• Member Since 30th Jan, 2013

Cave Johnson


One-time shower curtain salesman, current CEO of Aperture Science. I read stories about technicolor horses sometimes.

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Found 119 stories in 109ms

Total Words: 7,639,521
Estimated Reading: 3 weeks

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E

Smirk, a young unicorn mare from Vanhoover, comes to Princess Celestia to ask a question.

A questionable question. The sort of question that gets one tossed out of society.

Of course, Princess Celestia has an answer.

An entry in the Weedverse.

Chapters (1)
T

Tracy Maxwell is in a desperate situation: find somewhere to live, or lose the internship he needs to survive. After exhausting every property in the city, one last option appears the day before his deadline. Sure the agent selling the place is a little weird, and more than a little overeager to get the property signed off. At the worst, maybe there's a little mold in the bathroom somewhere, and he has to make do until the lease is up.

But then he steps inside and discovers things can be much worse. The property is in another universe, and while he's there he'll have to play by its rules. He's free to continue working his dream job, so long as he keeps to the contract. Even worse, he's got a roommate who has no intention of leaving him alone.

If he ever wants to escape, he'll have to read the Fine Print.


This story now has a hardcover! If you'd like one of your own, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story is a commission by _Kenzu_!

Chapters (68)
E

On the Density of Alicorn Skulls: A sharp blow to the head can do odd things to one's personality. This is particularly problematic if the victim in question is a widely respected leader of her people.
On the Classification of Divinity: In some other worlds where magic exists, the inhabitants have attempted to quantify the different levels of godhood. Unfortunately, it is not a perfect system, and the Princesses have never been ones to flaunt their absurd levels of power.


This is a series of unrelated one-shots focused around Celestia, who remains one of my favourite ponies. It's marked completed, since there won't be a continuing narrative going between all of the shorts. It will continue to see updates though, since I have plenty more ideas for the Princess!

Now available in Spanish!

Chapters (2)
T

This story is a sequel to Bad Decisions Make Better Stories


Sunset Shimmer's class at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns is having a reunion, and naturally she is a tad surprised to find out just exactly what they've been up to since the last time she saw them. Especially after what happened during their *ahem* last class gathering.

And this time at least, everything is definitely not her fault.

Oh, dear.





Rated Teen and Sex for mentions of egregious sexual irresponsibility, very mild pony bad language, and Princess Cadance. No actual sex. Also has minor Sunlight shipping. I'm terribly sorry, I can't help it.

Contains spoilers for the the Season 6 finale and the prequel story, but can be enjoyed without having seen either. Though little bits here and here may not make sense.

PrincessColumbia has written an unofficial sequel to this story!

Chapters (1)
T

Twilight Sparkle has ruled Equestria for over a thousand years. From her throne atop the floating city of Concord, she enforces ruthless harmony over the handful of surviving settlements. But Twilight is afraid: Equestria's survival always hangs by a thread, as enemies more ancient than the Alicorns threaten to return and devour what she has built.

Twilight selects her star pupil, a young unicorn named Star Orchid, to travel down from the perfect city of Concord into the dangerous ruins beneath, so that she might locate these forces, and help Twilight to destroy them. Only when every threat to Equestria is finally dismantled will she be able to rest. Until then, there is much left to purify.


Edited by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha

Updates Wednesdays.

This story was commissioned by TyrannisUmbra, with additional funds donated by my enabler, Two Bit. If you'd like one of your own, drop me a PM!

This story takes place in the same universe as Why We Dig. I'm not going to call it a sequel, since none of its characters will be aware of anything in that story, so you won't have to be either.

Chapters (56)
E

This story is a sequel to To Have and To Hold


It ain't always easy, regaining what you lost.

Especially when you've been missing it for years.


Written for Appledash Contest #6 - "Go Big or Go Home".
Inspired by the original art by Heir-of-Rick.
Edited by AstralMouse, SaddlesoapOpera and Snowybee.

Chapters (4)
T

Twilight Sparkle accomplished something incredible, something not even the great Starswirl could manage. But ascension into the ranks of Equestria's princesses is not without its difficulties. Before she can take her place as princess of Friendship, Twilight must travel to the underworld and make a ceremonial offering to Death in exchange for her immortality. Twilight is more than a little surprised to discover the identity of the pony under the hood.

After years living in Ponyville and getting to know her friends, Twilight always assumed they were exactly what they seemed: a group of friendly and ambitious ponies. But as it turns out, the sort of pony who saves Equestria and decodes the ancient mysteries of Starswirl is likely to attract ponies a tad more interesting.


Updates on the 3rd or 4th Friday of every month, then daily until that section is complete.

Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

Chapters (23)
E
Source

When the girls discovered magic at Camp Everfree, Sunset Shimmer was the first to embrace it. But now, the little bit of magic she got is just reminding her of how much she's lost. And as people get more and more desperate, you can never tell when they're going to do something incredibly stupid.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to Sunspawned


"Hey, Glimglim--can I call you Glimglim? I've got a serious important question for you. Why aren't you snogging Sunburst yet?"

Chapters (5)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to Sunsplit


"...okay, ow. My head hurts. I wonder how long I've been--oh, who are you?"

Chapters (3)