//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: I Am Trying to Break Your Heart. // by Tumbleweed //------------------------------// "I just don't know what went wrong!" Rarity rubbed at her face, and looked down the path. Applejack was long gone, but she remained wary, in case the cowpony were to make a sudden return. "Um." Fluttershy said, looking off down the path as well, "maybe you were just a teensy bit . . . indirect?" "That's the whole point! There's no elegance, no style in just saying 'oh, by the way, we probably shouldn't date even though you're a lovely pony.' Why, Applejack would be absolutely heartbroken!" "I think she's a little tougher than that." "But can we take such a risk? Why, if what if I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and do so much emotional damage that Applejack is never able to truly love again? I simply couldn't live with myself afterwards!" "Are you sure it's that, um, serious?" "Fluttershy, I am always serious." "Oh. Um. Okay." "Now." Rarity shook her mane and tilted her nose upwards in a refined gesture. "This is only a...minor, setback. After all, it shouldn't be hard at all to get ahold of Applejack and explain the situation before things get more...complicated. Really, it shouldn't be hard, I imagine. It's just a matter of damage control. The key is to nip this in the bud before Applejack tells anypony." "Hey Rainbow Dash! Guess what! I gots me a girlfriend!" Applejack called across the somewhat busy diner. She'd decided to pop in for a bite (romance made her hungry, for whatever reason) and was pleasantly surprised to see her good friend there. The pegasus looked up from her plate of alfalfa nachos. "Wait. What?" "You heard me." Applejack tilted her hat upward, and smiled up at the pegasus. "Don't mean to brag or nothin', 's just I gotta tell somepony, n' you're right here, n'...well, you get the idea, right?" "So, uh, wait." Rainbow Dash wiped some cheese from the corner of her mouth. "You like girls now?" "Nope." Applejack said, "I like a girl. 'n she likes me. Kinda. Sorta. I think. But it's still pretty neat!" "No kidding!" Rainbow Dash said, "so, who's the lucky mare? Anypony I know?" "Maaaaaybe." Applejack smiled, more than a little smug. Rainbow Dash stared at Applejack. "Well?" "Aw shoot, fine. Ya got it outta me. Me n' Rarity are . . . " Applejack trailed off. "Uh. Well, I ain't sure what to call it, but somethin's happenin'. I think. Maybe." "Go fig." Rainbow Dash said. "Good for you, I guess." She tilted her head, peering carefully at Applejack for a moment. "So what happens next?" "Whaddya mean?" Applejack squinted up at the pegasus. "Well, it's none of my business, but aren't relationships a lot of work? Kind of why I don't bother, myself." "You sayin' I'm lazy?" "Psh, no." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, "but it's, like, different. Not like bucking apples, but...I dunno, feelings and stuff." Rainbow Dash glided smoothly to the ground in front of Applejack. "Like, Rarity's pretty great and all, but doesn't she strike you as a little...high maintenance? She's gonna expect you to...like, do stuff. Romantic stuff." "Really?" Applejack said. "Totally. Haven't you been paying attention? Rarity makes a big deal out of everything. And that's just the normal stuff. If you two are dating, you're gonna have to do something super impressive." "That...makes sense." Applejack said, her eyes going wide. "Aw heck, I hadn't planned that far ahead! Shoot, now what do I do? I ain't never had a girlfriend before." Applejack paused, and then bit at her lower lip. "I guess I gotta do somethin' all romantical." "Psh, don't worry, Applejack. I got you covered. They don't call me Cloudsdale's best wingmare just 'cause I've got the best, um, wings." "They don't?" "They totally don't! Even though I do! Have the best wings, that is." Rainbow Dash flapped the aforementioned wings, and beamed. "Seriously, I got this covered. You've just gotta do something big and flashy and romantic-like, and then Rarity's gonna totally want to jump your bones." "Rainbow!" "You saying you don't want her to do that?" "I ain't sayin' nothin' 'bout that!" "Psh, fiiiiiine." Rainbow Dash said. "Still, you want my help, or not?" "What if I say no?" "Then I'm going to help you anyway, and it's gonna be even more awesome. Like, ninja matchmaker! Oh man, can you say no, and that way I can do that? It'll be rad." "Aw heck, iffin' ya put it that way, I'd rather keep my eyes on ya. But no funny buisness, ya hear?" "Fine, fine. I'll leave it up to you to seal the deal." "What's that even mean?" "I'm....not exactly sure. Oh, hey look, there's Rarity right now!" Rainbow Dash pointed to the door. Sure enough, Rarity trotted into the restaurant, speaking over her shoulder as she did so. "In any case, a situation such as this one is bound to keep me awake awhile. And there's no sense in going into an all nighter without the proper provision- Ah!" She stopped speaking as soon as she saw her friends on the other side of the room. "I mean, Ah-pplejack! Such a surprise to see you here. So soon. Tonight. Ahem." "Um." Fluttershy peeked out from behind Rarity's shoulder. "I would've told you I saw them earlier, but I didn't want to interrupt you." "Oh. That's...quite alright." Rarity said, "I...do tend to go on, don't I? Regardless, there's no reason why I shouldn't be happy to see some of my best friends, no?" "Good ta see ya too, Rarity." Applejack said. Her cheeks began to color. "Oh hey, look at the time!" Rainbow Dash said, "I mean, I already ate- and I'd love to stick around, but I've gotta run. And Fluttershy's gotta go with me. Pegasus stuff, you know." She winked conspiratorially at Fluttershy. "With a bear?" said Applejack. "Totally!" Rainbow Dash beamed. "But, oh, I know! You and Rarity can keep each other company while me and Fluttershy are busy!" No sooner were the words out of Rainbow Dash's mouth, she took to the air, scooping Fluttershy up and dragging her from the restaurant in a prismatic blur. "Ya ever wonder iffin' all that time up in the clouds does somethin' ta a pegasus' brain? Like, lack of oxygen or air pressure or somethin'?" Applejack shrugged. "Oh!" Rarity hid her giggle behind her hoof. "You know that's not true." "Maybe. But it'd explain a lot." "Mmm, yes, I suppose it would." Rarity sighed, "in any case, ah...well, I suppose it's just the two of us then, isn't it?" "Uh. Yeah. Guess so. Ya hungry?" "Famished." Meanwhile, outside, Rainbow Dash peered into a second story window. "Is this what you meant by pegasus stuff?" Fluttershy asked, timid as ever. "Nope. That was kind of a lie." Rainbow Dash turned to look at her fellow feathered friend. "But it's totally okay to lie to people if you're going to do something good for them." "Um. Are you sure about that?" "Pretty sure, yeah. Besides, Applejack told me the whole story. And I've got it all figured out. It's simple! All we gotta do is make sure the two of them keep talking, and everything's gonna work out just fine!" "Oh wow, that's actually a really good plan." Fluttershy tried (and failed) not to sound too surprised. Rainbow Dash didn't notice, either way. "It's not just a good plan. It's an awesome plan, that's what." With a flutter of her wings, Rainbow Dash returned her attention to spying on her ground-bound friends. "Huh," she said, "they're just talking. Here, Fluttershy, take a look." Sure enough, Applejack and Rarity sat at a corner booth in the diner, talking quietly. Fluttershy perked her ears, straining to hear even a little bit of their conversation, but the distance was too great, and the window too well sealed. "Okay, I've got a new plan! We've gotta get things moving. And I know just the thing we need- quick, Fluttershy, go find me a pen and paper!" "But why do you--" "Quick, there's no time! I'd go myself, but I've gotta keep an eye on things here!" Rainbow Dash shoved Fluttershy off the roof. She squeaked as she tumbled through the air, but managed to beat her wings in time to take to an unsteady hover. "If you say so," she murmured, and took off. "Hurry! There's a lot at stake here!" Rainbow Dash yelled at the departing blur of pink and yellow. She smiled, and then returned her attention to the window. "Without our help, Applejack's never gonna get laid." Thankfully, Fluttershy was already too far away to hear that part.