• Member Since 5th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

The 24th Pegasus


Author of the Commander Hurricane series (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and overall world building fanatic. Join my discord!

T
Source

Beneath the blistering blizzard and the freezing frost that swallowed the world, a group of ponies cling desperately to existence. They are the last of ponykind, and the future of their species, if one even remains, rests solely on their shoulders. Hidden in a crater from the worst of the wind, Rarity and the other ponies who managed to find shelter struggle to eke out an existence in a life governed by one rule, and one rule only:

The City Must Survive.


Cover art by Ruirik.
Editing by Solidfire.
Inspired by the wonderful game of Frostpunk.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 62 )

When I read the title, my mind reflexively went “frostpunk”. Sadly it’s 1 in the morning where I am, and I have lectures in the morning, so I can’t read it right now.:raritydespair:

Edit: it’s now 10:30, and I just finished reading it. Holy s:yay:t this was good. You can really feel the tension, and the emotion Rarity is feeling. I would have preferred a long story, right from day one, but I always prefer long stories so that isn’t really saying much.

:pinkiesad2:
Saw that coming, but it didn't make it any easier...

Saw the ending coming a mile away.

And this story really misses the whole point of the game.

Wait... What's Frostpunk?

9275283

Simcity with a meteor that causes the Ice Age to trigger and the only way for humanity to survive -50C temperatures is with a tower sized heat generator... in the daytime... on a clear sunny day... in a wind protected valley... and the temperature is only going lower...

Sypher #7 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

God damn, that was rough.

I really like the idea, but I think it needed more buildup to the climax. You spend a lot of time talking about how nopony has the will to do much more than subsist at this point, which makes the reaction to Dinky's death seem more unusual than it being the natural result of a building conflict.

Still, the premise is so cool.

Well damn that was rough as hell, a situation painful and truth, the spirit of frostpunk, no easy victories, only hard fought survival.

9275283
A game that this story is set in, the world is ending in an impromptu ice age and in an effort to save mankind several generators are set up in the coal rich north, your goal is to survive, it's a harsh game with tough choices. Victories are few and failures can cost you dearly.

"The Ponies must survive!"

Riku006 #12 · 2 weeks ago · · 1 ·

Ah 24, no one knows how to murder ponies as eloquently as you do.
While having never played Frostpunk, this definitely gives me a firm idea of what it'd be like. Regardless, this was a sorrow-inducing but well written story. The Two Thousand Miles series is going to have to step up its game if you wish it to match this for brutally tough choices.

This is just depressing, but it's depressing because it's written so well. I don't know what else to say. :fluttershysad:


Whether they heard her or not, Rarity didn’t know. She only turned away and covered her eyes as the mob surged up around the podium. Guards tried to keep them back, but the crowd was not so easily dispersed. As one, they fell on the podium, the guards, and the Mayor herself. Pushing against the crowd, Rarity tried to escape the chaos and block out Twilight’s screams as they dragged her down and set upon her with their hooves and their pickaxes and whatever else they could find.

I had that heavy feeling in my gut telling me that the Mayor was Twilight ― there's no other mane character left and she's known for being good with logistics ― but I tried to hope that it wasn't; that it wasn't my favorite pony who became a cold despot even out of necessity, that it wasn't her being killed by the pressing mob.

Alas, it seems that my hope was for naught. Just like everypony's hope in that Celestia and Harmony forsaken world. :ajsleepy:

Rainbow died in a riot, as did twilight in the end. AJ likely froze to death but how did pinkie pie go? Also rip lyra, bon bon and dinky.

9276434

The Furnace roared, throwing off wave after wave of scorching heat. Rarity stared at the fire raging in its heart and idly wondered what it would be like to sit in the middle of that miniature sun. Surely it had to be a more pleasant way to go out than her skin cracking into tiny frozen shards and her blood congealing in her veins if she ever happened to be caught without her layers of warmth on.

The image would be burned into her brain for the rest of her life, she knew. Even in death, her cheery smile had remained plastered to her face…

Last sentence remind you of anypony?

Wow, that was amazing. I love to have a sequel to see what they do now that he mayors dead. God, there’s so many bits I’m imagining like What happened during the mob of Canterlots and What happened to the other princesses and What Twilight was thinking throughout the story. Amazing!

9277827
huh I guess it was so subtle I missed it lol

Wow.

Great job! I have been looking for a story like this. I wanted to get a closer look on what my people felt and did when I was building my cities. This story gave me that closer look. And it was as horrifying as I kept denying it was.

But...

The city must survive!

Extinction in NOT an option!

...Right?

Rarity gave her a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry,” she managed again, pressing her cheek against Bon Bon’s. “If you want, I’ll join you at the cemetery tonight.”

Hey! At least you got a cemetery.
I heard new Manehatten just got a corpse-dump so they can re-use the organs for transplants.

A City is not a place, but a people. After a certain point, is it really surviving?

SHHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT that was pretty hardcore. I was half expecting for Twilight to actually be inside the furance keeping it alive with her magic but having her be the mayor and get riped to shred by the townsfolk was brutal

This story should have been split up into chapters. it has natural breaks for it.

But, damn. I have played the game, and being the one in charge can quickly make you blind.
This was a real hard story.

But hey, The 24th Pegasus, will you make sequels with the other stories from Frostpunk?

Set
Set #23 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

this was the most intense read ever. Like, i felt so immersed, i was shivering at the end of it. not from the cold but just from the fear and suspense.

I was figuring Twilight was in Canterlot, but damn. Poor Rarity.

Even if I kind of expected it to end as it did, it was still one hell of a punch... :pinkiesad2:

A very good grim-dark one shot, nice work.

I never got the chance to play Frostpunk, but I can tell that, baswd on what I saw on Youtube, you nailed the feeling quite right. Well done.

Also, if you consider a sequel, there has been another game set on a world with magic which its sun died out. But, instead of doing it like Frostpunk, they cleared out a mining complex and moved the entire city to it. They grew food using magic, and were safe from the cold. The name of the game is Arx Fatalis. And since Canterlot has cristal mines underneath it, well, the city could very well be moved to the underground caves.

Just my two cents.

9278844
9278334

No plans for a sequel, as this story already takes place in the darkest days of New Ponyville: the generator is stressed to its breaking point, supplies are low, ponies are dying left and right as the temperature is falling lower and lower, and to top it all off, they just murdered their mayor. It'd be hard to get lower than that and make a good story. That being said, there's always the possibility I'll think of something else that could be tackled in this frigid, snow-covered hellscape. What happened to Canterlot is always an option, and it's not like the Crystal Empire doesn't have experience surviving as an oasis of warmth and fertile lands in the middle of the frigid north and the howling storms there.

9275778
Unless you play on easy, that is.
I played New Home on easy the first time. The biggest issues was eventually storage, unemployment and urban sprawl.
There, the freezing storm were merely a problem, not a catastrophe.
Deaths in total could be counted on one hand (granted, I count in binary).
Yet still, it diden't get too boring. The game is great even on a casual difficulty level.

When I think about it, I am surprised you diden't go with the sawdust option instead of soup on the food decision.
The sawdust food is after all more filling than the soup, and don't freeze so easily.

Well done. I am a huge fan of 'This War of Mine' and have been considering buying this game. From what I understand, you did it fair justice.

The city must survive... no matter the cost.
Twilight understood this, even if a little too well.

Well, I know what game I'm getting next.

Whew, I kept hearing the game's music when I read this. Really seals the atmosphere, in my opinion.

9279157
Could always do a prequel to show how everything initially went done. Maybe Twilight had to sacrifice Spike to start the furnace and that’s why she’s so hell bent on keeping the city alive

Comment posted by Zh3sh1re deleted November 8th

9279226 I rather had a leg up over most other players when I started playing the game-- the game is remarkably similar to Starcraft 2, in that there is an optimal build order for structures to get the most out of everything you have. This allowed me to complete the New Home scenario on the hardest difficulty the game offered, once I discovered my own build order to use, while also completing over half the Steam achievements in just that one scenario.

Even so, what ended up saving me on that play through was rushing to get the abandoned Winterhome Automaton as soon as I possibly could. As soon as it got to my City (it took something like 4 or 5 days) I set it to work at a Coal Thumper. Despite only having like a 75-80% efficiency due to lack of research, having that lone automaton on a Thumper was enough to keep that Thumper continually full of coal, allowing my workers to work the two Gathering Posts to keep me in coal for most of the early game. From there it was just a matter of rushing food and heating research (by the end of that play through I had like 6 or 7 Workshops going full blast); as long as your citizens have adequate food and heat they're not as likely to get sick, which means you can be a little slow on the medical research. I did end up abusing the crap out of the Religious Soup Kitchens though. Those things providing extra heat instead of having to have a Steam Hub was a god-send.

9279727
uh man. Please do.

Really didn't expect to see something like this on here. Didn't think Frostpunk was popular enough to get a fic, let alone one like this. This was fantastic, and actually reflected the game quite well.

Everypone said it, many better than I can at the moment...
Wow.
This is going into my favorites, a rare feat.
Well done!

Zwei #39 · 1 week ago · · ·

This was fantastic. It was totally worth the extra 40 mins of no sleep.

Update: I just bought the game because of this story.
That's how good it is.

"Jesus..."

[This reader requires a moment to collects their thoughts because of how powerful that ending was.]

Ok wow, that ending, I have no words. I've only heard of Frostpunk, I don't know what it's about. However even without this knowledge, this story is absolutely Brilliant!
"Holy Marry of Joseph", this is a favorite of mine now, I certainty will be looking at your other stories Pegasus 24.

Order ponies! Let's trot to work!

9279226
I played on normal my first run through, managed to get the bad politician achievement and the achievement where you don't let anyone die (despite losing a scouting party) but I've always been good at strategic games, that being said I've played a few other modes and had bittersweet victories, like not having enough coal for the end of the seed vaults after giving to the nearby city.
Had a friend who didn't pay enough attention and blew up his generator twice.

9280443
I'm glad I'm not the only one. The desperation in this story is pretty similar to my first game right down to blowing up my generator.

The game must have really resonated with you, didn’t it? It has quite a fantastic setting for sure. And you nailed it big time with this story. Superb.

I guess my only compliant is where Twilight came from at the end. Suddenly we have her killed and we didn’t even know she was in the scene. But other than that, masterpiece of fiction right here.

Oh. Twilight is the mayor. Fuck...

You killed dinky . Bad author. Go sit in a corner and think about what you've done

9278336
My pleasure to help you. :twilightsmile:

I really liked the story. Through out I was thinking 'a little depressing, but it's fine.' ... That ending tho...


WHY DINKY??!?! WHY LIKE THAT?!!?!??!

At first I didn't like the ending, or maybe the setting, because geothermal is a thing and they should have all lived in the mines. You really don't have to go that far down to warm up. But then I realized that Twilight could have just opened the blowoff valves with her magic (she doesn't need line of sight, and easily has enough power), and instead sent a filly to die. When she could have teleported the filly in and/or out, alternatively.

Man magic is a buzz kill.

9279157
I would love to see what happened to canterlot/crystal empire. Or even a brief timeline of why everything went to shit. :x

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!