Chapter 17: Night Talk and Fencing
Chapter 17: Night Talk and Fencing
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
Chrysalis certainly didn’t hate her sleeping accommodations. In fact, her bed was extraordinarily comfortable, the pillow gave just the right support, the sheets had a luxurious texture, and the blanket was not too warm, but not too cold.
But she certainly was suspicious of the alicorn sleeping in the bed to her right, back turned to her. Celestia had been silent, never intruding into Chrysalis’s space. It was Chrysalis’s only relief, but then… why did she have the feeling that Celestia was not giving her space to comfort her?
Chrysalis’s intuition was quite good. Alternia was terrified that her sister would come out and stab her in the back. It was all she could do to stay still in her bed and turn her back to her sister. Of course, she hadn’t wanted to do that, but it was to turn her back to Chrysalis, or stare at her sister with wide eyes. At the same time, the changeling-in-disguise berated herself. She knew that her fear and even her anger, was irrational. She knew that Chrysalis wouldn’t be so stupid to attack her now, and after dinner… Alternia couldn’t reasonably see her sister as the vengeful queen she had faced so long ago. In fact, Alternia’s personal reflections were forcing her to remember that Chrysalis had never, at least not initially meant to kill her mother. Grief and rage drove her sister, and admittedly herself, to throw themselves at each other with the intent to kill. It was a sobering thought that cleared Alternia’s thoughts of any anger she had long held against her older sibling.
It was her fear that was another issue entirely. No matter how Alternia tried, she could not forget that her sister tried to kill her.
“Still awake, Celestia?” quipped Chrysalis.
“Yes, although I was about to fall asleep.” The princess’s voice was neutral, but the changeling could hear the strain in it.
Chrysalis chortled, “I don’t think so… are you scared, Princess?”
“I thought you could sense emotions, Your Highness. Why don’t you answer that question yourself?” said Celestia bluntly. Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, the alicorn appear to pulling up her blanket as if to shield herself. Her curiosity aroused, Chrysalis extended her senses to Celestia and chuckled. The princess, beneath her facade, was again engulfed with a melee of emotions, anger and fear being the foremost of them. The anger though, had lessened greatly from when she had first talked with Celestia, but the fear remained.
The changeling almost giggled quietly, until she fell head first into the abyss. Confusion was followed by horror and then uncontrollable hysteria as every one of Chrysalis’s senses were silently, abruptly, severed. For one horrifying moment, Chrysalis saw no light, heard no sound, breathed no more, felt nothing. She was dead.
Gasping, Chrysalis withdrew. The changeling sprang up in her bed, backing away from the alicorn. There was fear, and there was Celestia’s fear. In her long years as queen, Chrysalis had never felt anything like it.
“What… in the name of Tartarus’s bowels was that?” stammered Chrysalis. The alicorn was silent, enigmatic as ever, but to the changeling’s keen eyes, the tightly wound sheets and the depression in her pillow made Celestia look as if she was trying to burrow into her bed. In fact, Celestia looked… vulnerable, something Chrysalis would not normally associate with the princess.
“Answer me, Celestia! What could I have done to you to make you so afraid of me?”
Alternia had no reply to the changeling’s question. What could she say? How could she ever explain to her sister her fear of her? Could Alternia ever describe the fear that haunted her dreams for endless nights, or the terror that held her heart like a cold cradle of knives?
“You’ve impersonated my niece and locked her in the caves to starve, and then did the exact same thing to my beloved protege. You’ve attacked my beloved ponies and the city they call home. You’ve played me like a fool, and defeated me. What reason could I possibly have to not be afraid of you?” snorted Alternia, in an attempt to deflect her sister’s attention.
“You’re avoiding the question, Celestia. Answer it,” demanded the queen.
Alternia groaned inwardly. There was just no dissuading her sister! Why did Chrysalis had to be so persistent at times? The masked changeling had been backed into a corner, but she could hardly admit that Chrysalis had tried to kill her.
Choosing her words carefully, Alternia slowly began. “I’m afraid you will stab me in the back and kill me as I sleep. Because…” Alternia winced.
“Because what?” asked Chrysalis, curious.
“Because my greatest fear is dying in my sleep,” spat out Alternia.
That night, one thousand years ago, Alternia had almost slipped into darkness. It was true that the real Celestia had saved her life, but for that brief moment, Alternia had been engulfed in total darkness. At the time, Alternia had simply accepted it. Yet, in the nights that followed, the changeling could not forget how completely helpless she had been in the face of death. In that void, there was no clever solution, no escape path, no light at the end of the tunnel, and remembering it terrified the changeling.
“Oh… I’m sorry for prying,” apologized Chrysalis awkwardly. Alternia said nothing, but she was sure her sibling could practically see the waves of indignant anger and shame that flowed off her concealed carapace.
So what her sister said next completely shocked Alternia.
“You know, I’m afraid of dying as well,” said the changeling queen.
Chrysalis’s reluctant admission yanked Alternia from focusing on her own embarrassment, and caused the changeling to frown. This was new to Alternia. She never knew her sister was afraid of death.
“You know… a lot of ponies and changelings say that they can see their loved ones as they pass on,” said Chrysalis slowly. Alternia nodded, a guess on her lips, but unwilling to interrupt her sister.
There was a pause as Chrysalis, before the queen blurted out, “I’m afraid of seeing my mother.”
“Why?” asked Alternia abruptly, her ears straight as arrows, ready to catch her sister’s answer. For a moment, there was silence as Chrysalis hesitated yet again. When her sister continued her voice was forlorn, swallowed by the chamber.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, Princess. Canterlot was one of them. But that wasn’t my biggest one. I’m afraid of what my mother will say to me when I see her.”
Alternia frowned and extended her own changeling senses to her sister. As she began to feel the emotions her sister was giving off, she froze. What the changeling saw confirmed a sneaking suspicion that had been building in Alternia, but she was still unprepared for what she saw.
The changeling-in-disguise expected sadness and guilt, but not to this extent. Chrysalis’s emotions could only be described as an eternal rain of tears. The changeling’s regret splashed against Alternia like a downpour of rain. Each drop, a sigh; every sniffle, keen wails of anguish; and every sob, a moment spent in silent, lonely, sorrow.
Alternia wasn’t sure what exactly were Chrysalis’s feelings to her own supposed death, but the events of the evening and her own sisters emotions washed that question away. The changeling could not help, but sympathize with her sister’s fear. Chrysalis loved their mother dearly, but in a twisted manner. The coup had been Chrysalis’s way of proving her love to Chamelia.
Despite the anger that nagged at her, Alternia turned over to face her sister, an understanding, yet melancholic smile on her features.
“Chrysalis, I think your mother would be proud that you care so much for your daughter and your hive,” spoke Alternia, sincerely. Though, she had to suppress the urge to smirk, as she took in Chrysalis’s wide-eyed stare.
“You really think so?” asked Chrysalis.
Alternia was slightly taken aback by the question, and closed her eyes to buy some more time. It was a question she hadn’t truly considered in a while. She had been so afraid of Chrysalis, so certain that she would have to fight her sister and that she needed to to avenge her mother…
But had the changeling really asked if her mother would have wanted vengeance?
Quietly, Alternia recalled her mother’s love for her, and her sisters, especially for Chrysalis. After all that Chrysalis did, after she had killed her, would Chamelia be angry at her eldest child or not? Would Chamelia in any circumstance, forgive Chrysalis.
An answer, lay clear in Alternia’s mind, an answer she found difficult to accept, but one that resonated with her, and built upon everything she had learnt about her sister this evening. The changeling opened her eyes.
“I’m quite sure she would,” said Alternia, for she knew that Chamelia loved all of her daughters. She knew that Chamelia would be proud of Chrysalis for her loyalty to her hive and for her care for Lamia. Moreover, Alternia remembered her mother’s dying moments all too well. Chamelia did not curse Chrysalis, neither did she order Alternia to avenge her. All she did was smile sadly, at both of them. Now seeing Chrysalis as truly sorry for having killed Chamelia, Alternia’s hate and anger… was not gone, but some of it was released. For, above all else, Alternia loved her mother and wanted to respect her mother’s will.
Chrysalis regarded the alicorn for a moment. The words that Celestia had spoken were strong with conviction, and comforted the changeling. The changeling’s guilt, for the first time in forever, was slightly assuaged. To make alicorn’s answer even more sincere, was the fact that Celestia’s anger had also inexplicably diminished. Not gone, but it had been released, and sympathy had replaced it.
“Thank you, Princess Celestia,” said Chrysalis.
“Don’t mention it. Now I believe we should get some sleep,” said Alternia, smiling.
Chrysalis chuckled, “As long as you don’t snore.” Celestia giggled, and in that room, for one very moment, the changeling-in-disguise and her sister were thankful of each other’s company.
Which was promptly shattered when the shards of a ear-piercing scream tore through the night.
“Lamia!” shrieked Chrysalis.
Red lights soared toward her. They were beautiful, like great flying torches that lit up the evening sky.
But Lamia screamed. The lights were getting closer, too close. She knew their beauty was merely a sham, a curse. But she couldn’t move, her wings had frozen. She tried to shut her eyes, but couldn’t as the red lights exploded in front of her.
Unbearable heat tore at her face, ripping her apart. She could feel every searing whip of flame that roasted her carapace. She could hear her eye popping like a squashed bug. Her left leg was a torrent of agony. Bitter bile and vomit choked her throat and burnt her tongue. The pain had consumed every fibre of her body, every sense that she had.
A soft lullaby, its words unrecognizable, suddenly cut through her nightmare. The words were unrecognizable and the melody, alien, but the music soothed Lamia’s heart. The pain crushing her body faded away, replaced by the soft, silky texture of blankets. The changeling sighed…
“GET YOUR HOOVES OFF MY DAUGHTER!”
Lamia’s eyes snapped open quickly enough to see her mother charge at Princess Luna, who was standing at her bedside. Lamia could barely get a word out before the alicorn twisted to meet her mother’s charge with her own horn. Even so, Princess Luna was forced several paces back by the enraged Chrysalis.
“Chrysalis, please calm thyself! We did nothing to thy daughter, but banish her nightmares from her sleep!” said Luna, sweat pouring down from her brow.
“You’re lying, Nightmare Moon!” roared Chrysalis.
The regret that twisted Luna’s features made Lamia’s heart skip a beat. At the same time, the young changeling recalled the strange voice in her dream. Princess Luna’s voice matched that exactly.
“Mother, stop! She’s telling the truth! She sang… something in my dream that made the nightmare go away,” said Lamia.
Chrysalis stopped, stepped back from Luna, and glanced at her daughter. “But that’s impossible. You’ve never had nightmares before.”
Lamia swallowed, her nerves getting the better of her. “There is a first time for everything.”
“But this is not the first time, is it?” asked Luna calmly. As silence settled through the room, nopony noticed Princess Celestia arrive at the doorway, accompanied by several guardsponies, all heavily armed and bearing weapons. Seeing that the situation was diffused, Celestia dismissed the ponies with a nod, before trotting into the chamber and closing the double doors.
“I…” Lamia tried not to avert her gaze from the gaze of her elders, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Lady Lamia, for how long have you been dreaming of the day you were crippled?” asked Luna. The alicorn of the night’s eyes were kind, sympathetic and she wore a sad, yet understanding smile. Lamia was struck by how dissimilar this pony was to the Nightmare Moon of legend, despite the two being one and the same.
“In the month after it was every week… then after that, once a week. Now they occur once every month or so,” whispered Lamia.
There was a gasp, Lamia turned to glance at Celestia, but the alicorn’s face was neutral. Still, the changeling could feel Celestia’s pity. Likewise, Luna’s emotions were of a similar nature, but hers were more sympathetic than pitying.
As for her mother, Lamia saw that Chrysalis was frozen in horror. Her jaw working up and down, but only feeble croaks coming from her mouth. Unable to say anything, the changeling sprang forward and embraced Lamia desperately.
“But why…”
“I placed a silencing spell, every night. I didn’t want to worry you,” said Lamia quietly.
Chrysalis groaned, despairingly, muttering something about ‘her brave, foolish, daughter’. When she loosened her hug, she had a fierce gleam in her eyes.
“I am staying with you tonight,” said Chrysalis. Lamia nodded fervently into her mother’s shoulder. Chrysalis returned with a slight smile, but her eyes shot a dagger-like glare at Luna who nodded quickly. The two alicorns hastily retreated, leaving mother and daughter alone.
“What in our mother’s name were we thinking? We should never have forced them to sleep separately,” groaned Luna, her hoof tapping against her forehead repeatedly. The princess of the night had anticipated that some difficulties would be apparent in the change in sleeping arrangements. However, she had never realized that Lamia was still suffering from nightmares due to the incident. If she had known, she would have never separated Lamia from her mother.
“I thought it was a good idea, sister,” said Alternia honestly, in an attempt to console the alicorn.
Luna immediately straightened and stared at Alternia. “Really? Did something happen between you and thy sister?” whispered the alicorn urgently.
“It’s ‘your’ Luna… and the answer to your question is, yes. Chrysalis and I did come to an understanding,” said Alternia.
“And?” The alicorn eagerly examined the changeling-in-disguise’s features. Alternia gestured to her chambers and the pair quickly entered it and closed the door behind them. As soon as they did so, the changeling let out a long sigh.
“I don’t know, Luna. I… don’t think that my mother would have wanted me to kill my sister to avenge her, or at least I’m not sure anymore. But… I’m still mad at Chrysalis and I’m still scared of her,” admitted Alternia.
“For good reason. She did nearly kill thee,” pointed out Luna.
“Precisely! But as you’ve told me, I need to learn to trust her if Equestria is ever going to have peace! And… it’s been a thousand years. Am I a horrible pony for having held such a long grudge? Do I have any reason to hold my sister’s crimes against her, when they were committed such a long time ago? Especially since my sister certainly feels some degree of guilt at least for my mother’s death, if not my own?” asked Alternia. Luna contemplated this question thoughtfully, then looked Alternia in the eye.
“I cannot answer for you Alternia. But I will counsel you to learn more about your sister, as she is now. Try to understand why she did what she did, without revealing your own identity of course. It will also be wise if try to ascertain your sister’s feelings to you before and after you ‘died’. I assure you that you will become less confused in this manner, although I cannot predict what decision you will reach,” Luna answered, sadness clear on her face. Alternia quickly realized that Luna was remembering what she had done to Celestia. So, the changeling stepped in and nuzzled the alicorn. Luna blushed, but smiled all the same.
“Thank you, sister. Your advice was most helpful,” said Alternia.
“It was a pleasure… sister,” replied Luna, extending a wing over the changeling.
Breakfast next morning was quiet, but a great improvement compared to last night’s dinner. Chrysalis and Celestia were discussing regalia design. Luna was was whispering Lamia some advice on how to get a good night’s sleep. However, Shining Armor, Blueblood and Cadance were oddly absent. In fact, it was only after breakfast that the three showed up.
“Your Highnesses, today we shall continue with the discussions of laws pertaining to changelings in Equestria, but in the afternoon, we have planned a series of activities that will hopefully allow all of us to bond in a more informal setting,” announced Blueblood.
“To be precise, we have booked some of Equestria’s best masseuses,” said Cadance, miserably failing to suppress the eagerness in her voice.
“Those who would like to work out the stress of negotiations have free rein over Camp Draco’s exercise facilities, including our duelling halls,” stated Shining Armor.
“Duelling halls?” exclaimed Chrysalis. She hadn’t realized that Celestia and Luna would actually allow the changelings to use those rooms.
“Yes, the rules for any combat that takes place will be explained later. Also, Lady Lamia, I believe you had some trouble getting around recently?” inquired Shining Armor politely.
Lamia frowned slightly, as a demure grey pegasus in a maid’s outfit, stepped from behind Shining Armor and curtsied politely.
“This is Cinder Hooves. She’s been assigned to help you around the camp and assist you as you see fit,” said Shining Armor with a smile. Lamia nodded and smiled gratefully at the unicorn captain. Her mother had a wary look, but didn’t say anything.
“Thank you, Captain Armor. You may rise Cinder Hooves,” said Lamia. The pegasus rose quickly, obviously nervous, which was not surprising, she was a changeling after all. However, she hadn’t expected Cinder to be smiling as she did so. If anything, Lamia was expecting the pegasus to be horrified or scared of her scarred appearance.
“Is there anything you would like me to help you with right now, Lady Lamia?” asked Cinder Hooves quietly.
“Just follow me for now,” said Lamia.
Cinder Hooves, also known as Cyndra, trotted behind her elder sister, wondering how she had managed to keep her emotional turmoil under check. When Celestia had recommended her to Shining Armor, Cyndra had felt equally joyful and terrified. It had been so long since she had seen her older sister, whom she loved so dearly. Cyndra had been Lamia’s playmate, advisor and confidante. In fact, Cyndra would have decided to join Lamia when the time came for her older sister to start a new hive. Of course, that never happened. She had been exiled, but only because Lamia had had pleaded Chrysalis to spare her. Cyndra owed her life to her sister and was determined to aid Lamia in her time of need.
However, it was this past relationship with her sister worried Cyndra. Given how close they had been, Lamia could just as easily become suspicious of her her. However, most of all, Cyndra was terrified of the mother that had exiled her. The desire to run away screaming would not go away from Cyndra’s mind. Every time Chrysalis ever so glanced at her, Cyndra shivered and averted her gaze. In the logical part of her head, Cyndra knew her mother could not possibly know it was her as she had personally severed Cyndra’s link to the hive. Still it was unnerving for the young changeling to be working in such close proximity. Luckily, neither changeling queens had suspected a thing, largely because Cyndra remained quiet, out of notice, but just within sight, a perfect servant. During the negotiations, Lamia had asked Cyndra to fetch writing materials and drinks for her mother, but the changeling hadn’t been required to say anything substantial or interact with her family members.
It was only after lunch, when Cyndra rejoined the diplomats gathered in the dining hall that things got interesting.
“Well, Your Highnesses. I don’t know about you, but I would like to visit your masseuses,” said Chrysalis eagerly. Luna nodded gracefully, although she seemed a bit haggard. The negotiations this time had been much more productive, and the rulers had managed to get past several important issues. These included monitoring changeling entry into Equestria and outlining a program that would promote the participation of changelings in the fashion and modelling industries. Yet, the discussions had been very extensive.
“Mother, you go on ahead. I want to check out the duelling halls and practice a bit. If Shining Armor is not available, Cinder Hooves can be my partner, as I've dueled most of your chevaliers already, and Cinder mentioned to me she knows how to fence.”
Cyndra blushed, but inwardly she cursed. The last thing she wanted to do was duel her beloved sister with the skills she had learnt from her own mother. But she had no choice, unless her mother decided not to allow Lamia to duel... Unfortunately, Chrysalis appeared to be in a strangely good mood.
“Alright, be careful though,” warned Chrysalis as she walked after Celestia and Luna. Shining Armor turned accompany Lamia, but before he could take a step, Cadance whispered into his ear. The stallion blushed, and grinned widely before he shrugged to a giggling Lamia, and followed his wife.
“Well, Cinder Hooves, lets go!”
Camp Draco’s duelling hall was a part of its sports complex, both for diplomats and off-duty soldiers. Off-white, high-ceilinged walls were adorned with Equestrian flags as well as those of several other countries. On the side of the tatami mats that formed the duelling area were low benches with sets of fencing armor stacked on top of them. Separate racks held the rapiers, all blunt practice weapons with round metal balls welded to the top. They were quite safe for challengers to use as long as they wore headgear.
Under the watchful eye of her two accompanying chevaliers, Lamia quickly selected a rapier and twirled it with her telekinesis while putting on the mesh fencing helmet and cloth body armor. Cinder Hooves wasn’t far behind as she pulled on a thick hauberk and fitted her weapon over her right hoof.
“Don’t go easy on me,” said Lamia,on and then raising her weapon to en garde position.
Cyndra cringed. She didn’t want to hurt her sister, but she had been given an order. If her disguise was to hold up, she had to oblige her sister. So she put on her own headgear and pointed her weapon up in salute, and fell into a guard position.
“Good stance,” remarked Lamia. Cinder Hooves’s posture was slightly off, but the changeling suspected it was more due to a lack of practice than from inexperience. For all intents and purposes, the maid must have been trained quite well. Time to test that theory.
The changeling queen lunged forward, surprisingly fast for one missing a leg. At once, Cinder Hooves slid back, her right hoof twisting her rapier so it parried the blow. Immediately, Lamia followed up her attack with a stab at the pegasus’s mid-section.
Long unused reflexes made Cyndra clumsily roll left and almost topple. But with the help of her wings, the changeling surged back onto her feet and managed to dodge her sister’s followup cut. Charging forward, Cyndra swung her rapier in a low cross-slash, aiming at her sister’s foreleg.
Lamia hadn’t expected that particular move coming and was caught off balance. She was forced to use her wings to lift her into the air to dodge that slash. A whistle of bladesong alerted Lamia to her opponent’s attack, which to the queen’s alarm, was aimed at her head. Somehow, by twisting her neck and putting all her weight on her back hooves, Lamia just managed to evade the wild swing. Seeing that the pegasus was off balance, Lamia slapped her opponent’s rapier wide away and slid her rapier into place, beside the pegasus’s neck.
“Excellent work.”
Lamia jumped, tried to spin around to see the speaker and promptly lost her balance. As the changeling cried out though, she saw a golden aura envelop her body and then set her back on her hooves.
“Are you alright?” asked Alternia, examining her sister’s eldest daughter up close. The young changeling queen nodded, a bemused expression on her face. Alternia wasn’t surprised. She was just on her way to join Cadance at the massage parlor when had heard the sound of blades meeting. Unable to resist her curiosity, she had silently watched Cyndra and Lamia fence.
In all honesty, Alternia was quite impressed by the skills of Chrysalis’s daughters. Despite her injured horn, Lamia’s telekinetic use of her blade was very good. Her mobility, though, was severely limited, as was her balance. In contrast, Cyndra had fast reflexes that were matched by her ability to respond to those reflexes. However, her skill with the blade left something to be desired.
A cunning plan emerged in the disguised changeling queen’s mind, and after a moment’s hesitation Alternia opened her mouth.
“Lady Lamia, would you like to have a duel with me?” inquired Celestia, picking up one of the practice rapiers.
Lamia gaped at Celestia, something that was reflected by the observing changeling chevaliers.
“Yes, please,” spoke the changeling, before she could regret it. Celestia smiled, slid on a protective vest and eye-shield (her horn was too long for the typical fencing masks), and stepped onto the fencing mat. Lamia checked the straps of her helmet, before raising her own rapier.
“I’ve always liked the rapier, although it is not an offensive weapon,” stated Celestia as she raised her weapon to salute Lamia. The changeling queen did likewise and let her rapier fall to en garde position.
“But the rapier is a weapon, therefore it should be offensive, right?” asked Lamia, swinging her weapon casually. In contrast, Celestia remained completely motionless, her body held in perfect posture.
“Oh the rapier is a weapon, but you do not win fights with it offensively,” said Alternia mischievously. Lamia and Cyndra both frowned at the same time, and Alternia had a moment to reflect on the similarities between the sisters.
“Really?” questioned Lamia. She stepped forward, closer to Celestia, her rapier outstretched, and then she hopped back. Again, she stepped forward, and back, testing her opponent’s range. Yet, the alicorn didn’t move.
Cyndra felt an uneasy feeling in her gut as Lamia prodded and poked Celestia’s boundaries. There was something dangerous about the alicorn, despite the fact she hadn’t even done anything. It was like the alicorn had suddenly become a tiger ready to pounce. Her elder sister seemed to have felt the same thing as well because the confident smile on Lamia’s face had been replaced with a nervous grimace.
Out of nowhere, Cyndra felt the urge to flee from Celestia. As her sister took another step forward, Cyndra screamed, “Lamia wait!”
Lamia’s eyes widened as Celestia’s rapier shot forward like a flash of lightning. To her alarm, the queen realized she couldn’t step back as she had just shifted her weight onto her forward hoof. In the nick of time, Lamia raised her rapier to parry the lunge, but that was only the first of Celestia’s attacks.
Alternia used her superior magic control and balance to launch a continuous series of strikes at Lamia’s legs, forcing the changeling queen to move, which is not easy when you only have three legs. Trotting forward, perfectly balanced on her hooves, the disguised changeling queen pressed onward, not giving Lamia a chance to stop. Yet, although Lamia was constantly retreating, and looked as if she was going to stumble at any moment, she maintained her balance.
“You have excellent defensive skills as well as hoof-eye coordination. Keep it up,” said Alternia as her rapier blurred in a rapid figure-eight maneuver.
Lamia couldn’t reply. All her concentration was focused on placing her hooves carefully, a task becoming increasingly difficult as Celestia sped up her attack.
Parry low, parry high, that’s a feint! Place your hooves, shift your weight, riposte! Thought Lamia as she backed away hastily. Sweat had quickly formed on her brow, and the queen almost slipped, but sheer determination allowed herself to maintain her balance.
Oddly enough, while the princess’s flurry of stabs came at an ever increasing rate, Lamia found herself being able to adjust to the attacks. The changeling queen sidestepped another lunge and finally managed to launch her first counter-strike, but it was gracefully deflected by a tap of Celestia’s weapon.
The changeling queen in disguise allowed herself to smirk as her sister’s daughter sprang back, disengaging from the fight, but almost toppling over in the process. Still, Alternia was impressed by her nie— sister’s daughter. Lamia was nowhere near as good as some of the fencing masters that Alternia had fought, but the younger queen was quickly learning to give ground and defend, despite her disability.
All according to plan.
“Princess Celestia, why aren’t you going all out,” panted Lamia. The changeling queen could not understand how she was surviving against an alicorn with more than a thousand years of combat experience. For some reason, Celestia was holding back from her.
To Lamia’s aggravation, Celestia chuckled. “A fencing duel is in its most basic nature a puzzle. Your opponent being the puzzle and victory being the final result of solving that puzzle. So I am afraid I can’t answer your question. It would deprive you of the fun.”
Lamia grimaced, “Alright then. I guess I’ll have to take drastic measures. Cinder Hooves, would you mind if you help me? You were assigned to obey my orders within reason,” said Lamia sweetly. The changeling wasn’t sure if the pegasus would actually fight her own ruler, but it was worth a try. Cinder Hooves was a good duellist and right now, the changeling needed all the help she could get.
Cyndra jumped. She was not expecting this, and had to bite back her initial instinct to shout ‘yes sister’.
“Um… if it is alright with Your Highness?” asked Cyndra, quite unable to hide the eagerness in her voice. Celestia nodded and Lamia blinked, surprised, but to Cyndra’s relief, she didn’t seem to suspect anything odd. Strangely though, the alicorn’s smile only seemed to widen as Cyndra fastened her fencing helmet and rapier.
“Thank you, Cinder. Try to get an angle on her. I’ll keep the pressure,” said Lamia, grateful to have the pegasus’s help. She didn’t know why Cinder was helping her, but she supposed the pegasus was obeying orders. Lamia also guessed that Cinder was eager to have a chance to fence against Celestia.
“I’m slightly wounded that my own personal maid would fight me,” said Alternia jokingly, sizing up her sister’s two daughters. Admittedly, she was slightly apprehensive about fighting the pair, but Cyndra had been a dear, and far more likeable than she’d anticipated. As for Lamia, Alternia admired the younger changeling queen’s level-headed mind and her courage. Yes, she would not mind fencing with these two changelings.
“It is an honour to duel you, Your Highness,” said Cinder Hooves, saluting. Lamia also saluted, and Alternia followed suit. Before either Lamia or Cyndra could make a move, Alternia charged forward. She wanted to see how her sister’s daughters would counter this.
Horn shimmering, Lamia met the alicorn’s lunge with a rapid parry and quickly blocked Celestia’s second strike to her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Lamia grinned as she saw Cinder Hooves cut back and flank Alternia from the right, her rapier scything toward Celestia’s neck.
Cyndra was thrusting her hoof forward, sure of her strike, but to her surprise, Celestia’s weapon was there to meet it in a clash of tempered steel. The alicorn counter-attacked, stabbing at Cyndra’s weapon arm, but the changeling managed to parry it and return the favor. Rapiers dancing back and forth, the two continued to exchange parries and lunges. But Cyndra was obviously losing. Celestia’s rapier was like a conductor’s baton, dictating the pace and tempo of the fight. Luckily, Cyndra noticed her sister lunge at Celestia, rapier held forward like a lance.
The alicorn’s response was surprising. Her wings flapping almost like she was hovering and her hooftips just scraping the ground, Celestia danced around Lamia, attacking the changeling queen while using her as a shield. The movement was so rapid and so coordinated, Cyndra suddenly found herself fighting thin air.
The two on one duel rapidly descended into a contest of maneuver and encirclement. Alternia would press Lamia back with a flurry of rapid stabs and cuts. Cyndra would attack the changeling-in-disguise, which prompted Alternia to circle around Cyndra and away from Lamia. When Lamia ran in to relieve her partner, Celestia danced past Lamia and away from Cyndra. The sight was not like two cats trying to catch a very elusive mouse.
Suddenly, Celestia fluidly disengaged, batting Cyndra’s rapier wide. The changeling tried to recover her balance, but Celestia’s massive wings flapped hard, throwing a gust of air that tossed Cyndra into her sister. Lamia yelped as Cinder Hooves collided with her, and the two fell over, head over heels, limbs all a tangle.
“Sorry! My bladework is still a bit weak,” groaned the maid ruefully, helping the changeling up.
“Its alright. I wasn’t mobile enough,” said Lamia with a sigh as she pulled off her helmet. Ever since she had lost her leg, she couldn’t really fight like she used to. She simply couldn’t move as fast. In fact, it had been a miracle she had survived so long in the duel against Celestia without falling once.
Lamia blinked and frowned and stared at Celestia questioningly. That didn’t make sense, how could she not have fallen even once. After all, she still had trouble turning around on three hooves!
As Lamia observed the alicorn, she noticed Celestia’s smile was widening.
“Wait… Princess, were you trying to teach us?” gasped Lamia. Cyndra’s eyes widened at the same time, as she realized what had happened.
Alternia grinned, her eyes dancing with glee. A thousand years ago, Alternia she would have never even thought of approaching Chrysalis’s daughters with civility. Yet, she had taught her sister’s daughters despite that. She herself wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was in a strangely good mood after the more successful negotiations. Or, maybe it was due to the sharing she had with her sister last night. Pity, for Lamia’s injuries, and Cyndra’s helpless position, could have been a factor as well.
No matter what the original reason was, Alternia certainly wasn’t regretting it, especially with the looks of astonishment and awe in the two changelings eyes.
“Yes, I was. Lamia, I forced you to move instinctively to help you practice your mobility. You were putting too much thought into placing your hooves, when your conscious mind still thought you had four left. Forcing you to forget everything but staying upright, and away from my blade forced you to adapt.” Alternia then turned to Cyndra. “For Cinder Hooves, my circling strategy allowed me opportunities to test your defenses, while giving you opportunities to attack. That way, you would be able to practice your bladework in both areas.”
Cyndra and Lamia regarded the alicorn for a long moment, aware they were staring, but unable to understand Celestia’s actions. Lamia couldn’t understand why Celestia would teach Chrysalis’s daughter to fight. The princess’s somewhat manipulative method was not unexpected to Lamia — her mother had warned her that Celestia was a chessmaster — but the informative and friendly manner Celestia had conducted the impromptu lesson was a shock to Lamia.
If her elder sister was confused, Cyndra was boggled. Celestia had knowingly addressed her and her sister’s weaknesses. Not only that, she had forced them to confront their weaknesses, but she had done so in the most fun and informative way possible. It had been a long time since Cyndra was this tired, but at the same time, she felt ecstatic that she was able to help her sister, even though she was behind her disguise.
“Thank you, Princess,” spoke Cyndra and Lamia at the same time. The two stopped and glanced each other, grinning sheepishly, much to Alternia’s amusement. The changeling knew that someday, Cyndra would have to tell Lamia and Chrysalis, but for now, this moment, Alternia was glad to give the two sisters a chance to spend some time together.
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I'm just eagerly awaiting Alternia revealing herself to her sister...
Have a feeling that Alternia is going to come out to Chrysalis sometime during this meeting...
I can't wait for Cyndra and Lamia to be reunited, I'm hoping it's going to be touching and not tragic. :)
4133971
As much as I agree with you there, I hope she does not. It will be most effective if Chrysalis does not find out and if the real Celestia returns in the near future. Although I think she'll be in for a bit of emotional discomfort since she'll have to suffer through a nice little dumping of recent memory (say a thousand years...) so she can rule properly.
Kind of random here, but I wonder if Celestia/Luna will grant Alternia the title of Princess... I mean another co-ruler could make things awkward, but assuming changeling/pony relations work out well it could be in their favor to have a changeling queen in their court. It would probably go aways to making the changelings feel welcome in Equestrian society and give them someone to go to who will be responsive to their needs.
4133969 4134023 All in good time. For both sets of sisters.
4133971 4134044
All in good time... I have a plan... but so far, nobody has pinpointed the reveal yet. Nobody at all, ever.
It should the "that the three" instead of "that three", and also there is, strangely, a random period all by itself after the paragraph.
Oh no the fun will be doubled!
It's nice to get a slice of life chapter every once in awhile.
I gotta say, this is the story I most look forward to seeing updates from. It made me happier just seeing the newest chapter show up on my feed.
I got the reveal:
Celestia never dissapeared. This is Celestia possing as a Changelling possing as Celestia to make Equestria and changellings allies
On a more serious note, the duel was wonderfully written. Hope I get to see more fighting, although I dont get why a magic user would limit itself to using a single weapon at a time, specially those as powerfull as Alternia.
...
*starts applauding*
I am beyond coherently expressing how awesome this is right now.
I just want to point out that we've never seen (at least I don't remember ever seeing) Celestia trot anywhere. She's always walking, striding, or some other less energetic form of moving (never mind that time she leapt across the library).
You perspective was very jumbled this chapter. Several times you simply said 'the changeling' for a specific individual when there were multiple changelings present in both the room and the paragraph. You flip back and forth between Alternia and Celestia in one paragraph like this;
this is all one sentence and should be all one perspective but if you are going to use 'Alternia' for the third party reader perspective you shouldn't be using Celestia. Using 'Celestia' to refer to her says to us, the readers, that the story is currently from the perspective of someone who doesn't know the truth.
This? It completely destroyed my immersion. This red bit simply SCREAMED to me that Lamia knew Cinder was a changeling. Frankly after having finished and confirming beyond a doubt that she didn't know... the underlined bit feels like I was watching a movie and the movie stopped, the director walked on camera, and loudly announced a element of subtext that he felt the audience was too stupid to get, before resuming the movie.
The suspense feels so gooood but so baaaaaaaa-
Nice chapter.
Thanks.
Fucking rapier spam cancer. R2 and instakill.
HUZZAH! UPDATE!
4134283
There were supposed to be multiple perspectives, difficult for any author to pull off and since i'm not a complete boss... i'm afraid it sometimes gets a bit jumbled. I used 'the changeling' because it would have repeated the names too much. Admittedly it had some bad side-effects.
Well that sentence was a derp on part of me and my pre-readers. However, my writing is NOT on third person omniscient, but third person limited (not limited omniscient (its a paradox), just limited). The use of 'Celestia' was exactly meant to imply that that particular character does not know the truth.
Okay, take a breather... then read the sentence again. First off, this is from Lamia's perspective. Sorry if I was not clear on that. From Lamia's perspective, when you read the sentence, the changeling that Lamia is referring to is herself. Lamia is anticipating that Cinder Hooves/Cyndra will be scared of her because LAMIA is a changeling. Even without knowing its from Lamia's perspective, I thought and my pre-readers thought it was clear. Yes it does sort of break flow, and its meant to do so because its a comment on Lamia's part within her mind. Could it have been worded better yes.
I do appreciate pointing that out though, much as I would have wished you could have perhaps explained what the chapter did well as well as what it did badly?
Excellent fencing lesson from Alternia to her nieces. I can't wait to see any further bonding between them. I do hope the idiot who attacked Lamia gets caught soon, maybe Luna caught a glimpse of them in the nightmare and can start tracking the culprit down so we can see some good old frontier justice???? Personally I'd say let every member of the negotiating parties go to town on the idiot, heal them up, between bouts, and when all is said and done, have Luna give the culprit nightmares of being on the receiving end of the attack on Lamia and feeling what she felt.
I wouldn't be surprised if Alternia has to reveal her true form to save Chrysalis or Lamia from an assassin. Same for Cyndara.
4134283 lamia doesn't know that cinder is cyndra so it is pretty obvious that she it think the being a changeling herself will scare the 'pegasus' cinder hooves
4134203 because using more weapons against adversaries that can't hope to match her when she's using one isn't sporty and would get in the way of the lesson that she was trying to teach?
I just love this chapter. That's my kind of slice of life.
Plus , I really like Lamia (need more Lamia-Shining bonding , these two are cute together)
Unless Lamia took lessons from The Rainbow Dash , "the" here seem uncessessary.
4134283
I'm going to disagree with you on both points. My reasoning for this: context.
On your first point I had no issue with the presented perspective and had no problems following it. In particular is the example you used; The subject is as you said Alternia/Celestia. And that is exactly why the sentence works. She is not two separate entities, Alternia and Celestia, she is both. In the context of the sentence in question Alternia is the one fighting and being flanked, but it is Celestia's neck that is under attack and not Alternia's.
On your second point the issue is missing the context of the sentence. Everything in that sentence is definitely from Lamia's perspective;
"The pegasus rose quickly, obviously nervous..." Lamia notes that the maid rises quickly and is obviously nervous.
"...which was not surprising, she was a changeling after all." Lamia is unsurprised that the maid is nervous because she, Lamia, is a changeling.
"However, she hadn’t expected Cinder to be smiling as she did so." Lamia is then surprised because the maid is smiling.
So as far as I can see all that's happened is that you got a little mixed up due to the multi-layered nature of the changelings that we, the readers, know are disguised. Happens to all of us sometimes.
4134527
I know, the story has made that quite clear. It actually contributes to the problem because we know the perspective changes so we pay more attention to the small details to make sure we keep up with it.
I... never said it was in Third Person Omniscient. I only said that it was in third person.
Yeah, ok. To me it read as part of the narrative not as an internal thought. Trying to parse it as narrative had me analyzing every little thing to confirm that Lamia knew instead of flowing through the rest of the chapter. As thought it makes much more sense.
Oh, I knew that part was suppossed to be from Lamia's perspective. That's why I didn't identify it as an active internal thought, I'm used to the perspective character's thoughts being italic... or separated in some way at least. Plus that 'thought' has Lamia referring to herself in second person as 'she'... most folks don't think about themselves in second person.
Um, all those things I didn't say were bad?
I'm not going to waste my time doing that long a post if the rest of the chapter was only 'meh'. It's only worth the hassle to type that much on the 'bad' if the rest is 'good'.
Slice of Life with swords is the best kind of Slice of Life.
A nice little ending note, and very fun bit of dancing at the end.
4134527
Just going to jump in here on one of your points and say that replacing character names with adjectives is almost invariably a bad idea unless you're specifically drawing attention to that trait for the scene, and only in moderation even then. The Site Writing Guide says it better than I ever could, but using names in text isn't annoying, it's invisible. Names, along with dialogue tags, go into the approximately half of text that the brain reads and immediately discards after receiving context for the half that's actually interesting, so trying to spice it up, as it were, just draws attention to the boring parts of prose that readers would otherwise glance over and forget, generally to the detriment of the piece as a whole.
Just something to keep in mind. Hope this was helpful.
I think that you meant to say, "not unlike".
I thought that this was a very good chapter.
4134203 using magic on multiple objects splits one's concentration, and during a fight, that can make all the difference
You seriously need to stop with all of this. Alternia is just too damn amazing to not be canon.
4134697
I would have expected Lamia, a changelling princess, to compensate for her lack of mobility by perfecting the control over her magic.
Also, in the fight between Alternia and Chrysalis in chapter 7, each of them was using a single weapon.
4135726
If Twilight can move an ursa minor, milk a herd of cows, move a water tank, and make music using air currents at the same time, I wouldnt think that using more than 1 weapon at the same time would be impossible. But I get your point. Besides, it would prolly be a lot harder to write, and would make the fight harder to follow for the readers.
4134086 Woops... I"ll fix it.
4134089 Yes it shall be.
4134163 Think I've been going on Slice of Life a little long though... no worries...
4134180 And its always great to receive encouragement.... and occasionally criticism from my fans.
4134203 First off... Nope, you haven't guessed it. Keep trying.
As for magic weapons... 4136288 4136288 4134697 4135726 For a combination of reasons, I used only one weapon and have been using one weapon. In the past sequence with Alternia vs. Chrysalis, it was all they could handle optimally at the time, that means one weapon was the most efficient way to fight, although they could use more than one.
Obviously, Cyndra can only use one in her pegasus form and her magic control wouldn't be good enough to handle more than one weapon. Lamia's magic power (note: this is in my head) is not affected, but some of her finesse has been damaged by her horn's injuries. Wielding more than one weapon would be taxing on her magic and concentration. Alternia can wield more than one weapon, but for the purposes of training and fun, she can wield one faster, far more impressive and in a more mobile way... not to mention two would be a little overpowered for her against a crippled changeling and a pegasus. It really wouldn't be much of a duel if Alternia picked up 5-10 rapiers and shot them at her sister's daughters LOL XD. Also... yes its easier to write, so why bother adding another weapon?
4134206 Thanks
What exactly was awesome about it?
4134242 ? I thought trotting was pony form of walking at a somewhat brisk pace or medium pace. but then again.. we really haven't seen her walking like that either... so you may be onto something...
4134486
Thanks.
4134492 ...
Critique me however you like, but keep the comments civil and without the swear words. There are minors who use this site. Also, rapiers and fencing/duelling is an approved, popular sport, with themes of finesse, deception and grace, all of which are admired by Equestrians and particularly changelings, hence is a perfect bridging ground between the two races.
4134507 Congrats, hope I fulfilled your expectations.
4134595 All in good time and in the way I choose. Though I must say I didn't expect so much outrage/outcry+ love+popularity for Lamia... a supporting character.
4134689 You're right as detailed in other comments I wrote.
4134709 Excellent! I'm glad I managed to pull it off well because the chapter seemed a bit sedate for my taste.
4135035 Your reasoning's fair enough, though I and a few others disagree.
Also:
I don't know your thought processes. Absence of saying its meh or good or whatever really leaves the overall impression of how the chapter affected you up in the air. That's why I said it would have been nice to at least comment on whether you meh'd liked or disliked the chapter in general. Still, its your comment, this is for future reference for other authors.
4135124 Agreed.
4134743 Took the words right out of my mouth. Have a pinkie
4135337 Exactly what I was aiming for
4135669 That was some helpful advice... that I heard before... that I'm not being reminded of...
. Thanks.
4135687 Argh... wooops.
4135902 Alternia and I are ecstatic you've said that. Seriously, thanks a bunch for your support. I wish she was canon... but I'll have to contend with being a AU fanfic author with a bunch of loyal fans
4136972 Methinks 4134492 was making a Dark Souls reference.
Also, for a supporting character, I really like Lamia, too. She's just really sweet.
Good old Alternia, generating teaching moments when you least expect them!
Keep going! ;)
Was I the only one expecting Luna to quip "The fun has been doubled" when Cyndra joined the duel?
4136972
Well, you gave her a bit of tragic backstory, she's fairly nice and thus easy to like, and you gave us a righteous target of anger in the idiot who maimed her. What's not to love???? Plus her relationship with her mother helps show that Chrysalis isn't just a tyrant and open to being a better ... uh... pony
... person
... 
I give up
4134709 Is it wrong to think the three of them could form a trio??? I mean, there's THIS
4136972
Nah. Trotting is the pony equivalent of jogging.
Which does raise the question of why everypony jogs everywhere in the show, though I think it's due to the motion being rather cute on a little pastel pony.
It just hit me how ridiculously complicated this story must be to write.
You've got at least two changelings in disguise, only one of whom knows about the other, and three changeling queens, one of whom is also in disguise and another who is the only actual queen, except all three are called queens because changelings apparently don't have princesses, even though one is also a princess (again, one of three), and all four presently-important changelings (so far) are directly related to Chrysalis (in Chrysalis' case, very directly). Also, both disguised changelings (one of whom is one of three queens and princesses) are called by different names depending on whether the current viewpoint-character is aware of their true identity.
Add to this another faction of changelings with more disguises, at least one more hive with more queens and disguises, and Blueblood who is so pampered that he may as well be another princess!
Go ahead, make this more confusing! I dare you!
Whoa, great chapter!
4136972
Luna was awesome being the Princess of the Night and helping Lamia with her nightmares.
So awesome!
Alternia was awesome being a devious chessmaster by giving Lamia Cyndra in disguise for a personal servant.
The duel scene was double awesome because it involved fancy fencing and Alternia being Celestia-like.
The real Celestia will return and then the cat will be out of the bag. That's how the reveal is going to go isn't it?
Evil laughter.
Gotta say that duel kinda left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. Let's put the fact that Lamia should harbor at least some suspicion of Celestia aside and put Alternia's train of though at the front. Ok, the night before, the whole trust sleeping exercise was cancelled because of Lamia's nightmarish recollection of the day she was crippled. Now what idiot, especially of the royal variety, would think it's a good idea to go and challenge the cripple the very next day to a bloody duel!
First off, this has an incredible amount of potential to go very wrong, undoing everything Alternia has done so far and for what? Some stupidly timed lesson?! There's a time and place for that shit, and in the middle of the peace talks with the changelings isn't it!
Also why does Lamia not have guards? After the night before, I was quite frankly surprised Chrysalis let her daughter out of her sight, but to let her go wander off to go dual is beyond stupid! What makes it worse is she doesn't even order any guards to protect her daughter and make sure it doesn't get out of hand.
What makes it worse is Alternia can somehow dual two opponents using rapiers. (this is damn near impossible in real life due to how fast those swords are and how fast they can change direction. So Mary Sue point for Alternia for being able to pull off shit that shouldn't really be possible. On top of that she can't even fight them on even ground. Nope, She has to start flying, which neither Cyndra nor Lamia can do (Thanks to Celestia's ponies mind you!) and eventually blows Cyndra into Lamia with her wings and is insufferable enough to treat the whole thing as a lesson. And what is this lesson?!
fc06.deviantart.net/fs41/f/2009/011/2/b/FFFFuklaw_by_Gannadene.jpg
You do NOT lecture people on how they deal with their handicap when it was your people that made them that way to begin with! Alternia has no right to teach her that, I don't care how little a detail this may seem! Chrysalis or Cyndra can, but never Alternia. If anything she should be ashamed of herself for stooping to winning like that. As it is I was hoping she go to turn around only to catch a bolt of magic from Chrysalis. Peacetalks are no place for duals nor for condescending lessons (from ponies with all four legs still attached)
4141199 Well I'm glad you're back, but I wish it wasn't all criticms
. Although, with all respect, I understand your pre-reader judgement in that some of the parts in the duel were iffy, but I disagree on the most part. I made a call, I won't take it back, but I probably might edit one or two sections.
The inappropriateness of the duel was... well I'd say without guards it was facepalm worthy now that I mention it. With guards... nope since everybody had proper equipment and the blades were blunt. Yes I agree I need to assign guards to Lamia I give you that because in hindsight that was stupid.
The duel itself wasn't so inappropriate I think. They already verbally spar in the negotiations, what more is this? Especially when the weapons are blunt, proper equipment provided, and Celestia has just as much to lose when things go wrong. Lamia is quite bored to bits after being cooped up, she would like some physical exercise and who better than a skilled duelist. Moreover, I've already mentioned quite clearly that Lamia doesn't equate Celestia to the ponies who inflicted her injuries hence its not that inappropriate.
Alternia has 1000 years experience advantage. Allows her predict opponents actions quicker, be more efficient in her movement, hence yes she can fight two opponents if she uses that particular strategy as she's actually engaging them on one on one duels. Its not Mary Sue especially if she does have 1000 years more experience. She wasn't flying but using her wings to to increase her maneuverability. I don't see it as flying, she's still touching the ground. In fact, Lamia did a similar thing when she dodged Cyndra's first strike. Frankly, I could have made Lamia also use her wings, but if she's having enough trouble with three legs I doubt she can coordinate using all limbs at the same time in the fashion Alternia used it.
Uhhh? I wasn't aware there were rights to dictate ponies or people helping each other. I mentioned earlier... those people weren't Alternia's. yes her subjects, no they were not sent by her while she has a connection to them, its not direct. Besides, she is trying to help Lamia overcome her weakness, so what if she has to teach/lecture her to do that, I see it as setting what 'her people' did wrong right or even just helping her.
Condescending by using her body to win? Alternia took an opportunity to end the duel quickly and took it. Stooping to winning like what? She used her wings like Lamia used her horn and Cyndra used her wings. I really don't see how she stooped to win. She toyed with them and controlled the flow of the battle, yes, but to teach her sisters daughters how to better fight and deal with their problems? While I sortof understand where you are coming from, I don't agree with it and the duelling scene will remain as it is apart from the addition of guards when I get the chance to actually add them.
But criticsm aside, I'm still quite glad to see you're back. With your advice I can avoid possibly controversial chapters such as this.
The problem is while she might not equate Celestia with those ponies, she needs to still be suspicious of her to some degree, because even though those ponies acted on their own, Celestia is still ultimately their commander, and thus should shoulder some of the blame for what was done.
The problem is no amount of experience could allow you to take on two rapier wielding opponents with one blade. Master swordsmen kept fencing daggers to help ward off blows, but ultimately dueling with rapiers was kept one on one. Also it was less about the cut and more on the thrust. Many rapiers had the bare minimum edges, opting for thinner blades that could help dance around the opponent's guard. It took master swordsmen to keep a fight going for any length of time.
So here we have Celestia with one blade fending off two veteran dualists, even if they are out of practice. See my problem. It's not that she shouldn't be that good, it's that she can't! She has one sword with only many attack vectors facing two other swors with an equal amount of attack vectors. If she parries Cyndra, Lamia would score a point and vice versa.
Lamia is also missing a bloody eye (very important for dualing, as it creates a massive blindspot) and is missing a leg. Alternia has both eyes, four legs and both wings. What I'm getting at here is called a handicap and the fact that Alternia would make use of her wings when her crippled opponent hasn't (due to lack of coordination now that you've said it) basically makes her incredibly unsporting.
But they were Alternia's ponies regardless of how they acted on their own, meaning Alternia still shares some blame. As for control, it's her lack of control over her own ponies that led to that. I believe they were military were they not? Who's the ultimate authority of the military? Alternia needs to focus more on catching those bastards. It was her command structure that allowed them that much autonomy in the first place. It took meeting Lamia for her to find out what had happened in the first place. No, Alternia does not need to be so arrogant as to assume the role of the teacher yet. Again, time and place for everything and in a way, her trying to teach Lamia striked way too much as "Too soon."
No, it's ungodly condescending (not to mention presumptious) for someone who's never lost a limb, nor have been struck half-blind to lecture someone who has on how to fucking move. If you can't see this Vren, I honestly don't know what to say. This is the one kind of thing I can't stand from any story. People lecturing others on how to cope with a loss they themselves have never suffered.
Also you win practice duals by scoring points by tagging your opponent with a blade, not brutishly throwing maids into cripples.
I mindgasm virtually every single time I see an update from you in my inbox and another 100 or more while I read the story!!!
Keep up the good work!
4134063
Anti-changeling extremists attack and somehow reveal Alternia?
4141416 Well we have to agree to disagree, although I'm at varying levels of understanding/agreement with your points. Before you read on, I'm glad you voiced your complaints openly with me and I respect your reasoning. Although obviously we are going to disagree with it on some parts, but I still respect you took time to think about your arguments and review the story's chapter. Thus, I still consider you as a friend and see you as a pre-reader for this story even though I disagree with you below on some of the points.
OKay point taken. Lamia should be a tad more suspicious.
Understood, you do seem to know more about fencing than me (from where exactly out of interest?), but its a non-issue given Celestia specifically used strategy to engage Lamia and Cyndra on one on one separate duels in the fight thereby reducing attack vectors.
Isn't that a non-issue when Alternia agreed to having a 2 on 1? Also by Alternia not using a handicap is showing Lamia that she is taking her seriously. Not to mention did Lamia ask for a handicap? She accepted the duel anyway because Lamia wants to judge herself against Alternia's strength, at least initially until she realizes she has no chance and that's when she calls in Cyndra/Cinder.
Sortof understand, but disagree on this point. Sharing some of the blame that makes sense. I thought the time and place... well perhaps you think it is inappropriate, I thought it was alright, but the context of no guards made it rather ridiculous. And by assuming role of teacher Alternia still was helping Lamia... in a sense righting her wrong... leading on to the next point.
You don't know what to say then don't say anything at all and take a deep breath zerv. This point we'll have to seriously disagree on. I don't think whatever you and I say will make each other change our minds, although I'm glad you voiced your complaints. But here's my perspective. Alternia's may be lecturing, but on how to overcome/move past it. Is she deliberately making fun of or emphasizing Lamia's limp. I don't think so, but if its good advice why should Lamia not take it? Think of it this way. Someone donates money to give a homeless person clothing... does that person donating need to be homeless himself ? Is that condescending if that other person genuinely wants to help? Someone designs a prosthetic limb. Does that person need to have lost a limb in order to design a prosthetic? Uhhh no, they just have to have an understanding of what the other person lost and how to cope with it. Who teaches therapy to disabled patients or crippled military veterans, doctors, but do they have to be disabled, crippled themselves to teach it? Ummmm no?
And this is why I don't think its condescending. Lecturing... perhaps. Condescending to help and give advice to one in need? Especially since Alternia sincerely sympathizes with Lamia? No.
Okay on this point I facepalm at now that you bring it up.
Well that was an interesting debate. I think we kind of reached an impasse at this point. I"ll look over and edit the chapter when I have time (other uni essays dammit all). And I'll be happy to see you on the next chapter where we can hopefully prevent some of these derps from happening.
Actually thinking too much in a dual gets you killed. It's more action, reaction, and counteraction with little room for thinking.
As you might have guessed from earlier chapters, I'm a bit of a weapons enthusiast. Most of my knowledge is based around medieval weapons and the like but it grew to cover rapiers as well when I decided to research why the fallacy that longswords are slow unwieldy weapons. After that introduction I decided to look into it some more and have even learned a little myself.
As for Alternia isolating them, it really doesn't read that way so you may want to look into that a bit. Right now it feels like a video game where you need to fight multiple enemies, but they patiently wait their turn to attack. Cyndra and Celestia exchange for a bit then Celestia and Lamia do it.
As for the whole unreasonable swordsmanship thing, part of that is Alternia never gets tagged once in a duel against two skilled opponents (when they fail to do anything it makes that seem more like an informed ability) besides, when was the last time Alternia dueled? She should be pretty out of practice herself (not too mention her favored weapon is the halberd, so that'd require unlearning a few things)
The problem is she's trying to jump into the teacher role too soon and without anyone asking, which can seem overbearing.
Another thing I should mention is while Lamia can be friendly, there is such a thing as being too friendly. I really feel she needs to be more wary of Celestia and the others a bit more if only because she's lost somuch already. I mean now she's dueling Celestia and considering Alternia can raise the sun, it'd be child's play to shove a rapier through any protection. Not saying she would, but Lamia needs to be more careful around ponies and think about dangers like this. She's literally been burned once already.
None of those really get at the issue. The issue is Lamia's conscious mind knows she has only three legs. Alternia presuming to tell her something that is literally painfully obvious is pretty damn close to mocking her. Lamia knows better than anyone else that she only has three legs, having Alternia trying to teach her this should rightly piss her off, friendly or no. The reason for this is ith only three legs left, Lamia needs to think about her footing more than any other pony. Literally every step she takes is a reminder. Having to cope to balancing on three legs would make this second nature to her. this is what I'm getting at here: The lesson is literally based on teaching her something she already knows! That's what's been getting to me.
And before you say anything the only thing I wanted was for the motivations and such to be fixed. I honestly don't care about what stays in so much as it makes actual sense. Speaking of which this also needs to set Alternia and Chrysalis back a bit. Alternia is asking a bit too much to ask Chrysalis to trust her and then turn around and dual the daughter that Chrysalis has been so hyper protective of.
4138262 How do you make that wall of black hide the possible spoilers? I wanna learn how to do that, too.
4147482 You do [.spoiler] and then [./spoiler] to close it, but without periods. Like this.
4134492
I hear thee, brother or sister. Let us maketh haste with our non-rapier weaponry and striketh true to the sides of our foes' shields, lest they witness our hesitant state and circle around to plunge their piercing blades betwixt our shoulder blades.
Translation: Learn how to deadangle people, it really helps dealing with spearpokers and rapierpokers.