"Charlotte," Applejack trotted in and said, "we need ta talk."
The changeling queen — sprawled lazily on her throne — twirled a holey appendage through her mane and smiled at the ceiling. "Yes?"
Applejack wasn't smiling. "About the message ya left."
"Oh, good," Charlotte purred, then glanced up at AJ's expression and tilted her head. "… Is there a problem? It was a straightforward request."
One of Applejack's eyebrow arched up. "Request? Bessie volunteered to visit yer hive fer our weekly emotion tribute, and ya left her hanging in one of them goop pods on the side of my barn!"
"Yes," Charlotte said, examining her hooftip, "that I did."
"She's been curled up sobbin' in her stall for the past 24 hours, eatin' tub after tub of ice cream!"
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I returned her uninjured, and we fed responsibly. As her emotional display clearly demonstrates. If she wants to put on a drama-queen act over being a suboptimal tribute, that's hardly my problem."
"Suboptimal?! The goop-splatter letters ya painted called her 'SOME PIG'!" Applejack threw her hooves wide. "Now every doggone animal in the barnyard's teasin' her about her weight!"
"I wait wha WHAT?" Charlotte bolted upright, her full attention on Applejack. "I most certainly did not!"
Applejack nearly flung a photo at the queen. "Don't you lie! I got evidence!"
Charlotte snatched it out of the air in her horngrip, scrutinizing the picture and frowning. "Why are the shutters on the second-story window open?"
"Huh?" Applejack said. "Apple Bloom was airing out the barn this mornin', but don't you change the subject —"
"I'm NOT!" Charlotte yelled, flinging the photo down. "The message was TWO LINES! The line across the shutters said 'I WANT', as in, 'I WANT SOME PIG!' I'm trying to go on a diet, and porcine love isn't nearly as rich as bovine!"
"Oh," Applejack said, and then, grimacing, "oh."
"Oh what?"
"Oh," Applejack said, "as in, 'maybe I'd better go explain that to the cattle mob outside.'"
It is taking a lot to keep myself from overanalyzing the whole "tribute" thing. It's a fun nod to E. B. White, but that concept and the routine way it's treated raise so many questions.
6986841 Point; maybe "rent" would be a better word? They are (presumably) living on the Apples' property, after all.
*snicker*
Now I have the image of Celestia squatting in the Apple barn commanding the spiders to spell out "Radiant."
6986841
Yeah, I have a bad habit of just casually tossing in crazy AU worldbuilding premises like that. The overanalysis is part of the fun!
You've got a point, though, that the implications there do clash in tone with the lighthearted nature of the rest of the piece. I don't want to put in the energy of a full rewrite, but I did make a few light edits to at least contradict the grimdarkiest of the fridge logic. I was aiming much closer to symbiosis than to hive tyranny (with the changelings in a dominant position, but ruling through agreement or at least cooperation).
6987225
The other way around — see above.
6988676
I almost want to write that, just so I could title the piece "Celestia's Web" and give a misleading but accurate description, and troll people into reading a Charlotte's Web fanfic when they were expecting a piece about her chessmistressing.
6993152
>.>
Okay then.