• Member Since 9th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 5th, 2019

MythrilMoth


LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

T

Mysterious deaths and unexplained incidents plague Pony City.

A standoffish transfer student has a secret: she is a magical girl sent to fight evil.

She intends to complete her mission alone, but five others share her destiny...

Welcome to Pony City, where friendship is magical girls.

This story is on hiatus until after the completion of Persona EG. Sorry.

Now with its own TV Tropes page!

It is strongly recommended that you set your chapter formatting to Dark or Ultra Dark when reading this story.

A guide to the chapter titles can be found here.

(This story may contain some vocabulary unfamiliar to many readers. It is strongly recommended you open this document in another tab for reference.)

Chapters (31)
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Comments ( 927 )

You get inspiration from the My Little pony anime pictures and videos?

Oooh...I've never watched the anime, but this fan fic already caught my attention. Bravo my friend.

Why do I feel like I've seen this before, somewhere? :derpytongue2:

4476980 No, from YEARS of magical girl anime, and the desire to do something a bit different than Mauroz's magical girl comic strip La Magia de la Amistad.:duck:

4477016 You may be thinking of La Magia de la Amistad, the webcomic by Mauroz which was adapted by Novus Draconis as a fanfic. Or you may be thinking of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. This is neither of those things.

Everything is better in Japanese. :heart:

~リザードマンが語られた

4477053

:fluttercry:

Wow, I didn't think you were gonna take it that roughly. It's a shame, too. I was excited to see how you'd interpret this your way, especially since you did some things nearly shot-for-shot with my own fix, inasmuch as Cheerilee being a smart teacher and the girls...well, one of them...being Mahou Shoujo.

4477076 I actually didn't even notice it was your story. I took one look at the description and thought "oh right haha because Japanese, right?" My bad.

But still...I don't really think there are any actual similarities (beyond superficial 'oh look there's a magical girl'), and I had never heard of your story until just now.

And now if I want to make a magical girl sequel to LRtF, I have to make it distinctly different from yours and Mauroz's web comic. Thanks a lot, Mythril. :twilightangry2:

In all seriousness, this looks interesting. Not sure how I feel about the sex tag, but I'll give it a chance since I'm already hooked.

Poor Thunderlane, one of my fav ponies killed off in the first chapter.........Oh well! People die when they are killed and all that, pretty good first chapter, nice little bit of action in there. I can't wait to see more!:pinkiesmile:

4477111 The sex tag is necessary for some good old fashioned PG-13 mischief (such as skirt-flipping), some of which will turn up in the next chapter. Oh, and also for what the Changeling was probably going to do to Rainbow Dash. And naked Flitter.

4477104

No, you're right. My story has Mecha, Cyberpunk - think Bubblegum Crisis - and Horror elements.

Your story is a straight-up Mahou Shoujo offering. Totally different.

FWIW, your story is a very good one and amusing. :scootangel:

4477132 Thanks. :twilightsmile:

I'm having a look at yours right now. I'll try not to be too harsh, but the "Ponykyo" thing in the description made me cringe. Seriously.

4477141

You call that harsh? Pffffft. Even I admitted that the name is silly.

That entire fic is just me having fun with the concept, whereas, it seems you're being totally serious and unironic here.

Chop that fic apart line-by-line. Really tear it apart.

I'm a big boy, I can handle it. :yay:

That's a bold move; not picking one of hundreds of humanized Mane Six drawings for your cover. No picture of the outfit or anything. Good job.

4477034 Gardian Angel has a Madoka Magica story too. It's called Sparkle Magica

4477111 A magical girl sequel to LRtF?:rainbowhuh: That'd be interesting to read. I can just imagine SS getting the costume the first time and being super pissed about it!:rainbowlaugh:

:pinkiegasp: that was good. Please make more!

4477506 I'm aware of it. But I won't read ANY crossover with Madoka Magica. For the simple reason that I absolutely DESPISE Madoka Magica.

4477285 I wanted to create my own vision of the characters, and I am not an artist. Of course, in the unlikely event I get fanart... :twilightsmile:

So changelings are killers, eh? Lucky Rainbow Dash. Thanks to Twilight, she escaped death by a...

So, remember little girls, if your boyfriend tries to rape you suddenly, it's ALWAYS some crazy monster and he is just cheating on you. :trollestia:

Also, good story-beginning. Need to see more though to accurately judge.

Hmm. Seems pretty par for the course thus far, though the actual deaths are certainly a striking deviation from the norm. I look forward to seeing where you take this, especially if/when that memory spell wears off. Dash ain't gonna be happy come that time.

Anime and ponies are something rare to me. Seeing them crossover perfectly... well, challenge, even for me. But reading this chapter (while the plot runs in my head as an anime TV show, since I rock like that), it works as a perfect mix, even with the glossary (which was helpful, btw:pinkiehappy:). Great job!

4477615

If you wait patiently for a little, I'll draw something for you.

I just need to finish learning how to apply mathematical equations to drawings.

See, that's why so much DeviantArt stuff is out of whack, or odd looking. Contour and freehand can only get you so far; if you want to get real, a t-square, a ruler, a protractor, and a compass will become relevant and necessary.

Mathematics ain't my strong point, but I'm chugging along.

This is reminiscent of Bishoujo Senshi Sera Myu, a personal favorite of mine (not the idiotic DIC dub of yesteryear). I'm looking forward to what you're going to do with this, though I'm curious if Twilight (if the purple fonts are any indicator of identity) has a magical companion adviser like Luna or Happy. I wonder if Spike is that adviser and whether or not you'll keep him as a dragon or change him to something that would fit in better.

I would write more but I've just gotten off of a hellish shift and am a little burnt out. I'll have to reread this when my mind is a little clearer.

Awaiting further updates.

4477024 I've read his comics (in English) and they're pretty awesome! Good luck trying to beat him.

Putting this on my RL list. Will check it out once I'm done with Antipodes and Dangerous Business :raritywink:

This is a bit rushed, but I like it! I have a feeling that whatever those girls were talking about had something to do with Thunderlane.

4478476 Myu as in the musicals? Because only the musicals are called Myu.

4478548 Okay, two things:

1. This isn't a competition. I'm not trying to "beat" anybody. I'm just trying to tell a story. I was originally going to write an adaptation of the comics, but I decided I'd rather write an original story instead.

2. You know, it really pisses me off when people take a look at the first chapter of a long story, fresh out of the gate, see it's less than 3k words, and decide it's "rushed". Would you perhaps have had me go into excruciating detail about Twilight's arrival in the city, spoiling her appearance as magical girl? Perhaps a long, unnecessarily boring Stephen King-esque spiel of backstory for Thunderlane, who died before the title card?

The first chapter did exactly what it was there to do. In no way, shape, or form was it "rushed". I'm sorry if it didn't include some arbitrary amount of extraneous information you might have wanted, but here's the thing: the first chapter, or even prologue, of a story doesn't have to do anything but set the tone of the story.

So, "rushed", in this instance, I take objection to and offense at.

Starting off strong, I see. Definitely going to be watching this one.

4478865
I was thinking of the Live Action series they did. I believe it also went by "Myu", but it's been many years since I've seen an episode.

4479512 No, only the musicals are called "Myu". The live-action series is called Pretty Guardian Sailormoon.

友達 means friends, not friendship. 友情 means friendship

4478865 Sorry. I kinda like this so don't get made. And I feel sorry for Rainbow. She's not going to take it well about what happened to her boyfriend.

4480037 Intentional choice. Sometimes "right" isn't. :twilightsmile:

4480084 Leaving thoughtless comments really isn't a way to show your support for a story. Just be careful next time.

The concept so far looks neat. Some of the Japanese terms feel unecessary, though. You could easily do without them.

4480247 I could, but I don't want to. :twilightsmile:

:pinkiehappy:At least we don't have to wait for season 5:twilightblush:

Fav'd and Liked
Twilight reminds me of Homura Akemi, is that intentional?

4482368 No, although I can see why people keep making that parallel.

Interesting. I didn't see any obvious errors; the descriptions are easy to picture; the action doesn't feel rushed; *inhales* Yep, this is a good story. I'm gonna keep an eye on this.

Also, You probably already have an idea for him, but I picture Spike as the cute, funny, little sidekick (Keroberos, IR), with a mild perverted side (Fool, Nin-Nin) :trollestia:

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