• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen January 18th

TheTimeSword


For someone named "TheTimeSword", I sure don't manage my time very well.

Sequels1

T

Check out the sequel: Here!


Twilight gets called into a meeting with Luna and Celestia. The kingdom is hurting for money and there's only one way to get rich quick. Celestia is going to have to film them making porn.


Written for the Monthly Shipfics group.


YouTube Reading by Scarlett Blade - Here


This story was featured!? Wow! Thank you all so much! :yay:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 94 )

Been grinning from the beginning to the end.

:rainbowlaugh: THIS WAS SO FUNNY.

That was far funnier than it had any right to be. Well played.

There are problems with punctuation and I noticed at least one case of homophone confusion (insight versus incite). but overall a good — and funny — story. Well done.

Pffft bahahahaha:rainbowlaugh: this was brilliant, I kinda wanna sequel to it

Aside from some Grammer errors this was hilarious!

6915498 I can't help but comment on the irony of you pointing out grammar errors while simultaneously spelling grammar wrong.

You're right though, it was a very funny story ^.^

6916528 Lol I just noticed! Sorry about that, I tend to mix up the letters in my head or think a word is longer.

6916536 Eh, it's no big. I type for a living so I spot these things easily XD

This made me giggle. Well played. *tips hat*

This is awesome :D

WAit a minute... isn't this based of that movie were some guys and girls make a star wars porno for a living and two of them have sex with love at the end!

I'm sitting at that crossroads of bizarre fascination and horrible disgust... You feel me?
There is only one way to finish this. I present you with the twenty-mustache-salute.

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:
:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:
:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:
:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

All the way through the story every time i heard Celestia and Luna say they were making this for money i couldn't shake the feeling that they were lying. Then the ending came and i was all like.

Comment posted by SunBlaze deleted Feb 9th, 2016
Comment posted by SunBlaze deleted Feb 9th, 2016

I love this perverted Celestia

Celestia is going to have to film them making porn.

Celestia is going to film Twilight and Luna filming ponies having sex...?

6918234
You know , that might be interesting in itself.
Just imagine for a second a "Behind the scene" of these two directing a porno. :rainbowlaugh:

Trollestia strikes again.

Comedic 'Porn' is best porn.

That was more amusing than I thought it'd be. And it wasn't even as stupid as I feared it'd be.
Just the right amount.

Good job :rainbowlaugh:

I laughed all the way through:rainbowlaugh:

Your profile picture suits this story perfectly.

*Stares at computer screen*
... What did I just read? I mean, I really like it, but... what?

Well it was TwiLuna... So I approve.

But... wut...?

Hilarious story. Strange. But very funny :twilightsmile:

“No, no! Just ignore the alicorn behind the camera!” I did laugh out loud!

“Oh no, I’m not mad.”

The moment we realised Twilight is mad as fuck. (That pun was intended.)

I think I know what will be the next equestrian blockbuster.
Maybe it will even find its way into the Griffon Kingdom and the Dragon Empire. (It totally will!)


Good story!

But one question to the author:
What will be the name of the finished production?

Oh my god, I could not stop laughing!

At first when I saw the title on the front page I just thought it was more of the same old porn that always seems to make it to the front page. But it turned out to be an epic comedy that demands an instant fav and thumbs up.

This needs a sequel where Twilight punishes Celestia for how naughty she has been. The video would then proceed to sell twice as much as the first one, what would make Luna green with envy... and then the end of the trilogy, "The Return of Nightmare Moans". It would be every bit as corny, deplorable and glorious as it sounds XD

DO IT!!! :yay:

I'm ashamed at how much this made me laugh

“Good, clean and boring.” Answered Luna with a shake of her head. “Married couples don’t sell, Twilight.”
“Hot lesbian sex on the other hoof! Now that sells like hot cakes!” Interjected Celestia, clapping her hooves together in excitement.

the brony fandom in a nutshell

6917964 thumbs up for making me chuckle

I shouldn't have found this as funny as I did.

6919638

the brony fandom in a nutshell

I sincerely hope you don't think that is in any way limited to just the brony fandom...

Should I tell them I’m going to sell this anyway?

And then Luna and Twilight doles out some payback by screwing Celestia and donating the video to the Royal Guards. Or maybe they'll just screw her.

dafuq did i just read

6919422 I specifically left the name of their film out of this story, because I probably would have called it "Buttfuck Sluts Go Nuts 29".

Well. This, uh, certainly was clickbait.

Sorry to say it did nothing for me. I think the story was trying to do too much at once. You've got the joke about the porno as a pretense for giving Luna a chance to get her freak on, and then the out-of-nowhere reciprocated love and trying to sell an actual emotional connection in a way that debatably isn't even for laughs, and Celestia the voyeur, and maybe they're broke after all, and then you're playing the lying-about-the-porno thing for actual drama and then laughing it off with a punchline again, and there are so many weird implications and take-backs and reversals flying back and forth that I found it impossible to turn my brain off and take in the humor you were trying to sell.

Kudos for the idea, anyhow, and enjoy the featurebox.

You know I feel about her

:rainbowlaugh: Seems so wrong but could be so right.

I think this would have made more sense if it was in Equestria girls.

6920538
Whoops! Edited this three times and proof-read four, still managed to miss a few things. :twilightsheepish:

"SISTER HELP ME!"
"Huh, oh right ACTION This'll be good"
"SISTER NO!"
"I'm sorry, i love you!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! that was good.

Poor Luna, taking the brunt of the punishment for Celestia's scheme. Hopefully she will be able to convince Twilight to kiss it better later that night.

If I were Twilight, I wouldn't focus all of my rage on Luna. After all, this wasn't really Luna's idea. Celestia, I hope you really, really, really, (really, really, really, really, really...) enjoy this kind of thing, because you're about to become a part of it. You'll be so sore, you won't be able to f*** for a month!

what...:rainbowhuh:
*reads more*
What:rainbowderp:
*reads more*
Oh my:rainbowlaugh:

It's just a prank bro.

“OH TARTARUS YES! She’s totally into it!” Celestia exclaimed as she zoomed in on Twilight’s face. “I always knew she was kinky!”

Yeah, I lost it right here. To damn funny.

“H-Hello ma’am. You ordered a pizza with a lot of s-sausage?” Twilight asked in the most monotone of voice.
“Oh, yes. I’ve been hankering for some meat.” With a deep, sultry voice Luna answered.
“Th-that’ll be s-s-sixty-nine bits.”

Sixty nine bits!

I know it's a joke (69 like the sex position, harharhar), but I keep thinking of it like they're equal to sixty nine dollars (or euros/pounds).
You'd have to pay with 69 at that price.

Good work by the way.

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