• Member Since 22nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 30th, 2014

Lycan_01


T
Source

Rarity's search for gemstones leads her to Sweet Apple Acres, and Applejack has no problem guiding her around the orchard. But when a freak storm strikes, the two ponies must race against the tempest to find shelter.

As the storm rages overhead, Applejack wrestles with the growing unrest within her heart regarding Rarity. And as events unfold, Rarity is forced to examine her own opinions and feelings towards her best friend.


(This is a RariJack shipfic, written per request/challenge for a friend.)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 41 )

So yeah, this is actually my first attempt at a real shipping fic. A friend of mine wanted me to do this story as both a request and a challenge, and I was happy to oblige. They were pretty happy with the finished product, so I figured I'd share it here for y'all to enjoy as well. I hope you like it! :twilightsmile:

I do so love RariJack. Good story, but you should go back and edit it. There are a few typos.

Haha, I must say, I liked it! I'm usually not too big on this pairing...perhaps it was delusional Applejack that reeled me in. 'Twas a cute story!

If you don't mind, I'd like to help a bit.

[Rarity had been using her magic to look for gemstones, and Applejack had been telling her which spots in the orchard she’d actually allow her to actually dig up.]
The word 'actually' is used twice within a few words of each other. Seems a tad redundant, no?

[The two had been so caught up in their work that they had no noticed the dark clouds moving in overhead.]
I assume that needs to be a 'not?'

[Applejack wasn’t sure if “crush” was the right way to describe her feelings for Applejack.]
Um...you mean Rarity?

Hope this helped! I'd like to see more like this story!

Wha HOO! Two new Rarijacks in one night? Fantastic!

And not only is it well-written, it's full of SQUEEEEEE!

Aww, that was rather cute.
Good story. =3

that was pretty freakin' good.

:yay: enjoyd, thank you!

Well, I'm a hard-core Flarity Shipper, but I LOVED this. No ridiculous sex, just innocence. :raritywink:

Now that was cute.

Great job! Some typos and stuff that have already been pointed out, but overall I loved you characterization. Just awesome.

FUCK!
I had this EXACT idea.

Oh wow, thanks a lot for all the niceness! I'm so glad to see so many people enjoying the story, as well as all the Favs and Watches. Thank you all very much, and I'm very glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:



995971 It's not my favorite pairing either, honestly. But I wasn't going to turn down a request and/or back away from a challenge. :rainbowdetermined2:
Also, thank you very much for pointing out those errors. I'm kinda shocked they made it past several proofreads and two pre-readers. :pinkiegasp:

996106 Glad you thought so! :twilightsmile: *notices your name* Heh heh heh. Sorry, but your name is wrong. :trollestia:

996146 Well I hope it lived up to the expectations of your gif. :rainbowlaugh:

996234 You enjoy Fluttershy/Rarity shipfics? Oh, well then you're just going to love the next fic request/challenge a different friend gave me. :ajsmug:
And yeah, I prefer to write my pony romances as (relatively) innocent. There are some lines I just don't feel comfortable crossing... :twilightoops:

996380 Oh dear, I'm sorry to have upset you. But what's stopping you from being able to still do it? I'm sure there are enough differences in our ideas that no one will scream "PLAGIARISM!!" at you or something. And it's not like your trying to stealthily steal my story; I mean, you just came out and told me you already had the same idea. And even so, I'm fairly certain our writing styles and stuff are quite different. So, go ahead, feel free to take a stab at it. I don't care. :pinkiehappy:

I'm glad I stayed up to read this. Your exceptional characterization turned a simple premise into a masterpiece of humor and heart attack inducing levels of adorableness.

Rarity should only be with:moustache:.
That said, I enjoyed this, what with its light-hearted humor and cutesy romance. Nice job.

996605
No, dude I'm not pissed, I just literally had that same idea, to the T

996605 What do you mean my name is wrong?:rainbowderp: and your welcome:pinkiehappy:

This was so sweet! :twilightsmile: Applejack and Rarity appear to not like each other too much in the show, so I can see how shipping them is considered a "challenge". Excellent job though!

Rarity leaves very little room for argument I see......well done madam well done indeed -chuckles and claps in approval- I do enjoy these little groupings as they are so interesting to read up on.......So wish there were more like these floating around.

This was a really good fic. Nothing too long, just short and sweet. I have to say, you did a very good job with character interaction, and how Applejack acts upon her feelings.

My second favorite pairing (:rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:), but still very well done. Have a thumb. :twilightsmile:

Utterly. Perfect. :raritystarry:

That was a really good story. I'm favoriting this! One of the best Rarijack stories I've read, I dare say. I'd love to see a sequel someday or some sort of continuation.

Also, I feel like the thunder was trolling us.

Wow, I'm fairly impressed with how you made Applejack and Rarity interact, not mention the charming humor intersparsed between it. And it's well written technically to boot.

Definitely a worthy read!

'Shut up and drink your tea'
I had a flashback of Cid Highwind from FF 7.

Romance with just a bit of silliness, I love that.
You're one heck of a author, my friend.:rainbowdetermined2:

Boy that fever escalated quickly! :rainbowderp:

This is really good, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you :D

omfg, this was amazing!!!

It is a nice read but that fever rapidly grew and then all but faded with some tea and some sleep, when a fever progresses rapidly it is usually serious buisiness requiring medicine. (An easy fix with some minor editing)

AJ's fever confession was very concise, the fever you describe sounds similar to delirium and that kind makes very little sense and rarely follows one direction for an amount of time, it is a-lot like speaking out dreams it's scrambled makes little sense but you can get the romantic idea across anyway. It did not quite fit is all i am saying, a delirium would certainly weaken the patients self-restraint and make them spill their secrets as portrayed but not quite as thoroughly as i see here, Unless this was just AJ actually mare-ing up and confessing with the pretense that she could write it off as silly non-sense she said while sick if it did not turn out well. (Which is not well evidenced in this reading)

Now i know you probably don't know much about Geology and as this is your first fic i should not complain but assuming there were indeed gems in the acres 2 things. One they would commonly be down deep below the topsoil in hard rock, or exposed near a stream or bare hilltop or hillside perhaps a cave. Two Mining an area damages and destroys top soil, this would poison or kill the trees and ruins the surrounding landscape for planting. Normal readers will not spot this and pass by un-phased but i am a Geology Student and for me this kills the reasoning for the backdrop of the story. It is not your fault in the least as you were most likely unaware, it just perturbs me because i do know these things. (Just an FYI, i mean no disrespect by this)

Now my complaints aside this is well written and quite enjoyable, there were simply facts you were unaware of.

Good job over all. :twilightsmile:

1705781 My my. Clever little fellow, aren't we. :trixieshiftright:

Nah, it's cool. I know you mean no insult or slight. And I admit, the fever scenario was probably not 100% realistic (though I've said some derped out and brutally honest things while tired and/or feverish before). The gems, though, are slightly reasonable if you recall evidence from the show itself. Specifically, Rarity and Spike easily digging up gems, and the fact that exposed boulders can hold gemstones in the show. So by real-world standards, no, the fever and the gemstones were highly improbably. By MLP standards, though, it was all within the realm of probability.

Also, I see your Geology Student, and raise you a Literature Graduate. :trollestia:

Suspension of disbelief or willing suspension of disbelief is a term coined in 1817 by the poet and aesthetic philosopher Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who suggested that if a writer could infuse a "human interest and a semblance of truth" into a fantastic tale, the reader would suspend judgment concerning the implausibility of the narrative. Suspension of disbelief often applies to fictional works of the action, comedy, fantasy, and horror genres. Cognitive estrangement in fiction involves using a person's ignorance or lack of knowledge to promote suspension of disbelief.

In other words, yes, some aspects of this fic aren't realistic, as previously mentioned. But as long as you don't over-think it, you can sit back, suspend your disbelief, and enjoy the story for what it is - just a fun little story. :pinkiesmile:

Anyhoo, thanks for the constructive criticism, and the good review!

1705988
Yeah like i said i knew i should not have pointed it out and MLP geology is a far shot from ours i know, I just got into it a bit much. Sorry

It's just some natural laws do seem to be in effect in the story and i was being too focused on my particular field of study when it presented itself in your story. I guess i just got to into the situation presented and some logic pieces got in the way and forced me off my reading thoughts into analyzation of the setting in factual terms instead of focusing on the story itself.

Yes it is a fun little story but when they get good i get a bit serious, after all how else can one differentiate the good material once they have more than a little of it?
I was simply over analyzing the story trying to fit it in my personal ranking system so that when my friends ask for something good MLP related to read i can forward the ones that stand out. Thanks for being a good sport about my misstep in critique. :twilightblush:

“Ah just need to… Oh hey, y’know the floor is kinda comfy, actually.”

Number one sign AJ was secretly drunk! :rainbowlaugh:
But the d'awwws. They murdered me. :rainbowkiss: Have a mustache, an upvote and a fave. :moustache:

Applejack was sprawled out on the floor, the sheets and blankets haphazardly wrapped around and strewn about her. Apparently she’d half-rolled, half-crawled out of bed, and once again had found the floor quite comfy. “Hi Rare,” the earth pony grumbled, her eyes half-lidded. “Ya seen my clothes?”

Rarity let out a small, exasperated sigh. “Applejack, you don’t wear clothes…”

In response, Applejack flashed a lopsided grin. “Ah know, ain’t it just glorious?”

I laughed harder than I should of

This was excellent! Rarijack is my favorite ship I think, & you have definitely made me feel more so about them as a pair. Wonderful job with your portrayal of their characters. :ajsmug::raritywink:

Impressive. Good job.

Great little read. Sick AJ so cute :rainbowkiss: and there were a lot of really fantastic lines in this. Thoroughly enjoyable story, keep up the good work.

And as the old adage goes, opposites attract.

Narration disguised as intrapersonal conversation. Kinda threw me off a bit.

That and the whole "fever makes me loony" thing felt off...but otherwise alright.

"and remember what her name was." Oh god xD

Funny fic, exactly what I needed after tearing through the dark monstrosity of a fic I just finished. Have an upvote.

Could you write another Applejack catching a cold with some more Rarity care-taking? :raritywink:

Was the title inspired by the paramore song when it rains?

But then her mind drifted off on to more important things, like whether goldfish could dream…

I think I laughed harder than I should have here. :rainbowlaugh:
~ADG

Well now, this here was a pleasant read with a lot of tender care. Rarity does strike you as the motherly sort at times. Or at least, with me she does. Especially after Forever Filly.

Kudos to you, kudos.

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