Chapter 9 To Comfort the Moon
There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you're the one that will change theirs. – Sushan R. Sharma
The moment I finished my tale, I closed my eyes and waited. All the while, I wondered how Twilight and the others would react. Would they scoot away from me as if I carried the plague? How would they look at me now that my mistakes and my past were laid bare for them to see. Could they ever look at me the same way again? I bit my lip. I knew not one of them would look at me with the same adoring eyes ever again. Slowly, my eyelids rose to let in the light and I looked upon the chamber.
Everybody was silent. Even my dear Philomena didn’t utter a peep. I glanced towards Twilight. My protégé was staring at her notes, her eyes full of disbelief. It was as if she could not conceive of what she had written.
The first to move was Fluttershy. “Princess Celestia... I mean Alternia... Thank you for telling us about your past. Um, do you need to be alone for a little while?” whispered the pegasus. I shook my head and smiled gently.
“You are most welcome, Fluttershy and I thank you for your offer, but I am fine. I have had a millennium to deal with my loss,” I replied.
“Doesn’t mean it hurts any less,” stammered Fluttershy.
I took a deep breath. I tried to smile and reassure them I was alright. I did not want to look weak. I attempted to force my regal mask over my expression, but at that moment, I couldn’t. There was a dull throb in my heart. It was an ache that had been there for one thousand years, a wound that hurt on the loneliest days, a phantom pain that would never truly go away. Now, the old hurt blazed angrily and wore away my resolve like fire on paper. I tried to suppress it, but I knew I had failed when I felt my throat gripped by a clenching sensation.
I shut my moistening eyes. “No, it doesn’t hurt any less.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Princess...”
I blinked furiously, but tears coursed down my cheeks. Through my bleary eyes, I saw Luna stand up, turn around and trod toward the door, her shoes slamming onto the carpeted floor with every step. Immediately, I wiped my eyes with a hoof and hastened to my feet. In a practiced shimmer of green flames, I donned my disguise. My regalia was engulfed in a golden light and floated to my head, feet and chest.
“Everypony, wait in here. I need to talk to her.” With that I quickly sped out of the door.
I was not completely sure where Luna would go. However, I did know that she liked high, secluded places. It took me a few teleports, but I found Princess Luna on the Observatory Balcony, her back turned towards me. Beyond her was Canterlot castle, its whitewashed walls bathed in the afternoon sun. Below the castle’s spires, in the city proper, were the winding twisted streets of the city. In the distance were rolling green hills and the great Everfree forest. It was a breathtaking view.
Yet, what I noticed first was the crystalline sparkles of Luna’s tears, blown by the cold mountain wind.
“Luna...”
“Dost thou wish to entreat with us?” growled the alicorn.
“Yes, Luna,” I said calmly.
The alicorn seemed to shiver at my answer and when she spoke her voice was bitter. “After all we did to thou?”
“What do you mean, Luna?” I asked, caught off guard. I had expected an onslaught of accusations. I was prepared for threats from a furious princess of the night. I was even ready to comfort her, but I was not prepared for her question.
The alicorn turned around and I blinked in shock. Her cheeks were soaked and still more tears flowed down them like a torrent. Her turquoise eyes were tinged red and bleary, and although Luna furiously blinked them away, tears continued to form. Her mane, that once shimmered with a thousand dreams now draped down on her shoulders like a blanket. I had known Luna would be agonized by what she had done, but not to this extent.
“Thou... would it not for us this would have never come to pass! This debacle is our fault! If not for our foolish actions, our sister would not need to force thou to take up her mantle! If not for our prying into thy memories thou would not need to tell us! How could we be so... ”
“Luna, stop!” I shouted. The alicorn stepped back, her eyes wide. I took this opportunity to step forward and wrap my right hoof around her. She struggled against me, but with great care I held her firm. Slowly, the push of her hooves was lessened and eventually halted altogether and I quietly held the Princess of the Night as she sobbed into my shoulder. I waited as wails that wracked both of our bodies turned to soft sobs.
“Why dost thou not hate us? Thou had every right to despise us! For what our sister did and for what we did.” sniffed Luna.
“I did hate you,” I admitted. I felt Luna flinch and I felt her body stiffen in my hooves. “I saw you as another burden Celestia had handed to me. It did not help that I had to deal with the chaos of your prolonged night and grew to despise the one who caused it. The truth is that in my earlier years, I spent hours planning how to destroy you with all my power. Back then, I never even considered trying to use the Elements to cleanse you. I wanted so badly to get back at your sister that I was willing to use any means necessary.” Luna stepped out of my embrace, her confused eyes examining my weary expression.
“Then why did thou stay thy hoof?” she asked.
I paused. “Because I knew who you were.” Luna’s eyes widened as I continued. “I do not shy away from all of your sister’s memories. While I hated having them in my head, it was through them that I learnt about... well, you.”
“Me?” rasped Luna.
I nodded. “Yes. I learnt about an adorable alicorn foal that loved the stars with all of her heart. I watched the alicorn foal grow up with the sole wish of safeguarding the dreams and granting the wishes of ponies. I listened to the alicorn’s only wish, which was to have the love of her subjects. It was a wish that should have rightfully been granted, but instead was returned with malice and suspicion. You were not fully to blame for this. Thus, I could not destroy you, even for the sake of revenge. It would have brought me down to Chrysalis’s level if I destroyed you: a kind, caring, pony. It was not worth it. Even if it meant I could drive a sword through Celestia’s heart.”
“That is a lie! Tia would hate us for what we forced her to do! Her memories would never be so kind to us!”
I stared into Luna’s pleading eyes. It was as if she knew what I was about to say. Her eyes wanted so badly to see my mouth move, but her body seemed to brace itself for an onslaught of daggers. Briefly, I bit my lip and shut my eyes. I knew she did not want to hear what I had to say, but it was my lie that had put us all into this situation. I would tell her the truth.
“Luna, your sister loved you. Even when she was about to die, she never hated you. Her last command was for me to save you, not to kill you. She never blamed you for your descent into Nightmare Moon. She only hated herself for her ignorance.”
It was a good thing I watched Luna closely, because as soon as I finished, she seized her crown with her magic and flung it away. As it clattered on the floor, Luna collapsed onto the floor, while I stood, shock-still at her grief-stricken cry that split the sky.
“Tiaaaaaaa!”
Alternia and Celestia, Celestia and Alternia, was all Twilight Sparkle could think of. Were they two beings brought together by fate on one night? Or were they the same changeling?
“Equestria to Twilight Sparkle?” The words filtered into the unicorn’s head and she blinked her eyes to see the rest of the company staring at her, worried frowns creasing their brows.
Twilight rubbed her temples with ink-stained hooves.
“I’m here. I just have trouble believing it all.”
Shining Armour nodded, his head shaking slowly from side to side. “I have the same problem. I’ve served directly under the Princess for my whole career. To find out she’s a changeling? It really boggles my mind.”
“Well, I think she was telling the truth. I know I can’t prove it and I don’t like that she is, but that’s what I think,” said Applejack.
“I trust Alternia. Her story was so... sad,” whimpered Fluttershy.
Rarity nodded, but her brow was furrowed and her visage uncharacteristically darkened. “I know it was sad, dear Fluttershy, but that does not mean it is necessarily true. Our changeling queen has left many questions unanswered in her tale.”
Cadance glanced reprovingly at the ivory unicorn. “Rarity, I do think that Alternia, that my aunt is telling the truth. Although, I do agree with you that there are some things I would like to know from her. Like, what happened to the original Celestia and where is she?”
“How did she know about Auntie Luna’s return,” piped up Blueblood.
“And how did she pick us to be the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony?” mused Twilight.
“More importantly, are you a changeling?” demanded Rarity, hoof pointed like a dagger at Blueblood. The others stared at Rarity with wide-eyes and raised brows as she glared at the bemused Prince.
“What?”
“You are the nephew of the Princess are you not?” hissed Rarity.
“I’m her ward! She calls me nephew and I call her auntie!” protested Blueblood.
Rarity gawked and her cheeks began to turn red in embarrassment. “Oh... well I was just checking.”
Applejack sighed at her friend’s melodramatic antics, while Twilight turned to the final members of the group. “Rainbow Dash, what do you think?”
Privately, Twilight had expected that boisterous pegasus would have been the first to speak. Instead, Rainbow had been silent through the entire narrative. She hadn’t even made a sound during the duel between Alternia and Chrysalis. Now her normally focused magenta eyes were flickering left and right.
“I don’t know, Twilight. I don’t know if I should trust her or if I should throw her out of Canterlot! She’s Celestia, but she’s not Celestia. She’s Alternia, or is she? I mean she has been Celestia for so long right? Argh! I don’t know!” groaned Rainbow as she threw her hooves into the air.
Twilight smiled wryly and placed a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Rainbow, I don’t know either. The best thing we can do is to figure this all together. Spike, what do you think?”
The dragon blinked and stared at Twilight. “Wait, you’re asking for my opinion? You never ask for my opinion.”
“The Princess raised you, Spike. In this matter, your opinion is as important as everypony else’s,” explained the unicorn to her assistant.
Spike pursed his lips, his eyes slightly narrowed. “Well, I know the Princess can’t prove what she says. Still, how she told her story was exactly like how she told me stories when I was a baby dragon.”
“You still are a baby dragon, Spike,” said Twilight.
“Yeah, yeah, I know that, Twilight, but the point is, I think she was the Celestia I knew all this time and I trust that Celestia,” concluded the dragon. Twilight nodded her agreement with Spike as she wrote down the thought in her notes.
“That’s very good, Spike. What about you, Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie still wore a smile, but her chin was on her hoof and she seemed to be pondering something rather serious. “I think I might just ask Celternia to join me in our prank wars! Do you know how awesome a partner she’d make? I mean we could do so many fun things together and pull off some great pranks! Besides, I think Celternia looks like she needs some cheering up.” The ponies and dragon stared at Pinkie, blinking. Philomena had tucked her head into her wing and her soft giggles echoed through the chamber.
“You don’t get it? Celestia and Alternia, makes Celternia? No good? Alright, what about Altestia? Nope? Princess Celaltia? Then let’s try, Queen Celesnia of Equestria?” Pinkie suddenly gasped. “Hey! Did anypony notice Celestia, Alternia and Equestria rhyme?”
Twilight slowly put her hoof to her head and scratched her suddenly frazzled mane. “Pinkie Pie, I think we should just stick to ‘Princess’ for now. But you do have a point. The princess does need cheering up. We should go find her.”
Luna’s cry of despair tore a hole in my heart, but while my mind filled with hundreds of phrases of encouragement, none came to my lips. With nothing else to do, I summoned my magic and levitated Luna’s crown to her. Yet, she batted it aside with her hoof, throwing the unfortunate piece of regalia to the floor, again.
“We do not deserve to be a princess of Equestria, or Celestia’s sister!” she sniffed. I cringed and knelt next to Luna, but she shuffled away and turned so that I could only see her back.
“Why not?” I asked.
“We beat our own sister to the edge of death. If we cannot even take care of our own sister, how can we care for our ponies? We know the punishment for our crimes, mayhaps we should pay for them!” she sobbed. I opened my mouth, but uttered no sound. I had to comfort, Luna somehow, and in some way. But what to say? I shifted closer to Luna, trying to make eye contact with her, but she kept avoiding my gaze.
“Luna, please! What will Equestria do without you?” I begged
“They will do what they have for a thousand years and listen to thee! Our ponies have flourished and entered into prosperity unheard of under thy guidance. Yet, we repaid thee by invading thy most sacred memories and repeated what our sister did a thousand years ago! Why art thou even trying to comfort us? Leave us now!”
My breath caught in my throat and I froze. She was right. Why was I trying to help this foolish alicorn? She forced her way into my head, peered upon my most treasured memories without my permission. If not for Luna, Celestia would have never needed to make me impersonate her. How much political headache and mountains of paperwork did I have to go through to restore her to her former position? How much time and infuriating effort did I have to give to teach Luna about the modern era? What had she and her sister ever do for my Equestria?
A cold chill, like flowing ice-water, seeped into my chest. I flexed my muscles and raised myself from the floor. I sensed the ends of my hooves go numb as I trotted to the door. Luna continued to weep, but I did not look back.
As my hooves stepped over the doorjamb, I heard Luna spoke. It was like she was talking through a tunnel, but the words rung with an awful finality.
"Alternia, tell Twilight Sparkle we have left to roam more solitary fields. Where our presence cannot harm anypony or being."
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Terror coursed through my veins. All my thoughts of vengeance, of anger were banished.
“No,” I said.
I spun around and cantered quickly to Luna’s side. My horn glowed as I seized the alicorn and lifted her into the air. With a heave, I deposited her onto the observatory’s lone couch. She hit the velvet antique in a cloud of dust. The princess stared at me confused and tried to get up, but I lifted an unyielding hoof to her face.
“Luna, I will not let you leave,” I rasped.
“Why not, Alternia?” she gasped.
“Because...” I swallowed. I shut my eyes and bit my lips so hard I thought my fangs would draw blood. My teeth ground against each other in indecision. In my heart, I knew why I had stopped her, but I remained paralyzed.
“Because what?”
“Because you’re my sister!” I cried.
The alicorn froze as if a Windigo had embraced her and stared up at my averted eyes.
“What?” croaked the alicorn.
I turned away from Luna as I remembered a time not so long ago. “I first met you two years ago.”
It was when Nightmare Moon had just been purified by the Elements of Harmony. What Twilight and her friends didn’t know was that I watched them. From my hiding place in the Everfree Forest, I had observed the events that led to my student and her friends finding the Elements. My heart had plummeted when I watched Twilight fall, my teeth had chattered when they faced the Manticore, I almost screamed at the trees and my heart nearly dropped to my stomach when Rainbow faced the Shadowbolts. I sat on the sidelines and did nothing when Twilight faced Nightmare Moon. All the while, I fought the temptation to blast you to nothingness, and reminded myself to trust the abilities of my protégé.
“Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.” I smiled at Applejack’s statement, and reckoned it was time for me to appear.
“Indeed you do.” I released my disguise and summoned my magic. With the moon freed from Nightmare Moon’s grasp, I raised the sun into the sky and teleported into the castle.
Twilight was the first to see me and met me with a delighted smile. “Princess Celestia!”
I embraced Twilight, “Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.”
Twilight looked up at me, her eyes wide, “But... you told me it was all an old pony tale...”
“I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart.” As I spoke to Twilight, the corners of my eyes tracked the wisps of smoke wafting away to reveal your form.
The first thing I noticed was how frail you looked. Where you had once stood at almost equal height to Celestia, you now barely reached her shoulder. Yet, I had to strain the muscles in my face to stop my brow from furrowing. I knew that if not for you, Celestia would not have needed to force me into her role.
“Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!” I saw you stiffen at my voice. You looked up with eyes that were moist with regret, and trembling in fear. You averted your gaze immediately, but for a moment, I was struck silent.
I forced my lips to move. “It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this.” I knelt by your side, examining you closely for any malignant magic, but found none. All I could see was a young pony, on the verge of tears. I was reminded of why I had decided to spare you. That you were not originally a tyrant, but an innocent alicorn I had seen in your sister’s memories, an alicorn attempting to put up a brave front, but was failing. A pony, whose safety had been entrusted to me. I wondered, what could I offer to staunch those tears? Perhaps you would be cheered up by being given what was being denied to you.
“Time to put our differences behind us; we were meant to rule together, little sister.”
I barely heard the exclamations of Twilight and her friends. My eyes focused on your downcast face. You did not speak or even answer me. I did not know what else I could offer you. If not equal rule of Equestria, what would comfort you? So I gave you the only gift I could give at the time.
“Will you accept my friendship?”
An unbearable silence that stretched on and on met my question. I breathed in, ready to let out my breath in a sigh. It seemed that even if I saved you from Nightmare Moon, I could not save you from yourself. What would I say to Celestia?
Then, you threw yourself up at me. I started and sprang to my hooves, only felt your nose nuzzling my neck. My mouth wide open, I stared at the alicorn crying joyfully into my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!”
I felt my cheeks dampen as you leant against my chest. With bleary eyes, I smiled and rubbed my chin against your forehead. Today, I had gained something I had thought I had lost forever.
“I’ve missed you too.”
I had gained a new sister.
O.o
@.@
So much drama and feels... I'm more confused than crying.
Really, get the ball rolling into the direction of them needing to get The REAL Princess Celestia! I'm sure she's alive considering the given plot line before.
FEELS GO AWAY NO STOP STOP BEATING ME!
Non so come andrà a finire ma temo che presto la vera Celestia tornerà e qualcosa mi dice che quando lo farà saranno guai.
2726227 wahhh confused? and as for Celestia? All in good time.
2726261 Je ne comprende pas. Utilise anglais si vous plait
2726241
awww this'll only make it sadder when (if) Celestia comes back during the time frame of this story, since Alternia won't want to leave her 'new sister' and Celestia will want her place back, the only options I see are "lol we have a new sister, u mad equestria' or Equestrian Kombat
I have to say, everypony else seemed to take that quite well, except Luna of course. In a way I kind of expected Luna to respond in this way, though you got me a little worried when you threw up the suicide flag for Luna (yeah I know that wasn't what you were going for, but it could possible be seen that way) when she said she was going to more "solitude fields" or something like that. Great job again, can't wait for the next chapter.
2726288 Luna is really the only one who did anything of great great gravity.... Twilight just kinda didn't actually almost kill Alternia, and they made up... (or did she ?) and all the worse since Luna... as I've sortof implied, hasn't gotten over her guilt for NMN. Thus, she's kinda in guilt mode.
2726286 No comment.
Nice to see this gem updating. And good ending.
This story is really interesting!
I am super duper excited that I managed to find it!
Dem Feels! It's understandable that Alternia would accept Luna as a sister considering she lost her own.
Dawww, all the fells.
Anyway nice for Celestia to be on sidelines to assist Twilight if thinks would go out of control, though I am not sure what Alternia mean when she said that Luna is her sister, do this mean that Luna is changeling, or it is something else, there are still many questions unanswered, I hope the answers will come soon.
Must not cry...must not cry...think of manly things...guns and explosions and car chases and...
That chapter hit me with feels almost as hard as the snowdrops animation.
*sniff*
But then again, what does.
I can see why you wanted to make sure this scene worked well as it did. A whole tidal wave/rollercoaster of emotions was taking place here and I loved the theme of what sisters meant to them.
Love to see how their relationship grows from there. But now she needs to go and do the same with Twilight and Reconcile with her now.
Also, should be interesting to see how Alternia, if given a chance, try to answer any of Rarity's concerns with her story. Though, I think she would be too busy trying to strangle Blueblood with her own hooves.
Anyway, glad to see the story moving on in the present-tense as we finally gotten enough context to know why Alternia is standing in for Celestia. Can't wait for the next chapter though!
So keep up the good work!
2726277
Interesting choice. Given that the commenter obviously has a means for reading English, am I correct in guessing that you used French because, being romance, it should drive home the problem with you receiving a message in Italian while still being related closely enough to Italian to Google Translate well? (Or even possibly be puzzled out without help, given the common ancestry of the words.)
Also, as someone with a perfectionist streak who's currently studying French, I want to point out a minor correction so it stops nagging at me: You probably meant "Utilisez" (second-person formal/plural imperative), not "Utilise" (present-tense third-person singular indicative). ("Utilise" translates to "uses" as in "He/she/it uses...")
So, the reason of Celestia/Alternia´s inaction was the need of the mare six to find and bound to the Elements by themselves?
2726685 I didn't even know it was italian... its all seems french to me :P
2726306 Thanks!
2726490 My thoughts exactly
2726428 Thats good :D
2726518 ?... I thought I showed it that Alternia treats Luna as her sister... but that's for next chapter to clear it up.
2726521
2726608 We shall see....
2726717 No comment
2726735
I understand the sentiment. Italian isn't something you see very often around the English-speaking parts of the 'net.
At first, the feel of words like "temo" and "vera" made me think it might be Spanish or Portuguese (neither of which I speak, but which I bump into every now and then) but, somehow, it didn't look quite right. (Apparently I only recognize Italian on sight when messages use the big, complicated words.)
Tip: Google Translate's "detect language" option is on by default and works very well.
Equestria got their Princess, who it then needed more than ever.
Someone was around to deal with the return of Nightmare Moon.
Luna got her sister to love and support her.
Alternia got to survive. She also got Equestria to love her and Luna as a sister.
Celestia and Alternia were awfully lucky to run into each other.
You bring up the point whether Alternia isn't really Celestia multiple times. Who can say whether she'd be distinguishable from a "real" Celestia that had to rule alone for a millennium, superficial differences aside?
I wonder whether Celestia's "rest" isn't eternal, i.e. her wounds were fatal and she retreated to die in secret. It fits both the narrative and her character very well. However, the difference between a resting Celestia and a dead Celestia only matters if her return is part of this story.
I had gained a new sister... Tears of Joy
What would you do if I told you I didn't even feel a pang of sadness while reading this?
so much sadness, its painful but heartwarming to know that even thou alternia has a right to hate luna she doesnt. she is truly being the bigger mare in this messed up scenario. bravo to her!
2727075 I would say it was understandable. People cry at different times. Frankly, i didn't cry when I was writing this and honestly I wouldn't cry either if I was just reading it for the first time. In my opinion... It wasn't the best of my emotional scenes (that honor is currently reserved for chapter 8)... it was really supposed to be more of a bittersweet ending of a joyful note explanation/moment to show the audience how Alternia treats Luna. Think of it as a transition chapter.
2726854
2726866 Glad to hear of it.
2727200 Welll.... better not spoil it for Twi and Alternia. I mean this scene was chiefly to explain Luna's role in this mess and set up for their future relationship (no... not that kind). I havne't really gone in-depth-in depth on how Alternia is feeling about this entire situation. You've seen glimpses I hope... but that's reserved for a future chapter...
2726518 Oh and congratulations on the feature for Celestia's Tiny Student. its a pretty good concept with solid beginning so far (only up to 1st chapter) although there are a few flow issues that should be worked out. I will fav it as soon as I finish the available chapters
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/420/673/05f.gif
2727405
Thanks, I am currently trying to get as much assistance as I can to fix those chapters to get the issues what ruin them out of the way before I start making new chapters, so I think it will take a bit time before there will be an update.
That ninja with bowls of onions needs to stop leaving his inventory lying around.
...
Darn it! Now you've gone and made me all sappy!
...
Kudos.
2727398 I'm reffering to when the real Celestia dies.
So damn saaaaaaddddddd.....
Trostani?
Th8y don't.
Comfort, Luna Somehow, comfort.
Tense pro8lems.
2726518 fells?
2728284 Who says that she's going to die? She's been recovering.
2728753 Her Physical form died and she needed to rest to be able to regenerate.
Great chapter.
... Poor Luna.
Cassia, are you crying?
She do not... need to feel so sad... *Sniffles* It wasn't... all her fault. *Turns towards Garand* Weren't you... crying as well?
Well, someone walked past with some stingiest-
*Glares at Garand*
Okay, okay... Yeah, I was tearing up too. >_> But everything is going to be better! *Mutters* I hope...
(vren55 would know why Cassia is crying.)
2728361
2727420 that's good :D
2728550 ... the Celestia Alternia and Equestria do rhyme. But thanks for pointing out the other stuff.
2728845 Thanks :D
2728923 I had to re-read the interlude chapter of your story to figure it out, but yeah I know... WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE!
2729045 Rhymes are from the stressed sylla8le to the end, rather than the last two sylla8les.
I was just thinking of this today. What a crazy random happenstance
Excited for more
2729045
It's currently 500 words in for Chapter 4 but the writer's block isn't making it easy.
2729083 May not be perfect rhyme, but it is still is a form of rhyme.
2729118 Indeed :D glad you are excited for more.
2729134 Meh. I wouldn't call it a rhyme, 8ut to each his (or her, or its) own.
The ending of Episode 2, where Celestia and Luna were reunited, hit me right in the feels and even made me cry a little. It was at that point that I had completely transitioned from "why the hell am I watching my little pony" to "holy crap I actually care about these characters."
This chapter. Oh Armok this chapter. The same scene, but from a completely different point of view. It has hit me in those feels all over again.
Hnnnnng...that ending just made me tear up, and at the same time, I can't stop smiling. I love this story, and this was a great chapter to add to it. Great to see another update!
What is this? The day of BAAAAAWW?
I can't handle all these feels!
2726302 Hm... But every action always has an equal reaction.
This is pure speculation, but I have a hunch that perhaps Alternia will find herself reliving some of the more
tragic parts of her reign. (BESIDES what happened before she became a body double for Celestia.)
Imagine, some hellish deity forcing her into vision foretelling the complete destruction of Equestria, the harrowing suffering of her little ponies.
And maybe even more.
2729134 Still going on about the rhyming?
spacetimestudios.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=14061&d=1343012360
Might be in good taste, might be in horrid taste, I know not. Precalc dominates my brainage.
As for me, I apparently have no feels. They rusted over from some previous fandumb drama ages past.
2737953 or because you were a prereadr and read this chapter at its worst I hope you like it more now
2738880 At most I found it odd that Alternia was shouting stop at Luna that was left over from the draft I originally read when you sent it to us. Now I've got to convince another author not to eliminate one of the chief sources of conflict for his story out of hand.
Lots of feels here.
You had me worried about Luna there for a second. I knew this story wasn't going to go there, but her guilt and sorrow was so tangible that... Well, let's just say if this story had a Dark tag or a Teen/Mature rating, I wouldn't be surprised if she sent herself to somewhere full of eternal fields of solitude.
That last sentence was so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Beautiful and bittersweet. Tainted joy.
Few things I caught:
Need a question mark here.
Comma after the second "did".
Need a question mark here.
Missing period.
Also, check the section with the Mane Six, Cadence, Shining Armor, and Bluebood. You're missing some spacing between some dialogue.
Overall, great chapter. Feelings were conveyed, and while the plot didn't advance too much, everypony's perspectives have been examined--or, at least, touched upon. Waiting patiently for more awesomeness.
2748072 TBH first draft was she attempt to commit suicide... until I realized just her forcing Alternia away would be just as effective to demonstrate her guilt and also after my pre-reader Zervziel beat my head with the metaphorical newspaper and knocked some sense into me.
The plot isn't meant to advance any further... I have to tie up these loose ends first or else Alternia will never be able to work together with Twi, Luna and co. when she has to....
... nearly spoiled... if you do want to get spoilt message me.
First off: good work. Quite the emotional chapter.
Now, I may not be understanding this, but why wouldn't Alternia get her revenge? If she hates Celestia as much as she does and let it fester for a millennia, I highly doubt a cowering alicorn who had nearly killed her student would stop her.
However, this also opens the door for other bits of revenge, like allowing Discord to be captured rather than killed and the abandonment of Celestia's original castle.
Still, I'm not too sure I personally like Alternia yet. While she is "Celestia", she is also an indecisive actress who will go from abandoning Luna to her grief to telling her she accepted her as her sister immediately after her attempted coup. The worst thing an actor/actress can do is second guess any decision, even more so for a ruler.
It's a great read regardless, so don't think I will stop being in anticipation! As I'm sure you are aware, I just have a taste for characterization which dictates my liking of OC's.
2748699
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Alright, now I shall still wait...maybe just not as patiently!