There was a voice in his head. And it didn't want him to take off the amulet.
"Hello?" he said aloud, wondering if he could just think and the voice would understand him.
Of course, idiot.
Ha! There you are again!
It's probably nothing, self.
He rolled his eyes. "Ok, that isn't going to work anymore."
I'm probably just crazy.
"Can you stop speaking in first person? In my head, at least?" he asked with a frown. "It's pretty disturbing now that I think about the what happened today."
His mind was empty.
Finally, the voice replied softly: Will you not take me off?
"So you are the amulet." he asked decisively.
Yes, I am. the amulet said irritably. Now can you please say you won't take me off?
"You've kind of made me an enemy of the Crown." the thief observed flatly, giving a nervous glance around him for good measure. "I don't think you're in a position to demand anything of me."
Oh, shut up.
He reached for his neck.
Wait! I take it back!.
He allowed himself a small grin of victory. "Let's be a little respectful here, Mr. Amulet."
Miss.
"What did I miss?"
I'm female.
"You're an amulet." he observed sardonically.
Then I'm a female amulet.
"Your voice sounds pr-" he stopped and put a hoof on his chin, thinking. "Actually, yeah, your voice sounds kind of feminine, now that I think about it."
Doubter.
The thief shook his head after a moment, then started laughing. It was a dry sort of laugh, bordering on hysteria. The laugh of a creature at wit's end.
. . . what?
"I'm having a conversation with a voice in my head. That claims to be this amulet hung around my neck." he clarified.
So . . . ?
"I'm going insane!" he cried out.
Get a hold of yourself, you idiot! We're both going to be caught if you don't get it together!
The earth pony quieted his guffaws, before asking quietly: "Well, what do you suggest, all-powerful dark magic amulet? You must have experience in escaping the authorities."
I can't move, you realize?
"Oh, yeah." he realized. "None of this is my fault . . ." he said sadly.
Stop blaming me already.
"You must have done this to dozens of ponies over the years, then, right? Dark magic is dark magic, you must know something on how to get out of this mess!" he continued, brightening up a bit.
I . . . I don't. she mumbled sadly.
His head was silent again. "Oh, come on!" he growled. "Get me in to this mess, sure, but wher-"
"Identify yourself!" a deep voice called from outside of his view. Now that he had shut up, the thief became aware of somepony slowly crunching though the forest vegetation towards him.
"A Guard." he whispered, then smacked his head. "Now I'm telling you what's happening. This is ridiculous."
I can hear just as well as you. the amulet spoke up.
"Comforting." he muttered, before ducking behind a large tree.
A Royal Guard unicorn strode out of the undergrowth, his armor scratched and fur cut. He was alert, glancing around cautiously to find the source of the talking he'd heard.
Magic. The thief remembered he had magic now. Alright amulet, do your thing.
I can't.
"What?" he hissed, then cringed and covered his mouth with a hoof. It was too late: the Guard tensed up instantly and looked in his direction.
I can only do what you imagine.
And I can only do what you allow me to do.
Exactly. You should break his leg.
What? No!
Unavoidably, the mental image of him doing such a thing appeared unbidden. The sickly crack in his mind made him grimace.
A very real scream of pain made his ears go flat a second later.
"I hate you." he said in a strained voice.
You're so sentimental.
I'm sorry.
He peered around the tree, and sure enough, the Guard was on the ground with his foreleg bent at an unnatural angle. The thief's face was one of pure guilt.
However, looking into a stagnant pool just beyond the injured Guard, he saw himself as the Guard did: a cloaked pony with glowing green eyes and purple mist flowing in torrents from said eyes. No wonder he saw a barest hint of fear behind the stoic expression.
"You'll pay for this." the Guard growled, his horn glowing. Before the thief could apologize, run, or help the unicorn, a shaft of magical light shot up from the horn and into the sky. There, it exploded in a shower of bright red sparks.
"It's a signal for the other guards." the thief realized, too quietly for the injured Guard to hear the fear in his voice.
It's a signal for the other guards. the amulet snarled at the same time.
"No. Not for the other guards." the Guard said with a knowing, defiant grin.
"Oh no." the thief whispered, eyes widening at the shadow speeding across the clearing at him.
What's he rambling about? the amulet asked with genuine curiosity.
Princess Celestia landed between the thief and the downed Guard.
"Your reign of terror over my little ponies is over, dark magic user." she said calmly, but with frightening force behind her words.
I only failed at robbing one bank . . .
'Reign of terror'? Yes!
"I do not know from whence you came, but I will find out." Celestia continued, taking a step towards the cloaked thief, whose eyes still bled purple mist freely.
This was the Princess herself! The thief was almost unable to wrap his mind around how royally screwed he was. Literally.
"Get me out of here." he hissed softly to the amulet.
Why? she practically whined. It's just getting interesting!
"She'll imprison me," and when that failed to get a meaningful reaction beyond a snort, he continued a little louder, "and destroy you!"
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at his last two words, the only ones loud enough to reach her ears.
He disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke a moment later, his desperate wish to escape now shared by the amulet.