Rarity's decided to break up with Applejack, but were they even an item in the first place? And, perhaps more importantly, what does Applejack have to say about it?
Hijinks, of course, will ensue.
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
- online
Tumbleweed
A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).
Tumbleweed
Joined 30th Jan, 2012 ·
Online
Sequels3
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Tumbleweed · 7.1k words · 79 5 · 1.8k views
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Tumbleweed · 4.7k words · 65 4 · 2.1k views
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Tumbleweed · 4.8k words · 60 6 · 1.3k views
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The premise is amusing, but that's all I can really say at this point because of how short this initial chapter is. No complaints mechanically but I'm not very focused on those sorts of things. Write more and I'll read it, it does sound interesting, but all you have right now is a story hook and no story.
Seems legit.proceed please
You're right in that vortex
This chapter was too short to get a good idea of whats going to happen, but I'm definitely going to keep reading. Looking good so far
Amusing, and not what I was expecting. I was pleasantly surprised.
I think I'll keep this one in mind and give it another look once there are more pieces.
So, yeah - interesting. Pretty good.
Hooked, looking forward to further updates. Slightly wondering how the whole Rainbow/twilight thing is going to play out. Or was it just a gag for that specific moment? Either way, your stuff always amuses me so I can't wait to see more.
Oh dear. Fluttershy, what havoc have you wrought?
Well, one way to find out. Faved!
693210
I do believe that's a reference to Strange Bedfillies (Or: Nopony Loves Twilight Sparkle).
As for the fic, others have already pointed out it's a bit short, but if you'll update it frequently, it's going to be okay, methinks.
Under normal circumstances I'm not a big fan of shipping, but it's Tumbleweed, so it goes without saying I'm looking forward to the rest.
Oh excellent, more from the Bride-Zilla universe.
Please continue.
Someone listen to Wilco much?
Anyway, it's really too soon to completely judge the story's quality, but the setup is interesting enough to want to keep at it. There's nothing glaringly wrong with it mechanically or stylistically, so you shouldn't worry about that.
697982
Actually, I like JC Brooks & the Uptown Sound's cover a lot better. :)
I am intrigued.
I'm not the worlds biggest RariJack fan, but this is too awesome. You're an amazing writer. Keep it up!
Oh... lord... This is funny as heck. Methinks Rarity's going 'bout it all wrong.
Wow, rarity... A romantic picnic for two as a means of breaking up with someone who you haven't even been dating? just... wow.
also, you get a moustache.
Brilliant! I was dying to read a Rarijack by you since the Nobody Loves Twilight fic.
You see? There was a "a perfectly reasonable explanation for [Applejack and Rarity] sometimes go out to Applejack's farm and then come back with sawdust and straw in your mane and then the both of [them] pretend like it never happened." They were having dance lessons! Should've remembered to Learning Curves...
Anyway, will this end in real breaking up, or will Rarity realize she does, in fact, love AJ? I, for one, would prefer the former, but as long as the fic keeps being hilarious, I keep reading, that's for sure!
"Applebloom, we live in Ponyville. Everythin's pink n' flowery n' gots hearts on it."
Applejack, does Pinkie know that you took one of her lampshades?
Every sentence is improved by adding "with a bear" to the end. With a bear.
Also, this was a fantastic chapter. Well, except that "Wonderbolt" is capitalized. With a bear. Other than that, fantastic.
Well, this has reached about a 7.5 on the awkward scale
is shaping up to be pretty funny.
712119 I agree...with a bear.
This is really good. Like really freaking good. Love how you made Applejack blunt but not a bitch like every other writer in the world does. Also love how she was all naive about the kiss. Rarity and Fluttershy were done perfectly too.
A few mistakes though:
"there's a really a vulnerable"
"Rarity levitated the bottle of red wine the basket"
So good. Keep it up.
Oh yes, hijinks will definitely follow!
Rarity's breaking-up skills could use some work.
Normally I ain't one to comment, but there's just something delightfully charming in the way you write Applejack. Also, your Rarity and Fluttershy are spot on. I died at "With a bear." This chapter was hilarious.
I think I just got whiplash from Rarity's explanation.
I had to legit walk away from the computer I was laughing so hard at Rarity.
And she has now made it worse. or better?[/Zim]
Oh yeah, this gave me a severe case of the lulz.
The embarrassment, I can feel it...
So great and so funny.
in a good way
But every time Rarity opens her mouth for me it's
You have earned a mustache from me as well.
I look forward to reading more, I'm curious to see where you are going with this. 
I totally love Rainbow Dash in this chapter. She is a moronic braggart who shows a sort of, uh, sexism for people in same-sex relationships, if you get my drift. But at the same time, it both works, and she comes off as well-meaning and... not pleasant, but likable. I dig your RD.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This won't do. This won't do at all! Because... Tumbleweed, y u no publish longer chapters more often?
I need my fun dose!
You're killin' me, Tumbleweed! Why do you torment me with such small tidbits of a wonderful story? There are a few grammar issues, mostly with run-on sentences in dialogue, but that's no big deal. The important part is the actual story, which is AWESOME!
Keep it coming.
Oh, good lord. It's so cool how in-character they are and the poor communication makes so much sense here! I love this so much. Please keep it up.
This is my favorite romance fic right now. Thanks for this.
All of these ponies are doofuses. Which is perfect.
Carry on!
Not only is this really funny, the characterization works perfectly. Rarity is melodramatic and protests way too much; AJ is honest and straightforward; Fluttershy is the meek voice of reason nobody listens to; and Rainbow Dash is... well, she's Dash. Well-intentioned, tactless, brash and entirely too interested in action to really think things through.
The title of this is also a Wilco song. Good song incidentally.
I really like how young they all seem, its really funny and a nice refresher from almost every other fic where they seem to belike 26 or something
I yelled out loudly "Aww yeah, I Am Trying to Break Your Heart!" when I saw the update... fortunately no one was in the room.
There were some priceless moments in the story (such as when the waiter met RD and FS), though I found a mistake:
"But. Um. Miss Rarity. You, um, have a phone call in the back." She nodded. "It's for you. Just you. Very important."
should have been
"But. Um. Miss Rarity. You, um, have a phone call in the back." She nodded. "It's for you. Just you. Very important. With a bear."
Don't know why your proofreaders didn't point it out!
And I see you finally took our advice and started to post longer chapters more frequently! Good, good, let the ponies flow through you!
This is the most consistently entertaining story I'm reading right now. Keep it up!
this is just hilarious
i have avoided this story for the longest time because i read the description thinking that it was more about them breaking up not um, this. but i finally gave it a chance and man am i glad i did 
keep up the awesomeness !
Uh, yeah, that was kind of the point. By presenting absurdist neo-romanticism as postmodernism, Untitled Seven was obviously making a deconstructivist statement about the ephemeral, cyclic nature of artistic movements and the short attention spans of the contemporary gallery-goer. I mean, duh.
"story. about how Rainbow Dash was going" <-- Should capitalize 'about'.
I'm not sure if I've already commented on a previous chapter (and I'm not going to check), but this is just fantastic. Most fics as of late have failed to entertain me, but this one just keeps making me giggle to myself like a freaking school girl. It's well written, interesting, funny, and all of the characters are completely in character.
Great job, and here, have a mustache.
"This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
Oh, such a wonderful fifty-car pileup! And what's better is it's believable and in-character, too!
879985 Thanks captain obvious.
Hah! Complications piling up on complications, and Dash's not to be praised!
I really want to see what sort of a letter to the Princess Twilight Sparkle will get out of this whole mess.
HAhaha, that poor exceedingly happy waiter. He should have some good dreams tonight.....
That was a very funny, clever chapter! Thanks for writing this!
You this is why I have you on my watch list. Everything you produce is consistently funny.