• Member Since 9th May, 2013
  • offline last seen July 21st

Guardsman_Sparky


T

I should have known something was up when I found an old Halloween costume in my closet from when I was six. I really should have known something was wrong when the costume actually fit.

...

Good thing Mewtwo is still one of my favorite Pokemon, because I am one, and this is most definitely not my world.

A Tale of the Displaced

April 8: Sorry all. Accidentally hit the Publish button on latest chapter before I was ready. Carry on.

April 9: Okay, the chapter Friendship Report is up for real now.

There are and will be crossover chapters with other Displaced authors and characters. Those chapters are meant to be fun, but I understand that some people do not like such crossovers. That is fine. The main story stands on its own: you can skip the crossover chapters without having to worry about missing anything important. Though I hope you will at least give those chapters a chance.

But please, do not comment solely to say how you dislike Displaced crossover chapters. It is not conducive, and it just spams the comments section with negativity. By all means, criticize my work, tell me what isn't working or what you think I could be done better, but please don't insult me by deriding my choices for my story. Any such comments made from here on out may be judged as spam and deleted.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 661 )

You sir/ma'am, are a bloody genius...

Have a fave and a track on me!

I once toyed with the idea of doing a MewTwo Displaced. But, you beat me to it. Well done so far, good sir/ma'am.

This is... surprisingly good so far, I came in fully expecting a fairly lame displaced story and I got a pretty good one though may I just say, please don't do crossovers, they do nothing to help a story and in my opinion subtract from the experience though I suppose if you insist on them I cannot stop you.

This is looking really good so far. Nice keep it up!

I tend to lose interest in Displaced stories reasonably quickly. I don't fully understand why, but if it's not because it's a crossover I'm not interested in, I suspect it's mostly to do with the particular writing style, and the story structure: The protagonist is usually way too powerful for the Equestria that they're in (and obviously, is also way to powerful for any Equestrias they crossover into with other Displaced), and the story overall becomes an uninteresting power fantasy.

I don't expect you'll run into that problem. So far, your writing has been rock solid, and you have some genuinely interesting ideas (the genius loci, for example). What I think is most critical, however, is that you won't have the issue of power scaling. Celestia and Luna both were able to hold their own against Mewtwo, and they were deliberately holding back. We don't even get a good sense of how powerful Discord is compared to Mewtwo, because he mainly wins the fight through strategy rather than brute force, which is mainly what Mewtwo has to work with. There is a lot of potential there for growth, as well as character growth as they find their place in the world.

I think that glossing over very quickly how everything got started was also a good move, as was not using the Merchant: The latter is overused and not normally executed well, and the former is not really relevant to the overall story.

Besides, by not using the Merchant, it leaves us to wonder exactly what entity or force started this adventure, and for what reason.

This is excellent. Easily one of the best Displaced stories I've encountered. Your non-standard approach makes it... fresh. Have a like, fav, track, the works.

Yah! A good Pokémon-related fanfic! I've clicked on a fair few of those, but the vast majority were...underwhelming. Not at all interesting.
This? PURE GOLD, unless Sparky were to stop updating (like so many other authors...) or somehow ruin it down the line. Happily, I don't see either of those possibilities happening.
And heck, I don't even know what a Displaced story is.

wait a second, a non-mature displaced story that made the featured list while the mature filter is off so there's clop in its way?

I have high hopes for this story.

...I'm... blown away.. A displaced story gets front page, there's no haters, no flamers, no trolls no huge thumb down bar.
massive congrats to you~

Looking forward to the next update.

I had really low expectation for this fic, but I gotta say, this is actually really decent!

Nice! I'll definitely track this one. I'm really interested to see where you go and like 8017540 said, what kind of character development you can create out of this.

8017774
8017755
Agreed. I think a veteran Displaced author like myself could learn a few tricks from this one.

UPDATE. NOW!


I really like this.

I like the way you have done this.

My friend, you have impressed me...

You made a solid story,left out any cliches, had absolutely NO haters at ALL, a fairly small dislike bar, AND you made these THREE chapters in ONE DAY?!
...
*clap... clap... clap... clap*
You have done well... in fact... your story making is impressive... hmmm...

I am impressed. Please do continue.

This is actually really good story nice plot and everything I may be good at coming up with ideas for stories but I'm not good at writing them you actually can come up with good stories and are good at writing them so I applaud you:pinkiehappy:

Goodness. could you imagine what kind of hilarity that must ensue when our human finds out that he was dubbed: "Hellcat"?

'Don't draw his ire' Hoh, more like his embarrassment.:rainbowlaugh:

You don't see too many "Human turns into a Pokemon in the MLP world" stories. This is a great one and I'm looking forward to reading more when the next chapter is out. :D

You have my attention, so please update soon!:twilightsmile:

You should add this to Pokemon groups.

Another day, another shitty Displaced fic in the featured box

8018471 He already knows he was dubbed "Hellcat"

What is "Displaced"? It looks like "Human In Equestria, Except You Turn Into Some Other Character When You Arrive".

another day, another troll in the comments

8018825A verry acurate discription actuly.

Wild Discord used Chaos. But nothing happened.

:rainbowlaugh: You now have my attention, good sir

8018825

A special genre of Self-Insert that usually revolves around the author cosplaying some fictional character at a convention and buying some item relevant to their costume from a Mysterious Shady Merchant.

Like if they're dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda, they might find a replica Master Sword at the Merchant's stall.

The item soon proves to be magic and whisks the character away to Equestria while at the same time giving them the body and powers of whoever they were dressed as.

From there, shenanigans, shallow wish-fulfillment, and terrible plot cliches ensue.

Seems rather neat, and I hope you will continue this! :pinkiesmile:

A wild story has gained my interest.

Track Y/N
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Save Y/N
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This Story has been saved. Likes and or faves will be determined by the next few chapters.

8017774
The butthurt users simply hadn't gotten to it yet. In my experience, Displaced stories never have negative ratios, no matter how bad they are.

So first of all, I didn't read this. I posted it into my local Discord chat and everyone freaked out over it. Then one of the moderators of the chat read it in the general voice channel for everyone to listen. It was both hilarious and cringe inducing for a variety of reasons.

Aside from the usual Displaced tropes such as poor writing, hilariously overpowered self insert, little explanation, forced references, turning canon on it's head for little reason...

Well, this had other issues. Such as linking music at the start of a chapter. Literally the first thing I saw in chapter 1 was a link to Pokemon music. I had to close the tab to stop laughing. How about explaining who the fuck the Mane 6 were on a site about My Little Pony fanfiction? You could have used that space to explain how you were able to hone psychic powers while being stoned.

Seriously, can I rail on the Mane 6 explanations? Because not only were they copy-pasted, redundant and useless, but completely unnecessary! Why! Why does this exist! Instead of actual explanations of stuff that matters, we get filler!

And that's not getting into how blatently overpowered Mewtwo is. Unexplained abilites out the wazoo, while the only reason why he lost to Discord was because "Oh yeah, I had no clue what I was doing." and not because he tried fighting a fucking Chaos God?

I know I'm bashing this a lot, but as of writing, this is the top fic on Fimfiction's Featured Box. Can I just reiterate that. When you enter this site, this is what you see. This is the forefront of Fimfiction's writing. A unoriginal, hackneyed, typical Displaced fic.

I don't regret listening to this being read and torn apart. It was a great laugh. Perhaps add a Comedy tag if you're going to make a parody? You can easily write this off as a parody with how perfectly you hit those cliches. It's a good read if you don't care about anything that makes a good story, like structure, writing, dialogue, all that shit. Seriously, half the third chapter is expositioning everything. Including useless Pokemon information dumps that are completely pointless, just like the prior Mane 6 descriptions.

I came into this with literally no expectations. You fucking took that nothing, and somehow it fell below those. Just your typical Displaced fic. Have some cheesy music.

I love how ironic the first chapter's title is.

This story is really bad.

8019324 While your accusations aren't unfounded, have you ever heard of bedside manner, or sugarcoating?
Constructive criticism goes a lot farther than straight up criticism

I love the people who are coming into this and flaming it, we are three chapters in people... We have no idea if the story is well and truly going to be good or bad, give this fic a chance to get a couple more chapters in and maybe a few crucial plot points before ya bring the hammer down... jeez.

8019151 You've never read A Boy and His Box have you? It is without question THE worst Displaced story ever. Well when they started, then it got booted so hard Jsyrin would nuke it if he could.

8019324
Does this guy also link music in the chapters? I love it when writers do that.

It's very interesting, but please don't do crossovers. They're just so overdone lately.

8019815

169 people are wrong.

A friend of mine uses a quote by Anatole France in situations like this: "If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

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