• Member Since 21st May, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".


Starlight spends a lonely night in her office, thinking about her life and its purpose.

The results aren't pretty.

Inspired by all those bottles in Starlight's office.

Russian translation MLPMihail, edited by repitter and FoxcubRandy:
Ponyfiction.org link
Gdocs link

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 22 )

Starlight opened the cabinet, thinking of her poor liver


Her stomach twisted and turned when she realised that it was one of the empty bottles she’d filled with her rage before.

Okay, I did not see that coming. XD I wonder how it tastes?

Letting out a powerful roar, Starlight ran out of her room, leaving scorched hoofprints on the floor. She galloped across the corridor and jumped, hitting the window and piercing right through it.

My kind of action scene! ^^


I wonder how it tastes?

Probably somewhat spicy, with a dash of disappointment.

In my opinion, she's sexually frustrated.

Well, there's always Ocellus, but I guess Starlight would go full "do not want" on this one.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak. Starlight frowned, stopping the Princess of Friendship in her tracks.

“Oh, shut up.”


It's not like Trixie will show up in her office and made love to her with no regrets.

You almost had me feeling somewhat sorry for Starlight. Then she threw a door at Spike. Then my usual feelings of hatred surfaced. good job! :D

Maybe this always happens when Trixie is away.

Well, she didn't quite know he was there. But then, blasting the door is never a good idea in Equestria (I guess Twilight should settle for replacement door that falls apart when struck, so you get light debris rather than the whole door to the face).

MJP #9 · June 11th · · 1 ·

yeah, have the person with issues help people with issues

sorry, had to get that out since the premier

I think there's a thing called empathy that exists, where if you've had problems in the past, it makes it easier to understand the problems of others so you can help them out easier

Didn't care for this one, I'm afraid. Not sure what happened. The humor didn't click with me, and the whole thing felt a little aimless. I'm actually not even sure what I was supposed to find funny or interesting, but that's clearly not the general opinion, so I guess I just lack the right foundations to get it.


yeah but i'm reminded of the Dilbert strip where they hire a public speaker who has performance anxiety

You know things are bad when Starlight, of all the ponies, is the voice of reason from time to time.

I think this one was pretty light on humor, and the humor there was was largely situational.


So, shrapnel wounds instead.

Probably easier to survive, not to mention that shrapnel may miss or Starlight might just make a hole in the door rather than blasting the whole thing out of its hinges. So, generally, less stuff flying towards you.

You actually hate yourself. Starlight is just an innocent bystander.

She's the voice of reason most of the time.

Because, anyone who actually pays attention to the show would realize the Mane 6 and Spike have more issues then her. Like all the times Twilight has tried to use brainwashing magic.

Hey there Samey90! I have reviewed this fic as part of the Reviewers Cafe, please find this review here. Great story and I hope to hear from you again!

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