But we always came back to each other
I felt like I was falling endlessly, down deeper and deeper into the black of an abyssal darkness that I could feel and touch. I was a stone in the ocean, swept back and forth by the currents, carried wherever the earth and wind decided I should be. I was endless, I was everything, and I was nothing at all.
Where was I? Was I even alive? What was existence, to touch the fabric of life and know that you feel, exist, that you are really real? I couldn’t tell who or what I was, but I was alive. I was somewhere very dark, very deep inside, and nestled within a space beyond spaces. I had no control of anything, I couldn’t even tell if I had a body. Just what had happened?
I forced myself to think, if such a thing was possible. Did I have a mind to think with? Everything felt like a monumental effort, a struggle to merely exist in the weight and duress of the fabric of toxic black. Could I remember? Would I even be able to understand it?
A blinding flash in front of me as hundreds upon thousands upon millions of memories came bursting through the void, shining brightly as they raced past the thing that was me. Every time a moment passed, I was part of it yet not part of it at all. I had no body, yet every memory made me full and alive more than I could ever hope to be. I was, yet I was not.
Concentrate now, I focused on that alone. I forced every single fiber of my will to focus and concentrate, to slow the passage of memories and time and put a stopper on the endless dash of existence that was before me. If only I could slow it all down, if only I could reach out and concentrate…
“If only I had a body!” I screamed aloud. A sudden burst of pain and my vision failed me for a time, the consuming pain becoming synonymous with my soul. I could feel everything come to form, the smallest cell growing into the form I had always known. My vision returned and I saw the rest of my flesh, ethereal in shape and form, being born out of the nothingness that was this world. Then finally, when all was done, the pain subsided. I was whole again in this ethereal void.
“Now stop!” I shrieked, and all movement, all light and life around slowed and came to a halt, my fingertips pressed against the invisible glass of the world that had found me. Memories halted and the voices and sounds and smells and sights that I knew yet did not know ceased their flow. They were nothing more than snapshots of someone else’s life, a life that was mine and now was not.
“Focus yourself! Concentrate beyond the void!” I roared, my voice echoing and booming across the empty plane, a cathedral to emptiness and loss of light. The memories began to come alive once more, living works of art that were works of a person’s life. My own. “No! Focus on the moment! Focus on where I am, what brought me here!”
The memories twisted and contorted, suddenly flying into the skies and bursting into an endless shower of stars that burned and seared their way through the inky black. Colors burst through the lights and tore across the night, a display of living fireworks that were marks upon existence- the signature handprint of a person, of a life that had lived and delved into my own.
I could see the colors of those I knew, the memories and sensations and sounds that had been brought by the ones whom had left them. The colors of sand, a bright happy yellowish tan, filled with the warm smells of a home-cooked meal and comfort and sorrow that was born of a shared grief that only she and I would ever know… memories of my Mother. Her color faded in and out, the strength and heft of her touch weaving through my life, even if I had always resisted…
Then the lights went out and I was plunged into darkness, the sounds of horror and fear and the pains of rage and gunshots and endless steel merged together, the countless minds and angers of hatred and jealousy and revulsion of a world I had always known and never trusted, never wanted a part of yet had become everything I knew and what nearly brought me to the point of nothingness and undone. I knew this place, I knew their voices, and the reach of that foul, inky black that tasted like a bitter pill and wove through my wings and drenched me in tar-like oil. I had been so easily part of them for so long, so foolishly bought in and taken apart by them, taking a hold of the pain and agony and the hounds of hell into which I had claimed to be family to, and how much it had become synonymous with who I was yet I was never destined to be. On and on it went in a pitch-black tunnel of stab wounds and flying bullets, of the crack of bones and the bruises and marks of a tired war of attrition with everyone and ourselves, a private war in which I waged to protect and destroy everything and everyone yet nothing at all. No end, no end, no end in sight to the cruelty and malice and consuming wickedness of a man that had bought my soul and shown me how to bring it into dust-
And then burst forth a fiery prism that shown brighter than any sun, more loudly than the scream of hell’s fury, a trumpeting sound of light and touch and taste and so many emotions that to even see them felt like the death of me. The tar and oil and fury that clung to me could not understand the light, for it was not born of it and could not defeat it, even when it would seem all the lights would fade and even go out, only to fire back and burn ever more strongly in the void, giving life and light and shape and form to a place where all that was good and great had faded. I felt more full and awake and alive than anyone or anything in the simple world could ever be or ever hope to be and to see what I could see was a gift from the Lord of Heavens only He could know.
A symphony of smells and colors, of voices and kindness that was tangible and real soaked through me, purifying me from the waste and wreckage into which I had thrust my form, burning away the black and giving me a strength that I had never known, pulling me to my feet and handing me food that was so painful and bitter yet so sweet in my stomach that I knew I would always crave it, even though the first bite seared and scarred and brought shrieks of agony because the darkness still lived in me and could not allow the prism of light to enter in, yet into it I delved, eager to wash away the night and the dark.
The sounds of a farm and the happy feelings of a family that was not mine yet had brought me in and made me part of it. I was theirs and they were mine, a bond unbreakable even in the most brutal and savage distrust and betrayal and frailty of stubbornness and pride that was born of ego and simplicity. The colors of a golden light cascaded me in the sweet smells and sounds of the countryside-
Silver and purple beams shone before me, a loving kindness that bore itself with pride and grace and a newfound joy at knowing what we could be. I was proud and harsh and an uncivilized brute yet had found a place in the heart of one who would make me better and help me to be when I could not be anything at all-
A bright fiery bolt of blue flung itself into me, a powerful punch of cascading rain and sorrow and misunderstanding that tinged the glow and light of happiness and unshakable faith and rivalry of an extraordinary friendship. Champions of battle and masters of fire were we, so different yet so the same as we struggled to understand each other and know our place in a world that was meant for greater ones than we, yet so grateful to know our place was still yet waiting amongst the infinity of a wonderful world-
A myriad of soft yellow and pink fired through, softer and more gentle and more easy to touch than finest silk, a river of limitless kindness and laughter and soft-spoken love that had no place in my own frame of time and life yet had become irreplaceable joys that could not, should never be taken away because to see them flee would be to see the end of so many things that were good and noble and right, even when the whole world seemed so dark and bleak, it was always happy to know that even the darkest of nights could see the faintest pinprick of bright-
And then came the Sol, the sun of a soul so shadowed and tormented yet so bright and full and alive and real and everything I could ever hope to be and experience and share and know, yet so shattered and broken that my existence began to rip and fade at the sight of something so beautiful and so unimaginably agonizing. It was everything I could need or want, the crimson red and sunny yellow blending into an endless tower and wave of love and life and joy and peace that was so intertwined with sorrow and grief and rage and pain of a life that I knew yet did not know, could only know in fantasy and a reality in which I had never been, could never see and be… was this what she knew every day? To live and to love and to laugh yet to carry the weight of two worlds and still push on even when the lights had left you? So strong, so full of sadness and hope, brimming with love and grief, born of a bright spark of life that had all but been extinguished by fury and wrath born in and of herself that I could not touch or even see, because I had not been there, then or now. The Sol rose above and its colors were so bright, yet they did not erase the bright rainbow yet made them shine all the brighter, an endless tidal wave of beauty and perfection that this was the only summation at which I could have arrived.
Memory upon memory shone once more, images of happiness and grief so deeply connected that it was impossible to have one without the other, so the only choice was to take it all, the sum of a whole that meant even the happiest of moments would still bear the weight of a lifetime of wicked decisions, of choices that could never be erased. I drank it all in hungrily, not wanting to waste a single moment of this because to leave even a single droplet behind would be to never truly understand who she was and what she had done, what she would always do and be and continue ever on in hearts and minds and memories that made the world a little brighter…
“I want it,” I said softly, pushing through to the core, being tugged by the blackness that I had left behind that had suddenly plunged ahead and taken hold. It was everywhere in the light of the Sol, flowing forth from my mouth and striking hard at the crimson-yellow light to which I raced. The sound of singing, a wicked symphony of animalistic hatred and hunger crashed down upon me, and memories that were mine yet not mine began to flash before my eyes, of actions and deeds that I carried out yet did not even attempt to bring into the world. I was guilty, guilty of them, yet I was innocent and full of sorrow…
“I want it!” I screamed, thrashing about in the wasteland that had become so void of light and full of night beyond night, the darkness pouring from my mouth and striking out at the colors that had once filled me and brimmed to the point of overflow. They were taking them away, I was taking them away… “No, I must not lose it!”
The continuous vomit of tar and oil never ceased as I ran and struggled against the violence and malice that flowed from within, bogging me down and holding me back from the Sol of crimson fire that shone like the sun. The dark could not understand the light, and feared losing me from its grasp, yet I must leave it behind and plunge forth into the day, even if I, a child of night, would be destroyed by it.
“I will not lose it! I will not let it flee me!” I gagged, swimming through the ink and foul tar of sin and hatred and corruption. “I want to stop pushing it away, I want it to be part of me! I want to be whole again! I cannot lose her, I will not!”
Voices and hands and fingers reached out from the nothingness and tore at my skin, tearing away the body that held me and kept me safe, clawing their way towards the color of me that so needed her. To lose me would be to lose everything, their first and their last triumph of a symphony of night…
“No! I will not, I cannot! I must see her again!” I shrieked, ignoring every tear and sear and agony that I endured as an endless wave of actions and horrors unleashed themselves from me and upon the lights that I loved, craved, needed. “I will not be a puppet! I will not stay here, I will fight back again and again and again until there’s nothing left with which I can fight! I must get to her, I must see her- one last time!”
It seemed as if the night would reign eternal, the infinite pitch of blackness seal away and cross the eternal plane and carry me away, to never let the light of day see the world of which I was now a part of. I reached out my hand, desperate to feel that touch of the Sol, just once more…
The song of a heavenly child flowed through and became like a blade, cutting its way through the fabric of dark and pushing away the black from me, repairing and restoring the form of which was me that had almost been torn away, I now more full and more understood than I ever was before. I knew what I could say, what I would do to find her again, to never lose her and be what I was meant to be. I could only bring a little of that fullness with me, but it was enough to help restore the one that I had lost.
The song grew ever louder, a sweet tangible thing that took the form of a figure I knew and loved beyond imagining, the shape of a soul which I had always been destined to see, to be a part of and help her shine brighter than the brightest of suns. She reached out her hand to me, a newfound smile on her lips as we met and lit up the world, her colors twisting and contorting with my own, the wild freedom exploding and bursting forth into a world that so needed it, so desired something a little imperfect yet still beautiful. It was a sight that I would never tire of seeing, a happiness as the fullness took me in and brought to life the senses of which I had always known, pulling me out of the endless ocean of void and back into the world which I belonged. As the last smile fell onto my lips, I felt her fingers on my face, a gentle caress and gift of the life we had not yet lived, yet would know soon enough. I could hardly wait for it all now.
“He’s awake,” she said. And so I was.
I was shining green in the night.
“He’s awake.”
Indistinct shapes and colors in the slowly fading blackness as my senses began to flicker on once more, slowly coming back to life. I was laying somewhere, but I wasn’t where I was or how I had gotten there. Memories of… something, someplace… so many things had just been racing through my head but I couldn’t remember any of them. What had happened?
I must’ve tried to move, because the voice said again, “Easy, rest for a moment. You were hit pretty hard. Try to breathe.”
Try to breathe! I realized I hadn’t been taking in any air for a while now! That horrible sensation of suffocation paralyzed my throat and I began to thrash about wildly, the blurred images of what I guessed were people surrounding me suddenly backed away. I couldn’t catch a breath! I began to crawl on all fours like an animal, clawing about as if hoping to grasp the air and toss it down my throat.
A pair of arms went around my waist, holding tight with an odd sense of comfort. “It’s coming,” the voice said bracingly, suddenly becoming a little more distinct in the midst of my panic. “It’s going to leave your body, but it’s going to hurt. Get ready, and just let it leave…”
I coughed and spluttered, something foul and slimy slithering its way up my throat. I was going to be sick, I’d never felt anything as wretched as this! I opened my mouth to let it escape, praying that it wouldn’t get stuck on the way up-
The sound of choking was replaced by a long, throaty rasp as a wispy black substance poured forth into the open air, dissolving into an inky mist the moment it made contact with the open air. On and on it went for what seemed like ages as the black stuff streamed from my body, feeling as if it was coming from every pore, every fiber of my being, lighting my body afire. Finally, just before it would seem to be the death of me, the black torrent subsided and floated away, twisting and contorting into a strange, hooved beast before a loud Pop! and it faded away into nothingness.
My body shook with the force it had just exerted, a thousand aches and pains filling the absent spaces where that midnight black mist had once resided. Every single one of my senses was more alert and active than they’d ever been before, registering that I was –even if uncomfortably so- alive. I was alive, I was awake! And I had no clue where I was.
The arms around my waist relented and I felt a strange softness brushing my cheek, making me jump backwards in fright. Touch stirred a memory, a very horrible one- that pain inside my head, was it-
“Easy, easy,” she said softly, gently shushing me as her hands touched my face once more. She came before me and knelt down so as to look me in the eye. I saw her beautiful cyan gaze stare directly into mine, filled with concern and a fire I hadn’t seen before. It was Sunset Shimmer…
“I know you,” I rasped, my throat burning with the effort of even those simple words.
“Yes, you do,” Sunset said happily, the intensity in her gaze increasing. “Now listen to me very carefully, I need you to answer me. Do you understand?”
What questions? I had plenty myself. “Yes,” I said.
“The brand upon your palm, where did it come from?”
The brand, brand, what brand? A memory resurfaced, hazy images blurring my vision. “The mark… it’s Wanyama’s… My Dad forced it upon me when I was a child…”
“Good, good! Now one more!” Sunset looked strange, a mixture of excited and terrified all at once. “Our first date, what did we go do?”
Sights and sounds returned this time, alongside the image of the joyful face of the one I loved. I… I had sworn never to forget… “We saw The Tempest. You loved that one,” I said slowly. “You wore a plaid shirt and a scarf, and we went to a coffee shop afterwards. You told me your favorite color is green and that your favorite movies are Lord of the Rings and we asked so many questions about each other-”
It was as if the lights suddenly went on, as I Sunset had been slowly, gently reigniting the fires within my brain. Suddenly I realized where I was, whom I was with, every memory that I had experienced was mine once more… “What happened to me?” I asked.
“Oh thank God,” Sunset cried, throwing her arms around me in an iron embrace, toppling my weak and entirely unprepared frame to the ground. “I thought y-you we-were gone,” she sobbed, burying her face in my chest, her tears soaking my shirt. “When we found you, you were so… Thank God, thank God, thank God…”
I was utterly overwhelmed. I was back from whatever nightmare I had been trapped in. I was myself, I was in control of my body once more, I was safe and free- and Sunset was here, my beautiful vision, my light, my love. She was unhurt and alive, she was in my arms! I could do nothing but wrap around her tightly, drinking in her scent, thanking the heavens for the feel of her warmth against my frail body. I had no doubt that whatever had come about was because of her. I was absolutely, positively certain.
“You saved me,” I whispered, ignoring the pain every word tore in my throat. I could speak to her, I could feel her touch. It was more than I ever could have asked for.
Sunset couldn’t manage a single word, only tightening her grip on my shirt. It was enough for me to know she had.
“Welcome back to the land o’ the living, sugarcube,” said a nearby voice, a familial and friendly sound. I looked over and saw AJ standing nearby, crouched down and smiling at me with that shared look of relief that Sunset had possessed. It was a pretty good indicator that something fairly bad had happened to me.
“Hey, farmgirl,” I muttered. “Good to see ya- hey, the whole crew’s here.” Indeed they were, from Fluttershy to Rarity, all of my friends were right there with me, one or two worn and a bit tattered, another looking absolutely exhausted, but all of them emanating that shared sense of warmth and relief, that happiness that I was there. The whole thing felt so perfect, so comfortable and peaceful. I was surrounded by those I loved once more…
And then I noticed the new girl, a nerdy-looking, violet-haired girl that I’d only laid eyes on twice in my entire life. If it weren’t for the entirely unusual circumstances that had surrounded her last time, I probably never would have remembered. Instead, every single detail about her was so perfectly clear, even after it being months, even though we never spoke even once.
I scrutinized her just to be sure. “Are- aren’t you Twilight?”
I don’t think she was expecting any attention from me, much less a question like that. She looked utterly taken aback, staring at me in abject confoundment. “Have- have we met?” she asked slowly.
“No, we definitely haven’t,” I grunted, trying to pull Sunset and myself up off the ground-
It was like I’d just been struck with a mallet. I fell back to the ground almost instantly, regretting any movement of my body. Sweet mother of all that is holy, I felt terrible! My body felt like I’d been sucker-punched in every conceivable place and manner known to man, a single movement somehow activating another bruise, if not spawning one! “Wow, that felt bad,” I somehow managed.
“Shoot, forgot about that. Sorry,” AJ said suddenly, leaning down and bringing my arm over her shoulder. “Rainbow, get the other arm. Sunset, darling, gonna need you to move.”
The two of them moved me slowly over to the steps and sat me down, taking great care with each movement so as not to let me fall. I was fairly grateful, as I wasn’t entirely sure I could move on my own just yet.
Pinkie was over at Sunset’s side, who shooed away the party planner with a wave. “No, Pinkie, I’m fine, I’m fine,” Sunset said weakly, wiping her tears yet possessing a smile more brilliant than the sun. “I’m just happy, that’s all.” She turned back to me and said, “You don’t know how close we came to losing you.”
“What in heaven, earth, or hell happened?” I said flatly. “I feel like death, my body feels like one big giant bruise, and I’m outside when I sure as hell don’t remember getting out here. In fact,” I added, raising my head up as much as I could, “the hell are y’all wearing? And where did she come from?” I finished by weakly pointing at Twilight, who shuffled her feet in apparent discomfort.
Sunset sat down beside me, taking my hand in hers. “First things first,” she said gently. “What’s the last thing you do remember? What can you tell us?”
My mind was still pretty fuzzy about everything, but I could distantly remember being in school, I was anxious about something to do with Sunset… I’d meet people, they- they elicited a fear out of me… I’d been…
“I was attacked!” I spluttered. “Those three new girls- I was talking to them and I knew something was wrong with all of ‘em and then all of a sudden my head started hurting like crazy!”
Sunset nodded in approval, as if hoping that was what I was going to say. “It was them,” she said, turning around to calling to Twilight. “Must’ve been hit the moment they got in the school, had it seep through the rest of the students-”
Twilight, who had looked extremely out of place, suddenly came up and peered at me with far more focus than I would’ve cared for from a complete stranger. “I don’t think there’ll suffer any long-term effects,” she said after a few moments, “but keep an eye out the rest of the day, just in case-”
“Somebody please tell me what’s going on,” I begged. “I feel like death, all of y’all look like you just performed an exorcism and you’re talking as if I survived the nuclear apocalypse. Can somebody please just tell me what happened? Like, maybe, why Twilight’s back after being gone for months and what the hell those girls did to me?”
Apprehension. They all reeked of it, looking around at anything except me. I felt more out of the loop than ever. “You mean to say that after all that just-”
“I’ll tell you,” Sunset said suddenly, nearly causing me to lose consciousness once more. I stared at her as if she’d just lost her mind, expecting to see sadness and hesitancy, instead those cyan eyes still burned with that strange fire… the fire I’d so longed to see in her eyes again…
“Are you sure?” I asked.
There was no hesitation. “You deserve to know,” she said. “Just… bear with me, OK? It’s- it’s a long one. It goes for a long time, well before you and I ever met. And it’s going to be a shock. Not just a big one, but a monumental one. So be ready, because…” she became hesitant, looking around uncertainly in the hopes of finding her next words. “It’s- just promise me you’ll listen, OK? That you won’t-”
I raised a finger to her lips, stroking her gently. She relaxed somewhat, eyes closed as she let herself be soothed by my simple gesture. “I’m not gonna leave you again,” I promised. “I’m ready, beautiful. So bring it.”
I wasn’t ready. There was no way in Hell I would’ve been ready to hear what she had to say. What all of them had to say. I was glad I was sitting down already because my already frail frame wouldn’t have been able to stand after the first few seconds. It was all so utterly ridiculous, totally, incredibly, earth-shatteringly unreal. So much to take in all at once that the mere thought that I could handle what Sunset had to say was laughable. It would take me days, months, years- hell, maybe even the rest of my life to ever truly cope with the magnitude of what was dropped on me with the force of a nuclear bomb. It was too unimaginable, too bizarre to ever be something that I could’ve guessed…
The whole theory of other dimensions, of there being other worlds? It was all real, every single stinking world. The proof being Sunset Shimmer herself, a denizen from another world where the entire planet was ruled by –I think I nearly lost consciousness again on this one- talking ponies. Sunset Shimmer was a unicorn pony who had been studying under the tutelage of Princess Celestia, her world’s counterpart to my school principal- an actual goddess who wielded incredible powers and was even capable of controlling the sun itself. Sunset had demanded to become royalty and in the ensuing chaos, she was thrown from her position and found her way into our world, my world, through a portal that appeared in the side of the Wondercolt statue outside of school- that was three years ago.
Twilight Sparkle was Sunset Shimmer’s successor in this parallel universe, a unicorn who had attained princess-hood. She had come here to our world once before when Sunset Shimmer had stolen a powerful artifact, causing her to come here and retrieve it. Sunset Shimmer found the artifact first and turned into a she-demon that took control of the entire school before being stopped by Twilight. That was the night of the Fall Formal, the night I’d spent at home with my mother and heard what had sounded like an explosion. I now knew what had caused the giant hole in the ground outside school.
The three new students I’d run into? I’d been correct, they weren’t human. They were ancient monsters from Sunset’s homeland called Sirens, beasts with beautiful voices that fed on rage and hatred of their victims. The enchantment they’d hit me with was a form of very old, highly arcane magic that allowed them to exert total control over my every thought and action. I had been controlled by the Sirens for the past two days ever since I’d been struck. If it hadn’t been for the girls, Sunset, and Twilight, the Sirens would have been able to push their influence across the entire city. I shuddered at the thought, my mind drifting to Wanyama. God forbid such a power ever reach them…
“For better or worse, that’s the whole story,” Twilight said, getting up and brushing herself off. “I know it must be a lot to take in,” she added apologetically.
“That’s one way of putting it,” I said faintly, desperately wishing I had a cigarette or something make me feel a little less wretched. The pain in my body combining with the shock of what I’d just been told was beginning to make me worry I was going to be sick again.
“Are there… is there anything you wanna ask?” Sunset inquired.
Obvious answer, but I wasn’t sure where to begin. There was too much information to take in, way, way too much. It was like striking someone right in the face with a hammer and asking if they’re hurt. What the hell was this place –Equestria I think they’d called it- like? How in the hell was there a portal to the place right in my school? Did Sunset have a counterpart here in my world, somewhere out there in this crazy country? Was… was I somewhere in hers? Every time I thought I’d finally gotten a good grasp on what I wanted to say it fled me, leaving me sitting there to revel in my dumbfounded astonishment. Utterly useless.
“Are you OK, sugarcube?” AJ asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Ah know it’s a lot ta handle and all… you still look pretty pale, too…”
“I feel terrible. Dry,” I said. “Where are we right now, anyway?”
“Still on the school grounds,” AJ answered. “They had the stage set out in the athletic fields so they could have a place to fit everyone.”
I gave a sigh of relief. “Thank Christ,” I muttered, reaching in my back pocket and tossing her my wallet and my keys. “I’ve got a pack of beef jerky in my car and there’s a soda machine right inside. Get me something, for the love of God. It’s like you’re trying to starve me.”
“Yeah, yeah, bossy jerk,” she said, but smiled nonetheless and went on her way, along with the others.
Sunset hesitated, her gaze darting back and forth between me and the girls, obviously unsure what she should do now. “Are- are you gonna be OK?” she asked timidly.
“I just need something to eat and wash it all down,” I managed, speaking with far more confidence than I felt. I wasn’t at all sure that even with the extra boost from a small meal I’d be able to get on my feet. “Go on, I’ll be fine.”
Sunset gave an awkward smile and ran off, leaving me with the pony princess turn human sorceress Twilight Sparkle. For a time, the two of us sat there in a period of distinctly uncomfortable silence, neither of us sure of what to say to the other. Not that I blame her, we’d never spoken or even met face-to-face before today. What would we have in common?
“So,” she said bracingly, trying to break the silence. “Umm… how long have you known Sunset Shimmer and the rest of the girls?”
“Huh? Oh, a while now,” I answered. “I got transferred to Canterlot High back at the start of the school year. I, uh… ran into Sunset before that.”
“So she told me,” Twilight said gently, and I looked up at her to see a soft expression on her face. “She was worried about you, you know. The entire time we were occupied with the Dazzlings, she was afraid they’d taken you away to a place where she’d never pull you out. She thought she’d lost you forever to their spell…”
It was so strange to be worried over by Sunset, a complete reversal of our lives together. I’d always been her protector, her guardian against the cruelties of our world, lifting her up and cheering her on even when she felt like she had nothing to give, no place on this earth. Yet here I was now, barely alive and the victim of arcane magic from a land I didn’t even know existed until twenty minutes ago, saved by the girl who had left that world behind. I didn’t know how to react, really, at least not yet. I was too dumbfounded by the fact that the young woman I’d fought, flirted, and eventually fallen in love with, was… well, wasn’t human. How was I supposed to react to that? Now I knew why she never told me of where she’d come from, why it was always such a hesitant thing to speak of. She knew I’d never believe it.
“Sorry if it’s a bit pushy, but… how long have you two been- you know…” she faded off.
Oh. “A couple months now, I think,” I said.
“Did- did she ever tell you? Where she’d come from, who she was? Any of it?”
I shook my head. “She was always scared to talk about anything about herself- before we met, I mean. Guess this was why.”
“Does she- well… do you still think the same of her?”
I looked over and saw the shadowed figures of my friends returning from their venture, led by the fiery, beautiful figure of Sunset Shimmer. Once a student in a faraway world, a protégé to the most powerful being in the universe. A girl in exile, banished from the home she had always known, thrust into an unfamiliar world with only her wits and ability to keep her afloat. A thief, a bully, a villainess, then suddenly transforming into a lovely being filled with sorrow, all her strength and light buried underneath a blanket of grief that she had made within the workings of her own mind, struggling to breath and find life. Yet now here she was, the girl who saved me from a power I’d never seen, a heroine who maybe, just maybe, had found the light I’d seen in her, the very thing that caused me to look for her every day, why I constantly wanted to be near her and see her grow and find joy and happiness, why I’d chosen, out of so many people, her. Because of her, I was free.
I ate ravenously, greedy for the needed sustenance my body screamed for. It seemed the entire thing went by far too quickly, leaving me hollow and begging for more, though I felt immensely better than I had moments before. With the help of Sunset and AJ I was able to get to my feet and begin a slow, methodical walk. I was still a bit wobbly, but I could manage. Satisfied I could bear my own weight, Sunset and AJ started to drift away but I caught Sunset’s hand and pulled her to my side before she could walk off. “Uh-uh. This is where you belong,” I said softly.
Twilight spoke of needing to return to her homeland, and we made our way back to the front of school out on the great lawn, heading back to the Wondercolt statue. It was a bit of a slow journey thanks to my unsteady footing, but no one complained or barked at me.
The girls said their goodbyes, and I reached out my hand to Twilight before she could leave. “I think I owe you on this one,” I said.
“Oh, you don’t owe me anything, I just came to help-”
“No, I owe you,” I insisted. “For more than you can imagine.”
A small laugh and a smile was all it took to know she understood. With one last wave, she headed towards the statue’s base and put her hand through the concrete, which rippled violently like water struck by a stone. In a single fluid motion, the girl put herself through the portal and then just like that- she was gone.
I dropped my soda can on the ground, it falling somewhere next to my dropped jaw. “There’s something you don’t see every day,” I said weakly, nearly falling to the ground yet again. This was the first time I was consciously aware of a magical event, and it happened to be the very mundane, very boring and normal statue outside my school. I couldn’t think of a reaction suitable. I mean, what was I supposed to do in the face of this?
It felt like we stood there for a while, just looking at the statue as if a few of us expected something to come through and start another madcap event right before our eyes. I knew I’d never look at the thing the same way again. But, as time went on, our small circle of survivors departed home one by one, whether for the late hour or simply because they knew it was time to leave. Eventually it was just me and Sunset standing together, Rarity finally declaring she had no idea why she was even still here and left crying out that she would be a total wreck tomorrow for school.
“I think she forgot it’s Friday,” Sunset leaned in and said to me.
“I kinda hope she wakes up tomorrow and freaks when she sleeps till noon,” I remarked. It was a casual banter she and I had only enjoyed in passing, small moments where the two of us were truly relaxed. It felt oh so good to know she could still possess that tranquility, even after all she’d been through recently.
We stood there together, just us two, the nearby streetlights the only light source around. I looked down at her and she up at me, the two of us a perfect contrast of nature and build. I still easily towered over her, a figure of pure muscle and power. I was passionate and first to fight, naturally aggressive and protective. She was small, slender and beautiful, a thoughtful breed that cared more for the right decision than one of the immediate. She had a fire of her own, but her ferocity came from a different place than mine. Where I was reactionary, she was logical. Where I was street-smart, she was naturally intelligent. I the brawn, she the brains. Yet, the greatest difference of all was the one that didn’t even matter. It was time for her to know that.
“So what’re your thoughts on horse racing?” I asked.
She stared at me in complete silence, giving me such a strange look that I was certain I’d said something wrong. “That’s what you start out with?” she said accusingly.
Oh hell. “Wait, gimme a sec, I was just trying to- you know-”
She burst out laughing and I felt more flummoxed than ever. Was I still in trouble?
“I should’ve guessed that’s what you’d say,” she giggled, still not fully recovered. “You are such a thoroughgoing idiot, you know that?”
“I can accept that,” I sighed, glad I was merely the victim of a good-natured scare. “Hey, can- can we talk? Like, for real this time?”
“Sure,” she said lightly. “What do you want-”
“Nah, not here,” I said. “I wanna head back to the stage real quick, can you help me get there? I’m still not steady on my feet yet.”
I’d already made the trip going the other way, but it was torturous nonetheless. I hoped Applejack didn’t expect me to come to work tomorrow, not after this. Finally we made it back, and I slowly hobbled up the side steps and up onto the stage. “Jeez, you all… you wrecked this freakin’ place,” I said.
It was an understatement, really. The place had almost been destroyed, the stage feeling almost like it would collapse under my feet if I put down too much pressure. Boards were torn and shredded in places, some bearing burns and strange marks that I guessed had to be the magic the girls had used. There were red shards of some kind of crystal on the ground, alongside what seemed to be –horrifyingly- droplets of blood that marked the stage. It was more than a little unreal to know that this was all due to a girl only two months older than me and weighed 105.
“The hell did this blood come from?” I asked. “Tell me it wasn’t-”
“We’re all fine,” Sunset said instantly. “The Sirens each had a gem necklace. When it shattered, it cut into their necks.”
“Are- come to think of it, the hell are they? What happened to them?”
“They ran off when the spell broke,” she answered. “They can run wherever they like now, their magic won’t ever work again now that their gems shattered.”
Hmm… “If the spell broke when you all defeated them… why didn’t I just wake up like everybody else?”
Sunset hesitated in answering, taking a seat beside me and taking my hand in hers. “I- I don’t really know,” she said softly. “Maybe because they struck you first, maybe you were put under a different kind of magic, or… or maybe because you’ve gone through things others haven’t.”
The ring of gunfire and curses echoed in my ears as the memories surfaced, more clearly than they had in months. It was as if… as if something had caused them to resurface yet again, a foul darkness having brought them to the forefront of my mind once more. I shook them away. Now wasn’t the time. I dreaded having to ask the question, but I needed to know. “Sunset?”
“Mhm?”
I hesitated, but pushed myself and I plunged forward. “Sunset, when I was- you said the Sirens’ spell allowed them to control people. When I was under their spell, what happened to me?”
Sunset looked at me and promptly gazed elsewhere, a sliver of sadness piercing those beautiful eyes.
“Sunset, what did I do?” I pressed, a sensation of dread welling up inside me.
Sunset wavered before she could even speak. Was she… was she afraid? This wasn’t her past, which was now totally in the open. This was my own past, these were my actions that she feared. What had I done to bring about this? “You… you weren’t yourself,” she said softly. “It was never you.”
“Sunset, I need to know,” I insisted.
“Can you trust me?” she asked. “Can you put your faith in me enough to let that secret stay hidden? To believe in me, and know that if you had truly been yourself, the things you did never would have come to be…”
It was like she was testing me, probing me to see how I’d answer. My words meant a lot to her, but this question seemed to carry more weight than most. As I gazed down at her, my vision blurred and become twisted among an overload of images and sounds and senses that bore an overwhelming weight. I could not remember what I done in the dark, yet it was like they tore at the forefront of my consciousness, eager to escape and rejoin reality. I feared and relished the thought of knowing, at least knowing, of what I had said and done. But I doubted I would ever truly know, unless she told me herself. I would just have to accept that.
“So is this why you wouldn’t ever tell me of your family?” I asked her.
She nodded. “It was always difficult to talk about anyway,” she said. “But then throw in the fact that I’m from another world, I thought it would never make any sense to you. Or that you’d laugh.”
“Thought I wouldn’t believe you?” I guessed, receiving a nod in return. “I can understand that, I think. It’s still a lot to take in.”
“It’s why I didn’t like you knowing about the journal, either,” she admitted “It was a gift from Princess Celestia, years ago when I became her student. It… I didn’t like to have to think about it. I saw it all every day here at school, anyway. To see her as a teacher, even in this world, to see so many people I’d known back in my world and for all of them to hate me…I’d always end up wondering if I could have ever done it differently, if I would have even cared if I’d known.”
Sympathy welled up within me. For the first time in my life, I was actually beginning to understand her: why she would sometimes retreat into herself, why she’d take all of the abuse so hard, why there were things that were difficult to talk about or even stand… our school was a mirror of her homeland, all the things she had lost. It must’ve been torturous for her to endure every single week of her life.
“I’m sorry,” I said suddenly.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked.
“Because I never understood you,” I said. “I just thought I could pull you out, that I could save you if I could only show you that you were the person I saw you to be. I kept pushing you and pushing you to get better when I never would’ve succeeded because you saw your home every time you came… I never even bothered to understand…”
She leaned in and placed her head on my chest, giving a sigh of contentment. “I think we both made mistakes, really. I was so afraid to let you in because I thought if you knew what I really was, then you’d- you’d…”
“You thought I’d leave,” I finished for her.
“I was so afraid to lose you,” she said. “You’d become such a fundamental part of my life that I was terrified you’d hate me and leave if you ever figured it out. I needed you to be there for me and I was so scared that suddenly I’d wake up and suddenly- there you weren’t. Because you were disgusted by the sight of me. The more time we spent around you the more I wanted to say, because you kept pushing me, you kept believing in me and kept telling me how beautiful and wonderful I was. I started to wonder if maybe –just maybe, you’d accept me for who I was. A magical pony who wanted to be a princess and instead got kicked out of her home,” she added with a small chuckle. “Yet at the same time I was never more afraid to say a single word, because I knew every day we were together would make it hurt more for you to go… I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it. I’m… I’m so sorry for never trusting you…”
I sighed, exhaustion starting to get the better of me as the hours crept by. Fatigue was threatening to overwhelm me and I craved sleep. It didn’t help that Sunset’s warmth made me incredibly comfortable. “Give me your hand,” I said sleepily, taking her small fingers and putting them in my own. She was so soft, from her hair to her skin, comforting and gentle even to the touch. She really was unlike anyone I’d ever met. “Man, I still get that thrill from holding your hand,” I said. “Feels like the first time every time I do it. Just so soft and warm, I always had this mental image of a small little sun glowing inside you.”
“I have a magic touch,” she grinned, shifting closer and leaning into me.
“And don’t I know it,” I said in reply. “I could travel across the entire world and never meet another girl like you. And not just because you’re not from this world,” I added hastily as she opened her mouth. “It’s because you’re you: your eyes, your hair, the feel of your touch, and most of all your warmth of heart. Inside and out, you are more than anything I have ever, or will ever asked for in a person. Whether you have hands or hooves, I really don’t care. I’ll follow you into the dark, if that’s where you choose to go.”
“Because that’s what we do, you and I,” she said happily. “We look after each other.” She rose from her comfortable position leaning against me and looked straight into my eyes, a playful yet serious expression upon her face. “Can you promise me something?” she asked.
“Go for it,” I replied invitingly.
“Promise me that we’ll always push each other,” she said. “That we’ll make each other better, to be better. That when I want to retreat and believe I can’t do it, you’ll be there to pull me up when I need you to.”
“Then promise me you’ll do the same,” I said. “Hold me accountable, make me become something greater. To have peace even when I want to scream and rage, that I can be the better one and not give in when all I want to do is fight.”
Sunset nodded. “It won’t be easy,” she cautioned mildly. “You know as well as I do that we both have scars we’ll carry. Forever.”
“Well, what fun would it be if it were easy?” I said, getting to my feet and offering her a hand. “That’s why we have each other.”
We walked away and headed to the parking lot, side by side and hand in hand, together once more. It wasn’t a sure sign of better days to come, nor an end to our respective journey. But it was a promise to one another. That no matter what came next, we’d take it on together.
And that was enough for me.
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This story man is like a feels punch to the gut god I love these kinds of stories
AWESOME!
Man, it's nice to see our hero finally learned the truth about Sunset's past and that he still loves her. Still, I wonder how the Dazzlings' influence affected his judgment during the time he was brainwashed.
Make something he did under the Dazzling's control come back to haunt him. Ignorance is dangerous, and he doesn't seem to have figured that out yet.
You hear that cheering in the distance? That's me. Over this.
Well... that worked out wonderfully....
Though now I'm wondering just what he did while he was under the influence of the Sirens..... and if he'll be ready for any future trouble....
7337007 You have no idea what's coming. It's about to get much, much worse...
7337077
So this is only a temporary victory then.....
I almost fear how you'll portray 'Friendship Games' and perhaps that whole 'Anon-A-Miss' mess..... and I'll bet those problems are going to be potatoes compared to whatever else you have planned ahead.....
7337855 Anon-A-Miss would've happened a while ago, seeing as it was a Christmas themed story. As for Friendship Games it came after I began this story, so not canon to this timeline. No, all that name-dropping I've done is about to come to fruition in a very bad way
Kinda want to see a spin off were those two go to Equestria and how things turn out.
That was a nice suprise. Now the long wait TRULY begins.
"Follow us into the thunder / as we tear you asunder ..."
Although this chapter was confusing it was still good. Also, what did he do while he was under the spell?