• Member Since 5th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 20th, 2021

Spacecowboy


Story Approver and formerly sometimes writer. PM me if you have a Story-related question.

T
Source

Celestia has become emotionally withdrawn and disconnected from her little ponies. The imprisonment of Luna compounded with the constant loss of any who got close to her, she has forgotten how to connect with another pony. Until a small, injured filly who is equally distant after the loss of her parents stumbles into Celestia's life. Now, both ponies will help the other heal and rediscover once more what it truly means to be a pony.

A 'Mommylestia' story, the concept of which has been in my head for some months. I will be sticking rather close to canon for events, the major differences are that Twilight's parents are dead, and Shining Armor is a few years older and already dating Cadance at the time of this incident. I plan to keep mostly everything else the same.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 642 )

2935599

It's out. He's been working on this for over a week, I think.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I've seen a couple fics that have Momlestia and Twilight, but is the first time I've seen one that Twi is adopted before she takes the test. I look forward to seeing where you takes, and how Celestia will open up.

2935603
Ah...

I think this makes story #3 i've faved, spacecowboy. That means you get +1 follower.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935406
Always nabbing that first comment, even before the story comes out. : p

2935629
Yeah, it's something that I'm looking forward to. There's a lot of unexplored potential with the Twilight/Celestia mother/daughter relation, and I hope to entertain you as I move forward with the story. Thanks for the favorite and view, and hope to see you when I update this next. : )

2935637
Lol, glad you enjoy my stories. Thanks for the Follow as well, much appreciated.

2935645
There is a group dedicated to Momlestia and at the moment it has 21 fics for Twilight

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935670
Interesting to know, wasn't aware of it I don't think. Guess I should say that there's still some unexplored potential then? I know I've read a few, but none of them were that great or stuck out in my mind, truthfully. And of the adopted bit, very few of them out there.

2935684
So far yours is the only I know of that she is adopted before the test and the SRB.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935690
Cool, that's good to know. I've already got the events around that laid out, and I'm actually looking forward to it. This idea has been pounding on my noggin for months, it's nice to finally get it out.

Also, as I move forward, feel free to not hold any punches, love having folks give me their opinion on what is being done wrong.

2935711
Alright, just remember I am a Celestia fan and I do get protective of her. So if you mess up on her you may just hear about it

Mark my words, good things will come of this story. It's only the first chapter and it's already really good! :pinkiehappy:

that part with the horn make since. twilights horn is smaller than other unicorn mares.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935789
Thanks, glad you liked it. Looking forward to writing this.

2935798
We shall see. : ) Hope you enjoyed it.

Good start, mommylestia always just seemed so right to me. Glad to know you got this all figured out.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935840
Yeah, it's the main turnaway when folks see a romantic Twilight x Celestia relationship. There's hints at a more maternal bond between them during the show, even taking in the skin level callousness Celestia has for sending Twilight off on multiple things that are life threatening. But, it's a great relation to explore.

2935851
I actually enjoy Twilistia stories very much actually, it's pretty much my favourite pairing. Seeing other kinds of relationships between them is nice though.

Ah... Mommylestia and Twilight. I love these. Good start! :twilightsmile:

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935866
More of a TwiLuna fan myself, but I do enjoy a well written TwiLestia romance as well. The writer just has to do a good job with it to me for it to be a successful and good read.

2935879
Thanks, hope you'll enjoy it as I move forward.

2935895
True, and I love Twiluna as well. Though it always turns into a Twilunelestia in my head when I think about it.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935924
Dynamics of a TwiLunEstia is rough. Hard to pull off, but so much fun to read. Also needs to be the focus of a story for it to be properly done. Princesses are best.

2935950
I'm a firm believer of Princest in wincest, and I plan to shove a whole lot of it on this site.

The quality though, is a whole other matter. We'll see.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2935989
I'll be watching. For the Princest that is.

2935999
I'm not going to do those until I have a bit more experience actually, though I thank you for the watch! Very kind of you.:twilightsmile:

First off...Omg my first comment on fimficton!!! YAY:twilightsmile: Also I love these types of stories or more or less any fic that shows any relationship between celestia and twilight. I dont know if its weird or not but ever since I read my first fanfic ( Device Heritic's Eternal) i can see twilight and celestia in any type of relationship and fully approve most of those types of stories. :twilightblush::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile::trollestia::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss::rainbowhuh::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowderp::pinkiesmile::pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::ajsmug: and for the grammer nazis who read this EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT WITH MY HORRIBLE GRAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway keep this story going.:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

Ugh, now I have to favourite another story of yours for having an awesome concept that I just happen to love.

Oh, and I can only think of... two other Twilight adoption fanfics - there was that recent one which I kind of lost interest in towards the end when it was all 'filly Element Bearers yay' and the other's a Roseluck/Twilight shipfic. You're definitely not beating a dead horse here, as far as I know.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936154
Lol, here's my arm, twist it! Seriously though, glad to have you reading another one of my stories.

Honestly, of the two you mentioned, passed on the latter. The former was something I read, and lost interest in as well. Was the seedling of this idea here. There's needs to be more than just 'oh, this filly here, must adopt!' So, I've put forth a premise that (unless I totally fuck it up, which is possible) should provide a deeper level of a relationship. As far as meeting any bearers, probably isn't going to happen. Sticking as close to canon as possible, per my note.

2936154
The 'filly Element Bearers yay' one is probably The Sun and Her Little Sparkle.
Hm, I'm starting to sense a theme here...:pinkiecrazy:

2936171 That sounds really good to me, and going by your other stories I can't really see you fucking this up; especially if you've got it planned out already. I also approve of you sticking to canon events and not throwing in other ponies for no particular reason.

2936179 Yeah, that's the one. I lost all interest in that one when it randomly stopped being all about Twilight and Celestia and had that random Luna redemption towards the end.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936179
Yup.
And what theme? If you think there's any, then...
matthershberger.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/aliens-meme.jpg

2936219
Glad you think so!

2936233
I can be doubtful of myself though, right? I do plan on mentioning Luna, but it's going to be done in a rather... feels loaded manner. All I'll say on the matter though. No early redemption junk.

2936250
Pretty much the 'dark-comes-up-with-an-idea-only-to-have-it-executed-much-much-better-by-spacecowboy' theme.
Don't get me wrong, this is not an accusation of plagiarism or something like that, if it should come over as it. Merely a curiosity I took note of, even though it's not really that much of a surprise--I think you said yourself that dark does have good ideas, but his execution is incredibly sloppy.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936262
My mind gets a lot of ideas. A lot do come from stories that are poorly executed too. I still have a document with... *runs off to check* 20 or so concepts in it. Including a FF X structured story. Dark did sort of contribute to two of the ideas, both of which are now published. Pure coincidence that it's been two of the last three published works I've put out, I suppose. Suppose I should state that I'm aware you're not accusing, just pointing out the connection. I'll admit it's there.

Not bad.

I don't really get the "becoming distant" thing though. She seemed pretty on top of things to me. It kinda seems like she just randomly decided "Yeah, I'm too distant" without any real showing of just how distant she is.

Anyways, liking and faving.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936355
Yeah, that was a failing of this hook, I'll openly admit that. I think the only way I could've better conveyed it would've been through a lot of exposition, which probably would've detracted from the rest. Something I'll be better clarifying as I move forward, it'll become truly noticeable once I get some Cadance interaction going on, without giving away too much.

dis gon b gud i cun tel bye da ferst chapta:pinkiehappy:

2936370

Sounds good. You're one of my fave authors on the site, so I'll be watching this with interest.

2936355 I dunno, the whole way Celestia started playing chess with Twilight's life before she even looked at her conveyed it pretty effectively.

2936390

Yeah, I suppose.

But she also seemed pretty caring when she nearly blew up her office in horrified outrage when she found out that her ponies were killed.

I dunno. The hook was there, but I still think that it could have been executed better.

this is probably me being a moron, but I can't help but think that this was just a little bit inspired by my story- or perhaps a concept or two borrowed. I haven't read this one yet, since I'm just passing by, but It looks good.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936431 See my comment 2936318. It played some part in it I'll openly admit, but it's one of two or three concepts I have with Twilight being her daughter. This is the only via adoption one I have though. More of my ideas were calling to be written, and TwiLestia (in any form) has been weighing heavier on my mind. The one shot I put out earlier this week wasn't enough to satisfy my desires, so this formed.

2936420>>2936390
Drynwhyl, while that part did convey some of it, Pearple is right in that I had a shortcoming or two that did take away from the full impact of it all. I didn't stress the fact that Celestia never addressed a pony by name until Twilight (which was originally a large part of stressing the whole disconnect) among a few other things. So, it's not clearly defined, even with that one part being considered 'obvious' to see.

2936477 You're right, yeah. I actually played off the 'angry explosion' thing as her being personally affronted by the fact that someone would attack something of hers (what with how she says it and whatnot), but that likely wasn't your intention now that you both mention it.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936517
It's meant to be interpreted however, truthfully, but I did have the slight impression of her being pissed at both her ponies being killed (note the verbage) and that she saw them a pinch as not so much possessions, but hers. Full clarity is what's missing, really. Still it works as a hook, and moving forward I just need to be a pinch more careful.

A favourite subject of mine, that. Eager to see how this develops.

I like the momlestia premise. And this story has a nice enough start. I'll be following this for later chapters. Good luck! <3

Sometime later, she came to a pause, noting a faint pull. Celestia looked around and saw the entrance to the castle’s hospital located directly in front of her and entered moments later. There was somepony powerful nearby, and it wasn't Cadance, which left Celestia curious.

The pacing of this part is way off compared to the rest. Maybe elaborate on Celestia feeling this 'pull'?

You could easily make this 2 paragraphs.

Comment posted by Myrandall deleted Jul 26th, 2013

I like this story :pinkiehappy:
cant wait for more.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

2936572>>2936632
Thank you very much. Hopefully I don't botch it, always a fear of mine.

2936876
I'm thinking on the proper ways to move forward. Don't wanna botch it.

2936703
While it could have possibly used some slight rewording and restructuring for that paragraph, I don't think it needed a second paragraph. Still, I'll make a note and look at it with fresh eyes in a few days and see if it works best with 1 or 2 paragraphs. I've been staring at it for far too long right now to really make a decision either way. Thanks for the input. : )

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