• Member Since 11th Jun, 2013

The Snide Sniper


Ever see a heuristic-based pathfinding algorithm at work? It's surprisingly similar to story-planning.

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Found 141 stories in 69ms

Total Words: 9,361,577
Estimated Reading: 3 weeks

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After an alarming trip through a black hole in his fridge, Nigel M. Chalmers finds himself in a colourful peaceful country populated with a throng of friendly ponies... in the body of one of their nation's worst enemies. Of course it all goes to pot.

Follow him as he attempts to make sense of his new body, makes new friends and maybe even finds love...
Or not, after all this is Nigel we're talking about, all he's probably going to do is insult everyone and drive everyone insane.

Follow the gripping tale of action, comedy and romance.

Will Nigel make it back home in time for the office Christmas party? Will he avoid a painful death at the hooves of multi-coloured Equines? Will he finally be re-united with his beloved cheesecake?

You can only find out by reading this fic, so fasten your seatbelts and prepare to get wrecked.

Edit: Well, someone did a great reading of the first chapter, thanks to KaBar41 for the reading.
The Reading of Chapter One

I wrote this fic as a side project to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor and saviour-or-destroyer to try my hand at a transformation story. To all of you who hate the whole "Turned into a pony and makes friends with everyone" I'm going to shatter your misgivings like 300 kilograms of armoured Biped smashes a window. There will be violence in later chapters but for now it's just pure comedy.

Featured on the 12/5/2014

Coverart done by Avatar of Madness

Chapters (17)
T

This story is a sequel to Oskar Osäker: True Omnivore


[PROTOTYPE 2] My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Crossover

Oskar's secret has been revealed to Twilight in totality, now Twilight faces the moral quandary of betraying her friend or betraying her morals. The events of season 2 are fast approaching as well and the ripples Oskar has caused through his mere presences alone changes more and more. Can a friendship survive when one of the friends is a murderer?

Thanks goes to: NightmareKnight for spending time being my editor, Trondason being an all around great fellow and helping me with ideas

Chapters (16)
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Ally, a 18 year old teen tries to break the wheelchair speed record, but apparently goes through a mysterious portal while doing it, landing in Equestria as the first ever human there. But she finds it a challenge and accepts it. How will she adjust to her new living space? What will she do in Equestria? And will it be worth it? Read and find out.

Chapters (10)
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This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia The Changeling Queen: Stories Behind the Mask


At the Royal Wedding, Chrysalis and the Changelings were revealed to all of Equestria.

But another mask was torn away that day. A mask born for a thousand years. A mask created on one promise. A mask, that has become synonymous, fused, to its bearer.

A mask that when ripped off, causes Twilight, her friends and Luna to question everything they ever knew about the one pony, one very important pony.

At the Royal Wedding, the meaning of the phrase 'Princess Celestia' changes forever.

NOTE: Chrysalis is NOT Celestia!!! That'd be impossible to pull off.

Credits to: Plainoasis for the design of the cover art
Note 2: Original cover art here: https://angelea-phoenix.deviantart.com/art/Contest-entry-Changeling-Celestia-337023552

Pre-read/edited by Zervziel,
Blankscape,
FinalFan,
Courage Fire
Aurora Borealis

Side Stories to this can be found: here.

An audio-reading on youtube up to Chapter 21 is up by StraightToThePoint Studios. I'm aware there are others but this is the nearest complete one: [embed]https://youtu.be/X3eMW673CSY[/embed]

There are also 2 print versions of Princess Celestia:The Changeling Queen. Nonexistent Publications run and Ministry of Image's run.

Contribute to the TV Tropes Page (thanks to Babs_Seed72 for getting it up)

Chapters (33)
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There once was a time, long before the ponies came together to build their great nation, when spirits and fae creatures roamed the land. A man, little more than a boy, was brought into the land as a sylvan, a soul locked into a tree. He has a tale that the Sisters do not want their subjects to know. Thus they ensnared him, tricked him, and wounded him greatly as to keep the then ancient beast silent. But little did they know that no one can silence great forest he called his home, his kingdom

The Everfree...


Any and all Olde Tymey style dialouge is written by NewKidOnTheBlock He is also my editor. He is the TITS!
Yeah, jumping on this bandwagon with the LoHAV gang. Seems that I can't seem to get away from the wood motif. This was initially inspired by Headless, Not Heartless and various others, but only now do I actually get to it.

Chapters (2)
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This story is a sequel to The Best Nightmare Of My Life


Jeanne Tempest Jones, or Tempest to her friends, leads a rather ordinary life. At least for a teenager. However, one night everything changes. She wakes up in a mysterious land in a strange body, one that is feared and hated by the locals. Meanwhile, her boyfriend, Brian, and his twin sister Brianna find themselves along for the ride halfway across Equestria. Under the tender care of the Thestral (Bat Ponies) community, they will have their own challenges to face.

Now faced with numerous troubles, the largest being that no one seems to trust her, just how exactly will Tempest and her two friends reunite and find their way home?


Marked as a sequel to The Best Nightmare of my Life, as the concept being further explored is the one that sparked the Halloween One-shot. This is less comedy-oriented and more serious as to the topic of "Human looking like a villain" though.

(Title is once more a twist on the song "The Best Day of my Life")

Chapters (5)
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Blacklight had the truth. He knew what he was. He knew Alex was dead, and that he was never human. He knew that Dana was never his sister, and that he was never even slightly related to her. He knew that there was nothing tying him to Dana, no real memories or biological similarities or even species based empathy. For some reason, Blacklight loves Dana like a sister he doesn’t have.

Perhaps this is what keeps him tame when he is brought into a place he does not belong. A scenario where a being of chaos and war brought to a place of harmony and peace is not often a pretty one. Yet with Dana there, somehow he manages not to go berserk and start murdering everything in sight.

Now the Monster of Manhattan contemplates his place in the world, lies to his sister and the ponies, and questions his lack of empathy when he begins to feel remorse for his actions. He is beginning to miss the simple times where the only things he had to deeply contemplate were methods of horrifically mutilating armies with the maximum amount of efficiency. At least that was straightforward.

(This fic operates under the assumption that Prototype 2 and its tie-in comics never existed. If you really have to ask yourself why, play the first game, then play the second game. The reasons should become apparent.)

(Well I'll be damned. Front page on the first day. Thank you all for your support!)

(Well, enough of you seem to think this is funny enough to be a dark comedy, so I added a comedy tag. I have to warn you though, I'm not entirely certain as to how consistent the comedy will be. So don't come into this expecting the wacky misadventures of a murderous psychopath.)

Chapters (9)
E

The Alicorn Amulet - all powerful, and power corrupts absolutely. A great addition to any thief's collection.

Too bad Lock Pick, an earth pony thief, stole a copy of it that lacks wings. Having unicorn powers is amazing and all . . . but is it talking to him? It's sure made a mess of corrupting him - or she, as the amulet insists for him to refer to her as. And she's rather charming, in her own fumbling, naive, yet relentlessly-attempting-to-be-evil way.

Even worse, he's made the enemy of the entire Royal Guard because, while rather mediocre magic the amulet provides, it's still dark magic. And dark magic is kind of extremely-forbidden.

The entry of Imperaxum to the Straight Shipping Group's Romance Amidst Adversity Contest.

I'm making this up as I go.

Chapters (6)
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After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...

Warning:

Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/

Chapters (5)
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While I'm pretty sure that being transformed into a Hero from a Movie can be considered cool in more than one way, I just don't see it.
"This... is so wrong."

Being sent to a land where Myths and Legends come to life is not a fun way to die.
"Nice puppies?"

It's not Hell, and it's not Heaven, and I'm pretty sure that this isn't Nebraska!
"Oh, crap."

I'm not sure what happened.
"Thou vile beast, We demand to know how you appeared here!"
"You and I both, lady."

And apparently I'm not very good with first impressions.
"... She started it!"
"Thou deceiving mongrel, We weren't the one who started the battle!"
"You threw the first punch, I just returned the favor."


And even without interruptions by some assholes...
"You know what is the difference between us?"
"Oh, pray to tell?"
"I'm fireproof, you, not so much."

I feel that my goal to get home will be pretty hard to achieve, all thing consider.
"But that's impossible!"
"You know, I'm pretty sure that by now this word left my dictionary forever."


{Character-tags will be updated with the story.}
{Currently being Edited by The Snide Sniper.}

Chapters (1)