Chapter 6 - Two Powers Meet
A sigh of relief escaped Celestia's lips as the last petitioner exited her throne room, signaling the end of court. She had been anxious to meet Twilight now that she was awake; but meetings and court had eaten into her time. Celestia had thought about cancelling Day Court once more, but three days in a row was slightly excessive and no doubt questions would be raised if it had happened.
Celestia set off for the hospital at once, stretching her hooves and enjoying the cool air within the castle. From what Cadance had told her in the morning, Twilight was aware of the circumstances behind both her parent's death and her injuries; she was unable to remember the specific memories though. Hopefully she'll not have to deal with it until she's much older and better able to handle such an event.
Not only that, but apparently her meeting Cadance had gone over better than Celestia had hoped. The young filly took to her brother's fillyfriend in an instant; Cadance was utterly smitten with Twilight as well. This bodes well for the future, as Twilight is still unaware of who will be in charge of looking after her... I'm glad I made the decision to have Cadance do so, this will greatly help her when it reappears.
Guards snapped to attention and smartly saluted her as Celestia continued through the corriors on her way to the hospital. Underneath their military bearing, each guard seemed more cheerful than normal, as if today were a special day, Celestia noted. Unknown to her, a smile was shining brightly from her face; her typical mask gone.
As she entered the reception area, a unicorn stallion dressed in a doctor's coat greeted her. "Welcome back, Princess. I presume you're here to see Twilight?" He politely inquired.
"Yes, I finally had some free time in my schedule to stop by and hopefully speak with her." Celestia paused, another thought coming to her mind. "Tell me, Doctor..." she trailed off, realizing that his name was unknown to her.
"It's Doctor Stable, Princess. She is awake and able to take visitors, although her brother is with her. He hasn't really left since he arrived; that's one dedicated brother." Stable spoke admiringly of Shining, rather impressed with his attitude and devotion shown to Twilight.
"Thank you, Doctor Stable. I would like to know, how are her injuries healing? I need to schedule something that is important to them both; it relies heavily upon whether Twilight will be capable of leaving the hospital." After all, one cannot have a funeral without family in attendance. The dead can wait for the living. It may hurt up front, but it will go a long way to hopefully letting them both heal. Cadance needs a strong individual by her side, and this will make an important life lesson.
Stable pulled one of the files from behind the desk and began to look through the hooffull of pages present. "Well, Princess, it would appear that the lacerations she suffered are healing up well, the stitches should be coming out tomorrow morning it seems. Her coat will still have to regrow from where we had to remove it to treat her; that's easily remedied with a spell however. The only real thing of note is the damage to her horn. That is some cause for concern, as there's a chance that it won't heal properly and will partially block her magic flow when she begins casting." Stable finished referencing the charts, returning them back to their place behind the desk.
"I see. Can I correctly assume that once the stitches are removed, she'll be well enough to leave inpatient care? I know that her horn's condition will require regular check-ups, but that's easily accomplished with frequent visits." Celestia confidently spoke, drawing upon her vast knowledge to come to the same assessment Stable would have given her.
"Correct, Princess, if I didn't know any better I'd say you've had your fair share of experience in this field." Stable paused as Celestia gave him a deadpan look, causing him to lightly chuckle to himself. "We'll probably release her early afternoon, just to be on the safe side of things."
"Thank you for the information, Doctor." Celestia slightly nodded her head as she turned towards the patient wing. "I'll be heading to her room now, good day." Stable acknowledged her dismissal with a quick bow of his head before returning to work.
Celestia quickly trotted her way through the hallway, coming to a halt before a door that stood ajar, voices coming from within. She quietly heard a male's voice talking and decided to listen in so as to not interrupt anything.
"I'm so glad that you like Cadance, Twily. She's really a nice mare, and even promised to keep an eye on you while I'm training to be a guard!" Shining's voice reached Celestia's ears, his voice filled with happiness.
Deciding that nothing too important was being discussed, Celestia firmly rapped a hoof against the doorframe. Twilight's eyes caught hers and considerably widened as Shining simply called out to her. "Come on in, Doc."
Celestia let out a small laugh, causing Shining's head to violently whip around to see who had entered the room. Stuttering, he tried jumping off the chair to his hooves to bow before her, but only ended up in a heap on the floor. "Please, relax and take your seat, I'm only here to see how your sister is doing." Celestia said, keeping the laughter within her.
"Y-You're Princess Celestia!" Twilight gushed, a hoof pointed towards her and a wide smile on her face. "I get to meet the princess, yes! Yes! Yes!" Celestia couldn't help but laugh as Shining looked on, mortified.
"Why yes, I do believe I am Princess Celestia, little one. You're Twilight, right?" Celestia gently spoke; and she used a small amount of magic to help Shining to his hooves. Twilight excitedly nodded her head up and down in confirmation. "It's nice to meet you, little one. Your brother has told me a few things about you."
Shining, thoroughly humiliated, quietly regained his seat and faced the newest arrival to the room. "Good afternoon, Princess." He respectfully spoke, cheeks thoroughly flushed crimson.
"A good afternoon to you as well, Shining." Celestia returned her focus to Twilight, "I'm truly sorry for your loss, Twilight. It's always a shame when somepony, especially parents, are taken from us before their time." she pulled the chair from the corner of the room and brought it before the bed next to Shining and took a seat.
Twilight's head sunk a little after Celestia's words, her initial shock of meeting the princess overwritten by her depression. "I miss them..." she muttered, tears forming in her eyes. Celestia looked on, hesitating slightly before reaching out with a hoof and resting it on Twilight's withers.
"I can imagine, Twilight. However, I do have some good news to share with you, if you'd like to hear it." Celestia reassuringly spoke, doing her best to deal with what was an awkward situation to her.
Twilight sniffed even as Shining grasped her hoof with his, nodding her head. Tears were now matting her face, and he brought a cloth to her face and dabbed them away.
"Well, I understand you've already met my niece, Cadance." Twilight quickly nodded her head, her mood lightening a little.
"She's very nice, we even made up a little ditty between each other!" she exuberantly exclaimed, the faintest hint of a smile turning her frown around.
"Yes, she is, isn't she? Well, what if I told you that, instead of having to go to an orphanage, you could stay in the castle? With Cadance watching you most of the time?" Twilight's eyes widened at every sentence, joy returning to them even as the tears continued to pour forth.
"Yup, she means it, Twily," Shining chimed in, "I'd be around as much as I can, but I want to join the guard even more, now..." he trailed off, a distant look in his eyes for a moment, "Cadance would be there anytime I couldn't be though." Shining grunted slightly as Twilight nearly crushed his hoof with her smaller one.
"Really? That'd be awesome, and I'd get to spend time with Cadance!" Twilight was positively beaming now, her earlier sadness all but forgotten for the moment. "What about if she wouldn't be around, though? And where's the closest library at?"
A library? Now that's somewhat unexpected... She's also fairly mature, given her young age. I wonder just how much reading she does... Celestia quietly thought to herself, a smile on her face. "Well, we actually have a library here in the castle. And if Cadance was busy, I might be the one to watch over you for awhile."
If Twilight's earlier reactions had been considered slightly over the top, at the notion of Celestia being the one watching her, she positively exploded. "Yes yes yes yes! I gotta keep reading if I wanna be just like you, Princess!"
Celestia arched an eyebrow and looked at Twilight. "Just like me? You really flatter me, I must say!" Celestia exaggerated her words, doing her best to ensure the good mood continued. "Might I ask what would inspire such a great filly to want to be just like me?"
"Uh huh! Mommy," her voice momentarily dropped as she continued speaking, "brought me to the Summer Sun Festival last year! When you raised the sun, I decided to be just like you! So, I gotta read as much as I can so that when I can do magic I can work towards being as strong as you are!"
Shining laughed, adding in his own tidbit. "I remember that day. Not minutes after getting home, dad had to pull her out of a pile of books. She'd somehow managed to knock down a few shelves trying to find a book on how to raise the sun." Twilight glared at Shining and began to pout.
"I did not knock them down, they just fell!"
"Sure, Twily, whatever you say." He reached out with a hoof and mussed her mane, keeping in mind her injuries.
Celestia watched the exchange between the siblings, happy with her choice of making them wards. With her potential and apparent drive towards magic, no doubt it's going to start getting rather interesting in the castle once more... Somehow, I look forward and welcome the occasion.
Another knock at the door drew their attention to Cadance, who looked at everypony in the room with a smile. "Hi, Auntie!" she waved her hoof before looking to Shining and Twilight. "Hi you two!"
Shining got up and wrapped his forehooves around Cadance in a quick hug, thankful for her presence. He quietly whispered into her ear. "Thanks for coming, things were feeling a bit awkward... I kinda face-planted the floor when she walked in..." Cadance quietly giggled as she broke off the hug and moved to Twilight's side.
"Hi, Cadance! Thanks for coming by again..." Twilight trailed off, looking at her expectantly. Cadance laughed and nuzzled her for a moment before singing.
"Sunshine, sunshine," Twilight joined Cadance, the two voices blending together. "Ladybug's awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" The two of them giggled together at the end, Cadance moving to hug her.
"A most cute display, niece. I believe that you will do a most excellent job in helping to raise Twilight. Speaking of," Celestia paused, taking a quick moment to clear her throat, "I was informed that your stitches will be removed tomorrow, Twilight. That means you'll be leaving here sometime in the afternoon with Cadance and your brother."
"That's good to hear, Princess." Shining spoke, ready for Twilight to be out of the hospital at last. He directed his next words to Twilight as he caught her eyes. "You'll love your room, Twily. It's right next to Cadance's and mine, and there's a surprise for you inside it." he widely smiled, glad to continue distracting her from her grief.
Celestia stood up and moved towards the door. "I'm most glad that you are quickly recovering, Twilight, and that soon you'll be out of the hospital. However, I'm afraid that there are things that I must take care of that can't wait any longer. I'll also be here when you are released tomorrow." Celestia waved to Cadance and Shining, having words for them as well. "You two, take care, I'll see you both tomorrow too."
The three remaining ponies quietly began talking amongst themselves about the future; and how surely things were looking up for them all.
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Quality seems to stay constant, regardless of when you wrote this. Good job on this last chapter. What I would like to see is how Shining feels about Celestia, specifically with Cadence's earlier comment about being groomed for a position in mind. Keep up the good work!
I'm pleased to see that Twilight has her priorities straight.
Your dialogue feels the tiniest bit stilted, almost awkward. It's a property I can't really pin down; I write instinctively rather than technically. Kinda feels like the characters are only operating "skin-deep" for lack of a better term. God I wish I knew how to describe it. It's not really story breaking, but it makes it a little strange to read.
I'll keep reading, though.
Merry meet
3118579
It does shine interesting light on the fact that Celestia calls the meeting an awkward situation, doesn't it?
Oh, there is this:
It looks like there is a 'with' missing and I am not certain if 'over' is needed there.
Welp, that's all from me for now!
Keep up the good work!
Damn, that's a one helluva chapter boy. I like it.
3118579
Yeah, i only noticed this with Celestia's dialogue though at the end, specifically, these two paragraphs.
The 'most <x>' bits just seems wrong, compared to the Celestia we've seen so far, almost as if she's thrown her mask on, and is just trying to remain impassive. This occasion is a happy one, maybe she can slip her mask off and just speak her feelings without that impassive tone and word choice. Also, the 'most glad' part reminds me of whenever i come across this family guy episode's cutaway gag. While it's grammatically correct, it just doesn't sound right.
Edit -
Currently adding suggestions to this, check back in a couple minutes.Done. Check below.One way to at least partially fix the 'most cute' paragraph's issues is to remove some of the neutrality from it. Moving the action 'Celestia paused, taking a quick moment to clear her throat,' to be before 'Speaking of' doesn't interrupt the dialogue's flow like it did, either.
To fix the other paragraph, much the same could be applied. Rewording the same intentions, more informally here means that she's letting her mask down, showing at least a little more of her true self on an occasion like this.
The qualty remains great, keep up the good work
3118579
I you are probably right Tast, but lets keep reading, maybe once we past the intorduction chapters things will get a bit more of the meat to the characters.
another good chapter
3118579>>3118592>>3118609>>3118631
Quick, short reply as I lay here bout ready to get some shuteye. I was reading it myself before quickly getting it up ( I was literally counting the seconds left to post, wasn't counting on being a tard and playing Fallout New Vegas instead of going straight to sleep once home ), and I thought something might have been off to a degree, but went ahead and put it up. I'll give it another look after some sleep,
Tast - really value your opinion, one of my fears is that keeping the chapters as short as I have been would result in a sacrifice or shortcoming somewhere. This might be why, or just the really awkward bit of writing from 2-4am.
Ultra - fucking awesome feedback/CC, I'll be looking at this once I get this much needed sleep.
Thanks for the feedback folks, I'll try and clean it up a bit this afternoon to make it not so shallow/awkward. Much love.
3118749 Time spent playing NV is time well-spent.
Anyway, I'm loving this story so far. Can't wait to see Twilight and Celestia bring each other out of their shells.
3118749
No worries man. Figured i'd help you improve your stories, if it was within my power to help, at least.
too much "little one" in there. the second little one should be Twilight.
3118609 One Dissagreement, "that was most cute, niece", sounds more like Celestia than "oh that's cute niece"
I agree with everything else..
Putting thought behind her words to fill her character out a little more sounds like a great idea though.
Blunt, cold, and very true.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3119417
Exactly the way Celestia is supposed to be. For now... Twi will sort her out.
3118631
It takes a lot more than isolated stilted conversation to shake me! Of course, by more I mean a character flying so far out-of-character you could re-colour them and call them an OC... But really, this is Mommylestia, I CAN'T quit unless the creator deems it a failure; my paternal empathy would kill me with the feedback otherwise.
3118749
Aw shucks, I value being valued.
I'd say the quality so far is pretty damned good and that is putting it politely
SO looking forward to MORE
of this
I really LOVED this part
Nice new chapter, even though a bit short for my taste. But I'm a lover for 10,000+ words chapters, so my perception is probably off.
Cute chapter.
This was a great chapter, time of writing had no effect on it!
It even seems like Celestia's benefiting from knowing Twilight already...
Great chapter!
I may be weird but i kinda like that fact that Celestia was at least a little reserved with Twilight (at least in the early days) because they really do not know each other yet.
real relationships take time to develop.
3120975 Tends to happen when you almost die.
Well, they just jinxed it^^
Awesome chapter!
I have a feeling that the "surprise" Shining has for Twilight is Smarty Pants.
"Yes yes yes yes! I gotta keep reading if I wanna be just like you, Princess!"
^
I see what you did there!
Cue twilicorn NAOW!!!!!!
Bet you didn't see my hidden message ^
Hint: pinkie sense
Huh? That not only doesn't sound at all like Celestia, it doesn't make sense. You'd have to be a real stuck-up prig to use the "most" thing with a word like "cute". Celestia is not stuck-up.
Other than that, keep 'em comin'! This is a nice change of pace from some of the more dramatic stories I'm reading.
A few awkward parts, particularly in dialogue, but still high-quality. Good work!
However...
I have this little... nitpick, I guess. I've seen it a couple of times now, otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it. I'll drop a couple of examples.
The parts in bold are parts that I think should have been left out. They don't add to the story; they just explain what's already been implied by the tone of the dialogue before-hand or afterwards, and and just make it read clunkily.
That's just my opinion, anyway. I would have ignored it, if I hadn't seen it in other chapters/fics of yours.
In response to the author's note if I know my self as much as I think I do I will just laugh at the sadness.........SO.
.
Twilight's reaction to celestia
You, sir, are fabulous.
How can anyone write this well at that time of the morning? 
I would've faceplanted on the keyboard! 
One point. When was this written? Because in the EQ Girls movie it says Sunset Shimmer was Celestia's student. Thus, she was being groomed for the job T eventually got. If T is 5-6 years old, then SS ought to be 8-10 & studying in school.
5357467 ...........alternate universe.........>.>
Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very nice... Was that two much?