“What the hay was that, Applejack!?”
“A-ah panicked! Twilight was goin’ on about two-legged critters an’ you were-“
“And I was what!? Walking calmly through your orchard!? They don’t even look scary!”
“But ah was- they were-”
“Just walking! Through your orchard! Is that how you greet everypony!? ‘Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! How ‘bout a buck to the face!’”
Rainbow couldn’t believe it. Even she wouldn’t be stupid enough to attack those two if they were walking with a friend of hers. Applejack was supposed to be the level-headed one, for Celestia’s sake!
Alex and Dana were standing a couple of meters away, Rainbow having taken Applejack away to chew her out. Dana looked worried, while Alex just stared at AJ over that stuff he carried with a strangely neutral expression. He didn’t look hurt from the buck, so she must have botched it somehow. Looked pretty solid from where Rainbow was standing, but Applejack looked more hurt than Alex did. She had to have screwed that up somehow.
Applejack was seated on her haunches, a downtrodden look on her face. Her back hooves seemed sore, but she most certainly deserved that.
“Ah’m sorry, alright? But what’re those two doin’ here anyway?” She asked, looking over at Alex warily. She kept giving Alex looks, but Rainbow didn’t know why.
“They’re here because of the flash. They were looking for a place to stay, so I was gonna walk them into town so nopony panics.”
Applejack turned to face her. “They know about th’ flash?”
Rainbow shrugged as best as she could while ground-bound. She already missed flying. “Well, I dunno if they know about the flash, but they said they came from it.”
AJ furrowed her brow in confusion, but let it drop. “So why’re y’all scuffed up like that?”
“I got blindsided by an air-twister and crashed into Everfree.” Rainbow said nonchalantly. “It was pretty bad, but they kept me from getting eaten and even fixed my wing!” She experimentally twitched her left front hoof. “... and I think my hoof to. It hurts when I step on it, but it kind of feels like my wing does.”
Applejack stared at her. “Ah’ll admit that Ah don’t know much about weather, but Ah don’t think there’s sucha thing as an ‘air-twister’.”
Rainbow scoffed. “Who’s the pegasus here, you or me? I think I know what I’m talking about.” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t matter. Go and apologize!”
Applejack hunched, her ears folding back. “Do... do Ah have ta?”
Rainbow just stared at her friend in open-mouthed shock. “Do you- Of course you have to!” She shouted. “Oh my gosh are you serious!? This is the kind of thing you and the girls expect from me! Why wouldn’t yo-“
“T’one with the blue eyes gives me the creeps.” Applejack cut in sharply but quietly.
Rainbow furrowed her brow in confusion, and tried to recall their eye colors. She was pretty certain the both had the same eye color. “They both have blue eyes.” She deadpanned.
“Ah mean th’ one with the blue blue eyes!”
The pegasus just stared, her expression a combination of bewilderment and frustration. “Ya know, Pinkie and Fluttershy have some pretty blue blue eyes too. Guess they give you the creeps too?”
“Th’one ah bucked, gosh darnit!” Applejack hissed. “His eyes‘r too darn bright. ‘s almost like they were glowin’.”
“You mean Alex?” Rainbow looked over at the aforementioned human, thinking back to the cave. She did remember that he had some pretty... shiny eyes, but she didn’t think they were glowing. That could just be normal for humans.
On the other hoof, she didn’t remember Dana’s eyes being like that.
She shook her head. “Okay, I’ll give you that. The dude has some seriously creepy eyes, but that could be normal for him! Why-“
“Rainbow.” Applejack started, her face deathly serious. “Ah bucked ‘im as hard as Ah could. It was solid, Ah felt it. He didn’t even flinch.”
The pegasus rolled her eyes. “You obviously botched it. He doesn’t even look winded.”
“It was solid, and Ah bucked as hard as Ah could. Ah did not botch that there kick.”
Rainbow scrutinized her friend, before realizing some important; Applejack was the Element of Honesty. She most certainly was not just saying that to protect her pride.
“...You didn’t botch the kick?”
“Nope.” Applejack confirmed.
“Not even a little bit?”
The farmpony shook her head. “Nuh-uh.”
“...Woah.” Was all Rainbow Dash could say as she looked back at Alex with a whole new respect for the guy. The human was built like a twig by pony standards, but apparently looks could be deceiving. She wondered if his sister was the same way. “Dude’s tougher than he looks.”
“Puttin’ it lightly, Rainbow. Sturdier than a mountain’s what he is.”
Rainbow shook her head. “Still, so what? He has creepy eyes and is tougher than he looks. Why are you so afraid of saying you’re sorry!?”
“Ah uh... Ah...” Applejack’s brow creased while she tried to think of a reason. “Ah... don’t know. I jus’ gotta bad feelin’ about ‘im, Dash.”
The pegasus scoffed. “You know who else we all had bad feelings about? Zecora.”
Applejack’s ears went back as she looked towards her hooves despondently. Hit the nail on the head with that one. “Ah... Ah’m sorry. How Ah’m actin’ is just shameful.”
“I’m not the one you need to say sorry to.” Rainbow pointed out.
Applejack could only nod, before she stood up and began walking towards the human siblings.
Blacklight had been watching and listening to the exchange with mild interest. Their words weren’t hushed, but at the distance he and his sister were standing, a normal human would probably only make out a few words.
The virus, not being a normal human whatsoever, could hear everything they said. Most worrisome was their attention to his eyes.
Blacklight easily could have normal human eyes, but he tends to forgo that in his Alex form. The reason being that reflective irises allow him to see better in low light conditions. This combined with the fact that he is immune to permanent ocular damage, meant that he rarely ever changed his eyes to be normal. The reflective ‘glow’ effect was really only visible in low light conditions.
Low light conditions obviously included the cave that he and Dana met Rainbow Dash properly in. He could guess why ‘Applejack’ could see the effect as well. Her being much shorter than him combined with the position of the sun meant that during the time she had looked up at him after the buck, he had been casting a shadow over her. This would make his abnormal eye effect very visible, as was clearly witnessed. Earlier, he wouldn’t have had to worry about doing so to humans due to none of them being short enough to have him peering down at them whilst providing them with shade, as he generally avoided children and had never even personally seen a dwarf before.
It was clear that the two noticed his eyes, so it was pointless changing them. If he did, it would draw an unnecessary amount suspicion if they noticed the blatant change. Besides, with them apparently knowing nothing of normal human biology, and Dana not understanding a word he speaks to them, he could easily convince them that all human males have eyes as reflective as his.
As for the bad feelings Applejack seemed to hold for him, he wasn’t certain if it was just her surprise at his resistance towards her kick or the fact that she could somehow sense him that brought the feelings along. It was impossible to tell, but he figured if he could be detected by them in any sense, he would find that out once they meet more of the ponies.
The kick Applejack delivered would have killed a normal human being, and if the recent turn in her and Rainbow Dash’s conversation was anything to go by, she knew that. Once again, he could just assure that all human males are as tough and strong as himself should they ask. Really, Blacklight was surprised that the only wound the orange pony sustained were two sore hooves.
The average human being has enough strength to break their own arms and legs should they flex hard enough. Antagonistic muscle groups prevent this from happening unless there is a severe fight or flight reaction taking place. Applejack had enough force behind her attack to shatter the bones of a creature her size by simply rearing up for the kick, while the delivery should have rendered her legs bloody mush. That was more than enough strength for her to deadlift a car over her head, yet her bones remain unbroken. Impossibly durable, just like her pegasus companion.
Even if Blacklight wasn’t stewing in rage, he would still want to consume the equine, if only to satisfy his curiosity as to how it was biologically possible for her to be that strong and durable despite being such a small creature.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Dana asked next to him worriedly. “That looked like it fuckin’ hurt.”
“I’ve had worse.” Blacklight responded truthfully.
He was, of course, still pissed off at the orange pony. He was just doing a good job of hiding that. Charging in and attacking without thinking could have gotten Dana fatally injured. This meant that Applejack was at the top of his shitlist. Normally, those on Blacklight’s shitlist got brutally dispatched as soon as he was able to do so, but the special circumstances had rendered him silent.
It was rather eye opening, however. He never realized his self-control was so... slippery. He had to actively restrain his arms from writhing restlessly at the sight of the redneck equine. His willpower was nearing its breaking point just trying to keep himself from growling like a feral animal.
Alarming, is what it was. Realizing that he wasn’t quite as in control as he thought. Hopefully what had transpired would be the only murderous-rage-inducing incident.
Hopefully.
He noticed that Applejack and Rainbow Dash had finished their exchange with a note on someone named ‘Zecora’, and the former was walking towards him and his sister.
He silently marveled at his ability to repress growling like an angry wolf as she drew near.
“Ah, uh...” She started. He never thought he’d hear Greek uttered in a southern accent. “Ah’m real sorry ‘bout buckin yah. Ah wasn’t thinkin’ an’... can ya forgive me?”
No, not really. He would very much like to tell her that if she ever so much as stood near Dana again, he would beat her to death with her own severed limbs. Even moreso, he would like to do exactly that with no words uttered at all.
“Just don’t do it again.” He stated in a tone that clearly said that he did not forgive her.
Dana just seemed to be looking at the orange pony with a strange mix of bewilderment and wonder. “She...” She started giggling. “Does she have a southern drawl?”
The pony wears a stetson on her head. Really, the stupid accent should be expected. The only reason she probably wasn’t laughing at the hat was probably because the first thing she saw the pony do is kick her brother. She was distracted with worry. Touching, if unnecessary.
Applejack, meanwhile, folded her ears back and absently kicked the dirt beneath her hoof. “Well, uh...” She said. “Ah won’t. Do it again, Ah mean.” She forces an awkward cough. “Ah’d best let yah go on yer way.” She excused herself and began walking away, weaving through the apple trees.
Blacklight idly noticed that the mark on her flank depicted three apples, and she worked on an apple orchard. He wasn’t entirely certain what Rainbow Dash’s mark meant, but he remembered seeing that every inhabitant of the village save for a few really small ones had a mark on their flank.
He’d have to ask about that at some point.
Rainbow Dash was trotting towards them, wincing every time she put weight on her previously dislocated hoof. “I am SO sorry about her. I had no idea she would react like that!”
“It’s fine.” He lied. “We aren’t going to get any more surprises like that, are we?”
Rainbow scrunched her face in thought. “Well we shouldn’t expect anything, but Applejack already surprised me once today. You should probably stick closer to me.” She puffed her chest out the best she could in her injured state. “I’ll protect you guys.” She declared.
God help those in the crossfire should the day come where the Monster of Manhattan needs to be protected from something by a tiny winged equine.
But the pony didn’t know that. He’d humor her, of course. Hopefully her close proximity would prevent a second instance of sudden needless assault.
Somewhere in Ponyville, a pink pony was suddenly overcome with several body spasms.
Blue eyes widened with excitement, said pony zoomed off towards Sweet Apple Acres with inequine speed, an impossibly large grin stretched across her features.
“That’s the town you saw?”
Blacklight, Dana, and Rainbow Dash approached the exit to the property. The borders were marked with white picket fences, the gate marked with an arch and a sign with an apple cut out from it.
“Yes.” Blacklight confirmed. “Stay close to m-“
“Hi there!”
Several things happened in less than the span of a second.
Blacklight lost his grip on his food items, sending them tumbling to the ground. There was something right next to his face.
The grey of his right arm’s ‘hoodie’ swirled and a sharpened black tendril formed out of part of his arm, launching itself towards the thing with intent of skewering its head.
The tendril was about four centimeters away from its target’s jaw before Blacklight realized that the target is, in fact, a pink pony with an impossibly large grin.
As quick as the tendril had come, he recalled it into himself. It reformed seamlessly back into part of his arm, and all was normal again.
The emergence and withdraw of the tendril happened so fast, that the human eye would have only caught a slight flicker of black movement. Blacklight hoped that no one noticed this.
Dana summarized the situation well shortly after the second had passed.
“Holy shit what the fuck where did she come from!?” Dana shouted, stumbling back from Blacklight and the newcomer.
“My name is Pinkie Pie who’re you two are you friends with Dashie are you aliens did you do that big flash what’s all that you were carrying do you like parties I like parties I’ve never met anypony like you are you two related wow your eyes are really pretty-“
Blacklight stared uncomprehendingly at the pink... thing that had appeared next to him while he attempted to make sense of the situation. Judging by the pony’s lack of reaction, she hadn’t noticed the deadly weapon spear out of his arm towards her before disappearing back into his body. That was good.
Though he was beginning to wish he had just killed and consumed the blabbermouth by reflex out of curiosity alone, because she managed to sneak up on him. Not once had anyone or anything ever snuck up on Blacklight in such a way. His senses were simply far too sharp. Yet somehow this pony managed to even silence her heartbeat while she approached, as all was silent a moment before her voice and a disturbingly loud and fast heartbeat filled his ears.
Either she has some form of heart-slowing technique and stealth skills to rival any human in existence, or she teleported. Blacklight briefly wondered what was happening to him after he realized that he found the second option more believable than the first.
“-and that’s how Equestria was made! What’s your name?”
The pony was now silent, looking at him with a massive smile and expectant blue eyes. He idly noticed that her head was level with his, and she was supporting herself via two hooves on his right shoulder in a display of considerable upper-body strength. Her mane -a curly dark pink mess- touched his forehead as she leaned in.
“...Alex Mercer.” He answered.
She grinned wider, something Blacklight would have considered a physical impossibility should he not have witnessed it in that moment. “It’s super-duper nice to meet you mister Mercer! My name is-“
“Pinkie Pie. You said your name before.” Blacklight pointed out. Rozie Píta; yet another name some might laugh out loud at should it be directly translated to English.
To this, Pinkie let out an obnoxiously long gasp. “You heard that!? Like, heard heard that!? Wow, you must have super good hearing or really really listen because I always have to repeat myself because I don’t talk as fast as I think and I think a lot of words and- ohmygosh!” Blacklight’s eyes widened as he watched the pink pony zip with impossible speed in front of his sister, who had been up to that point watching with both an amused and confused expression. She jumped as the pink pony appeared in front of her.
Blacklight struggled to repress the urge to leap forward and tear the mare apart for getting so close to his sister without warning.
“My name is Pinkie Pie who’re you are you related to Alex are you his friend will you be my friend do you like parties-“
“She can’t understand you. She doesn’t speak...” Blacklight bit back a groan. “...Equish.”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened as she turned to the virus. “Oh! My super-duper best friend Twilight could probably use that spell she learned studying under the princess that was always used for foreign meetings and parties and- ohwait!” She spun back to Dana. “Me.” She pointed a hoof at herself. “Pinkie Pie! You?” She pointed at Dana.
Dana looked at Blacklight with a questioning look. He helpfully mouthed ‘your name’ in English.
“Uh,” she looked back at Pinkie. “Dana. Dana Mercer.” She said as she warily grasped the offered hoof and gave a tentative shake.
“Nice to meet you Miss Uhdaynahdaynah Mercer!” Pinkie said as she erratically shook the offered limb, Dana looking startled at the ferocity of the hand/hoof shake. Blacklight once again had to repress the urge to surge forward and slice off the offending limb. “I’ve never met aliens before and you’re already friends with Dashie and you have a cool but weird name and-“ She cut herself off with another exaggerated gasp, letting go of Dana’s offered limb as she literally lifted off the ground during the intense gasp.
Blacklight’s lips formed a fine line as he yet again repressed the urge to violently consume the pony just for information as to how she so casually breaks the laws of physics.
“I haven’t thrown you two a party!” She exclaimed, before she zipped down the road towards Ponyville with impossible speeds that even the inhumanly fast virus could count himself jealous of, leaving a trail of unsettled dust in her wake.
Blacklight stood there, staring at where she had been with various sodas and junk food discarded at his feet. Dana stood there, her hand still out frozen in her pose looking completely befuddled. Rainbow Dash stood where she had been, watching with a look of both helplessness and amusement she had kept up since the beginning of the encounter.
Dana summarized Blacklight’s feelings on the situation very well.
“What the fuck just happened?” Was all Dana could say after having her hand vigorously shaken by a pink... blur. She looked at Alex, as if he had all the answers, only to find him looking off towards the town where the little pony had run to in bewilderment.
That expression of pure confusion would be pretty humorous were it not for the exact same expression marring her features.
Alex shook his head, before leaning over to pick up his dropped cargo. While doing so, he looked at the pegasus and asked a question in that weird fucking ooga-booga language he calls Greek.
Dana still thinks it’s fucking ridiculous how Alex just so happens to fucking speak Greek of all things, the language all the little colorful ponies of the gumdrop kingdom apparently speak. She tried not to stop and think about her situation too much; the sheer ridiculousness of it all makes her head hurt.
To recap, in the past month she had survived the fucking zombie apocalypse on steroids, her brother got Hollywood amnesia and superpowers, she’d been hunted by a super-secret organization with more power than the president and a license to kill whoever the fuck they want, and she’s gone to the rainbow land of mythical talking ponies, off on a wonderful adventure with her superpowered broody brother.
Dana can’t help but feel like it’s all a fucked up hallucination and in reality she’s just been in a padded room gibbering to herself.
That’d be a shitty plot twist.
Alex, apparently having finished his super-secret Greek conversation with his new pegasus BFF, turned to her as he finished picking up his lost cargo.
“Her name was Rozie Píta. Pinkie Pie, if you want a direct translation.” He informed.
Dana looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “’Pinkie’? Greek has a word specifically reserved for fucking ‘pinkie’?” She asked incredulously.
“’Roz’ means pink.” He shrugged, chip bags crinkling slightly. “’Rozie’ is just ‘roz’ with a pronounced IE at the end. So rozie is pinkie.”
Dana frowned. “So far I notice that every pony we come across has a name associated with their look. I mean, there’s ‘Rainbow’ over here,” She gestured at the pegasus, who watched the exchange with a little annoyance at not being included. “who has rainbow hair. There’s ‘Pinkie’, who is pink, and I don’t know who that one who kicked you but I bet she’s named Orange Kicker or something like that.”
“Apple Hoist, actually.” Alex corrected.
“And she had apple tats on her ass!” Dana paused for a second, before giggling. “Wait, seriously? The fucking southern-accented Greek pony with a cowboy hat is named ‘Apple Hoist’?”
“Mí̱loanýpso̱si̱ roughly translates to that, yes.” Her brother shrugged again. “It could also translate to Apple Lift, Apple Heft, Apple Upraise, and Apple Jack. It’s complicated.”
Dana just stared. Fucking weird alien horse names. “So how about for simplicity’s sake we just call her Applejack?” She grimaced. “Also, Milo-ani-pizozy? Christ, that’s a fucking mouthful.”
Rainbow Dash spoke up, looking confused. She was probably wondering why she kept hearing her friend’s name mentioned. Alex gibbered something back, before turning to Dana. “Apparently ‘Pinkie’ is going to throw us a party at some point. A surprise party, most likely. Try not to instinctively punch anything in the face when we get ambushed.” He warned.
“You’re one to talk. I’m not the guy who decided red is a good color to redecorate our fucking apartment with.” She deadpanned.
“Uh,” Alex began with that awkward ‘I don’t know what to look at so I’ll just look straight at the bags I’m carrying’ look. “it would probably be a brown-ish color by now.”
Dana decided not to grace him with a response.
“...Pinkie?” Twilight asked slowly.
“Yeperoonie?” Pinkie asked, still speeding around the building with impossible speeds leaving bright colorful decorations in her wake.
“Why are you decorating the library?”
“No time to explain!” She shouted, not pausing for a second. “Two somebodies are coming to Ponyville right now and I need a super-ultra-fast-surprise-party stat! No time to bake fresh need emergency ice cream cake and pre-mix punch and my party cannon needs to be reloaded and everypony needs to be in position in ten minutes or-” She suddenly gasped, before speeding right up to Twilight’s face.
To her credit, she didn’t flinch.
“Ohmygosh! I didn’t send invitations! I need to go Twilight! Hold the fort!”
“Pinkie, what two ‘somebodies’? Why specifically the library? What-“
Pinkie was already out the door.
Twilight frowned.
“Who throws a party in a library?” She mumbled to herself, remembering that this was the second time Pinkie had chosen to make inappropriate use of her reading sanctuary and home. She shook her head. She supposed that Pinkie always cleaned up the mess, so there’s no reason for Twilight to deny a party. She would have appreciated being asked first, though. She walked towards the entrance of her library, and looked back at the banner hanging from the ceiling.
‘Welcome to Ponyville Alex Mercer and Uhdaynadayna Mercer’ it read.
“’Uh-day-nah-day-nah Mer-sir.’” Twilight read aloud. “That sounds... exotic.” She mused.