Being kidnapped is the least of Twilight's concerns.
Now with a phenomenal reading by Scribbler!
Thank you to The Legendary Bill Cipher, Shaslan, Wishcometrue, Flashgen, Snow Quill, Zontan, Red Parade, MasterThief, Moonshot, themoontonite, Vis-a-Viscera, Knox Locke, Equus, and Novelle Tale for prereading, editing, and being generally good people.
This story was written for the Quills and Sofa Speedwriting Group, for their Plain Jane Contest. Wanna know why so many of our stories are great? Wanna meet some truly inspiring people? Wanna write something that you have no doubts about, ever? We do, too! Come figure that out with us on our Discord.
Chapters (1)
I read this as "time travel" and got excited for a second
Very good story
Wait, Equestria doesn't have an internal revenue service beyond Twilight herself? That seems more than a little absurd.
I... honestly can't decide what to think of this one. This is a slice of life whose size belies its density. It's not quite a drama, comedy, tragedy, adventure... It's just life. Messy, complicated, unclassifiable life. It is a bit frustrating that no one's noticed that something's gone awry for two years, but overall, this is a fascinating little piece. Especially how Twilight's befriending her captors over time. Hard to tell how much is Stockholm Syndrome and how much is Lima. Thank you for it.
I laughed out loud during the story and felt other emotions at equal intensity. It was sweet and good.
they way i feel about this story is complicated. its a good complicated!!! its a great complicated, even, just like twilights life. its brevity is stunning for the fact that so much Happens. your twilight voice here is wonderful too. this is something you should be very proud of. :)
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I should've included time travel, rats! Thank you for the comment!
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Wow, thank you for this analysis! It really means a lot! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story.
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Thank you for reading, Dawn! I'm touched that you enjoyed it. Complicated feelings on this seems to be the consensus!
This fucking bops
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You're a fucking bop. And also a delight, thank you!
I really tried, but I just can't seem to make myself like this story. It’s well written, but something about the premise just frustrates me. The massive idiot boulder of no one noticing the disappearance of the giant magical statue, Twilight's nonchalant disregard for her friends and family... I dunno, it just doesn't work for me.
Sorry.
So I just woke up to see this story posted and gave it a read.
Dear
Dear please, that's a lot of feelings for haveing just awoken.
So yeah this was good and I think I gotta like go stare blankly at a wall or out a window at the rain or something to properly match the aesthetics my emotions demand right now.
That their current contest? I can never keep up
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It was... two contests ago, I believe. I placed second. The top three were incredibly close.
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They host the contests on their discord. We welcome new people if you ever want to join in!
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That's fair. Thanks for at least letting me know what didn't work for you. Not every one of my stories can be a winner for everyone. I appreciate you giving it a shot!
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I just like giving you the feels, babe. Thanks for reading. You're always such a cherished supporter of what I write and I love you, but I don't think it's gonna rain for a few more months, so you might be out of luck.
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Ah! That’s why I never know until after the fact >.>
I... I... I need a sequel... This can't be it. She is content living as a prisoner while her wife is being tricked by Chrysalis? What kind of life is that?!? And not even the guards are stupid enough to have not noticed that the statue is missing let alone Spike who would have felt something off by now. And two years as the Princess of Friendship and Chrysalis is not changed is some way? As manipulative as she is she can't avoid having some kind of change of heart after two years of pretending to be everyponies friend and being Raritys wife. Two years of constantly feeling the love of the same pony and knowing that she genuinely loves who you are pretending to be would have to stir something in her. And then there's the changelings, she would have to be friends with them to keep her cover up which means that she would either see the benefits of embracing love and friendship or would have gotten caught and since she hasn't gotten caught...... I want to see this from Chrysalis' side of things. Sequel..... Please.
This needs a sad tag. She might be in a content situation, but I doubt happy. Not to mention how obvious is the entirety of the not-sucking if the situation comes from Twilight having a life for herself.
She needs to get rescued and retire. And then have a foal with Rarity, for she's so oblivious to how taking care of others (young adult Cozy and changeling grubs) makes her happy that it hurts.
Maybe they can become a herd with Chrissy, everyone wins!
It's stories like this one that really make you step back and remember that Twilight didn't ask to be a princess. Celestia kinda just forced it on her. Is it any wonder Twilight is happier being a second mother to Cozy and Chrysalis' kids and making friends?
Of course, this whole thing kinda screams of Stockholm Syndrome and quite possibly Lima Syndrome from the Evil 3, so maybe a sequel where Twilight deals with getting "rescued" and eventually decides she's better off being a teacher/mother figure than a princess?
"I have no strong feelings one way or another."
Can't have profanity in description/title without a Teen rating or higher btw.
Title... Futurama reference?... wow, I haven't heard anyone talk about that show in so long... since a week after it ended I think.
I cannot buy Chrysalis successfully impersonating Twilight for two minutes let alone two years
This was very interesting and told from that same standpoint. A precarious position at the top and juggling the responsibilities that lie there, but also wanting to be down to earth and have a shared life. One that, though it was a considerably difficult pill to swallow for Twilight, it was medicine. Though it hurt for her to let Rarity go, she knew it would be better for her to let go and for Rarity to have that foal and move on herself. There were lovely touches here and there that were placed lovingly, like the bits with Cozy Glow and the letters from Rarity. Overall, I'd call this bittersweet with a long aftertaste of sweet! Very solid!
You're very talented Silent, and excel in characters! I smile reading your stuff and I smile at your success! Here's to this one, and here's to many more!
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Yes... "tricked".
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All I know is my gut says maybe.
Glad to see you in the Box. And it's well deserved <3
This story confuses me, not in the I don't know what's going onTM way, but the I don't know how I feel about thisTM way, ya know?
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Thank you so much! You guys are so kind and supportive and I don't know where I'd be without you!
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crap, I didn't know that. Thanks for pointing that out, I got it fixed!
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If I could tag more than three blue tags at once, I would've added that (sorry!)
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This is a great take! Thank you so much for telling me your thoughts, I loved reading your comment and you made my day!
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That's a mood, and thanks for the trademark symbols!
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Hm, I'll definitely think about it! If I can figure out what story I want to tell with it, you'll be the first to know!
You need a better summary for the story than “Being kidnapped is the least of Twilight's concerns.”
That tells us literally nothing, except that Twilight is kidnapped, and doesn’t necessarily give me, as a reader, any incentive to read further.
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I appreciate that you all are willing to share your opinions, and I appreciate you taking the time to write a comment about them. I might not agree with them, but thank you for your input regardless!
This was interesting, thanks for the read.
I need to put something forward that I feel Twilight Sparkle is a little too content. I blame Changeling Magic, probably. I believe enough that Chrysalis may have upped her acting since the wedding and maybe...a VERY STRONG maybe ...Chrysalis eventually falling in love with Rarity. But Twilight being content with it? I find that just a bit too much. She's lost everything, literally, at the hooves of Chrysalis. Maybe life as a Princess changed her, but life as a Princess should have her feeling the necessary obligation to take care of her subjects, which probably encompasses all of Equestria & beyond. Willingly resolving to be a prisoner of the Changeling hive, working out with Tirek and exchanging memorable moments with Cozy Glow who, may I remind you, both literally endangers the whole world while Chrysalis rules? No, it's either a very strong OOC case or Changeling Mind-Control Magic.
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Thanks for reading!
Your interpretation is interesting and sound. Honestly, I'd say it's up to your interpretation whether or not Twilight is being influenced by Chrysalis. It's a take I hadn't thought of before I posted the story, but I'm delighted to read that other people share your point of view.
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Mostly.
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, mind you. It was definitely entertaining.
I believe it's Changeling Magic, I mean, it's their M.O
It's a good story, but I feel like... literally everyone is portrayed as out of character, Twilight being content with this for two years, Cozy who, as far as we know, is evil for NO ACTUAL REASON. Asking Twilight for advice or doing her any favors, Tirek being a work out buddy and Chrysalis feeling any positive emotion for anyone but herself, especially to the point of being able to act out being the kind, loving, and benevolent Twilight for two years?
Edit: Maybe they've actually already turned Equestria into like, a ruled slave state and they're just messing with Twi so they can see her break when she eventually finds the truth
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Thank you for the comment
Gonna be honest, and please don't take this the wrong way if you've attempted to write a serious story. But when I saw the title...
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Ah, finally, someone's shown me where the quote's from!
The story itself is serious, but when we were doing the speedwriting, someone had suggested as a potential prompt the line that became the title. A different prompt was chosen, but I couldn't get the mental image of it out of my head, so I wrote about that as well as fitting the original prompt ("Plain Jane" as the theme and "Second Glances") into the story.
... you know, and then I found out it was a line from a show, lol. Thanks for the clip!
This made me feel things. So cute in a weird way.
Deceptively short but extremely dense.
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No problem lol. You'd be surprised how often Futurama lines appear in fics.
This was a really interesting story, that started out with the common "boy, being a princess sure is wacky, huh?" stuff before going into the quiet despair of Twilight's situation in captivity. There's no mention of Twilight trying to escape, so I imagine she fell into a sort of depression that led to her not wanting to even try to make things better for herself, and assumes that Chrysalis will make a better partner to Rarity.
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OneTM canTM neverTM haveTM tooTM manyTM TM'STM
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ATMmTMeTMnTM tTMoTM tTMhTMaTMtTM!TM
Holy cow. There's a lot to unpack on this little fic! Excellent worldbuilding, and lots of feels... The last couple paragraphs in particular are heartbreaking. Well done!
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My guess is, the statue might have disappeared, but it was soon replaced. Twilight seems to have assumed it is gone because the three villains are around, but I think she doesn't know what happened in that spot AFTER. Chrysalis, disguised, goes into a shop, gets a souvenier statue, and then spell is used to grow it up to full-sized, or the like
Hm... That's one hell of a Stockholm syndrome...
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True, but the spell was cast by Luna, Celestia, and Discord. So wouldn't Discord feel the spell break like when he felt the power shift when Twilight was given the other princess's power?
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Depends on how it was broken I suppose, was there ever meant to be an end on it, and the like, kinda like Lunas banishment. Honestly the story reads more like the villains are going through the motions of being evil now, more then actually being so. That may just be my more hopeful view though
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Either way I am not a fan of content Twilight sitting in a cage while Chrysalis pretends to be her with her wife. Something about that just rubs me the wrong way.
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Also to point out with Luna's banishment Celestia pretty much knew when Luna was going to be released. And since the show doesn't really emphasize on how she knows we can't really rule out them feeling the spell cast by them weakening.
Weird, but not bad.
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Its not the stories fault Cozy is evil for no reason. Thank cannon for that.