• Member Since 4th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Zontan


Nitpicking your math errors is how I show I care.

E

We, the ponies of New Canterlot, do hereby dissolve the position of Monarch of Equestria, stripping it of all rights and privileges, effective immediately.


Second place in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Event 100 contest. The prompt was "A Worthy End."

Cover art by the delightful Snow Quill.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 114 )
garfan #1 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

I wonder what's going to be the common pony's reaction to this when they realize how much it hurt her

A fine coda to Twilight's reign... though I can't help but imagine that ten years later, they'll come crawling back, either hilariously or tragically.

Probably not going to happen; the opening made it clear that Twilight's been disconnected from modern governance for centuries at this point. But still, some wicked little part of me can't help but think about subverting the message here. Ignore the imp; you did a fine job.

Brillient :)
I'd love a sequel about what Twilight does with her free time

Who will raise the sun?

10353022

"Hey, I know we fired you and all," the stallion began, "but there's this ancient... thing running around, and, well, none of us are immortal goddesses. Would you maybe consider, I don't know, firing your rainbow laser at it for us? Please?"

Twilight gave the pleading bureaucrat a blank look. "...Seriously?"


Quips aside, I really liked this story! My compliments to the author.

10353045
Shes not relevent in their goverment anymore- her function as day-night manager was covered in the final episode. By this point they've likely automated the process using that device...or they could just assign someone to handle it.

Regardless, the cycle doesn't require a princess, device or not.

10353022
I'm surprised they fully removed her position. If she isn't relevant, wasn't she just a figurehead/historical postion? Maybe they'll bring her postion back with her placement and power properly verified.

Basically: just give the poor girl something similar to the Queen.

Where's my sequel, where Twilight spends the rest of her life dealing with the two sisters being ridiculous???

It's not like I need a comedy now, to patch my poor heart. Dammit zontan, why must you give me a heaping dose of the honey-nut-feelios? I just woke up!

Huk
Huk #9 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

Darn... this was pretty sad, but in a good way. But that bureaucrat that gave her the document, acted like an a-hole :ajbemused:

10353054
She did that for years before having an official position.

10353055
Did that happen in the episode covering the sun and moon because I never saw the finale and don’t want to

10353157
I highly recommend watching the last episode. Its not the two-parter finale, its a epilogue and the true final episode. It's got the future as a framing device for the story of Twilight's coronation party. The device used in a previous episode(between dusk and Dawn) is now going to be always used for sun-moon movement.

10353162
I know what finale episode you are talking about but like I said I have no intention of seeing it
I saw the dusk and dawn episode and don’t remember the device at all

10353162
Thanks for letting me know

10353165
Wonder why....its pretty good.

10353175
The plot never sounded much interesting to me, plus personal opinion but not wanting him to see straight as headmare and what I heard of the final song is just meh

Just personal preference and all

How about a comedy sequel where there are a whole lot of powerful villains waiting for twilight to step down from the throne to invade and the citizens are ill prepared since they never actually had to fight against threats before and are as effective as the police of san angeles from demolition man

10353162
That's a bit much to infer from the final shot.

In any event, wasn't it confirmed that Twilight's crown (the one made from Celestia's and Luna's) was what let her control the sun and moon?

10353194
I might be misremembering but I recall them giving her the device again, during the ending of the coronation party.

Was it her crown this time? Either way, I do remember her talking about the ending of the summer sun celebration before giving Twilight her sun/moon raising tool.

10353189
"We're the Equestrian Army! We aren't trained to handle this kind of violence!"

Wonderful little story! I quite enjoyed it!

There is something wrong with this. I could see them making the Princess-ship ceremonial, but to just remove it from history essentially seems inequine. Knowing Twilight, she probably hasn't even stored 1/100th the amount of equity that most ponies would think a pony in her position would have. Not that she is necessarily bitless but I have a funny feeling she'll actually have to go to work in an immortal's eyeblink.

A lovely story about the end of Twilight's reign :twilightsmile:, but considering Equestria's history of ancient evils periodically sprouting back up from the dead, I'd always imagined Twilight's reaction to being forced off the throne would probably be taking after George III :rainbowlaugh::

"You'll be back, soon you'll see
You'll remember you belong to me
You'll be back, time will tell
You'll remember that I served you well"

Great story notheless, bittersweet but pleasantly hopeful.

Oooof, like a major punch to the gut there. But yeah, from the sounds of it, even as much of an asshole the bureaucrat was about it, Fan summed it up. It's clear Twilight's just that disconnected from her actual job, and maybe it is for the best. Maybe it isn't. We'll probably never know.

Joural #25 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

10353057
She herself says she wasn't intervening, that she built up the systems so she wouldn't need to. While the story is nice as a short piece of fluff, we can actually point to the only real life monarchy who ever did something even vaguely like that, and see how it ended for them.

Oh, a maintained position of wealth and influence because they're seen as a cultural touchstone and symbol for their entire nation. And they didn't even save the world multiple times.

If it was simply them stripping her of her last powers and duties, that'd be one thing, but people don't get tired of the immortal symbol of their nation who saved the world multiple times and built their democracy from the ground up remaining in a position of prestige. I'd expect a violent rebellion from the people who fear that removing her from power is an attempt to create unchecked power from the bureaucrats, more than anything.

10353461
Interesting concept, wanna write it? :pinkiehappy:

10353461
Just give your immortal grandmother a cushy honorary spot, Equestrians ;(

Jest #29 · 2 weeks ago · · 1 ·

The story is good, feels almost a little too light though.

Need ms a sequel of the entire system falling apart without Twilight. And the Ponys not being able to find her, and Celestia and Luna. And when they do, they dont want there jobs back!

10353517
True, I was debating just now weather this goes to my Masterpiece's list. I mean this story has the potential to punch a hole through my heart, but it didn't. Perhaps if it had something deeper.

I mean imagine if when her title dissolved and she was left with nowhere to go. No Celestia, Luna, or friends. Ruling her kingdom had been all she had for thousands of years. And they don't want her. Not even a thank you for your service. Merely thanks for signing the paper. And now she's truly alone.

Something like that wouldn't have broken my heart. It would have left it broken. If a story can fill me with strong, emotions, keep me interested, has characters you can truly emphasize with, has an amazing story/plot I enjoy, or has something really unique(Unique NON-story/plot wise) I consider anding it to my MasterPiece's list. Anything thing with those.

For this story, I felt it trying to punch a hole in my heart but was more a slap to the heart.

Wait, how do you get second place for the "A Worthy End." contest? It started and ended in 2019? It's not even in the "A Worthy End." folder for the group.

"Finally, Twilight. You'll have time to visited my island: For-Oh-Won Cay! "

To be honest,

This is the kind of story that I would have expected to be a multi chapter length story. It just has that potential. Like, the citizens of Equestria had decided that they no longer needed Twilight. But what are the consequences? Good? Bad? Ugly? Would it be so bad that the ponies of the nation would want to rip up the bill that was passed and Twilight take charge again?

It's clear that this occurs many centuries in the future where Technology has advanced the world of Equestria in a positive way, but ofc, the negatives are there.

Idk, this is just my opinion on it. It just disappoints me to see such an idea only be put to short use. Cause lemme tell you, I can see where this kinda thing could lead to and honest to Celestia how good of a story it could be if it went that direction. But that's just me.

Other than that, I did enjoy this 1 shot. :)

10353538
The ending talk couldn't have suffered from the addition of a few more words.

10353615
I take this as our world, it's not a government, it's a faceless company.

10353538
No, leaving her completely alone is the obvious thing to do. Its cliche and kinda boring, leaving on a more positive note makes this story better. It shows growth in Twilight and not the obvious despair that you want. However, I do admit that this story had something to be desired. I like it, but it could have been more.

10353544

Contest 100 (which this was written for) used a number of older prompts that people could pick from. A Worthy End was one of them.

10353461
The UK also makes a SHIT ton of profit over what they effectively tithe to the monarchy. Both in money from the lands that the royals effectively lent to the UK government, tourism, and just off the strength of their image.

Also WWZ had one story from someone who had survived inside a castle and met the Queen. She refused to leave Windsor, and was "in for the duration". He said that the symbology of castles and the royalty kept the british people alive through the War as surely as guns and stone walls did.

Trustan #40 · 2 weeks ago · · 3 ·

Damn liberals

One does not need to get rid of a king for a society to advance, as demonstrated by Juan Carlos, who brought democracy back to Spain after the Franco years.

This is a good drama. A tale of how the fall from power is always bittersweet. But it seems a bit excessive.

At that point, Twilight incorporates a company that charges her services of raising the sun and moon, and becomes capitalism's wet dream... Ultimate power, held forever. Equestria learns benevolent monarchy with socialised daylight is better than three ponies holding the power of the sun and moon alone.

10353528
Its made clear she wasn't really needed. Its not gonna collapse without her. She raised them well...

10353700
Ah, I see, thanks!

10353645
Cliche or not, I thought up on the spot. Either way, I find it a little sad.

I give it twenty years. Twenty years, then windigoes.

I would love to see this story where when they claim she has her title taken away she just goes ok and goes on vacation. Of coarse the sun and moon doesnt rise and all the nations come together to ask the ponies why they arent raising the sun and moon. The other nations then force the ponies to take twilight back und3r the threat of total war.

10353162
thing is, that device was made with twilight in mind, a comon mage alone would never be able to understand how it functions.

whats more it does have to be recharged likely periodicly by the two sisters, as they imbued it with there power, so basicly the quip about a power company analog right there all over again

whats more theres no real viable reason to remove twilight from her post, if as they said shes been disconected from the ACTUAL governence for nearly a century...then that basicly means that shes not bothering anyone either, so striping her of her position was an act of spite more then anything in my eyes...someone in power didnt like that there was someone who had a tittle that "IMPLIED" more authority then they had and they made a stink about it
to me thats what this story says

As far as ends to a monarchy go (both IRL and in fiction), this was downright tame. And something tells me that for a ruler like Twilight, she will still have the respect and love of the people, even if the bureaucrats thought of her as an obstacle. Still, this is a good lesson to learn.

I really enjoyed the first draft of this on QnS, and as expected, not much needed to be changed. Also "the correct amount of blankets" for a woobie is indeed "all of them." :twilightsmile:

This was so nice and wholesome. All it's missing is a PARTY!!!!:pinkiehappy:

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