• Member Since 26th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen January 5th

Harmony Pie


Rapists can climb

T

Ditzy arrives at my boutique one fine morning to ask for a special dress for her little Dinky. I end up having a long talk with the mailmare about what it's like to lose somepony you love.


Rated Teen for dark themes


Pre-read and edited by the glorious mwap flops Swan Song and Nordryd


Cover art not by me, only blurred

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 141 )

Great job, this was very well done!

God, this was heartbreaking, Supernatural levels of heartbreaking even!:fluttershysad: Such a beautiful tale, never imagined a friendship between these two, yet somehow you made it work!

Great job, Leah! Yeeeeeeeeee

Even though I dislike Ditzzy being Dinkys mother I really liked it

Oh, man. I didn't get my permission slip signed for that feels trip. :fluttercry:

Cheers.

A big tearjerker. :fluttercry: It was good to see a friendship between Rarity and Ditzy.

Though, I felt Rainbow is a close friend of Ditzy.

...
*hits like and favorite*
....
*goes off to find a corner to cry in*

I had a feeling what this would involve when I read the description, but somehow I still wasn't prepared for the feels that came. :fluttercry:

Dinky is dead.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightoops: :raritycry:
Sorry for yelling...


Nice fic, but why are you trying to make me feel such emotion?!! I don't wanna be sad! :fluttershysad:

7450503 Your profile pic is what I live for.

7450566
...
I was just about to send you a link to this... :ajbemused:

Nuts... :fluttercry:

I knew it had a 'Sad' tag. Really, what did I expect to feel after reading it?

Good job, you evoked the emotions you wanted. I had a couple issues with the writing, but bringing them up right now would feel like I'm airing personal grievances at a funeral. Maybe I'll send a PM later if you're interested.

You have my upvote.
Write on

7450759

Thank you, and thank you very much for the follow! I'd be happy to recieve a PM about any details:twilightsmile:

This was just so heart-breaking but so wonderfully done, Harmony! My eyes are still damp as I write this. I saw only a couple of spelling errors but they took nothing away from how wonderfully you wrote this story. Your portrayal of Derpy's suffering through her grief was just heart wrenching. I especially like how you showed that even Rarity, as confident as she can be, can sometimes be unsure of how to handle a situation. This tale was just superb, in my humble opinion. Great work!

Great Fic. Love how you used the surroundings and internal dialogue to set the tone of the story.

The begging felt like it could used for bits of information as it felt it was missing something there...

This story certainly deserves a bonus chapter involving the aftermath of the funeral. Maybe have Ditzy thank Rarity for the dress and doing this for Dinky and Rarity leaving the scene on a light-hearted note.

I can't believe it! :raritydespair: I just can't, but at the same time, I feel like I have no choice but to accept. :fluttercry: Just like Ditzy. :pinkiesad2:

I...:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

media.giphy.com/media/bCf7FxSUw9XP2/giphy.gif


How did you not burst into tears in the process of writing this?:derpytongue2::fluttercry:

Hey look it's featured! :pinkiehappy::applecry:

Very heartbreaking, but well done.

Rest in peace, Dinky :raritycry::fluttercry:

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I have to say, this story is beautifully written.
And goddamnit, I have to hate it for that.
I know two people who have lost a sibling or parent to exactly this type of event.

Yay! It's up! Grats on fbox. :D

What's the source for your cover art?

No! Not Dinky! You monster! :raritydespair:

In my eyes, I can see the connection both Ditzy (Derpy) and Rarity have everything that has happened throughout the story. Something I would have done if one of my friends list their loved ones. It broke my heart a bit to know that Dinky is gone, but that doesn't mean she will be forgotten. At least she's in a better place. Great story by the way :twilightsmile:

What EXACTLY happened to dinky? I'm not quite sure I understood what happened.

7451470
Seems like it's probably not all that important to the story, besides the fact that she is dead.

What's with you people and all this sad shit today?

You tryna ruin me? Well?

Now, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

7451526 if i caught all the clues correctly then it was implied that dinky had a drug overdose of anti-depressants

This was fantastic. A couple things were actually rather familiar, in terms of the style it was written in I mean, it was similar in ways to how I would've done it, which is a plus in my book. I particularly like how you worded things, and you actually pulled off a first-person Rarity quite well. A lot of times people forget to add in the bias of the character, but you added it in decently, so I applaud you for that.

On the other end of the spectrum of writing, the plot was nice. I definitely haven't read the same one before, so that's a plus. It honestly reminded me vaguely of one of my older stories, but this was way better written than that shabby old thing. The interaction felt real, if only a tad exaggerated in my eyes at times, but then again, I've never encountered a grieving mother so I can't really compare it.

One minor gripe is the use of Ditzy Doo. I honestly prefer Derpy Hooves, though that is not going against you or the story in any small way, that's merely my preference. :rainbowwild:

Now onto the ehhh. Ditzy's mood swing really hit hard. I mean in the way that it was emotionally hard hitting, but also jarring. She seemed to go from an emotionless mare to a sobbing wreck just a tad too quickly for my liking, though I definitely liked that you wanted it to be sudden. Granted, you hinted that her facade was slowly decaying over the course of her visit, but it was still tid bit much of a change.

And I'm confused a little. Dinky is like... just nearing on the bottom of Ditzy's barrel in height, how on Equuis did she reach the pills? Was the cabinet on the floor? And for that matter, Ditzy never told her to not take medicine without her permission? In a way, and I hate to say it, Ditzy was grossly irresponsible and partially responsible for her daughters death in at least one way: not making sure Dinky knew not to take random pills and assume they were the right ones. But other than that, I don't really have many issues.

You kept the pacing right, and the tensing was all correct throughout the story—as far as I could tell from reading it anyway—and you did a good job of delivering on what you probably intended the story to do, induce feels of cry cry and sad face.

Well done.

Sadness :fluttercry:
Wonderfully written, though

7451575
While I agree with most of what you're saying, I must disagree with what you've said about Ditzy's parenting. She most definitely told Dinky not to take any medication or pills without permission, but children don't always listen to adults. Ditzy/Derpy would do anything to keep Dinky safe and happy, and any blame for Dinky's death falls in the black wings of death, and the cruelty of fate. I've dealt with death a bit too much, and I know how often this kind of thing happens, be it an accident or suicide, death takes away some of the best people in our lives, and no one can be blamed when it can't be stopped.

Yay! You made the feature box!

(wipes tears away) absolutely beautiful, well done.

So Ditzy was Derpy right? Derpy has so many names in this fandom its frustrating.

7451575

Thank you so for comment. I just added a sentence in, but basically, yes, Ditzy has told Dinky never to touch them. For whatever reason she'll never know, her daughter didn't listen.

It's never explained how Dinky got up, but Ditzy wouldn't want to focus on something like that, when she was still a bit in denial.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, regardless:derpytongue2:

Man this was really sad and I mean that as a compliment. Wonderfully written story.

7451725

Right:raritywink:

Derpy just didn't feel right in this setting

7451533

*sits down in corner*

7451470

Accidental overdose

(wakes up and looks for a early morning read...

finds this...

...
...
...

promptly goes back to bed)

" It's too early for this...... just take my feels already...... "

7451470

Derpy neglected Dinky by not locking the medicine cabinet. Dinky took some (actually a lot) of Derpy's anti-depression meds, probably trying to "be more like mommy," and overdosed. For some reason, instead of taking Dinky to a hospital to get her stomach pumped, Derpy sat and ate cookies with a comatose Dinky while she died. Or perhaps Dinky was already dead when Derpy found her, and the cookies were just part of the denial stage of grief.

Decently written. A few typos here and there, but not many. My main gripe is that Rarity's dialogue didn't feel right. She would abruptly break off trains of thought to begin new ones that didn't seem warranted by the context. A lot of the things she said were just flat, awkward, disingenuous sentiments that her character should know better than to express, especially since her thoughts make her seem very knowledgeable on how to handle the situation.

Regardless, not bad.

So the way everything points to Dinky being dead, NOT touching this

7451827 You can get out when you've properly reflected on your wrongdoings.

7451725
Ditzy Doo was her original name. Derpy Hooves or Derpy Doo is what the fanbase got her name changed to.

And I can't cry at the office man D:

7452307 That was never confirmed. The name Ditsy Doo was given to Derpy (Muffins/Mail Mare/etc.) because of the oversensitive fans that dislike the word "Derpy." "Derpy was later made canon in an actual episode, but was changed because of those whiny, oversensitive fans and over-protective mothers.
Now her name is "Muffins" as of the 100th episode. :derpyderp1:

...yay for SJW's, the killers of everything good and fun. :trixieshiftleft: :ajbemused: :applecry: :pinkiegasp: :fluttercry: :rainbowhuh: :raritydespair: :twilightangry2: :unsuresweetie:

Another astounding story, Harmony! And another box of tissues gone. :raritycry:

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