another as we made the journey as one. Instead, she would be saying goodbye as I made my own journey to the most dangerous places on earth in the hopes that somehow we’d find a way to stop a pair of madmen from destroying everything left. The sun was beginning to fall beyond the horizon when I finally returned, pulling into the parking lot and heading back up the stairs to the place where I’d come to make my home. I knocked on the front door before entering- I had the key, but if she still wanted to avoid me, I wanted to give her that right. The TV was off when I came back in. It had been on constantly since the attack, so she must have taken the effort to turn it off herself. Maybe now with me heading to war myself she couldn’t stand to listen any longer. However, Sunset herself was nowhere in sight. Her bedroom was empty, the bathroom door shut and the lights on. She’d at least moved. I felt a little better when I saw the kitchen sink had a few dishes in it, so she must’ve eaten, too. I was beginning to get worried, it’d been a while since I’d seen her eat. Feeling the gnawing sensation of hunger myself, I grabbed some bread for a sandwich and began to eat, trying to fill the void in my stomach. I was going to need whatever I could get in the days ahead. I took my usual place on the couch, leaving the TV remote untouched. I didn’t need to hear anymore or see anymore. Soon, I would be there myself watching it unfold. I would be taking part in the conflict- for however long I didn’t know. I had to face reality, people died in war. This was a scale of warfare we hadn’t seen in decades, this could be something the like of which we’d never see again, and the likelihood… that I would be coming back was- it was small… I turned to ice and the last remains of my sandwich fell to the floor- I right along with it. My breathing intensified, becoming rapid and shallow as I tried to gain control of myself. But with each passing moment I became more unhinged, more stunted by terror of the unknown, of the nightmare that lay ahead- God in heaven, I could die! It didn’t even have to take long! The very first step I could take in battle could be my very last with the help of a single bullet! Gone would be my promise to protect Sunset and everyone else I was leaving behind, and there she’d be left alone in a world that was tearing itself apart, free and ready to destroy everything that made her truly beautiful and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it! I couldn’t do this, what was I thinking? How could I protect anyone in a world like this-! “Don’t, please! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Sunset’s voice came across a great distance, the feeling of her hands wrapping around my wrists more akin to the kiss of the wind. “Breathe, in and out. You’re going to collapse if you don’t try to calm down.” I could see the carnage ahead, spread out before me like the haunted wastes of No-Man’s Land. Corpses littered the ground in pieces and fragments, horrible stains across the muddy battlefield. There was no sunlight, there was nothing green, nothing even alive in a land ruled by the dead- “Don’t listen to whatever’s whispering in your ear! You’re stronger than it!” Sunset called. “You are so much stronger than it, I promise you! Don’t listen for even a moment!” The wastelands darkened skies began to rupture as sunlight broke through the clouds, searing the ground below and calling out for the life that lay tucked beneath the miasma of death and destruction, beckoning for the world to rise again… “That’s it. Don’t listen to anything but me! Don’t let it beat you- keep fighting!” Slowly, surely, the clouds began to dissipate, unable to withstand the rays of the sun that pushed through and tore away at the darkness, filling the void with its life and power until… Until all I could see was the worried eyes of a beautiful young girl sitting before me, her eyes full of fire and concern and her hands reaching up to stroke my face and bring my cold body back to life, back from where it had once been. “Come back to me,” she whispered, leaning in and leaving a most gentle kiss on my lips, letting her warmth fill me and set my soul afire. Whatever fears and inhibitions had claimed me were destroyed in the moments her lips met mine, I unable to focus on anything but the softness of her skin and the feel of her hands on my face, because there was nothing on this earth more important to me than the life that knelt before me, the girl who had given me her love… “I don’t want to go,” I said as we broke apart. “I don’t wanna do this, I can’t do this I can’t- I’m not good enough, not strong enough or brave enough and I don’t want to let you go…” “Shh,” Sunset whispered, taking a seat on my lap and wrapping me in her arms. “Don’t… don’t believe it, even for a moment. Do you hear me? Don’t you ever let someone lie to you like that again.” “Sunset, I am- I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to leave,” I said in a mad rush. “I don’t want to go but I have to and I am terrified-” “I know. I know because I am, too.” She looked straight at me, her eyes stained with sorrow yet so full of light and love that it brought my heart to a standstill. “I’m scared that I’m going to lose you.” She gave a soft, sad smile, unable to find words to comfort her or I. We were together, but we couldn’t ignore the fact that we were just two kids in a big wide world at war. Reality could be incredible- we were living proof of just how good life could be! But it could also be cruel, cold, and it did not discriminate. At any moment it could end. Neither of us were ready for that moment. “I love you,” she said sadly. “I love you so much that I’d give up everything I ever had if it mean I could be with you for just a moment longer in this life. I could spend my entire life searching… but I’d never find someone like you. Because you and I… we were always meant to find each other. To build each other up, to push ourselves to be better. And now, here you are, one who was strong enough to leave the darkness behind… you make the choice to take a stand against it, and do what so many people could never do in their whole lives. Don’t ever tell me you aren’t brave, that you aren’t good enough or strong enough, because I’ve watched you be just that so many times over. You are good, you are brave, and stronger than anyone I have ever met, so don’t doubt yourself now. You and me? We’re going to change the world someday.” I ran my fingers through her hair, wanting to feel it again, to know that she was mine. She had traveled across worlds, fought against monsters and devils, had defeated her own doubts and weaknesses and brought down the man who had held a city captive. And here she was, willing to reject her home, her security and her safety… for me. “I’m going to ask you something,” she said, looking me dead in the eye. “It’s stupid and crazy and unreasonable but I need to ask it anyway so I can hear it from you.” “Anything,” I choked. “Promise me… Promise me that you will always come back to me. That you won’t quit, or give up or give in to despair. That every day you will give it your all and that even when it looks like the end that you won’t believe it, even for a moment! You will believe in yourself like I believe in you, and when this war is over you will come home! You will come back to me and we’ll be together and you will put down your sword once and for all. Promise me that.” “You have my word, my beautiful sunshine girl,” I said fervently. “Then this is what I promise you,” she said fiercely. “I’m going to wait for you, for as long as it takes. I will be there for you every step of the way encouraging you, supporting you and helping you stay strong. I will be there when you say you can’t take anymore because there’s going to be times when you just can’t bear it, and I’ll be right there to help you stand underneath it. When the world feels like it’s ending, when you think you can’t do it, always know that I believe in you and I will not abandon you. Whichever world you call home, that is my home too! I will be there to help you pick up the pieces, to stand strong and no matter what I will always, always love you, and there is nothing in heaven, earth or hell that will ever be able to change that.” We fell into each other’s arms, crying and laughing into one another’s arms. We were a hopeless, helpless wreck of emotions, unable to say anything remotely intelligible as we lay there. We were foolish, clumsy, mistake-prone and emotional, but we were devoted to each other, no matter the consequences. In this crazy, upside-down world full of violence and cruelty and sin and vice, we had somehow crawled out of the wreckage and found one another, and neither of us would let go. We could search the ends of the earth, live the span of a thousand lifetimes, but I knew I would never find someone like her again. No matter what lay ahead, no matter what highs or lows, what heavens or hells awaited, we would find each other. Across seas deserts, battlefields and cities and worlds, we would find each other. I had a long, difficult, and dangerous road ahead of me. But I would fight to the end, to make this madness come to a close, and find some way to bring peace to the place I called home. And no matter what, she would be there waiting for me… until the end.