• Published 9th Jul 2013
  • 1,976 Views, 242 Comments

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Stories and poems too short for individual publication (including some award-winning minifics).

  • ...

Charlotte's Goop

Author's Note:

Look, just because I write changeling-themed adaptations of classic children's literature doesn't imply anything. There's plenty of authors who have to entertain their hives in their off hours.

Based (very loosely) on a prompt by Fuzzyfurvert.

"Charlotte," Applejack trotted in and said, "we need ta talk."

The changeling queen — sprawled lazily on her throne — twirled a holey appendage through her mane and smiled at the ceiling. "Yes?"

Applejack wasn't smiling. "About the message ya left."

"Oh, good," Charlotte purred, then glanced up at AJ's expression and tilted her head. "… Is there a problem? It was a straightforward request."

One of Applejack's eyebrow arched up. "Request? Bessie volunteered to visit yer hive fer our weekly emotion tribute, and ya left her hanging in one of them goop pods on the side of my barn!"

"Yes," Charlotte said, examining her hooftip, "that I did."

"She's been curled up sobbin' in her stall for the past 24 hours, eatin' tub after tub of ice cream!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I returned her uninjured, and we fed responsibly. As her emotional display clearly demonstrates. If she wants to put on a drama-queen act over being a suboptimal tribute, that's hardly my problem."

"Suboptimal?! The goop-splatter letters ya painted called her 'SOME PIG'!" Applejack threw her hooves wide. "Now every doggone animal in the barnyard's teasin' her about her weight!"

"I wait wha WHAT?" Charlotte bolted upright, her full attention on Applejack. "I most certainly did not!"

Applejack nearly flung a photo at the queen. "Don't you lie! I got evidence!"

Charlotte snatched it out of the air in her horngrip, scrutinizing the picture and frowning. "Why are the shutters on the second-story window open?"

"Huh?" Applejack said. "Apple Bloom was airing out the barn this mornin', but don't you change the subject —"

"I'm NOT!" Charlotte yelled, flinging the photo down. "The message was TWO LINES! The line across the shutters said 'I WANT', as in, 'I WANT SOME PIG!' I'm trying to go on a diet, and porcine love isn't nearly as rich as bovine!"

"Oh," Applejack said, and then, grimacing, "oh."

"Oh what?"

"Oh," Applejack said, "as in, 'maybe I'd better go explain that to the cattle mob outside.'"

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