• Member Since 14th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday


Not a changeling.


An ongoing collection of stories and poems too short for standalone FIMFic publication. NOT a scraps file — there are some contest winners in here! Contents, newest first:

Retirees [Drama] – Celestia and Luna have a plan for their post-princess days. Fifth place, "Through A Mirror Brightly" Writeoff! (3/2019)
The Shipper Is: IN [Random] [Romance] – Discord takes advantage of Cadance's metaromantic powers.
The Illusion Of Choice, Or Vice Versa [Drama] – A prodigious filly struggles with the burden of high expectations. Finalist, "Illusion of Choice" Writeoff! (10/2015)
Moon Bright [Slice of Life] – Two isolated farmers try to figure out how to react to Princess Luna's return. Third place, "The Morning After" Writeoff! (12/2016)
We Only Live Twice [Slice of Life] – When Bon Bon walked into her own funeral, that didn't shock us nearly so much as Lyra walking in alongside her. Tenth place, "It's Your Funeral" Writeoff (3/2016)
Charlotte's Goop [AU] [Crossover] [Comedy] – A changeling queen is leaving messages on Applejack's barn about her farm animals.
F=MC^2 [Alternate Universe] – The great and terrible road to the Manehattan Project.
Through The Fire And Flames [Random] [Comedy] [Equestria Girls] – Blue Oyster has a fever, and the only cure is a brainless minific.
The Slow Fall of an Unfamiliar Star [Sad] [Romance] [Human] – Sunset watches a sunset, alone with her memories. Eighth place, "Just Over The Horizon" writeoff (10/2014)
Eponalepsis [Slice of Life] [Far Future] – The immortals gather at Celestia's end, and debate forgiveness. 22nd place, "Famous Last Words" writeoff. "Highly Recommended" by Present Perfect! (8/2014)
Why I Left [Human] – A chance encounter at a failed pony convention. Eighth place, "Long Way Home" writeoff (6/2014)
Torn, Discarded Pages From An Old Notebook [Romance] [Adventure] – A young Twilight Sparkle writes about the adventures of a pony who is completely made up and imaginary. First place winner in the Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder badfic contest! "Highly Recommended" by Present Perfect! (6/2014)
You, Ms. Harshwhinny, And A Pair Of Cougars Go On A Double Date [Random] – what
Night Mare's Party [Filk] – Luna's transformation vs. Oingo Boingo.
Alicornication [Filk] – Twilight Sparkle's ascension vs. the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
On Alicorn Fiction [Slice of Life] – Twilight has found plenty of nonfiction for her collection of Celestia's writings, but she's having a hard time finding any novels.
Deleted Scenes [Comedy] – Celestia introduces Luna to movies.
War Averted [Alternate Universe] – Cadence solves a problem.
From The Stars [Adventure] [Poem] – When a star falls upon ancient Equestria, a filly journeys to save what remains of her tribe.
Breaking The News [Comedy] – Ponyville prepares for disaster. (Published in the Everfree NW 2013 conbook!)

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 242 )

Ooh, I always love these short story collections. Can't wait to check it out!

Twilight stared at the screen, open-mouthed.

Are we talking like :pinkiegasp:, or more :rainbowwild:?

It's a bit rough near the start -- some of the lines don't really seem to gel together in my ear ("The white flame of its falling lit the night, / Glowing was the tent-wall like a lamp," in particular makes me want to demand a period from you) -- but once it settles down, this is a really nice piece. I think I picked up a nod to HG Wells in there -- We camped upon the crater's-edge three nights, / Unable to proceed into the heat -- and the lines worked well in letting me build up a vision of the place. I enjoyed reading it.

Btw, how mad am I for interpreting this as an unascended Luna coming across a superman-esque delivered Celestia? & 4 srs? Three shorts about pony princesses? Dude, you are obsessed.


Our tribe of fliers bold and shamans wise
Was blasted

The noun phrase modifies "tribe" to the extent that treating it as a collective noun is incorrect (I think). Were, pls.

I'm thinking it was more :raritydespair: .

well it certainly couldn't have been :flutterrage:...
maybe :fluttershbad:?

Epitaph for a dead world:


I'd say you succeeded. *Grins*

How did you find the time to do this?! :pinkiecrazy:


From The Stars was written within two hours at the con. The others were all done months ago (the conbook story I couldn't publish until after EFNW, the others I was hanging onto until I had a short story collection in which to put them). There are some more on the way once I get back to my home computer.

Mayor Millicent M. Mare

"Wow," I thought, "a reference to that old thing. I thought I was the only one old enough to remember." And then I looked in my bookshelf, and noticed it ran from 1997 to 2008. So apparently I'm old enough that my default reaction to any Internet history is to assume that it should make me feel old. You magnificent bastard, you make me feel meta-old!

> meta-old
Well, let's see if I can't make you feel double-bucky old, then. :twilightsmile:

Re the DC Simpson reference, though: she was actually the staff artist for the Everfree NW conbook! If you can get your hands on a copy (or even go to the Everfree NW website and take a look at the advertising posters), you'll definitely recognize the style!

Critique appreciated. Yeah, I wrote the final line as my fellow judges were calling time and giving out instructions for submission; I didn't have the luxury of editing even a little bit, and I wanted to post it as an artifact of that two-hour process rather than continue to polish it beyond the deadline. Three hours, and I could have made the ending not quite so abrupt and really tightened up the rhythm and voice of the rest of the lines. You're right, the odd diction of the start of the piece (which was an attempt to give it a unique narrative voice, which was far too ambitious for a two-hour job) doesn't do it many favors.

To answer your questions, in order: Not mad even slightly; yes; I think you mean four shorts since Twahlicorn is a proncess now; and that's not a question but yes. Yes I am. Princess pones are best pones, by definition, because they are princesses. The other pones acknowledge their superiority and/or unfairly ignore their awesome nights.

> The noun phrase modifies "tribe" to the extent that treating it as a collective noun is incorrect (I think).

Ah yes, the special "the rules apply except when they don't" argument. I think in your honor we'll have to call that one the Celestial Exemption.

That having been said, according to the experts there is a gray area and so your reasoning is not outright wrong. I am still referring to the tribe as a collective, though — everything and everyone was blasted, rather than individuals who were blasted — so I don't feel the modifier phrase changes that.

Moon Moon
no Moon Moon
what are you doing


I didn't find the ending that abrupt, to be honest; then again, I can't be trusted when it comes to making sure the audience understands what's going on.

Given your appreciation of ponies with horns & wings, then, I expect the next short to feature either Princess Skyla or Erroria. Given FiM's trajectory of one new princess per season (Luna 4 s1, Cadence 4 s2, Twilight 4 s3 -- Celestia as the only unadded princess is naturally the best), one of them's bound to become canon.

From link: "When a collective noun is followed by 'of' plus a plural noun or pronoun, the choice between a singular and a plural verb remains open," says Fowler's Modern English Usage.

Fair enough. I confess to being skewed on the matter anyway given my British English indoctrination.

> I expect the next short to feature either Princess Skyla or Erroria.
I think that can be arranged. FIMFiction does have a Horror tag, right? If I'm going to include sanity-destroying Chthonian monstrosities I've gotta get that correct.

Er... you were supposed to hold off on post-con publication of Breaking the News until the 15th, though I won't be too harsh about that. However, I'd like to direct everypony to the fact that the PDF of the Everfree NW 2013 conbook is now available on the website. Huzzah!

My mistake - I think the embargo date was only mentioned once, once upon a time in the submission guidelines, and I simply forgot. I appreciate your tolerance and I'll be more careful next year.

Great that the PDF is available, though!

A few bonus lines cut from this chapter:

"… The Canterberry Tales?" Twilight said hesitantly. "Was that you?"

"Oh, heavens, no."

Twilight let out a breath. "Well, at least —"

"That was Luna."

It's funny; "Canterbury" is a perfectly acceptable pony place name unaltered, so you were forced to alter it anyway.

All deference to Twilight Sparkle Micro Series #1 aside, I don't believe for a second that a ponified version of The Catcher in the Rye is Twilight's favorite book of all time. I would much sooner believe that The Canterbury Tales is.

A lovely short, as usual.

With all due respect to the Micro Series' canon status … you've got to be kidding me. Element of Friendship Twilight Sparkle's favorite book being the manifesto of misunderstood and alienated teenagers?

… okay, on further consideration, that actually makes sense, but clearly she read it way back before being sent to Ponyville.

Present-day Twilight I see as more of a genre fiction reader, enjoying the Equestrian equivalent of transhumanist sci-fi. Though she might enjoy romance novels as a guilty pleasure, a fantasy escape into a world in which she has little direct experience and diminished (though improving) prospects. I'll agree with you on Canterberry (yeah, it didn't feel right to use a pre-existing pun as written) given her repeatedly demonstrated interest in Equestrian history.


There is nothing unjust in taking pride in 145 uninterrupted thoughts.

The Catcher in the Rye was a truly awful book, wasn't it?
I only vaguely remember Canterbury Tales boring the tar out of me, so I assume it was pretty bad too.
I hate books we study only because they're "classics."

Also, I like the phrase, "her brain slammef shut."
Mostly because I know exactly what that feels like.

I'm not Skywriter, but I didn't think Catcher was bad, it just seemed completely out of character for Twilight. Canterbury Tales, on the other hand, I suspect is wasted on high schoolers. Reading it in its original Middle English means it's nigh incomprehensible without exhaustive annotations, and reading it in translation ruins a lot of the point of studying the classics. I think it's better saved for college, and a chance to dig further into the story. I know I got a whole lot more out of The Odyssey (college, with lots of discussions about ancient Greek culture from scholars who knew their stuff) than I ever did out of Canterbury (high school, with an English teacher who made us memorize and recite a few lines from the opening as we hurried through it on the way to something else). Whan that Aprille, with its shoures sote, the droghte of March hath percèd to the rote … :twistnerd:

One of the more original alicorn origin stories I've seen, here. Ever thought of adapting this story to straight-up prose?

Well, lots of people have talked about the psychological effects of immortality, but I've never seen someone tackle this angle before. Thumbs up.


If I did prosify it, it would probably turn out a lot like The War And What Came After (with fewer deerfolk and more ponies). Actually, I did try my hand at a prose mythological origin story a while back — meant it as a little digression to Haylander, and it turned into its own thing, and I never quite figured out what I wanted to do with it. I may have to clean it up and post it here someday.

Nice song parody, I should add. I am however trying to think of an alternative for that "secede", as it seems to violate some of that word's shades of meaning.

Augh, you know, my brain was probably thinking "resign" and some wires got crossed. I'll gnaw on it later tonight when I'm back at a computer.

Wow, I loved this. It fit so well.


> concede

It took me almost as long to fix that single word as it did to write the lyrics. :facehoof:

Yeah, I know how it goes. :derpytongue2:

Before reading this, I gave myself even odds on whether the cougars were large cats, middle-aged women, or one of each. Just wanted to say that.

Also, while the derpy one will forever hold my heart, and Pinkie P'nyvil wgah'nagl fhtagn, I am willing to acknowledge Ms. Harshwhinny as best non-eldritch earth pony.

Also, that forum thread. What den of madness did I stumble upon? :twilightoops:

> Also, that forum thread. What den of madness did I stumble upon?

A counterexample to your claim that Harshwhinny is best non-eldritch earth pony. :ajsmug:

See, what's you've just discovered is that Harshwhinny is actually Khorne (the Rend(er)er of Judgments) to Pinkie's Slaanesh (the P̢͑ą͒r̳̐t̰̽y͈͑ ̧̃Ē̦t̐ͅe̮̍r͍͠n̠͝ḁ͝l̠̈́) and Derpy's Nurgle (with her physical deformities and plagues of d'aaaws).

The last great seal whose lifting will render nigh the Aponicalypse is the naming of the Changer-of-Ways. The obvious answer is Celestia, but 1) she's not an earth pony and 2) she's WAAAAY too obvious a figurehead. Unless that's what she wants us to think, which, granted, is entirely plausible. However, see 1).

(My money is on Applejack. What better role to manipulate absolutely everything in the show from than as Best Background Pony?)

Well, given that Derpy isn't an earth pony either, Celestia is a possibility. However, I think it's clear that Twilight is actually the pony avatar of Tzeentch. The checklists, the magic, and the mutations (suddenly, wings!) all point to her. Though no plan survives contact with the enemy. :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:


What den of madness did I stumble upon?

The only one to receive a passing grade from the IEGC, of course.


Copyrighted lyrics are not allowed on the site, but song parodies are a gray area. According to the official site post on the matter:

You may be golden if you've made sufficiently heavy changes to the lyrics you're using. Be warned, however, that this is a sketchy and debatable matter, and more or less has to be decided on a per-case basis, so we do have to reserve the right to say that "This isn't enough." A good place to start is that if you're just changing certain words to corresponding pony vocab like mare/hoof, it's probably not enough.

I posted this in good faith that it is "sufficiently heav[ily]" transformed to not stir up trouble. I'm not copying the original lyrics — I basically rewrote them from scratch. There's only tiny scattered shreds of the original words in my [Lyrics] posts.

That having been said, I will comply with any requests or orders from the moderators on this issue.

This is why no-one will bother inventing time travel.

Did you use the bitcoin symbol in there? If not, where'd you find that character?

It was meant more as commentary on the intersection of sensationalistic news reporting, natural disasters, and Equestrian weather management, but given my most recent story I can see the resemblance. :twilightsmile:

The ฿ (you can copy and paste currency symbols from here) is the symbol for the Thai baht, though apparently it's for bitcoins too! Today I learned…

3834657 I didn't know that, I only recalled seeing it as a bitcoin symbol somewhere once. Fascinating!

Comment posted by Lurks-no-More deleted Mar 3rd, 2014

Oooh, Oingo-tastic!

Hmm. What's next, "I Hate Little Fillies", telling the frustrated story of somepone having to deal with the CMCs?

"Catcher in the Rye" is one of those books which are very well-crafted and genuinely important and meaningful in their context. To an alienated teenager in 1951, reading it must have been a life-changing experience.

But now it's 2014, and the past is a different country. I remember, back when I was in high school in late '90s, that I wanted to give Holden Caulfield a swift kick in the behind because his world and mine were so different that to fully relate to him required more maturity and perspective and experience than a teenager, alienated or not, of the modern day would have.

Ooh, such a nice treat. I'd love to hear this turned into a full song. :twilightsmile:

Don't tempt me! I already have enough on my plate …

(Besides which, "Reptiles and Samurai" is begging for a Spike song first.)

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