- Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Last Thursday
MrNumbers
Stories about: Feelings too complicated to describe, ponies
MrNumbers
Joined 14th Jan, 2012 ·
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The Clop is not for me, but the story is good otherwise.
I have found some errors in there, spelling, words douobled.
A few instances of jumping between tenses i think.
I am still at work and can not do a point by point on that though.
yeah that was some good shit. the best friends all around.
This was fun! I wonder how long it will take for Rarity to find out prosciutto isn't an animal.
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If Dash is smart, forever. Though to be fair, she may not even be sure herself.
But really, Pinkie, Twi... you watched the video. Can you blame her?
(Even if it was Rainbow who proposed, not Rarity. ;p)
They are an adorable, sexy trainwreck just waiting to never actually happen, hopefully!
I. I don't have the *words* to explain what this fic has been for me. I already really loved your previous work with these two, but reading these four stories has been, perspective changing, as a person. I write, as a very un-serious hobby, and I sat and thought to myself the entire time I was reading that none of the characters I have written are nearly good enough because they could never have scenes like *this*. I both desperately want to keep reading these two, and somehow know deep down that I can't, because this was the story meant to be told, and as the curtains draw I am left filled and empty in equal measure. Thank you. For giving me my new favorite piece of fiction on this site, and possibly my new favorite piece of short fiction, ever. I dearly hope it gets the recognition it deserves.
So Rarity and Dash have forgotten that Twilight can write Princess Twilight via Book faster than they can ride to the portal. I can only imagine what will happen when they're intercepted on the Equestrian side.
Glad I inspired an entire series. Hopefully someone is willing to front the cash so we can read about the wedding.
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"We did it outside your jurisdiction, the portal's basically crossing international borders, you can't touch us!" Rainbow put herself between the Princess and Rarity and held up her wings.
Twilight, gently, reached out her own to lower Rainbow's and smiled beautifically. "It's fine, 'Red Delta', I can just get you on the espionage act for being a foreign agent under an assumed identity."
"What?" Rainbow looked back at Rarity. "Can... Can she actually?"
"I find it best not to ask what Twilight is incapable of these days."
"Ah, shit."
"Did you know my girlfriend wrote all the laws?" Twilight asked, happily. "I'm dating Luna now, and she wrote all the laws."
"Yes, dear."
"Sometimes I sneak up behind her and say she's my favourite princess and she has to hide her face for a whole minute. It only works if I sneak up on her though."
"You were in the middle of charging us with espionage, dearest."
"Right!" Twilight held up the journal which was just, the other Twilight and Pinkie's scrawled screams. "Anyway, I was just going to ask if you want me to tell them you," she pointed at Dash, "just proposed not expecting her to say yes," she pointed at Rarity, "and the whole thing kind of got away from you when neither of you was willing to take it back? Or do you want to keep that a secret because it's funnier?"
Rarity and Dash blinked in unison and looked at each other. Dash spoke first. "Did you..."
"I didn't even have the time to put my skirt on."
"Ha. Yeah." Dash grinned. "Wasn't me."
"It's just obvious that's what happened." The Princess blew her bangs out of her eyes. "Anyway, next time you have a big fight and think actually getting married is the solution to it, I'll officiate the wedding somewhere private people won't ask too many questions." She leaned down to Dash's ear and whispered, in parting, "Nice Star Trek reference by the way, 'Red Delta'."
Then, pop, she was gone.
"Red Delta is a...?"
"The borg invaders came from the Delta quadrant, and it's red because... wait do you think my stuff stays the same when it crosses the portal? Like is that photo of me and Patrick Stewart going to get ponified or what...?"
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fyi there's a bit of bonus content.
Very fun story with fantastic characterizations. Amazing really.
> It is agony to think that anyone could make you feel like the reason I would keep you at an arm’s length is any fault of yours.”
Rarity is the pony; she wouldn't say "arm's length"?
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Okay so this is the second comment you've made like this and I would like to say; I write for a human audience writing human expressions and often ponyisms strike me as especially awkward when a meaning is otherwise clear.
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When reading, I build a model of the situation. Things that really do not fit this model pull me right out of the story. Like, say, creatures normally having no hands using turns of phrase based around hands. Or anything else they just wouldn't have. This isn't just for MLP. If I'm writing, oh, Star Trek fanfic and there's a scene with a bunch of Hortas who have limited exposure to humans, I'm not going to have one describe how they were getting cold feet; or if I do, I'm going to draw attention to it and play off of it.
Not using 'anypony' is one thing. Putting words into characters mouths that just wouldn't be there is another.
OMstarry-manedG! This is amazing!
Fun, sweet, hot, charming, astonishing, and sometimes excruciatingly funny* by turns.
Trainwreck? Oh yeah, but it's a Hollywood trainwreck that a team of FX guys have spent months making into an awe-inspiring display of flaming debris and magnificent fireballs turned up to eleven. The property damage is completely secondary to the spectacle of the thing! The fourth chapter had me fearing that they'd go so far as to hurt themselves (in a bad way) to achieve a completely pointless victory.
Loved Princess Twi's off-stage interference, BTW. I could quite quite clearly imagine both her eye-rolls and sly grin.
Is there such a thing as a farce** where everyone involved comes out ahead and satisfied? because that's what this feels like.
---------------------------------
* No really, I ugly-laughed at—
—until various fluids leaked out of me.
** In the theatrical genre sense of the word.
Oh gawd, this, too!
How dare you mention star trek, let alone tng and not mention the character played by the same who voices our beloved discord. i shant stand for this!
mwah this fic was lovely, I hope u get the urge to write more in this series because their relationship is very nice
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I have a TwiLuna sequel to Singles Combat already written it just needs to be edited and posted now
Very good story and the follow-up to the first story that I didn't know I needed. This did a great job examining how this relationship works and doesn't work in a way that rings true for the characters. With the caveat that I'm not interested in the actual sex parts of the sex scenes, they were well done as character explorations and the one-upmanship in the last chapter was a lot of fun.