Chapter 4
The southernmost edge of Equestria's borders were inhospitable to all at first glance. Towering, snow covered mountains stretched across the horizon for as far as any could see; their walls sheer and solid. It created an indomitable barrier between Equestria and any who would dare threaten her from the south; the range stretching nearly across the entire continent. However, upon further examination, more details would reveal that perhaps they were not as inhospitable as one might think.
Cleverly hidden entrances to vast tunnel systems were dotted around various parts of some of the mountains, clustered tightly together around a few select peaks. If a traveler were to find their way into one of these entrances, and manage their way through the miles of maze-like, winding tunnels, they would find that the mountain range held their own version of an oasis. A vast, lush fertile valley that was spared from the bitter cold of the mountain peaks, provided water from the melting snow, and protected from discovery from above thanks to the highest peaks being nearby.
It was here, and the tunnels and cave systems surrounding it, that a group of ponies had retreated to upon the fall of Nightmare Moon. The lunar-blessed ponies, in their blind trust of Luna, had been easily tricked by Nightmare into being her troops, fighting and killing in the name of their Goddess of the Night. No longer trusted, they withdrew from the world at large, biding and waiting their time for their true princess to return, their harsh lesson learned and kept sharp through the generations.
It was at the base of these particular cluster of mountains that a heavy buildup of static and magic had begun to fill the air. Occasional crackling could be heard, as whatever force was at work struggled to complete its task. While it had brought Tempest to Equestria, it had not accounted for any potential passengers, and was adapting to accommodate them. Magic was pulled out of the very air, all of it being pulled towards a sphere that shimmered just above the ground.
Minutes passed, the magic continued gravitating towards the sphere, immediately disappearing upon contact with it. Eventually, it reached its critical mass, disgorging its passengers with a mighty sound, loud enough that avalanches were triggered. The two hapless passengers were tossed a few feet, limbs tangled together, until they came to a stop with groans from each.
"Aw damn. This hurts," Brian groaned, eyes tightly shutting and teeth gritting a bit as he felt pain from locations that his mind simply had no translation for yet. "What, happened? We were in Tempest's bedroom, and then," Brian trailed off and opened his eyes, not quite ready to move just yet from where he laid atop his sister. His vision was blurry, each blink brought it closer and closer to coming back into focus.
Hooves feebly pushed against Brian's chest as Brianna groaned as well. "Brian, get off of me," she muttered, knowing it was him from his voice. The question of why she couldn't feel her extremities tickled the back of her mind as she kept pushing. "And, it was some weird bright light, that's what... are we dead?" Brianna questioned, eyes already opening, her vision clearing as well as the pain she was experiencing began to dull.
Vision starting to clear, Brian awkwardly tumbled to the side and off of his sister. "Yeowch!" A sharp spike of pain accompanied the tumble as he landed on something painfully, causing his roll to continue until he felt himself on his back, staring up at the sky, a field of blue that slowly came into focus. "I don't think so. More importantly, why does everything feel so off? And where the heck are we?"
There was a gasp from Brianna, her answer not forthcoming for several seconds. "I think I know why," she whispered, eyes wide as she stared at her brother. Moving an arm to her face, she felt around, and realized that it wasn’t just him. "We're horses? Maybe? You—" Brianna stopped dead in her speech as she watched something twitch at Brian's sides, a pair of wings flopping to the ground. "Wings," she choked out, lifting a hoof to point at him from her spot lying on the ground.
"You're shitting me," Brian stated in disbelief, before he looked over to Brianna, his vision clear. Crisper, too, even better than he'd ever recalled it being. "Messed up. That's what we are. You got them too, Bri," he stated, peering at her, oddly calm for some reason despite the seriousness of their situation. "We're both horses. With wings. And other, stuff," he remarked, waving a hoof in the air in a few circles.
Twisting her head around, Brianna noticed the increased flexibility even as she confirmed what he'd stated. "What the hell are we? Where are we? This isn't a bedroom." She gasped as a thought came to mind. "Tempest! Where is she?" she asked, looking around somewhat frantically. Brian joined her in looking around, but they were unable to see any other living creatures around besides themselves.
"I don't see her anywhere. It's just the two of us, Bri. Come on, let's see about," he paused, thinking. "I have no clue. I mean, yeah, sometimes I've read some fantasy level stuff, but um." He waved a hoof about once more, feeling the muscles move around before attempting to roll over to his belly.
Brianna had a slightly easier time of it, already on her belly. "Survive and stuff, yeah? If we're here, as odd horses with wings, then Tempest should be too, right? Just, focus on that. Gotta find her," she stated, using it to stave off the panic. Reaching out with a hoof, she started the process of trying to stand up.
About the same time Brianna had gotten to all four hooves, Brian had managed to roll over to rest on his belly. He looked at Brianna, to himself, and then back. If their status as identical twins had stuck, and from what he could observe of himself it seemed to be the case, then they truly were odd creatures. Slate grey fur covered their body and wings, their status as redheads safe given the reddish-brown shade to their manes and tail. Their ears had tufts of fur at the top, and he could see a glimpse of what appeared to be fangs through his sister's partially open mouth. Bright green eyes with slit pupils like a cat were the icing on the cake of their new appearance.
While he'd been looking at them both, Brianna had taken a first, hesitant step. "This feels so awkward, having hooves," she grumbled in annoyance, grimacing slightly. "Nothing feels right, either. Where are..." she trailed off, trying to correlate the new nerves with her altered body. Most of it was quick to snap into place, but a few things eluded her, until her wings spasmed. "Got ya. Although shit, they're small."
"Um, Bri? I think we're about to have company," Brian interjected, cutting off what she had been about to say. Squinting, he could make out a large group of creatures flying their way, too far out to distinguish exactly what they were, but the formation spoke to birds, or something else. Even as he tried to figure out which, he noticed they were coming in really fast. "And I don't think we've got all that much time, either. So."
"Shit."
Behind the disguised entrance of one of the tunnels on the mountain face, two ponies stood guard, rather bored out of their minds. Nothing ever happened at this particular entrance. No traffic, no snoopers, heck, not even any of the animals seemed to draw near it. One of the thestrals turned to his companion and sighed. "Hey, do you ever wonder why we're here?"
His companion, another thestral stallion, shrugged. "I don't know, I mean, we've revealed ourselves to Equestria again. Our princess is back and freed of the Nightmare. But, we're still here, in these tunnels and the valley, hidden away from the rest of Equestria. Why don't we just leave? Set up in a proper city? I mean, you've seen Canterlot, right? Everything there just looks so nice," he paused and then sighed.
"No, you dolt. I mean, do you ever wonder why we're here, guarding an entrance that hasn't been used in centuries when we could be doing just about anything else?" he retorted with a roll of his eyes. "It's a waste of our—" The stallion was cut off as a massive noise rattled their ears, even muffled as it was by the sealed entrance. The thick rock door promptly cracked open from an unknown force, an ominous rumbling noise followed shortly after as faint beams of light broke through the dimly lit interior. "Fall back!" he shouted to his companion as the door fell forward, fully exposing them.
They both quickly took flight, relying on their keen senses as thestrals to navigate the maze-like tunnel system within the mountain, their destination one of the strategically placed guardposts that hosted a response force. Weaving around any obstacles in their path, the two guards finally came to a section of tunnel where the light, although dim, became visible once more.
Coming in with a quick landing, the front guard threw up a quick salute, having found his composition during the flight. "Sir! Unknown concussive attack at our posting. It blew the door right off," he reported to the sentry, who immediately sounded the alarm. A host of ponies began to assemble in response to the high-pitched wail, already on alert from the rumblings that could still be felt from the avalanches cascading heavily down the mountain slopes.
In less than a minute, a group of armored ponies were ready to go. They all wore the same armor as those who guarded their Queen of the Night but with a single difference. The faded black metal lent itself well to keeping the wearer hidden in the dark and shadows. Although assembled, they did not depart just yet, instead all of their eyes were on a unicorn who walked to their front.
Unlike normal unicorns, this stallion's ears were tufted, slit pupils gazing over his troops, and his obsidian horn longer, without the grooves normal to his kind, ending in a sharp point. Captain Night Flare looked over his assembled troops, a look of anticipation in his yellow eyes. It was moments like this that he lived for, this and blowing things up in new ways with his magic. Shifting his black armor with his rank insignias on each shoulder, he felt his deep red, short cropped mane rub against the inside of his helmet as he cleared his throat to address his troops.
"Guards! None of the wards have been tripped, so here's how we're going to play this out! Squads Bravo and Delta, remain here. If any of the wards trip, you are to reinforce us after forwarding notice to headquarters. Alpha, Charlie, you're with me! Recon first, should we encounter anything hostile, fall back so we can determine the best approach. This is not a drill, soldiers!" With one last look over the assembled ponies, he sharply nodded. "Move out! Two of you, to me. I'm coming along."
The ponies began moving, two lower ranking thestrals moving to Night Flare's sides and grabbed ahold of his armor. With a nod, they began to fly in time with each other, slowly lifting the unicorn up before moving forward, the other two squads already leading the way.
By the time they arrived at the breached entrance, it was pitch black and cold. The rumbling of the avalanche had finally died out, leaving snow and some rock debris covering the entrance, along with a fair bit settling into the cave. After being set down, Night Flare walked forward towards the blockage, examining it with a critical eye. "Whatever it was came from outside the mountain. Only one way to find out," he muttered as his horn started to glow with a flame red aura.
"Guards, stand back. I'm going to blast our way out of here!" he barked as his aura coalesced into a single point at the tip of his horn. As the thestrals fell back, he grinned and lowered his head until his horn was pointed to the blockage. "Prepare for blastback! Three, two, one," he counted down, and instead of saying zero, he released the spell that had been building. The single point traveled forward, until it made contact with an obstruction, expanding into a fireball that kept its forward momentum. Even as wind from the blastback hit all of the ponies in the tunnel, the snow turned into steam and the lingering heat in the air melted any snow that dropped into the now open exit from the mountain.
Holding up his hoof, Night Flare chuckled. "Hold half a minute, then move forward, standard flying formation soldiers. Be prepared to handle anything that might come say hi after that blast," he added with amusement. While they waited, nothing came, and finally he gave the order to move forward. Once more he was lifted into the air, and they set out into the daylight.
Immediately, every pair of eyes roamed around for potential threats, even as Night Flare pointed with a hoof. The displacement of two individuals created a rather large magical anomaly that lingered, obvious only to him. "That direction, carefully," he ordered, the entire flight shifting direction to come in from above to scout first. Flare squinted, noticing two figures below which he was quite certain were thestrals. "We didn't get any reports about anypony out in this sector," he muttered under his breath, horn tingling at the wrongness of the magic below.
Meanwhile, Brianna and Brian were gazing up to the approaching force, both flat on their flank from a very short-lived attempt to be anywhere but where they currently were. "Crap, we're so screwed," Brian muttered, getting awkwardly back to his hooves as he looked at Brianna. "Sis? You've been a massive pain in the ass. Wouldn't have it any other way, though," he spoke, noticing that she was looking up to the sky still.
"They look like we do. Just in armor, I think?" Brianna stated, bringing up a hoof to block to sun from her face as she tried to get a better look. "Yeah. Some of them have weapons, too. So, um. Maybe we're not screwed? Anymore than we already are, anyways. I just hope Tempest is okay, wherever she is," she finished, trailing off.
They simply sat there while the thestrals descended to their position, both pairs of eyes following the thirty or so ponies. "One of em's different, though. No wings, it looks like. And he's staring right at me now, Bri," Brian spoke, turning his gaze away from the unicorn to his sister. "His gaze... reminds me of that one hardass teacher we had, that old nag that'd stare into your soul," he muttered, unnerved.
It didn't take more than a few minutes before they landed in front of them, a few thestrals remaining airborne just in case. Captain Night Flare walked up to them both with a commanding gaze that caused them to shrink back underneath it. The horn that lit with a deep red aura made them curious, however, even as the Captain frowned. "What sort of magic did the two of you get wrapped up into?" he harshly questioned, taking a step towards them.
"M-magic?" Brian stuttered out, looking from the Captain to Brianna. "I guess if ending up a horse is possible.”
"Then magic is real? I guess, Brian," she answered, looking to the Captain. "Just, where are we, mean horse guy?" she questioned, grimacing a bit.
"What?" Night Flare answered after a few seconds, caught off guard. Feeling things out with his magic, he realized these two before him were most likely the cause of the disturbance that had caused the avalanches, something felt wrong about these two. "Hold still, the both of you," he ordered, getting hesitant nods in return.
Lighting his horn, Night Flare carefully probed at the surface thoughts of Brian first. A pressure grew in Brian's mind in response to it. "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" Brian questioned, grimacing and forcing his eyes closed, not enjoying the sensation of what felt like having his head in a vice that was slightly too tight. It went on for only a few seconds, but Night Flare learned everything that he needed to know.
"What the hell are you doing with, that," Brianna challenged him as he turned to face her next, face determined. Night Flare wasn't a fan of using such magic on his fellow ponies, but in this case it was a necessity. As Brianna's brain received that odd, vice-like sensation next, Night Flare gave the signal for his ponies to stand down. "Uugh," Brianna groaned, a hoof moving to hold her head.
"I apologize, but it was the only way to know. I dislike using such magic on ponies, under normal circumstances," Night Flare remarked, taking a seat in front of them. "Tell me, young ones, what are your names? And do you have any idea of where it is you are?" he enquired, looking between them both.
Having had a chance to recover from having his surface thoughts ripped out, Brian shook his head. "Not one bit, we woke up as these, whatever you are. I'm Brian, and that's my sister, Brianna. Who and what the heck are you?" he questioned, a bit of annoyance in his words after getting the idea that the stallion didn't mean them any harm. "And where the hell are we?"
"What he said," Brianna groaned, lifting her head up enough to glare at the stallion. Her mind was going through all manner of dirty and nasty pranks that could be played on him, giving her satisfaction, if only in thought.
"Night Flare, Captain in the Hidden Valley's guard. The two of you seem to have been caught up in a rather strong, somewhat chaotic magical event," he explained, carefully noting their reactions. "I need you two to tell me what you think you are. I gleamed that you both believe that neither of you should be a thestral, yes?"
"You read our fricken' mind?" Brian asked, blinking a few times in disbelief. "And yeah, we're not supposed to be, thestrals?" he slowly asked, not sure if he had the pronunciation right.
Brianna stepped in, wings subconsciously twitching in a bit of nerves and anger together as she imagined a big bucket of egg yolk soaking Night Flare. "We're supposed to be humans. Cept, bright light, weird feeling, get thrown about and poof. We're messed up thestrals."
Turning to the nearby thestral, Night Flare sighed. "Looks like they're Discorded, and heavily. Take Charlie back and report in that we'll be bringing in two Discorded thestrals," he quietly ordered, the pony giving a nod in response. "Bad case of it, too, not a single surface thought was... right. We'll be along behind you in a bit."
As the thestral gathered up the squad in question, Brianna jumped back in, both of them having heard every word of the conversation thanks to their heightened hearing. "The hell's 'Discorded' mean? The only thing 'wrong' about us is that we're not supposed to be like you- them," she corrected. "And, if you squeeze my brain again, I'm gonna make you regret it, mister," she threatened, muzzle scrunching in anger.
Night Flare’s booming laughter filled the air for a few seconds, taking Brianna by surprise. "Maybe not all is wrong, there's that fierceness we've come to expect from our young," he remarked with amusement. "The answer to your question, however, should explain everything about the situation the two of you find yourselves in. Don't worry though, we'll help you both get used to how your life should have been."
"You can find us a way home? Cause that'd be awesome, but one of our friends should also be around here, somewhere," Brian replied, somewhat hopefully. "She's, I don't know where she is. We didn't see a single sign of her anywhere. How can you get us back, though?"
Sighing, Night Flare shook his head. "Lad, Lass. Discorded... About two years back, the avatar of chaos incarnate broke free of his prison and caused a world of issues across the country," he started to explain, looking for any signs of recognition as he told the story. "Discord is the monster's name, and he took everything and turned it on its head. The damn thing even stopped by here, despite how, reclusive Hidden Valley is," he continued.
"Still don't see what that has to do with us. Like I said, bright light, big flash, then boom, here. Hell, we don't even have magic where we're from," Brianna cut him off, rolling her eyes, a rather comical look with how massive they now where.
"Lass, I'm getting there. Now, a few of us went after him, some of the younger recruits with a few of the instructors," Night Flare continued, giving Brianna a short glare. "He did something to them all, to you all, with his magic. Traces of which I think are still on you both. Hard to tell, it's nasty stuff, like having a migraine and the worst cold one can have all in one." His horn lit up, merely tickling the twins this time. "And it's pretty much gone now, it was clinging pretty tightly to you. All the others have been slowly reappearing, each one believing they're someone, and something else entirely."
Snorting in annoyance, Brian and Brianna both shook their heads. "No way," they both said together. "I think we'd know if something was screwy with our head. Then again, we are weird things, with small wings that can apparently fly, and we're talking to another one that uses magic," Brian continued. "Still not buying it though."
Shrugging, Night Flare looked them both over. "Didn't expect you to, but we need to get you back to the valley, so we can start you both towards a normal life again. I don't know why they let that damn monster roam free," he muttered underneath his breath afterwards. "Can either of you remember how to fly? Doubtful, but better to ask before ordering my troops to grab you both."
"Do we get a say in the matter?" Brianna asked before shaking her head. "Or is this one of those 'come with us, or we'll take you with us' sort of things? I've seen enough movies and tv shows to know the answer to that one already though," she grumbled, crossing her forehooves in annoyance.
With utmost patience, Night Flare shook his head. "No, you don't, but we don't intend you any harm. We'll bring you back, get you some food, and start teaching you. Beginning with flight. Now, are the two of you ready?"
Looking to one another, Brian and Brianna both slowly nodded, not seeing any way out of their current predicament. "Yeah. We guess."
"Excellent. Trust us to keep you safe, it'll be a somewhat long flight," Night Flare warned them, rubbing at his brow. He'd hoped that they'd seen the last of their Discorded kin, but it seemed it was to be the gift that kept on giving.
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Interesting, an update.
Well, a warmer welcome than that of Tempest. Treating them for being discorded isn't going to be very successfull, though.
Yes!! Its back!
its back and got featured ok cool.
7714581
Meant to address this awhile back, so here goes now.
Luna's actions, and their repercussions, will take a front seat for a short time, yes. While the story is focused heavily on Tempest and the Twins, because I am doing the scenario of Tempest as Nightmare Moon, it's inevitable that Luna herself come into focus for a time. After all, she no doubt has some heavy baggage from it all, and perhaps, just maybe, she'll come out of this a better mare while she rides along.
Never fear though, I do not intend on her hogging the spotlight. It's just inevitable she come into focus from time to time while issues are addressed periodically.
7814572 7814688 7814734 Indeed. I am curious as to what you all think of the newest chapter, when you have the time to read it. It is meant to set the tone for the twin's time for awhile.
7814685 I needed some way to play off them not having to hide who they are, without doing anything cliche, such as amnesia for a time, or such. So, the notion of being Discorded was born for this story. Hope you liked the chapter.
7814848 I feel bad for those threstals and hopefully they won't try to medal with Brian and Brianna's heads. Honestly I expect the three's reunion to be interesting.
I'm really tempted to insult Night Flare's intelligence. I think it's obvious that they're not supposed to be thestrals and that they're telling the truth about who they are and what they should be.
7814900 Is it really so farfetched that Discord could have seriously jacked up quite a few ponies, scrambled their brains a lot, and then set them to periodically reappear? Chaos Incarnate could be quite capable of that, and I wanted to retain the whole 'They're human as ponies' element without them ending up in a loony bin, it being questioned deeply, or removing that element and giving them amnesia. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, well... must be a duck, right? They have no way to know for certain that these two are indeed the exception to the fallout they've been dealing with from Discord's time of freedom.
That clarify things a bit?
7814886 Their reunion will be quite the occasion, it's already planned out. I imagine people will enjoy it.
i can't quie place it, but something about these 2 seems familiar....
7814848 Oh yes, i liked the chapter. The twins now can talk all they want about home and none is going to take them serious for a while. From that point of view, creative idea with the discordisation.
7815011 Do you truly think so? I do have the story tagged Dark so I can go to a few extremes, but I do not think Luna's reaction is completely out of character here. After all, you have in Luna a mare who lost 1,000 years of her life to this entity that suddenly had physical form as far as she knew. Add to those lost years all the stress of having to acclimate to a world in which the only thing that is the same is your sister, and no doubt even Celestia has changed in a thousand years, and it is very likely that in her mix of emotions, hatred and rage would win out in some attempt to have the true revenge and justice against 'Nightmare Moon' that she feels she deserves, for closure if nothing else. Although, I did keep it very brief as far as Luna's rashness goes, but I feel it is a rather justifiable reaction, if on the further end of aggressive acts she could have taken.
7815022 As I was writing and trying to figure out how to best get that section started, for some reason that bit of Red vs Blue came to mind, and I found that it easily molded itself to the situation at hand. So, I went with it. Helped ease me into the rest of the chapter from that point on.
7815035 Eh that comment was actually influenced by the next chapter when her injuries were evident and while justifiable in a cruel sense, it still remains to see why Twilight never stopped her before the injuries could escalate beyond the first tree is abit meh. (shock only goes so far)
Interesting the thestrals think they are Discorded.
My only question is, don't they have some sort of census and citizen registry though would have checked to see if there were more missing ponies around?
7815088 That has been accounted for in a future chapter. It'll go into more detail during the next chapter with the twins in it.
7815085 Yeah, needed a good, logical reason for them to not raise every red flag possible when they claimed to be humans. It would have put a massive crimp on the plot's outline.
7815132 It's going to entertaining. Them saying they were humans and it being dismissed.
7814848
I'll have to reread the whole thing.
S' not easy to hold over(according to FF) 20 million words in just one mind.
Hi Spacecowbow. This has got an interesting premise and I'm glad to see this finally getting updated again.
Just FYI, I think Brian and Brianna are forgetting something....they should be asking "where's Tempest?"...
To their frame of reference, it would make sense that whatever brought the twins there, it might have grabbed Tempest, too. If so, then obviously she got separated from them, possibly been buried by the avalanche that knocked them about for a bit.
dude awersome update, I am also waiting an update on your other stories (overcoming the day and along comes twilight)
Heheheheehe RVB way to go XD
This. All of it.
I need more.
7815144 Yeah. Just needed to buy some time before everyone realized that, just maybe, the two of them are telling the truth. Hopefully you enjoy it.
7815168 Which is why I said when you get around to it, lol. I do know the feeling, I've been in an extreme reading and writing kick now, think I had one day where I binged on something like 600,000 words?
7815245 It did come up once or twice, and will continue to do so, but they also have to consider themselves. I won't have them forgetting Tempest though! Their life might be getting a tad turbulent, though. Been working on the creation of an entire society, of which they're being thrown into.
7815452 Glad you liked it. For now, this is the story I am focusing on. My goal is to get out two more updates before the new year, and then methodically work one by one to bring the incomplete to a complete state.
7815847 Working on it. Bout to sit down and start on the next chapter.
7815492 Yeah, Quoted the other fellow earlier, but it really helped me ease into the rest of the chapter, as it was slow going before then once I hit the transition to the thestral guards.
7815883
Great minds read alike?
7815883 There are almost if not no other Nightmare Moon stories similar to this that I enjoy as much as this.
It continues! Hooray!
Also, interesting threstle-unicorn hybrid thingy.
Is this an early Christmas present? Maybe another one on Christmas day? That would be nice.
7814848
What do I think of it, you ask?
I noticed some grammatical mistakes in this and some previous chapters, didn't save or point them out due to being on mobile.
As for the chapter itself, it's an interesting development, didn't expect thestrals to actually be "hidden"(so to speak), moreso by their own volition.
I did not like the semi-mind reading part, that said, I kinda hope that what Night Flare said is actually true(and as it seems from the chapters before this one, it very well may be).
7816872 Yeah, I've been quite light on the editing lately, this latest chapter did have eyes on it, but he himself is out of shape. Both of us, really, me as a writer and him as an editor, but hopefully nothing too badly that breaks the flow slipped past us.
As for the semi mind-reading, partially a fault of mine, since I am actually still developing each tribe of Lunar-Blessed ponies (I believe that will ultimately be how they are described). We'll get to see more of their society with each visit to the twins, though, and I'm hoping to present something that is both fascinating and plausible. I figure the mind stuff is more mind-skimming of surface thoughts only, which helps to greatly limit its usefulness.
Anyways, thanks for the feedback, I hope you continue to find the story interesting.
I enjoyed this chapter except for the mind rape.
Could have worked without that.
7818705 What's a little mind rape between complete strangers?
7816918 so, are you planning on updating this frequently now, or is it going to be sporadic? I'm fine with either, just curious.
7819371 Next chapter is being a bit feisty in finding a good way to open, but I've gotten a few hundred words towards the next chapter. An update every week or two is currently my goal though.
7819479 Great, looking forward to it. :)
I should hate this story. It's just so well thought out with such a rich setting, I can't help but love it. Though the twins are pretty much stock snarky humans. Would like to see more in-depth who they are.
7824668 Thanks for the kind words, glad that you enjoyed it. And yeah, the twins will get some development, but Tempest is sort of getting the largest amount of time... as more chapters come out focused on them, though, I hope to develop them further and show more than stock snark. Speaking of... time to do some writing.
7824738
Well sure, it'd be nice if you wrote more about her too. Good luck!
Oh no, this looks to be a box canyon. I know where this is going.
The twins seem to be in a but if a bind and exestential crisis. What if their whole life was just imaged?
7825761 What if, right? Not gonna be answering that one for a long time to come, either. I hope folks keep wondering~ Also, Skype me sometime.
This. I like this.
7825829
I haven't opened up Skype in months. Moved over to Discord since it doesn't seem to crash or slow down as much. I heard you, ReFro, and Kharakian have been playing ESO and I am willing to give it a try.
7834938 Yeah, my current thought is that the black-splotch would change into storm clouds behind the crescent. I just had a thought though. Since Nightmaremoon was originally Luna's dark-side, does that make Tempest Luna's biological daughter?
I liked them to so far and I'm atually interessted in them, but god do I hate it if that happens, nearly as much as in storys where they give you a backflash every second chapter.
I don't exactly needed to see the same moment from the guards POV, they are probably not that important later anyway.
I know they believe they are really right and would either cure them, or just show them how to live, but this always makes me a bit angry if they don't have a choiche. There would still be no reason for them not to do what they want I think, since the Captain hasn't said that it would be dangerous around the place they are or something like that.
Well it was good read anyway, I hope they at least give them their freedom after being sure that they an care for each other, and not forcing two confused people to live where they don't want to live. Not that he is really thinking that they would have to wait there till their princess is about to arrive.
Nice story anyway.
Press hold on the phone. You already have my attention by Luna getting violent, but now you are adding mystery and a slight twist? There is an error here, and you need more chapters to fix it. yes , more chapters are required.
Not sure if someone mentioned it yet, but that Red vs Blue reference was perfect.
We are still patiently waiting for the next chapter while monotonously starring into the monitor
Man, these ponies sure can be so mean to poor little kids that just want to go home
Ok, so it looks like either this is Discord's doing, or something else entirely and Discord is getting blamed.
I wonder how the three are going to met, and if Discord is going to forever be blamed for it.
Another thought, will they be broken? It's possible they'll be broken. By broken, I mean they will eventually believe they were Discorded and sent off. Believe they were never human.
I love this story so far and I hope its not dead. It stories like this that I like to read. A mix of comedy and others things like refrences. Well I am going to hope for more chapters soon.
7815883
you still writing this or is it gone to the great beyond