• Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

David Silver


You can get your own story written or push a current story for more updates at his Patreon!

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They fell from the sky, only to have their landing broken by flowers carefully tended to by a crystal pony. The pony was scared away. They were scared stiff, but there was no running. The pony world they found themselves in was very real. Their choices would count against them...

I will try to keep it interesting and amusing. Think I did a good or bad job? Let me know! I love comments, loving or scathing, just speak.

Chapters (34)
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Comments ( 682 )

Found a typo? That's worth 1 GP! We can kill it for 1 EXP! We'll raise our LOVE rating in no time!

Heck no, Pacifist Run for the win.

Will you not submit this story to the Displaced group? I'd be more than happy to review it.

Alright, you have my interest here.

Now THIS, has potential! Looking forward to the next chapter.

Frisk? This is a reference I know nothing of. Intrestested and confused at the same time. Seriously, I don't want to google "frisk child character", so could you tell me the reference. My ignorance is great and powerful.

6610364 I had to look it up. If you lookup "frisk" the first link under the definition is the Undertale Wiki. So, it's Undertale. Don't click the link though... spoilers.

Edit: Ah hell, it's in the title.

6610169 Would you say that you had a bone to pick with it?

6610364
Undertale, I presume. I mean, that's what the title suggests. And Undertale is All The Rage nowadays.

Edit: Oops, you already got the answer from someone else.

Why am I not surprised to see you trying out a Displaced tale, Mister Silver?

6610454 First I've heard of it. Just looked it up. It's one of those games made to look like games back when I wasn't an old bastard. I'm an old bastard. I know nothing of what is "trending". :scootangel:

6610467 it's Good. The less you know of it before playing the better... Just remember to approach it with an open mind and the reminder that there are always consequences to your actions

6610454 It was requested of me about... 8 months ago?

6610527
I suggest you read the pinned thread about getting approved - you have to ask two approvers to review it, which are basically all the Admins and Contributiors.

Don't send it to me - I'm too biased about Undertale (Game of the Decade for me) and I will accept it nonetheless.

Personal tip: don't send it to TGM or Jsyrin or Trombone.

zel

finalyl someone writes undertale story

...and of course it is that lohav shit again

6610561 Has the protagonist struck you as a No Mercy runner?

6610561
>implying the lohav is not dead

shiggy diggy

6610561 I think they're all reclassified as Displaced now, since so many of the LOHAV stories had characters who actually acted heroic, rather than villainous. And I agree that this fic could have worked just as well with Frisk falling into Equestria, rather than the underground world of the monsters, instead of a cosplayer. Still it's not fair to lump this story as a bad one yet, I'm gonna wait for the next few chapters, before deciding whether to follow or un-fave this fic. But so far, the story seems to be working out okay. I wonder who the stand-ins will be for Sans, Papyrus, Undyne etc. =3

6610594 Sure, I could have replaced the no-description character with... the no-description character. The protagonist of Undertale has no information, other than a name, and they like falling down holes. Are they a boy or a girl? Maybe. Do they have parents? Maybe. Do they live closeby or were on a trip of some kind? Maybe. Do they prefer pizza, hamburger, or broccoli? Maybe.

They are a blank slate for the player to influence the world through. Nothing was lost in replacing them. You could argue nothing was gained in tossing in the cosplayer, but that just leaves us where we started.

Me? I don't like many stories. Says the person with 307 in her library. But the stories I do like are like this. Have a fav!

6610716 Thanks for the thumbs up! Any favorite part so far?

I like it so far. I hope it doesn't die.

EWW! DISPLACED FIC! WHY! roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/noooo.png

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
11:34_7/11/2015

6610726
I really like how you solved the problem of conflict. That was clever. I think the change though between a cosplayer and actually being Frisk could be made more clear. I had to re-read that several times before I got it. But other than that I like it!

6610751 Dude or Ma'am. Give it a chance. It's not like most displaced stories from the start since they are displaced as an almost defenseless child. Besides, this is the first chapter.

In fact, I wish more displaced stories started off with the characters being weak instead of "OMG unstoppable powerful". I mean, I prefer displaced stories that are more realistic. yes, say that when most displaced are sent to a world of colorful ponies.

You should get exp points for being a dick, like not lower the seat on the toilet, or touching things when people tell you not to.

You woke up and ate breakfast. There was no more cocoa puffs, just the simple bran cereal. You are filled with determination.

You stub your toe on the door. You're filled with determination.

6610779 Displaced fics are a good sign of what not to do when writing a fanfic... I admit that there are a few decent ones that don't have 11 billion displaced-fic crossovers or shitty writing, but for the most part, displaced is synonymous with terrible. I wouldn't even want to associate with the 'genre'.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
12:20_7/11/2015

6610561 well, that's rude. Anyway, if you want an undertale story which isn't Displaced, search he word undertale in the search bar. There's a good one with asriel appearing in equestria.

6610850 If you haven't noticed, the group is actually starting to pull itself together and actually has a system in place to review the stories before they are accepted.

But you know what. I won't bother fighting with you over this since you've already made your decision to associate Displaced with bad writing. So go ahead and throw hate around. Because that's what My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is all about.

Swiggity Swooty, the Displaced are comin for your booty.

6610909 I never said all displaced fics were bad, just that they have a bad reputation that makes most people afraid to associate with them.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
12:59_7/11/2015

And D. Silver, thank you for writing this. Now I can have more undertale in my life

6611010 You're quite welcome! I'm writing the second chapter right now. A pleasure bringing horse words to everyone!

The Check magic is both incredibly powerful and dangerous. Even if it doesn't give much more than what we were shown. Actually, the entire Interaction Conflict magic has the potential of being a force to be reckoned with if applied properly.

The story seems good so far. And where it might go is up in the air, but so far it's nice.

Great! Now you have the power to rese-
......
......
Oh no......
Chara....please...do-

I am strangely amused by the concept of Trixie taking in a lost child.

6611050
6611095 Fortunately, Frisk is not being controlled by a jerk of a player, so hopefully we're engaging on a pacifist run.

That doesn't mean an uneventful one, mind.

I haven't played Undertale myself, and only seen a little of it on Youtube, but I am absolutely loving this right now.

He was brown-orange fur,

Should probably be "He had brown-orange fur," or "His fur was a brown-orange color, and he had".

I like it so far.

6611145 Oops! Typos made friends with!

6611137 Glad you're enjoying it! Watching the ratings up top wobble with folks seeing that 'Displaced' title and making snap calls.

Yup, you're doing it right~ :yay:
Haven't played the game but from the few videos I've seen this gonna be good ^_^

6611157 gotta get them good ratings ;)

6611178 Thankee! Any fave parts of the chapter?

6611231 I can't make those, only write horse words and hope people like them enough to uprate.

6611248

Most of Mettatons ratings are probably our fault. So we might as well increase your ratings too.



Also, I walked up to a friend and asked if they wanted to see a rare flower. Then showed them omega flowey

6611261 Hmm, that gives me an idea. I should have the protagonist enjoy a nice, refreshing, Coke! The endorsements will increase our ratings!

6611263

Indeed. And I shall get a bouquet of yellow demon flowers who are really goat kids

6611263

Also Temmies. The ratings you shall receive from the Temmies fill you with deTemmienation

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