• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

TheTimeSword


For someone named "TheTimeSword", I sure don't manage my time very well.

Sequels1

E

The Society of Secret Sorcery. A domain of magic bent on helping Equestria in the shadows, or so its members believe. After causing terror in several cities, Twilight Sparkle takes charge in finding the culprits. The good news is Twilight doesn't have to deal with the society alone. Moondancer and Sunset Shimmer, one a former member, the other an infiltrator, are more than willing to help. Working together, they must find out the identity of the mysterious leader and put an end to the society.


Takes place at a random point after the Season 7 finale.

Crafted cover art by the wonderful Little Tigress!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 31 )

This story idea is actually thanks to a user named PatchworkPoltergeist. I'll bet they'll never know they're the one who made this story possible! :rainbowlaugh:

Awww! Sad Minuette! :(

But interesting idea. ^.^

Points for initiative, and suspiciousness.

That Minuette apparently doesn't care about the ponies endangered speaks volumes about this secret unicorn society and its true intentions I suspect.

Well this fits right in with the previous shown no concern with the ponies they endanger or could have possibility killed...

9926287
In before teirek is actually the good guy

Your really good with writing

This has been SUCH a great reading! I am excited to see what happens next and I AM LOVING SUSNET SHIMMER IN THIS! Great job so far!:rainbowkiss:

Half expecting for Sunset to hijack the ritual.

And so... begins a new universe of chaos of which Discord would never had dream of achieving...

Alicornverse has been born :rainbowderp:

May all the residents of this world who isn’t a pony find peace with the new race... also rip Pony tribes

Well I do have to wonder how widespread the effect was. Really needs a epilogue though.

10554183
Or maybe a sequeeeeel? :) Just gotta know how the main six deal with it, after all.

10554296
Biggest issue would be political upheaval. What happens when the one thing that makes someone special, the Alpha leader, etc is now a common trait? When Donut Joe is a Alicorn is being a Alicorn now a leadership thing? Or even scarier, what if two of the new made Alicorns breed? Will Alicorns be born en masse? But the all important question will be, if everyone is now a Alicorn will that drive Rarity crazy as everyone is now 'special' or will she make a fortune selling princess dresses and gaudy jewelry to the new nobility?

I didn't really understand this story.

Ook.. it sounds like... Faith uses philosophical structure of Tree of Harmony known to us... but... Faith (Da'at, the Ultimate Knowledge) and Magic are... instances of same thing, interchangeable.

This is clearly an evil society that wants to take power for themselves. I think that Minuette was ver OoC though in her refusal to reveal anything.

Given that the society's actions don't fit at all with their claims I don't think their attraction is as strong as Sunset states once you know the truth.

An unreformed Sunset would hvae told the society to just put her in charge since she's obviously the most powerfull unicorn they will ever meet. Given that Sunset shows concern about being outmatched shows how she's matured.

Given that the masters are canon characters it's a bit weird to have the grandmaster be an OC. I still think Minuette is extremely OoC sine she seems to care more about the secret society than anything else.

I can't say I liked this story. Creating a false Element shouldn't be possible and Faith would be punished by the Tree since the Tree is sapient. The destruction of the tree and the Elements makes no sense nor does the power of the false Element that Faith made. Minuette is truly horribly OoC and comes across and very selfish in not caring about Twilight or Moondancer. I downvoted this because of all those problems.

11038585
Thanks for the input. I do have to point out that a new Element was not created, but is considered a false Element, as it holds a lot of magic pooled by the ponies of the society. Similar to the Elements being created by the Pillars but not an Element itself. On top of that, Faith was also punished for her actions by literally getting disappeared. The consequences of her actions led to the destruction of the tree—vis-à-vis the Elements' power being released. But my eyes consistently glaze over when someone claims a character like Minuette being out-of-character. What was OoC for a character that has only had one episode with barely any speaking lines? Should I have written her to stand in the background the entire time, as that would certainly be in character. Her entire personality in Amending Fences was that she liked to hang out with friends—even trying to bring Moondancer along before giving up. Bringing Moondancer into the society was on point. Crafting her desire to continuously hang out with her friends in the society was on point. Being annoyed that her social standing among her peers was destroyed by Moondancer revealing the society was on point. After continuously being kicked in the teeth, lashing out at your friend (Twilight) makes the most sense, even if it isn't a smart decision. We hurt the ones we love.

I usually don't respond negatively to criticism of my work—I believe all opinions can help a creator grow and are justified within reason—so take pride in the fact that you're a rarity.

11038779
The fact that Minuette keeps believing that the society is good despite all evidence to the contrary makes her OoC to me. Also she doesn't have the same realistion as Saffron Masala at the end which increases her uncharacteristic behavior since it seems very strange that she's willing to fight three of her friends (counting Pinkie) for a society which has done very questionable things and nothing good yet.

11038784
The society is proving their powers by all the experiments—the aftermath isn't observed as the unicorns are shown simply leaving once the experience finishes. Their stated goal is to be a society ready to engage should the princesses fall, which is a noble and good goal, even if it's a lie to their members. "She wondered what sort of things the Masters told other members. There needed to be a reason. Maybe a villain could fly, reach Cloudsdale, and they were testing if they could pull the city down. "

It doesn't help that Twilight showed up with Tirek, the ultimate rival to unicorns. It's the equivalent of Jesus showing up with Hitler and saying, "No, you're the bad guys, I swear!" And everybody in the cave is Jewish. It's not going to fly.

Saffron had the unique position to side with Sunset who knew the aftermaths—but even Sunset stated she found their false goal to be quite promising.

Yes... You did it. the last fic this was in it was considered a declaration of war.

11036781
Normally I would agree but... do we really know her? Beyond one episode we have little to nothing to go on.

Though he heartily laughed, the tension didn’t break. “Oh heavens no. Draining ponies of their magic would really put a damper on their friendship with me. But I’ve never been given a chance, either!”

They way you were introduced you never harmed a pony until after Celestia flew beyond any canon map and delivered vigilante justice. I am not sure you ever have a why beyond power and ponies happened to be a nearby source

The three took a step from the table to reform their plan of attack. “Okay, I really don’t want to sign their contract,” Twilight whispered. “And even if Tirek could contain himself for a minute to drain their magic, I don’t want Celestia to pay in the end. Even if these two are con-artists, they’d get a fair trial. Really debating on whether or not to join Tirek in Tartarus at this point. Moondancer, do you have any ideas?”

You could of done what i would do; show up with a warrant and a squad of guards.

I can imagine Saffron's introductions the next day taking a detour from her expectations.

"Hey guys, so you know how yesterday we were betrayed directly to Princess Twilight and had to switch all our secret hiding spots and are now hiding from the Equestrian, Crystal Empire, and changeling authorities? I found this super-strong and super-smart unicorn no one has ever heard of last night, she can make new spells and she even has a sun cutie mark!

"W-why are you guys pointing your horns at us?"

And then it struck Sunset. Not once did the Masters say they couldn’t ask for help!

They also didn't say the applicants couldn't damage the other pony's box, which seems more like the intended mantra of a group working together to protect Equestria. Neither could succeed alone, Minuette couldn't succeed using Sunset's method since her friend Moondancer wasn't there, and Sunset shouldn't have succeeded using a method that circumvented the Society's desire to keep initiates from identifying and recognizing each other. The end result was a spy moving up the ranks and an established member coming to resent the Society and its members, instead of two valuable members strengthening their ties of friendship and camaraderie by relying on each other. That really contrasts with

“In a way, you surpassed even our own mantra. Helping Equestria requires us all, and you proved that in asking for help.”

Asking for help, rather than offering it.

11038794
Honestly, Twilight is the most out-of-character character in this story. She starts the investigation of an existential threat to Equestria by taking Tirek and Moondancer with her, but no one else. No guards, no Royal Guards, no officials of the crown, not even local police. She strolls around with no escort and an unrestrained Tirek who is causing visible terror and driving away a lot of potential sources of information, making the pony they question at the print shop so frightened that all they get from it is who owns the building, but not who owns the print shop or who rents the office space.

Then she goes to Las Pegasus and Moondancer even comments on how many hours they are losing because of Tirek and Twilight signing every autograph and taking every photo-op because they are mobbed by tourists who won't go away until they get what they want, which is what an honor guard or police escort is used to prevent. They go into the bowling alley, don't ask the staff where the managers or bosses or owners are, and search blindly with Tirek still in the open. Once they find Flim and Flam, Twilight "bellows" they're under arrest even though she has no police with her, and the twins don't even bother to refuse; they flatly ignore it and proceed to nearly succeed at forcing a princess of the realm investigating an existential threat to sign a binding three-year contract in exchange for a tiny amount of information because she doesn't have a warrant or single law enforcement pony with her. Twilight's only option she can think of is publicly and loudly threatening to use Tirek to steal their magic, which the twins "outwit" by threatening to use the legal system to sue the crown if she does. Moondancer then manages to save the day by luckily remembering, and then threatening the twins with, all the by-the-book, standard operating procedures that are routinely conducted by police in the course of a criminal investigation.

Login or register to comment