• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen Jun 1st, 2019

Zephyr Spark


An aspiring writer who will only write/read MLP stories staring Spike and Twilight.

T

Rainbow Dash discovers Spike has the makings of a great archer to represent Ponyville in the next Equestria Games and decides to train him, but dragon-hating officials, and a dragon-fearing town are bent to bar him, and possibly Ponyville, from the Games.

Edited by Fan Without a Face. Huge thanks to him for all his criticism, feedback, and edits . If you ever need an editor, I highly recommend him.

A few things to know: According to the MLP wiki, there is a section of Fillydelphia where dragons live called Dragon Town.

I've had this story planned for a year now, but haven't gotten around to writing it due to personal issues. I like to think of it as a spiritual successor to my most popular story "The Measure of a Dragon" in that it deals with similar themes of isolation and being an outsider. Although Dr. Saffron and Silver Stone won't be making an appearance, I do have some new friends and foes waiting to meet our favorite dragon. The subject matter may get a bit dark at times, but I truly believe this is a story well worth telling.

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 337 )

Wow.

This is better then I thought.

Please continue!

I'm hoping that Spike inspires not only dragons but other minority species that ponies look down upon like Diamond dogs, Minotaurs, Rock Lobsters, changelings, donkeys and zebras. I also hope that if Spike does get banned that Ponyville and the Crystal empire will boycott the games and won't go.

8425943 Wow. I never thought about them. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

8426088
Your welcome and not to sound like a greedy self promoter I've got several non-pony Oc's if you want to use them.

A few things to know: According to the MLP wiki, there is a section of Fillydelphia where dragons live called Dragon Town.

:facehoof:

The Dragon Town thing is in the comics, and only one property of them. And they're not even the dragons from the show. They're a type of tiny dragon that never grows above minotaur size, at least as far as anyone can tell because they were so poorly integrated into the lore of the world we got no details on them whatsoever beyond some very silly cultural gimmicks and stupid-sounding lingo.

Spike is clearly not even one of those since he can undergo greed growth, which obviously those tiny dragons don't worry about since none of them have ever gone on a rampage as giants through Fillydelphia, because if they had that would have been a sensible reason for the ponies to be fearful of them and would have been brought up in the comic to round out the story and fill in the holes in the story's background. Which is what GOOD writing is supposed to do.

Indeed, from what we've seen now of dragon society in the show, the Dragon Lands dragons would consider the Fillydelphia dragons pathetic puny wimps and be harsher on them than any pony ever could be.

“According to police accounts, someponies saw dragons set the hall on fire before fleeing to Dragon Town.

And it'll turn out to be ponies lying about it, or ponies disguised as dragons. Because that's usually how it goes in any media with this sort of setup. At least in the comic they made up the fire slugs... snails... whatever. It was stupid, but at least it avoided one of the laziest cliches of all politically-based stories (something even "Law & Order" fell into repeatedly when pushing an agenda.)

I'd give this story credit, though, if it turned out to be Chrysalis' remaining changelings trying to disrupt pony society.

8426134 Fair enough. I always assumed in MLP Cannon every dragon could risk growing massive from greed and lose control. I haven't read the comics, and I see why you can see this as pushing a political statement. I'm sorry if that offends you or if you think I'm being exploitive. It is not my intention to exploit political and social relations for the sake of views or controversial attention. My goal is to try and make a decent story about Spike for fellow Spike fans on Fimfiction that I've wanted to write for over a year now. Again, I am so sorry if I offended you by any simplifying of social issues or negligence to read the comics. Please forgive me as I am a writer trying to find his way, develop his craft, and to entertain. I know I am not an authority on any of these social issues who can offer a solution and I won't pretend I'm qualified to speak on anyone's behalf.

As for the comics, I never considered how Dragonland dragons might look down on Dragon Town dragons. It is an excellent point that I should have considered before writing. I have no excuse for not thinking about this aspect. I had a year of planning, so I cannot excuse myself. Please forgive me for offending you. If you can't, then please know that I have not intention to offend you personally. Thanks for your time.

8426131 Sure. If you'd like. I'm always happy when fans like my work enough to offer advise, pointers, or the like. Thanks.

MJP

thinly veiled metaphor for Islamaphobia is thinly veiled

8426262 No no, I meant the COMIC was pushing a political statement.. which the writer admitted freely as he is pretty much a textbook SJW and went on a tirade when the comic wasn't well-received because it shoved a social justice agenda in our faces when all we wanted was a comic about magical ponies.

As for the rest, you're hardly the first author who's missed or forgotten canon information when writing a story ostensibly set within the canon... but you're one of the very few who acknowledges the mistake. Be proud of that.

For the most part, the two things I most had an issue with were 1) Cadance being made to play prosecutor. She's head of a quasi-independent nation herself. She could have used that as grounds to refuse. Also, as the alicorn of Love, the role of an aggressor seeking to shove a youngster into inhumane experiments is more than a little contrary to her very nature. This is one place where an OC who's clearly a dirtbag would have been welcome and feel natural. 2) I noted this to some extent: Twilight missing loopholes so obvious even I, one not familiar with your version of Equestrian Law could pick them out.

It wasn't a terrible story (which is why my comments were more humor-based rather than the table-flipping "Dan Vs"-level rage for which I'm infamous.. I really identify with Dan...), but the nitty-gritty details need more fleshing out and a little more attention paid to who knows what and where would a character be willing and able to take a particular action in each circumstance.

Comment posted by Draconicus the Reaper deleted Sep 15th, 2017

Yes! Spike's awesome
And so is this story

This looks very promising ,can't wait to read more!!!:twilightsmile:

Jeez, at least learn to spell fuckwads

Poor Spike.

Still, why isn't a Princess Celestia being more involved in this! Her fellow princess's and faithful students number one assistant is getting attacked by the pony KKK! She should be DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

And those idiots who did that should be found, arrested, and put on trial for hate crimes. And permanently banned from the equestria games.

Now lets make a list of species who should be gathered up for Skytin Lute King jr's I have a dream speech.

Zebra's, dragons, buffallo, Seaponies, Hippogriffs, donkeys, mules. Lets go everyone and march into Canterlot on peaceful protest against racism!

Those ponies are saying Spike's a monster....but anyone who would threaten a baby Dragon like that deserves to be beat like the pathetic pieces of scum they are:twilightangry2:

According to the MLP wiki, there is a section of Fillydelphia where dragons live called Dragon Town.

Does this mean you will explain how ponies know next to nothing about dragon despite there being a village of friendly dragons living in Equestria?

This is why Bulk biceps is my favourite character

I think it's a wonderful story and you should continue.

This is a really good story, hope you write more soon.

I love this chapter and love the story even more, I don't care how long it takes I will wait for this story:heart: and please don't feel the need to try and rush anything.....it'll only mess up the amazingness you have built up

No idea why this story doesnt have more views. I'm reading it because I've seen it pop up in at least two different places on my feed and got curious.

Sorry to hear you're a little discouraged. I just finished reading through and I feel you've got a real strong story here. I got real invesred in the stakes and I hate to think the story won't finish.

I would like to point out that as of right now I'm seeing 31 upvotes and -0- downvotes. That's a real good sign.

33 upvotes, don't lose hope, see your idea through, because I assure you that it will shine with time.

Spike is making history!!!!

Also foals don't scare him asked the Cake Twins and Flurry Heart.

Put the Comedy Tag in it can't be full Drama all the time you know.

Who better to teach Spike than one of his Crystal followers?

Why am I thinking of a game so much

Fuck dude that scene at the end drew some major tears!

I really hope you find it in you to finish this story as the quality of character and emotion make this story pretty incredible. But if you can't find the motivation to go on writing then definitely don't force yourself.

Standing ovation for the Dragon Ace.

Pinkie senses are a tingling!

Bunch of racist ponies they are.

Mess with family all bets are off.

THIS is why Spike is the Brave and Glorious!!!!

For the record, not every griffin sided with Blueballs you forgetting Gilda and Gabby.

“Wait,” Bulk frowned, “Are you saying he’s not straight? Is he curved?”

(Anyone else LOL?)

Also wouldn't it make it more fair where each team must also have a member not compete because how is it that one who worked had to get where they are only to let the team done because of what others have done. That way they can see and discuss when they sit on the sidelines and watch knowing that their presence might help take gold? Or less likely to agree with something if it affects you as well.

:trollestia: Prince Blueblood made a valid point however in order to keep it fair each team must select another member to not compete in this year's Equestria games

8433161 Thanks, I will try to when I have the chance.:twilightsmile:

8433450 Yeah, I guess so. I feel a lot better knowing people like you are enjoying my story.:twilightsmile:Thanks for everything you do.

8433502 Thanks man. I'm really choked up right now. Thanks for your support.

8433885 Wow, thanks! I definitely want to keep writing this story now! Thank you for you encouragement.

8433348 I won't rush it, thanks. I still have plans for this story.

8433161 Thank you so much. I'll definitely continue it. I've put this much effort into it. I don't see why I couldn't put some more.

8433221 Thank you so much. Comments like yours make me happy that I shared this story.:twilightsmile:

8434850 I suppose they would be more reluctant to side with Blueblood. I meant that Griffonstone as a whole went to his side, but that doesn't mean they all agree with him. And thanks, I'm glad you're proud of Spike's actions in this chapter.:twilightsmile:

8435847 Yay, I wrote something that made you laugh!:pinkiehappy:

And yeah, Prince Blueblood may seem to have a point, but I don't support views like his. Hopefully, the other archers will change their minds about poor Spike. Time will tell.

8432857 ..yes? :twilightblush: I don't know. I guess ponies don't see those dragons like the dragons in dragonland or they just don't want to venture into Dragon Town? I'm sorry, I have no idea how to explain this. Comics and cartoon don't always line up.

8433558 I suppose not, but the story felt more dramatic than funny. I will certainly consider it though.

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