An earth pony thief steals the Alicorn Amulet - except it doesn't have wings, and it seems to be royally screwing up trying to corrupt him.
The Alicorn Amulet - all powerful, and power corrupts absolutely. A great addition to any thief's collection.
Too bad Lock Pick, an earth pony thief, stole a copy of it that lacks wings. Having unicorn powers is amazing and all . . . but is it talking to him? It's sure made a mess of corrupting him - or she, as the amulet insists for him to refer to her as. And she's rather charming, in her own fumbling, naive, yet relentlessly-attempting-to-be-evil way.
Even worse, he's made the enemy of the entire Royal Guard because, while rather mediocre magic the amulet provides, it's still dark magic. And dark magic is kind of extremely-forbidden.
The rain fell in solid waves, crashing over the roofs of Canterlot in a dull roar. Gutters were transformed into rivers in minutes, and the few ponies still outside before the scheduled storm quickly vacated the winding streets.
Night had fallen.
In the lower streets of the city, the shops and apartments were packed in wall to wall, with only a few narrow alleyways cutting through the maze of streets. Here, the rainwater from the higher levels poured through in torrents, incidentally saving public works costs by blasting every last speck of grime off the road.
Only crazy ponies or ponies with something to hide would be out in the night's weather.
~
In a particularly seedy-looking alley, a cloaked figure hurried past abandoned carts and crates. The clop of hooves on cobblestone was drowned out by the roar of the storm. He glanced to and fro at the windows speeding by, never pausing in his gallop.
A shop caught his eye, and he carefully paused at the edge of the doorway, gazing intently through the keyhole. The interior was dark, save for the flickering glow of a dying candle. It took him a few moments, but the figure eventually recognized the limp form of the shop owner, sleeping in a chair behind the counter.
He smiled softly, and pulled a small vial of grease out from under his cloak. Deftly, he bit off the plug and dumped the contents of the vial over the hinges of the shop door. He paused to throw the spent vial into the street, and watched as it was carried away by the rushing water; the waters were declining, but still forceful enough to suit his purposes.
With barely a squeak, he slowly pushed the door in. When the shop owner remained in slumber, blissfully unaware of the sudden roaring of the storm through the doorway, the figure smirked and slipped on muffling boots. The roar was cut off abruptly as the cloaked pony quickly entered and closed the door behind him.
Taking a moment to let the rainwater slide off of his enchanted cloak, he glanced around with a growing smile on his face. The shelves were practically bursting with piles of artifacts and trinkets, and he was sure at least some of them were valuable.
He crept up to a table covered in jewel necklaces, eagerly scooping a hoof-full up for closer inspection. A grunt of dismay escaped his lips when he realized they were all clearly fake.
Undaunted, he turned to a gaudy pearl-studded dress. Holding up one of the folds to his mouth, he rubbed the precious spheres across his teeth. He frowned at feeling the smooth texture of a synthetic pearl, and set the dress down in disgust.
Thoroughly disgruntled by now, he trotted up to the counter. Surely, he thought, the owner must keep his good stuff here. That wasn't necessarily true, however, as he could see a tag peeking out from behind the shimmering red silk advertised as coming from vaguely-described "giant spiders". A large tooth attested to the validity of that claim; the intruder promptly squashed the poorly-made clay fake with a sigh.
Scanning the shelves, his wandering eye abruptly stopped on a glass display case. More specifically, on the bejeweled amulet resting inside it.
He carefully made his way past the snoozing shop owner, and scarcely breathing, he reached under the folds of his cloak and withdrew a faintly-glowing crystal. He held it up over the counter, and to his visible delight, the glow brightened considerably, bathing the whole room in a ghostly ambiance.
His grin faded when he realized few shop owners would be stupid enough to put a magical artifact in a glass display case, in plain view. Shops that sold fake curios to gullible tourists tended to come hand-in-hand with cunning owners, and practically being thieves themselves, they also were wary of more obvious thieves like himself.
Still, something was setting the detection crystal off. He poked around the counter for a while, finding nothing more interesting than painted clay and dyed cloth in the guise of rare finds. Finally allowing a modicum of frustration seep into his mind, the thief was about to cut his losses and try somewhere else when a loose floorboard caught his eye.
He bent down and carefully pried the board out of the floor, revealing a small door hidden in the exposed hole. Holding the detection crystal over the safe, it continued to glow.
Whistling softly to himself, he got out a lock-pick and began fidgeting around with the simple key-lock. The raspy scrapes of metal on metal rung in his ears, as he hurriedly picked the lock with practiced ease. It wasn't long before the door swung open to reveal a ruby amulet.
Waving his crystal in front of the artifact one last time, the reassuring glow settled all doubts, and he looked over his prize contentedly. He noticed the fact that the genuine amulet lacked the stylized wings of the display one, only featuring a stern caricature of a unicorn arching over the crystal. Typical, the fake looked better than the real thing.
Still, whatever it was, it was sure to have value. He stuck a hoof into the hole and scooped up the amulet, placing it around his neck for safe-keeping.
"Don't move!" a voice yelped, causing the thief to jerk up in surprise and spin to face the noise. The shop owner stood in front of his chair, his horn glowing dangerously.
The thief started to duck under the counter, but then the thought popped into his mind unbidden: I can take this old fool.
Disregarding sixteen successful attempts worth of experience, he stood his ground and didn't run like the thief he was. At a momentary loss as to what to do, exactly, another idea came to him. While the shop owner closed his eyes and readied a spell, the thief grasped the counter with both hooves and flipped it over into the unicorn. The owner was bowled over by the impact, smashing into the ground with a dull thud.
The thief smirked, a feeling of sheer confidence coming over him. "Glad something here wasn't a disgusting fake." he said cockily.
"You idiot, that's the Alico-" the shop owner paused, catching sight of a particular detail on the amulet. Instead, he settled for a less incriminating, "The Guard will hear of this."
"Heh, I'd like to see those strutting peacocks try." the thief said airily, dismissing the threat with the wave of his hoof. Before he beat his retreat, he slipped the amulet off his neck and into his saddlebag, distantly realizing flaunting stolen property on one's neck was a stupid idea, even in this weather. Still, he promised himself, I'll put it back on later. He liked that amulet.
He shook his mind clear, and stared at the struggling unicorn, trapped under the counter. He felt the aura of confidence leave him, and a distinct feeling of guilt taking its place. "Sorry about that." he said genuinely, not a hint of his earlier cockiness remaining.
And with that, he turned and galloped out the door. He didn't stop until he was in the forests bordering the city, where one sprained ankle from a root later, he sunk into a ditch tiredly. Before he let sleep claim him, however, he absent-mindedly dug the amulet out of his saddlebag, and placed it around his neck.
He fell into deep sleep in moments.
~
Back at the shop, the owner had finished putting all his wares (and his counter, too) back into order. With a happy sigh, he placed his horn-concealing hat back over his head and settled into his chair, resigned to the fact he'd probably stay up all night from the recent events.
He breathed a sigh of relief, glad for once that his sloppy nature had payed off for once. He'd forgotten all about the Alicorn Amulet, leaving it dangerously exposed up on a shelf. An artifact of that dark power deserved to be sold for an exorbitant price, not stolen. Luckily, that thief had taken the Alicorn Amulet's inferior brother - or sister? - from his hiding spot. A very lucky mix-up on his part.
Good luck with the Unicorn Amulet, he thought. Too bad one of Sombra's creations had to have had the wings broken off at some point in the past. What was it going to do, anyways? Give an earth pony unicorn magic?
He could live with that sort of stolen power out on the streets.
And then, a cloaked Trixie trotted into the shop, and the owner forgot all about the Unicorn Amulet.
The thief jolted awake, stretching out his limbs. He felt good. Heck, he hadn't felt so refreshed from a few hours of sleep in years. What could have caused this?
He glanced down at the amulet hanging from his neck, the events of the previous night coming back to him. Or was it early morning? he thought whimsically. The stormy night hadn't given him any clues to the time.
For that matter, the storm was completely gone. Celestia's sun arched overhead, the pegasi shifting around a few wispy clouds for the perfect summer's sky. Canterlot itself seemed to gleam even brighter in the sun's glow, every last speck of grime washed off the alabaster walls and golden rooftops.
As he got to his hooves, he noticed he was standing a little crookedly. Belatedly he remembered spraining his ankle last night on a root. Shouldn't it be painful? No, it's not that bad.
Only somewhat reassured by the thought, he surveyed the lush clearing before turning his gaze back to Canterlot. What to do today? He doubted 'cloaked pony' was precise enough of a description for the Guard to find him - provided, of course, that the shop owner made good on his threat Unlikely. and the Guard cared enough to attempt a search for him. Even more unlikely, for a bunch of ceremonial warriors.
Then what? He couldn't just waltz into a shop in broad daylight and pluck something off the shelves, and he really didn't want to try and sell this amulet just yet . . .
He could rob a bank.
His eyes widened, and he stepped back involuntarily in horror at his own thought. Rob a bank? He was a thief, not a 'bank robber' in some Young Daring Do book. He stole things in the cover of darkness, ideally with no one the wiser; did he actually want to trot into a bank and demand money? At least, that was how the book robbers did it. Nopony had ever been mean enough to cause that much anguish in centuries, and he himself would be considered one of the darkest spectra of Equestrian society, a thief.
Really? another side of his mind asked. He wondered if he was imagining the shocked tone in that thought.
Hah, of course he was. It was a thought after all.
I mean, you don't even think of the coin? he realized, continuing the internal exclamation from earlier. Goodness, his mind had a mind of its own today!
Then he seriously considered what he was proposing to himself. A bank has an awful lot of bits...
But he might hurt somepony! This isn't breaking into an abandoned shop at midnight, this is walking in with a weapon and-
Just do it, you idiot!
He blinked.
Nopony will get hurt, I'm too nice for that.
Was he, though? And anyway, what if someone tries to stop me? What do I have, beside my experience in galloping away from a fight with an enraged shop owner?
I wish I had magic . . . he thought morosely, glancing down at a pebble on the ground.
Apparently flippantly, he imagined it levitating like he'd seen so many unicorns do easily.
To his complete and utter astonishment, the pebble was wreathed in an unnaturally solid purple haze, and rising off the ground. Levitation. The amulet made him magical. He grinned broadly.
If he'd seen a mirror at that instant, he would have been horrified at the sickly green glow in his eyes, and the purple mist flowing freely from them. All he really felt, though, was an abstract sense of accomplishment.
That was quickly exploited into overwhelming elation and dangerous confidence. And very little of it was actually his own . . .
He started back to the city.
~
East Bank was a relatively small establishment in the lowest level of Canterlot. Relative, of course, to the shining city it was in the shadow of. A few ponies milled about the entrance, but most with savings to alter trotted past it in favor of the Canterlot Royal Bank or another similarly prestigious place.
The thief walked inside, taking in the musty smell of parchments tacked on the walls, proud reminders of better times for East Bank. A happy earth pony mare stood behind the counter, talking with a unicorn stallion with some rather large saddlebags slung over his back. A couple of other tourists stood around, snapping pictures of the old documents.
See, it's not as bad as you imagined.
He nodded at his logic, and with a tiny seed of contentment morphing into a heady rush of brazen confidence, he stomped a hoof loudly on the ground.
When all eyes were turned to the cloaked pony, he yelled "This is a robbery! Get down!"
His confidence turned to very real anger when he realized nopony seemed especially concerned. A few disapproving looks were given, sure. That wasn't the same as cowering on the floor. What I'd give for a sword right now . . .
Before he could fully process that thought, the mare behind the counter sighed and said, "Alright, foal. Prank's over, go home."
"What?" he asked, before throwing back his hood and growling "You think this is some prank?"
His hooves moved before he could rationalize his anger, and he started stomping towards the clerk. Now ponies were backing away from him, wide-eyed. Finally, some fear.
"Dark magic!" the unicorn stallion hissed, reaching with practiced speed into his saddlebags - the thief was too focused to notice the purple mist flowing from his eyes.
"I'll show yo-" he began, before being knocked off his feet by a forceful shove and held down by a force too all-encompassing to be a pony.
The unicorn stallion, now clad in the Royal Guard armor that was in his saddlebags, stood protectively in front of the clerk. His horn glowed brightly, keeping the thief pinned to the ground with trained telekinesis. "Stay behind me." he told the mare reassuringly, who smiled at him lovingly. Huh, so that was why an off-duty warrior was in this small treasury . . .
All the confidence and anger evaporated in moments, leaving a panicked thief behind. He felt bits of rage nipping at the sides of his mind, but was too terrified at his horrible mistake to think of their origin.
You have magic!
With one trembling hoof, he pointed at a chair and thought very hard indeed. Sure enough, the chair was bathed in a purple mist. A second later he hurled it at the Guard, who raised a shield with commendable speed to bounce the projectile away.
A few of the spectators cheered.
The thief, however, had risen to his hooves in the absence of crushing magic, and now anger morphed into rage. He concentrated again, and again the purple mist appeared - right above the Guard and the clerk, in the ceiling. It cracked and buckled under the force, and finally gave way.
An avalanche of debris fell onto the two ponies, and the scene was obscured a moment later by choking dust.
For the second time in a minute, the thief's rage drained away. He gasped in horror at his deed, like every other pony in the room. What had he done? Run, you fool!
No! They might be hurt!
Why does it matter so much to you?!
Those thoughts came to a end as the dust cloud settled. Debris crumbled off of the shimmering magic bubble the unicorn had put up, and he and the clerk crouched safely inside. The ponies around the thief cheered again; he, for his part, felt a twang of relief.
The Guard then launched a large chunk of debris at him.
The thief became aware of his surroundings again when, shaking, he got to his hooves in the middle of the street. Searing pain in his midsection, he realized the force of the hit had blown him clear out of the bank.
To the protests of a part of his mind he was now extremely suspicious of, he took off down the street. Moments later, Princess Celestia gently landed in front of the bank, wondering, like half the city, what the great commotion was.
~
The thief stopped his gallop in the forests, bruised and cut from the fight. He was horrified, chastised, and scared - but all he considered was the accursed amulet around his neck. That was the thing that caused this.
That's not true.
His thoughts were not always his thoughts. Not since that amulet had gotten on him.
Lies.
Dark magic! How had he not appreciated the horror of what it is?
It's powerful, you knave!
Now the entire Guard would be after him! Searching for a pony with a ruby amulet and a cloak . . . he had to get rid of it.
You wouldn- I wouldn't dare. This is a mistake.
He reached for his neck, and froze a second later.
There was a voice in his head. And it didn't want him to take off the amulet.
"Hello?" he said aloud, wondering if he could just think and the voice would understand him.
Of course, idiot.
Ha! There you are again!
It's probably nothing, self.
He rolled his eyes. "Ok, that isn't going to work anymore."
I'm probably just crazy.
"Can you stop speaking in first person? In my head, at least?" he asked with a frown. "It's pretty disturbing now that I think about the what happened today."
His mind was empty.
Finally, the voice replied softly: Will you not take me off?
"So you are the amulet." he asked decisively.
Yes, I am. the amulet said irritably. Now can you please say you won't take me off?
"You've kind of made me an enemy of the Crown." the thief observed flatly, giving a nervous glance around him for good measure. "I don't think you're in a position to demand anything of me."
Oh, shut up.
He reached for his neck.
Wait! I take it back!.
He allowed himself a small grin of victory. "Let's be a little respectful here, Mr. Amulet."
Miss.
"What did I miss?"
I'm female.
"You're an amulet." he observed sardonically.
Then I'm a female amulet.
"Your voice sounds pr-" he stopped and put a hoof on his chin, thinking. "Actually, yeah, your voice sounds kind of feminine, now that I think about it."
Doubter.
The thief shook his head after a moment, then started laughing. It was a dry sort of laugh, bordering on hysteria. The laugh of a creature at wit's end.
. . . what?
"I'm having a conversation with a voice in my head. That claims to be this amulet hung around my neck." he clarified.
So . . . ?
"I'm going insane!" he cried out.
Get a hold of yourself, you idiot! We're both going to be caught if you don't get it together!
The earth pony quieted his guffaws, before asking quietly: "Well, what do you suggest, all-powerful dark magic amulet? You must have experience in escaping the authorities."
I can't move, you realize?
"Oh, yeah." he realized. "None of this is my fault . . ." he said sadly.
Stop blaming me already.
"You must have done this to dozens of ponies over the years, then, right? Dark magic is dark magic, you must know something on how to get out of this mess!" he continued, brightening up a bit.
I . . . I don't. she mumbled sadly.
His head was silent again. "Oh, come on!" he growled. "Get me in to this mess, sure, but wher-"
"Identify yourself!" a deep voice called from outside of his view. Now that he had shut up, the thief became aware of somepony slowly crunching though the forest vegetation towards him.
"A Guard." he whispered, then smacked his head. "Now I'm telling you what's happening. This is ridiculous."
I can hear just as well as you. the amulet spoke up.
"Comforting." he muttered, before ducking behind a large tree.
A Royal Guard unicorn strode out of the undergrowth, his armor scratched and fur cut. He was alert, glancing around cautiously to find the source of the talking he'd heard.
Magic. The thief remembered he had magic now. Alright amulet, do your thing.
I can't.
"What?" he hissed, then cringed and covered his mouth with a hoof. It was too late: the Guard tensed up instantly and looked in his direction.
I can only do what you imagine.
And I can only do what you allow me to do.
Exactly. You should break his leg.
What? No!
Unavoidably, the mental image of him doing such a thing appeared unbidden. The sickly crack in his mind made him grimace.
A very real scream of pain made his ears go flat a second later.
"I hate you." he said in a strained voice.
You're so sentimental.
I'm sorry.
He peered around the tree, and sure enough, the Guard was on the ground with his foreleg bent at an unnatural angle. The thief's face was one of pure guilt.
However, looking into a stagnant pool just beyond the injured Guard, he saw himself as the Guard did: a cloaked pony with glowing green eyes and purple mist flowing in torrents from said eyes. No wonder he saw a barest hint of fear behind the stoic expression.
"You'll pay for this." the Guard growled, his horn glowing. Before the thief could apologize, run, or help the unicorn, a shaft of magical light shot up from the horn and into the sky. There, it exploded in a shower of bright red sparks.
"It's a signal for the other guards." the thief realized, too quietly for the injured Guard to hear the fear in his voice.
It's a signal for the other guards. the amulet snarled at the same time.
"No. Not for the other guards." the Guard said with a knowing, defiant grin.
"Oh no." the thief whispered, eyes widening at the shadow speeding across the clearing at him.
What's he rambling about? the amulet asked with genuine curiosity.
Princess Celestia landed between the thief and the downed Guard.
"Your reign of terror over my little ponies is over, dark magic user." she said calmly, but with frightening force behind her words.
I only failed at robbing one bank . . .
'Reign of terror'? Yes!
"I do not know from whence you came, but I will find out." Celestia continued, taking a step towards the cloaked thief, whose eyes still bled purple mist freely.
This was the Princess herself! The thief was almost unable to wrap his mind around how royally screwed he was. Literally.
"Get me out of here." he hissed softly to the amulet.
Why? she practically whined. It's just getting interesting!
"She'll imprison me," and when that failed to get a meaningful reaction beyond a snort, he continued a little louder, "and destroy you!"
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at his last two words, the only ones loud enough to reach her ears.
He disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke a moment later, his desperate wish to escape now shared by the amulet.
The thief breathed heavily, in little more than wheezing gasps. His limbs were weak, shaking - his vision blurring and clarifying with dizzying speed. Such was the reaction of a non-unicorn being teleported for the first time, and by dark magic, no less.
He shook his head violently, dispelling some of the haze in his mind. In its place came the source of all his troubles:
Who was that fat mutant, anyways? the amulet asked, completely unaffected by the trauma of teleporting.
"That," the thief choked out between ragged breaths, "was Princess Celestia. And we are so dead."
Princess Celestia. the amulet repeated. The thief thought he heard her voice quiver slightly at the name.
"Yeah." he said sadly, taking in his new surroundings. To his immediate horror, he recognized the very same alleyway that he'd galloped down the night before. He'd been transported back into Canterlot.
You just had be thinking of the night you freed me when we teleported, didn't you? she observed sardonically.
The thief didn't respond right away, being too busy diving behind a stack of crates. After a quick glance around confirmed his suspicion that ponies were off the streets today, he muttered, "I can't believe this is happening to me."
Hey . . . the amulet said, trailing off nervously.
"What?" he hissed softly, still nervously scanning the alley.
Do you think the streets are deserted because of . . . me?
"It was Princess Celestia herself who called our little failure a 'reign of terror', right?" he observed dejectedly.
Yeah. Yeah! the amulet said with growing enthusiasm. Yes!
"Are you happy at that?" the thief asked, dumbfounded.
What do you think? Of course! I finally did it!
"Huh?"
This is amazing!
"Whoa, whoa." the thief said with the shake of a hoof for good measure. "Why is this so great?"
If Sombra could see me now! the amulet continued, heedless.
"You've got to be kidding me." he groaned.
I literally just fulfilled the purpose for me existing, so try not to ruin the moment, please.
"Purpose for existing." the thief repeated softly to himself.
"Hey! You! Don't move!" a strong voice ordered from the end of the alleyway.
Not again.
The thief took off into a gallop in the opposite direction of the eagle-eyed Guard, who shot a magic flare into the sky in response.
"We need to teleport again!" the thief said between gritted teeth. "I can't hide forever!"
There's some kind of magical field! I can't! the amulet gasped a moment later, fear now evident in her mental voice.
The thief suddenly stopped running. "It's no use." he said, pointing a hoof at the pegasi Guards that were descending on him, flying far faster than he'd ever be able to run. A quick tug on a nearby door, evidently locked, told him the futility of that escape route.
I've got an idea. the amulet said hesitantly.
"Finally." he said.
Yeah, now imagine being invisible.
"You can do that?" he whispered, as the Guards were almost upon him.
Not exactly, but that thought will be enough. she assured him, her voice having very little in the way of reassurance. Nevertheless, with no other options, the thief imagined himself turning invisible.
Instantly, a swirling cloud of purple mist erupted around him, completely covering the entire street in a thick, choking fog. The thief stood still this entire time, hoping fervently that whatever the amulet was doing, worked. He waited for the smoke to clear.
The smoke didn't clear. Instead, it seemed to grow all the more voluminous. The thief slowly became aware he couldn't feel his limbs, or his head, or anything.
What did you do? he wondered, and his thoughts sounded exactly the same as him speaking. In fact, as he opened his mouth to say something-
-he had no mouth.
What did you do? he asked loudly in his mind.
Make you disappear. the amulet responded, her voice so much clearer than before. It was light and silvery, quite pleasant to listen to. Calming, considering the situation he was slowly realizing he was in.
You made me a cloud of smoke, didn't you?
It's effective, and fairly simple for dark magic users.
And it's 'pretty awesomely intimidating'.
. . . that's exactly what I just thought.
I guess you're not the only one that can read minds now, then. It just came to me when you said 'it's effective' - like the actual meaning behind your words.
Aw, shoot.
So, what was that about Sombra?
I can't tell you. Just forget about it, alright?
I just put my trust in you to pull off an escape, with no idea of what would happen to me. And now I'm a cloud of smoke that can think. I have no idea how this all works, and I honestly think I'll finally go crazy if I try and figure it out.
And?
C'mon. Show a little faith in me.
. . . fine.
Great! Let's start simple - what's your name, miss amulet?
That shop keeper called me the Unicorn Amulet. I really hate that name, though.
Why's that?
Because, well, can you keep a secret?
I don't think anyone would believe me anyways.
I'm the twin to the Alicorn Amulet. Ever heard of it?
Can't say as I have.
It's like me, except better in every way save two things. I'm older, and I can think.
So she's more evil? And she's your younger sister?
No. No, no, no. Well, yes, far more evil then I could ever hope to be. And she's an it.
So I couldn't hold this conversation with her?
Heh, no. The Alicorn Amulet is . . . everything I'm not. It corrupts the most moral and stalwart ponies with a touch, plays to their every fear and weakness. It's an artist. When I do what I do, I'm consciously thinking about how to corrupt you - to the Alicorn Amulet, it's every instinct of its being. It doesn't think, it just does.
Why are you different, then?
I was a prototype. A failure. The ancestor to every dark magic artifact that exists. Sombra didn't like free thought in his creations. The Inspiration Manifestation came after me, then the Alicorn Amulet. They were better, in his eyes.
That still doesn't explain how you're having a conversation with me.
I don't honestly know why. And me existing, thinking, is the most valuable thing in the world to me.
Ah, so you're afraid Celestia and the Guards will destroy you?
I'm terrified of that. I've grown fond of thinking. Every second in that dark hole I was scared somepony might find me and turn me in, without putting me on first, giving me a chance.
Oh.
Yeah. It sucks, not being able to move.
Wow. Thanks for, uh, sharing that with me.
Thanks for listening.
He smiled a little. "So, what now?" He did a double-take when he realized he'd said that out loud, with a mouth. The smoke was withdrawing to the spot he'd disappeared at, reforming his body, cloak, and the amulet.
Looks like the spell's fading. I'm hoping they thought we teleported away and just left the cloud there, not actually turned into the cloud.
He shook his new head, taking in the street. A group of Royal Guards patrolled: luckily, they were just as surprised as he was by the cloud disappearing.
"Quick, can we teleport?" the thief asked quickly, watching a magical flare arch up into the sky for the third time that day.
"Quick, re-cast the spell!" one of the Guards yelled to the unicorn among them, whose horn began to glow.
They were too late. The thief and the amulet disappeared in a cloud of purple mist, gone for real this time.
"Notify the Princess." a Guard ordered, before the subject of the order herself landed in front of them. Her face was troubled by what she'd heard.
~
The thief yawned tiredly, and settled down in his makeshift shelter of pine boughs and cloak. Their second teleport had been more useful than the first, sending the pair to the outskirts of a large city. Which city his memory had sent them to was a question for tomorrow; it wasn't Canterlot, to the relief of both sapient creatures. Exhausted by the day's events, the thief closed his eyes after a last check of the security of his hiding place.
I never caught your name, you know. the amulet said. Her voice retained its clarity and beauty from his time as a non-corporeal entity. He was rather glad of the fact.
"Lock Pick." the thief said. "Couldn't you just read my mind and find out?"
It doesn't work that way. Ponies don't consciously think of their own names.
"Ah. Well, what's your name, then? Besides 'The Unicorn Amulet'? he asked.
I don't know? Prototype #1? Failure? Paranoid, evil amulet?
"How about just 'Amulet?" he said softly, letting sleep claim him. "That's a pretty name. I could see a mare with that name."
I do like it. A little. she said, sounding almost reluctant to admit it was nice. See you in your dreams.
He yawned quietly. "Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised."
If she had a face, she would have smiled knowingly at his words. Oh, but she would have a face, soon. Just not strictly 'real' . . .
Lock Pick the thief walked unsteadily through his dreamscape. He wasn't aware of this however; as most ponies are, he was ignorant to the incredible things that apparently happened to him there. His body flickered and warped from the lack of mental focus, as did the scenery around him.
He stared listlessly, plodding aimlessly ahead.
Then he saw it: a small log cabin in the distance. Impossible to miss, it was an island of tangible in the sea of formless. An anchor in his dream.
In his dream.
Dream.
He was dreaming.
That epiphany caused a wave of panic in his mind - and the dreamscape was his mind, after all. He glanced around in fear as the turbulent haze increased its convulsions in tempo, streaks of angry colors staining this way and that in impossible ways.
"Get in here!" a voice called. He whirled to the source, the figure of a pony standing in the doorway of the cabin barely visible through the maelstrom.
He wasted no time in sprinting for the cabin, his bodily features beginning to take solid form as he spared a brief look down at himself. Closing his eyes as the storm of his mind worsened, he tripped on the doorway and went sprawling inside. The other pony slammed the door shut a moment later, before helping him to his feet.
"Who are you?" he gasped, without looking up. "Is this really a dream?"
"The one and only." the mysterious pony said, doing a little curtsy. Lock Pick finally stopped wheezing long enough to take a look.
The unicorn mare was of almost oddly average build and height. Her coat was, as far as he could tell, completely white: yet there was something just out of his comprehension that stopped him from tacking a 'pure' before the color. It was . . . off. Like the rest of her palette.
Her light grey mane was mostly tied up into a knot, with two pins sticking out. The rest flopped lazily around her face, loosely combed to either side. Her tail hung down into curly tips, two distinct shapes separated by a small tie. Finally, a short black cape hung over her back and rear half, barely reaching down to her hind legs.
Her eyes were green.
". . . recognize me?" she asked with a soft smile.
"Let me think." he responded, putting a thoughtful hoof to his chin. "You're just some dream projection, but I can't remember ever seeing you before."
She laughed airily. "Oh, don't be so sure."
"Pardon?" he said, thoroughly confused by the whole situation by now.
"I wouldn't be surprised." she said in a comically deep voice, clearly mimicking somepony.
See you in your dreams!
I wouldn't be surprised . . .
Something clicked in the thief's mind. A bolt of thunder-less lightning flashed by the window. "Are you . . ."
The mare rolled her eyes. "I'm the amulet, dolt."
His eyes widened. "What, what? B-but you're a pony!" he stammered out, taking a step back.
She gave him a pointed look.
"This is weird," he began, before breaking out into a huge grin, "in an amazing way."
She nodded proudly. "Five-hundred years of work payed off."
Her voice was silvery, practically shimmering in the dreamscape.
"So. This is a first." he observed, trading stares with the amulet. Was that the correct term now?
"Yeah. It's nice to have somepony to share this place with." she said, gesturing around at the rustic surroundings.
"Seat?" he asked, pointing a hoof at a small table just below the window. Two rugged wooden chairs rested on either side of it.
She bobbed her head affirmatively, and the two silently sat down, sparing occasional glances at each other.
"I didn't expect this." Lock Pick confessed, breaking the silence. "I've never remember my dreams."
"You'd better remember this dream." she growled seriously, then brightened up. "I do love having a body, even if it's not actually real. Almost as much as existing."
"Yeah." he said, shaking his head. Noticing the concerned expression on the amulet's face, he explained, "I'm still just trying to come to terms with this."
"Liberating an amulet, unwittingly robbing a bank, fighting a Royal Guard, making an enemy of Princess Celestia . . ." she guessed, trailing off when the thief shook his head vigorously.
"No, no. I was talking about finding out an amulet I stole is sentient, having a conversation with her, and meeting her in a dream." he said, staring at her. "Not bad for a day's work."
"Let me take a shot in the dark." she said, flicking her mane back. "You don't get out that often?"
"I'm a thief. Being sociable isn't exactly one of the perks of my job." he muttered. "Anyway, I get out very often."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Get out from shops when angry owners come chasing after me swinging around the contents of their kitchen utensil cupboards." he said seriously.
The mare laughed heartily at that, and the thief's stoic expression broke quickly. The two laughed together, genuine smiles on their faces. A laugh of two creatures quite unused to laughing with another to share their joy.
"That's the first time I've laughed in a few hundred years." the amulet observed after their guffaws and quieted into mere giggles.
"I can't reme-" the thief stopped in mid-speech, his face frozen. The mare slowly turned to face where he was staring, the window.
Princess Celestia stood outside the window. She seemed just as surprised as the two criminals - other than her slightly disturbed expression.
Her horn glowed, and the alicorn disappeared.
Lock Pick blinked. "Did I just imagine that?" he asked, shaking slightly.
The mare waved away the memory breezily. "Probably just a mental projection of yours." she stated. "Cards?"
"Sure, Amulet." Lock Pick said, reaching over for the deck of cards lying on the shelf behind him.
"Amulet?" she asked with a bemused, yet not entirely displeased expression.
"You said it was a pretty name. I tend to agree." he said, shuffling the cards as best he could.
"That I did." Amulet admitted.
~
Celestia strolled out of the royal chambers, majestic and troubled.
Her sister trotted up excitedly. "Dearest sister! We managed to locate where the dark magician and Sombra's amulet went!" she exclaimed happily. "We're waiting for your word. Ohh, we haven't faced off with a villain in a thousand years!"
"No." the Princess of the Sun stated forcefully. "Not yet."
"Sister?" Luna asked, noticing Celestia's troubled face.
"Dark magic is not all that we think." Celestia said, turning to face her sister.
"Is it in our place to ask?" Luna said slowly.
"They were laughing. Laughing with not a trace of malice." Celestia said softly. "I have some thinking to do."
"Aw, shoot." Lock Pick muttered, tossing his last cards to the mare in front of him. "If you tell me this game of 'War' wasn't rigged, you're lying."
Amulet gave him a pouting smile. "Sore loser." she said, then her smile faded slightly. "Well, at least I have somepony to lose to me, after all."
"Yeah, yeah." he groaned, leaning back in his seat precariously.
"This is only slightly surreal." she observed, shuffling the cards again.
"You tell me." the thief said.
"What?"
He raised an eyebrow, thoughtful. "What do you want from this?"
"You not throwing me away?" she asked, her face and voice flat.
"Kind of. More like . . . what do you want with life?" he asked, waving his hooves around grandly.
"Existing." she replied automatically.
"Yeah, but you need something to keep you going, y'know?" he said, shaking his head. He clearly wasn't getting the point he wanted across.
"Being here, having a body, talking with you - what makes you think I'm not happy?" she said, tapping her chin slowly.
"Long term. You know, what're we gonna do when wake up? Try and rob another bank?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "Because we both know of well that worked out for us last time."
"Well . . ." Amulet trailed off.
"Celestia'd be on us in moments." he stated firmly.
"I dunno, knock down old ladies as they cross the street?" he wondered aloud, disturbingly seriously.
He gave her a pointed look. "No."
She huffed. "Fine. I can't help it, you know."
"Being flippantly cruel?" he asked.
"Kind of. It's the whole reason I exist, remember?" she reminded him with a sigh. "I honestly don't care for it anymore, but it's like being sociable for ponies. It's just part of my nature."
"Knocking down old ladies?"
"I'm dark magic with a voice. My solutions are impulsively hurtful, but my conscious thinking's just fine." she said sadly.
He nodded. "I see . . ."
"So." She said, clearly uncomfortable with the direction their conversation was taking. "About these goals . . ."
He glanced outside the window at the shifting expanse of the dreamscape. After a few moments, he turned back to her with new resolve in his eyes. "Can you describe picking this up?" he asked, nudging a stack of playing cards over to her.
She lifted up the stack cautiously, and stared at him expectantly. "What, am I doing something wrong?"
"What do you feel?" he repeated.
"Uh . . ." she trailed off, awkwardly running a hoof through her mane.
"Even here," he picked up a card of his own, "I feel it. Everything! Every inch of my skin feels."
Amulet nodded slowly, then punched herself in the face. "I felt that." she deadpanned.
"Yeah, but . . ."
"But what?"
"I can't help but feel you're missing out on so much." he said in an almost confessional tone of voice. "Being a disembodied voice in my head, after all."
"I feel everything you feel." she said after a long pause. "I'm not hopelessly naive."
"Oh." Lock Pick said more than a little dejectedly. "Wait . . . though . . . augh, it's hopeless."
"Spit it out." Amulet ordered. "You've been beating around the bush so long there must be a mile-wide wasteland around it."
"I was going to help find you a body." he said.
Amulet's eyes actually widened at that bombshell. She opened her mouth, then closed it before she could speak.
"I know, pretty stupid right?" the thief sighed. "If we see an old lady on the street, then . . ."
"No. Nononono." she stammered. "That's really, really nice of you."
He raised an eyebrow.
Shaking her head, she continued, "I mean, why'd you want to do that for me? We just got acquainted a day ago."
"You say you fear not existing, and you can't move!" Lock Pick exclaimed, surprised at the vigor evident in his voice. "You can't do anything without others, and you're being hunted down because of something you had no control over!"
". . . and?"
"I- well, no thinking thing, pony or amulet, should have to go through that. I guess finding a way to give you a body was a pretty stupid solution, but I digress. I'm not the best planner." he explained.
That seemed kind of weak. He's hiding something.
When he gave her a pointed look, she blushed and turned away. "I guess mind-reading works both ways." she muttered.
"No, no." he said hurriedly. "So, what do you think?"
He's hiding something.
An uncomfortable silence passed between them, before Amulet slowly smiled and got up from her chair. "Murky motives aside, this is the nicest thing anypony's done for me."
"Even Sombra, for creating you?" Lock Pick asked, getting up as well.
She responded by suddenly rushing forwards and embracing the earth pony. Even in the hazy world of his dreamscape, it was a pleasant feeling. He hugged back, glad he wasn't an absolute fool for his efforts. This time. Oh, mom . . .
Amulet didn't seem to notice that last thought, though. "Sometimes I used to curse him for doing that." she whispered softly. "Well, not anymore."
~
In the clearing, the thief woke up, and sprung to his hooves immediately. He started for the city vaguely visible through the trees, with a tangible sense of purpose in his step.
