The thief breathed heavily, in little more than wheezing gasps. His limbs were weak, shaking - his vision blurring and clarifying with dizzying speed. Such was the reaction of a non-unicorn being teleported for the first time, and by dark magic, no less.
He shook his head violently, dispelling some of the haze in his mind. In its place came the source of all his troubles:
Who was that fat mutant, anyways? the amulet asked, completely unaffected by the trauma of teleporting.
"That," the thief choked out between ragged breaths, "was Princess Celestia. And we are so dead."
Princess Celestia. the amulet repeated. The thief thought he heard her voice quiver slightly at the name.
"Yeah." he said sadly, taking in his new surroundings. To his immediate horror, he recognized the very same alleyway that he'd galloped down the night before. He'd been transported back into Canterlot.
You just had be thinking of the night you freed me when we teleported, didn't you? she observed sardonically.
The thief didn't respond right away, being too busy diving behind a stack of crates. After a quick glance around confirmed his suspicion that ponies were off the streets today, he muttered, "I can't believe this is happening to me."
Hey . . . the amulet said, trailing off nervously.
"What?" he hissed softly, still nervously scanning the alley.
Do you think the streets are deserted because of . . . me?
"It was Princess Celestia herself who called our little failure a 'reign of terror', right?" he observed dejectedly.
Yeah. Yeah! the amulet said with growing enthusiasm. Yes!
"Are you happy at that?" the thief asked, dumbfounded.
What do you think? Of course! I finally did it!
"Huh?"
This is amazing!
"Whoa, whoa." the thief said with the shake of a hoof for good measure. "Why is this so great?"
If Sombra could see me now! the amulet continued, heedless.
"You've got to be kidding me." he groaned.
I literally just fulfilled the purpose for me existing, so try not to ruin the moment, please.
"Purpose for existing." the thief repeated softly to himself.
"Hey! You! Don't move!" a strong voice ordered from the end of the alleyway.
Not again.
The thief took off into a gallop in the opposite direction of the eagle-eyed Guard, who shot a magic flare into the sky in response.
"We need to teleport again!" the thief said between gritted teeth. "I can't hide forever!"
There's some kind of magical field! I can't! the amulet gasped a moment later, fear now evident in her mental voice.
The thief suddenly stopped running. "It's no use." he said, pointing a hoof at the pegasi Guards that were descending on him, flying far faster than he'd ever be able to run. A quick tug on a nearby door, evidently locked, told him the futility of that escape route.
I've got an idea. the amulet said hesitantly.
"Finally." he said.
Yeah, now imagine being invisible.
"You can do that?" he whispered, as the Guards were almost upon him.
Not exactly, but that thought will be enough. she assured him, her voice having very little in the way of reassurance. Nevertheless, with no other options, the thief imagined himself turning invisible.
Instantly, a swirling cloud of purple mist erupted around him, completely covering the entire street in a thick, choking fog. The thief stood still this entire time, hoping fervently that whatever the amulet was doing, worked. He waited for the smoke to clear.
The smoke didn't clear. Instead, it seemed to grow all the more voluminous. The thief slowly became aware he couldn't feel his limbs, or his head, or anything.
What did you do? he wondered, and his thoughts sounded exactly the same as him speaking. In fact, as he opened his mouth to say something-
-he had no mouth.
What did you do? he asked loudly in his mind.
Make you disappear. the amulet responded, her voice so much clearer than before. It was light and silvery, quite pleasant to listen to. Calming, considering the situation he was slowly realizing he was in.
You made me a cloud of smoke, didn't you?
It's effective, and fairly simple for dark magic users.
And it's 'pretty awesomely intimidating'.
. . . that's exactly what I just thought.
I guess you're not the only one that can read minds now, then. It just came to me when you said 'it's effective' - like the actual meaning behind your words.
Aw, shoot.
So, what was that about Sombra?
I can't tell you. Just forget about it, alright?
I just put my trust in you to pull off an escape, with no idea of what would happen to me. And now I'm a cloud of smoke that can think. I have no idea how this all works, and I honestly think I'll finally go crazy if I try and figure it out.
And?
C'mon. Show a little faith in me.
. . . fine.
Great! Let's start simple - what's your name, miss amulet?
That shop keeper called me the Unicorn Amulet. I really hate that name, though.
Why's that?
Because, well, can you keep a secret?
I don't think anyone would believe me anyways.
I'm the twin to the Alicorn Amulet. Ever heard of it?
Can't say as I have.
It's like me, except better in every way save two things. I'm older, and I can think.
So she's more evil? And she's your younger sister?
No. No, no, no. Well, yes, far more evil then I could ever hope to be. And she's an it.
So I couldn't hold this conversation with her?
Heh, no. The Alicorn Amulet is . . . everything I'm not. It corrupts the most moral and stalwart ponies with a touch, plays to their every fear and weakness. It's an artist. When I do what I do, I'm consciously thinking about how to corrupt you - to the Alicorn Amulet, it's every instinct of its being. It doesn't think, it just does.
Why are you different, then?
I was a prototype. A failure. The ancestor to every dark magic artifact that exists. Sombra didn't like free thought in his creations. The Inspiration Manifestation came after me, then the Alicorn Amulet. They were better, in his eyes.
That still doesn't explain how you're having a conversation with me.
I don't honestly know why. And me existing, thinking, is the most valuable thing in the world to me.
Ah, so you're afraid Celestia and the Guards will destroy you?
I'm terrified of that. I've grown fond of thinking. Every second in that dark hole I was scared somepony might find me and turn me in, without putting me on first, giving me a chance.
Oh.
Yeah. It sucks, not being able to move.
Wow. Thanks for, uh, sharing that with me.
Thanks for listening.
He smiled a little. "So, what now?" He did a double-take when he realized he'd said that out loud, with a mouth. The smoke was withdrawing to the spot he'd disappeared at, reforming his body, cloak, and the amulet.
Looks like the spell's fading. I'm hoping they thought we teleported away and just left the cloud there, not actually turned into the cloud.
He shook his new head, taking in the street. A group of Royal Guards patrolled: luckily, they were just as surprised as he was by the cloud disappearing.
"Quick, can we teleport?" the thief asked quickly, watching a magical flare arch up into the sky for the third time that day.
"Quick, re-cast the spell!" one of the Guards yelled to the unicorn among them, whose horn began to glow.
They were too late. The thief and the amulet disappeared in a cloud of purple mist, gone for real this time.
"Notify the Princess." a Guard ordered, before the subject of the order herself landed in front of them. Her face was troubled by what she'd heard.
~
The thief yawned tiredly, and settled down in his makeshift shelter of pine boughs and cloak. Their second teleport had been more useful than the first, sending the pair to the outskirts of a large city. Which city his memory had sent them to was a question for tomorrow; it wasn't Canterlot, to the relief of both sapient creatures. Exhausted by the day's events, the thief closed his eyes after a last check of the security of his hiding place.
I never caught your name, you know. the amulet said. Her voice retained its clarity and beauty from his time as a non-corporeal entity. He was rather glad of the fact.
"Lock Pick." the thief said. "Couldn't you just read my mind and find out?"
It doesn't work that way. Ponies don't consciously think of their own names.
"Ah. Well, what's your name, then? Besides 'The Unicorn Amulet'? he asked.
I don't know? Prototype #1? Failure? Paranoid, evil amulet?
"How about just 'Amulet?" he said softly, letting sleep claim him. "That's a pretty name. I could see a mare with that name."
I do like it. A little. she said, sounding almost reluctant to admit it was nice. See you in your dreams.
He yawned quietly. "Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised."
If she had a face, she would have smiled knowingly at his words. Oh, but she would have a face, soon. Just not strictly 'real' . . .