Chapter 1: The Life of an Actress
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. – Rodney Dangerfield
My troubles began long ago, but the day everything bit me on the flank began when I was informed of an event that I usually love attending.
I was told of a wedding.
Weddings are special to me. They are not like the first kiss, the birth of a child, or the consummation of marriage. Not that I’ve ever experienced any of those, of course. There is no new love born, no lust or passion set aflame. Instead, there is a pact of sorts, an affirmation. Yes, marriage is the ultimate affirmation of love. It is the ceremony when the betrothed swear to love each other to the end of their days.
I love attending weddings. As Princess of Equestria, I have presided over many and been a guest at a few. No matter the importance of the wedding, whatever role I have played in the ceremony or the relationship, I have enjoyed them all.
One summer’s morning, I was sitting upon my golden throne and signing paperwork. The herald sounds and my guard opens to door to admit two ponies: Shining Armour, the captain of my Royal Guard, and my niece, Princess Cadance.
I smiled brightly as the pair entered the throne hall and set down my papers; thankful to have a distraction from my duties. Cadance was more a daughter to me than niece. I had presided over her parents’ marriage and had been at her birth. When they had died in a horrifying accident I had made her my ward and taken her under my wing. For a moment, I regarded her beautiful form and bright, intelligent eyes and resisted the temptation to shake my head. How long had it been when she had pranced in my throne room like a child? It seemed like yesterday.
I turned to Shining Armour. He was the brother to my dear protégé and one of the most dependable ponies I knew. The stallion was dwarfed by the muscular guards standing beside me, but what he lacked in size, he made up for in loyalty. In terms of magical prowess, he was not as powerful as my faithful student, but he was still one of the most skilled unicorns in Equestria.
We exchanged pleasantries, and that was when I noticed the couple seemed rather worried. Their eyes never seemed to meet mine, their tails flicked from side to side, and I noticed my niece twirling her mane. They were certainly nervous about something, but I decided to let them tell me. As I waited, I began to go over the worst case scenarios. I knew Cadance and Shining Armour had been in courtship for some time. I welcomed their relationship, but I was acutely aware of the reckless activities caused by young love.
I was then told that my niece had been proposed to by none other than the stallion next to her and that she had accepted.
“Captain Shining Armour, what makes you think I would let you wed Cadance?” I asked, giving the stallion a withering gaze. Cadance bit her lip and her wings clasped tighter to her sides. To his credit, Shining Armour stood firm against my glare, but then again I had hoofpicked him to be Captain of the Royal Guard.
“But Auntie Celestia...” protested Cadance. Momentarily, I ignored my niece, much as it pained me to do so.
“Well, captain?” I demanded. Shining Armour stood firm against my scrutiny, though I had to suppress a snort as I felt the fear flowing from him.
“Your Highness, I love Cadance with all my heart and with every fiber in my body. I march to the ends of Equestria for her and do anything she commands of me,” the stallion’s head lowered, and I felt a little sorry for him as he continued, “I know I don’t deserve a wonderful mare like her, but I can’t imagine my life without her.” After he finished, I snorted, causing the pair to stare at me with wide eyes. I held a hoof to my mouth, but it was too late and I burst into laughter. My guards grimaced as my laughter echoed through the throne hall. I knew better than anypony that his love for my niece was sincere.
Cadance glared reprovingly at me. “Auntie, did you really have to do that?” she sighed, trying to hold back her smile. I nodded, unable to stop my body from shaking.
“He is as uptight as Twilight. I could not resist!” I snickered.
“Wait, what’s going on?” asked Shining Armour. With great effort, I drew myself to my full height. I took a deep breath to banish my last giggle and looked Shining Armour and Cadance right in their eyes. I must have been smiling wider than when I attended The National Dessert competition... that is, before Pinkie ate all the cake.
“Captain Shining Armour, you are hereby given permission to wed my ward, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. I wish you both all the happiness in Equestria,” I said, feeling more elated than I had in days. Shining Armour and Cadance burst into wide grins, the pegasus unicorn actually flying up to my throne and embraced me. As I returned it, I felt her love invigorate my spirit and course like fire through my veins.
“Thank you so much, Auntie Celestia! Will you preside over our wedding?” whispered Cadance tearfully.
I tightened my grip on my niece and clung her closer to my body. “I would love to.”
I think I had a spring in my step as I cantered through the halls of Canterlot. It seemed as if the castle staff looked happier than usual. It was that or the rumors of the upcoming Royal Wedding had spread faster via word of mouth than I had anticipated. Perhaps it was both.
“Sister, you seem happier than usual. May we know the cause?” spoke a formal voice. I turned to see Princess Luna regarding me with a curious glance. I smiled, a little caught off guard, but quite happy.
“My niece and Captain Shining Armour are getting married and I am presiding over their wedding!” I replied gleefully. Luna’s eyes appeared to jump out of her sockets and her ears shot straight into the air like flagpoles. I took a step back, confused at the princess’s reaction.
“You have a niece? Whom didst thou marry when we were gone?” demanded the Princess of the Night. I blinked, sighed in relief and shook my head. I knew Luna tended to take things rather literally at times.
“You remember Cadance right? She is my ward. I adopted her after her parents died,” I explained.
Luna nodded in recognition and groaned with half-lidded eyes. “Ah yes, we remember her. She dragged us off to go ‘the shopping mall’. Where we bought ‘makeup’, ‘clothes’ and played those infernally unfair machines that allow you to get soft toys. I plan to rewrite the regulations for the manufacture of that ‘entertainment’. They merely are a trap for one’s bits.”
I raised my hoof to hide my smile, but I could not hide the giggle. Luna glared at me, but I noticed her mouth twitch. She was having just as much trouble suppressing her laughter.
“That is correct. Now, I’m off to celebrate, before I have to deal with the press.” I started to trot away, but did not hear Luna’s hoofsteps. Wondering why, I paused, and turned my head. Luna seemed a little forlorn, her wings were drooped and her head bowed down like a willow branch. I pursed my lips and hummed to myself.
“Would you care to join me?”
When we reached my chambers, we threw ourselves into the many cushions that adorned it. I hastily opened a small cupboard beside my bed and levitated out a bottle of my finest wine, along with my emergency stash of assorted crackers and cream cheese.
“Well Lu-lu, how was the Night Court?” I asked, as I slowly lowered myself down onto the pillows. Luna merely threw herself into the pile and wiggled left and right into the cushions. All the while, she balanced a glass of wine.
“Our court was busier than usual. We suspect that our good reception at Ponyville’s Nightmare Night has helped to improve our image among other ponies,” said Luna with a slight smile. I was about to join her, but the ends of her lips drooped down. “But in Canterlot, the nobility cowers from me. One can see it in their eyes.” I groaned and my teeth buried themselves into my lip. Luna had acquainted herself with modern culture, but the nobles had not acquainted themselves with her. A thousand years of tradition and particularly scary bedtime stories were making it very difficult for her to change her image. My brow furrowed slightly as I pondered a way to solve this problem.
Out of nowhere, I had a thought that might at least cheer Luna up. My mouth stretched across my face and my eyes glittered with glee. “Luna, you were always very good at guiding lovers and ensuring...” I snickered and felt my cheeks warm up a little. “A fertile consummation.” Luna blushed and snorted, but her ears were pointed with sudden alertness. “Would you like to organize the honeymoon for the Royal Wedding?” I asked. The blue alicorn stared at me as if I had gone and turned into Discord himself. When she spoke, her voice was hesitant and tentative.
“Sister? What are you saying? Dost thou really want to delegate such an important task to us of all ponies? We have just returned and –”
I wormed my way through the cushions and firmly placed my hoof on Luna’s shoulder. Even though she tried to avoid my gaze, I met her eyes anyway.
“And I believe you can do it, sister. Your knowledge of modern Equestria has improved substantially since your return. The fact you recognized the term ‘honeymoon’ shows this. I am sure you can do this.” It was a bit of a gamble, but if anything, I knew that Luna would do her best to make Shining Armour and Princess Cadance’s honeymoon the most romantic trip a couple could ever have.
Luna squealed eagerly, threw her hooves around my neck and nuzzled me. I nuzzled back, years of practice allowing me to make it appear natural, though I felt a pang of wretchedness at my deception. Luna was such a dear. Sometimes, I wished she was my real sister. I shook those thoughts out of my head and took a final sip out of my glass before I put it back on the tray.
“Well, I better stop drinking. At this rate I’ll be intoxicated,” I chuckled. Luna glanced at me curiously.
“Sister, since when did we get intoxicated?” inquired the night princess. I blinked, and searched the muddled memories in my addled head, trying to remember what I did wrong. I relaxed my facial muscles to keep my expression as straight as possible.
“Since... when...” I frowned. Parties whizzed through my mind, giving way to past banquets, yielding to feasts of a far gone time. Suddenly, as I browsed over a particular recollection I realized my slip up. My mouth almost opened at that epiphany, but I kept my jaw shut. Alicorns did not get drunk. I recovered quickly and a wide smile flooded my face, hurriedly wiping away the traces of my mistake.
“You’re right! Give me another bottle! It has been so long since I have indulged in my stock!” Internally, I groaned and I felt myself sink into the pillows a little. I knew I was going to regret this later, but better to regret it later than let my disguise fall. Luna grinned widely, and poured me another glass which we clinked and lifted in preparation to drink.
It was then I noticed this bizarre feeling, one I hadn’t felt in a long time. It buzzed at the back of my head nudging at my conscience, growing louder and louder. I thought it was the alcohol, but just then I did something nopony should do when they are drinking.
I had come to a realization; more specifically of what that nagging feeling meant
Immediately, I was filled with panic that I hadn’t felt since before Discord escaped. This fear paralysed me while I drank my glass. The fruity flavour of the wine clogged in my throat and turned sour like bile. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I coughed, forcing away the choking liquid, and felt clean air fill my lungs.
“Sister, are you alright?” asked Luna.
“It went down too fast.” I panted as I wiped my lips with a napkin. It took all my willpower to stop myself from trembling, but somehow I managed to conceal it. Luckily, Luna seemed merely concerned with my choking.
“Luna, I just remembered that organizing this wedding is probably going to require me to do some paperwork and play appeasement with the nobility. I’m sorry, but I have to go,” I sighed. Luna nodded in understanding, and after a final nuzzle, we said our goodbyes.
When I was sure that Luna had left my chambers, I hastily scrawled out two messages and sent them with my magic.
A few hours later...
Two white unicorn stallions stood sharply at attention, waiting for my commands. One, despite his rather handsome looks, was sometimes regarded as a narcissistic brat. In reality, he was one of the ponies I trusted the most and his looks actually reflected his heart, something rather rare for most ponies.
The other was Shining Armour, and he was understandably confused.
“Your Highness, why did you summon me and Prince Blueblood here?” asked my captain. Blueblood looked as aloof as ever, but I could see that telltale flick in his tail that showed his curiosity.
“Nephew, Captain, there is a situation. I have recently become aware of a possible threat to Equestria that will likely occur during the Royal Wedding. Shining Armour, I need the Royal Guard on high alert, but keep this as low profile as possible. Also, I need you to put up your best shield. I’m sorry to ask this of you before your wedding, but this is of the utmost necessity.” Shining Armour’s his face twisted in surprise and worry, but he did not ask any questions and merely saluted.
“As you wish Your Highness,” snapped my captain. With a curt nod, I dismissed him and turned to my nephew, who wore a frown on his face.
“If you have any questions, nephew, you know you may always ask them,” I said with a smile.
Blueblood nodded, his brow knit together and his eyes examined me closely. “Auntie, how did you become aware of this threat to Equestria?” asked my nephew warily. I chuckled.
“Blueblood, trust me as you always have. My methods of acquiring knowledge go beyond your role in the nobility,” I explained. My nephew, perceptive as always – though he usually acts like a dandy – glared at me.
“Auntie, you are more scared of this threat than you are letting on. Why would you intrude on Shining Armour’s marriage to ask him to put a shield up?” inquired Blueblood. There was just no hiding from that stallion. After all, I had helped to raise him ever since his fortune was lost in a fire. I sighed and turned to look into my large, gold-leafed cheval mirror. I saw a regal white alicorn with a rippling tri-colour mane. Her mouth was straight, but their edges drooped down to the ground. She had great majestic wings, yet they were tightly pulled to her body, like she had something to hide. Her eyebrows appeared to be crumpled and warped. I stared into my quivering magenta orbs.
“I will tell you, Blueblood... someday, but for now I need to ask you to trust me as you always have. I need you to form a committee to go through the government records. Compile a list of every pony citizen without a birth certificate and immigration record. Look for any irregularities such as ponies that went missing and then miraculously returned, ponies that have appeared in one place when they were proven to be somewhere else – ”
“Wait, are you saying our enemy is replacing or impersonating ponies? Who or what exactly are we up against?” demanded Blueblood. Momentarily, I turned to judge my nephew. He had taken a step closer to me, his eyes entirely focused on my face.
“I have an idea of who is involved, but I’m not sure if they are a threat. They haven’t been for a long while and this is merely a contingency for if they do become a threat,” I explained. My nephew moaned at the prospect of doing more work before he nodded and began to make his way to the door.
“How is Romana by the way?” I asked. Blueblood, despite his attempts to stop it, blushed.
“We are keeping our relationship under wraps. I wish I could just be open with it and stop having to put on my ‘act’ as usual, but I do not want to settle down while I’m still useful to you.” I rolled my eyes and ruffled my nephew’s slicked back hair and nuzzled him.
“There is a lodge I sometimes use when I want to get away from court life. It is a lovely little place on the far side of Mount Canter with a magnificent view. The keys and the map will be sent to you tomorrow. I strongly advise you to bring a guest,” I whispered. Blueblood’s downturned lips quickly flipped themselves and as he trotted off, there was a light canter to his steps.
When he had left, I turned to my mirror and did something I hadn’t done for a long time. I dropped my disguise, letting the mask I put on fall and stared at my true self. For if my biological instinct was to be trusted, I would be seeing a monarch very soon, and I had be prepared for the sight.
I needed to be prepared for the sight of a fully ascended Changeling Queen.
“Not some exiled runt,” I whispered to the empty room.