Chapter 57
Returning to Apex was no easy task for Tracy. Of course it wasn't that any of the actual engineering had gotten harder—two weeks wasn't enough to forget everything he knew, even if he hadn't been working for most of it. But he had been, so he hadn't even come unstuck from the projects everyone was working on.
Part of the challenge came from the sudden return of his humanity. Tracy wouldn't admit to himself that anything was wrong while he drove to work, feeling a strange lack of coordination in his hands. There was always another explanation—he was just tired, or maybe it was the Everwake slowly wearing him down. But if that was the explanation, that probably wasn't good either. It wasn't like he could stop again until next weekend. And every day I wait, the worse it gets. No wonder Discord wanted me to take this stuff.
It wasn't like his hands had stopped working or anything. With his leg mended, he felt only a little weakness from that arm, as the recovery continued. His fingers weren't numb or anything, they just felt strange. He couldn't quite decide if he missed having wings on his back, or if all these clothes were a return to the way things were supposed to be.
Worse than all that were the reflections. It was almost every reflective surface now. Even leaning back from his computer screen sometimes made his hair change blue, or let him catch the reflection of a mane out of the corner of his eyes.
No one around him reacted. When he walked past the security booth, the guard didn't so much as blink when his badge scanned correctly. He walked upstairs to his department without provoking so much as a curious glance.
Tracy's desk had changed a little, but he expected that. He slipped the new work laptop into the dock, then his old screens all came to life. There weren't even rude notes on his desk.
But that didn't mean he'd escaped entirely unscathed. After the morning standup meeting, half the other engineers found excuses to visit his desk. They asked only polite questions, and never even mentioned Steven. But when they thought he wasn't looking, Tracy caught them staring. What were they looking for?
Nobody asked if he wanted to be part of the day's catering for lunch. When he did pass by the open meeting room filled with plates and boxes of food, conversation hushed.
He made an excuse to visit Janet before close, slipping into her office and quietly clicking the door shut. To his annoyance, he caught Lori lurking near the glass before he even turned around. I'll have to keep quiet if I don't want this conversation spreading too.
"What did you tell everyone?" he asked, as politely as he could. "It seems like half the office is staring at me."
Janet looked up from her keyboard, shrugging absently. "Not the truth, you bet your ass on it. But think about what happened for a sec, Tracy. We only had two interns, and one of them lost his mind after visiting you for lunch. I told everybody there was nothing to see. Most of them will buy it, if you give them enough time.
She leaned forward, grinning weakly at him. "You have to admit, this is way more interesting than usual office gossip. New kid gets hurt, first person to visit goes nuts. Boss goes to confirm that nothing was happening."
"What do they think happened?" Tracy didn't really expect an answer, but he had to ask.
"Drugs, pretty sure," she answered. "The popular theory was that you're running some kinda grow-op in that apartment. Instead of being sensible, Steven partook, went on the worst trip of his life during work hours. They don't see his test results, they don't know he wasn't on anything. They didn't go there to know that you aren't."
"It would have to be worse than a grow-op if Steven was hallucinating at work," he muttered, annoyed. "Marijuana doesn't do that."
Janet raised a placating hand. "That thing you just said—try to avoid talking like that with the others. Don't be informed. Be ignorant. Make yourself boring. My 'investigation' got HR off your back, but you aren't out of the woods yet."
She gestured vaguely towards the glass with a stapler, and he heard movement in the space beyond. Their audience scattering, though Tracy didn't see how many people were actually watching. Maybe just Lori. "You didn't ask for this, I get it. I want to keep you. But if you want to stick around, then you'll have to work with me."
He nodded. "What should I do?"
"Be boring. Be so unimaginably boring that I can give everyone a few tough assignments, and we can just wait for the next drama to come around. Know what I mean?"
He nodded weakly. "My lease ends at the end of January. Once that happens, there won't be anything to worry about."
She nodded. "I'm going to give you the shit work for the next few weeks, make a show of punishing you for taking off during the Emmerson project. Just want to make sure you realize you haven't done anything wrong. This is for them, not for you. The work you submitted from home is some of the best I've seen from you."
"I was inspired," he said lamely. Fortunately, Janet didn't ask why.
Tracy did everything he could to implement Janet's suggestions. The first few days seemed hopeless, but by the end of his first week back at work, it became increasingly clear that he just wasn’t going to do anything interesting. More than once he found evidence that someone had been through his things—probably searching for the drugs he supposedly grew. Tracy gritted his teeth, complaining about the “accident” to HR, and moved on despite the hostility of his work environment.
But then he brought Rose to Friday’s work party. That alone served as stronger proof of his mediocrity than anything else he could say or do.
Janet's "help" probably made a difference too, though it meant a few weeks of fairly miserable work. Instead of designing anything new, Janet tasked him with updating the department's records, bringing all their resource models up to company spec, updating repositories...
But as mind-numbing as his days at work became, that also meant visiting everyone in the department, issuing patches and updates and having tons of entirely uninteresting conversations.
By the end of his second week back, someone had the balls to ask for the story themselves. Eric, one of the senior draftsmen. "I don't know what scared that kid..." he muttered, settling down the drafting tablet across from them. "You didn't slip him something?"
"No," Tracy said flatly. "I smoked weed once in high school, and I wasn't that impressed with it. I tried calming Steven down, but he wouldn't have it. I guess he just... thought he saw something."
Eric nodded knowingly. "Sometimes people break down. I'd ask if it were cultural, but HR would probably send me another stern email. Whatever it was, couldn't be that bad. Janet said there wasn't anything to be worried about. Hell of a way to spend your first year at Apex."
It wasn't like convincing one of his coworkers was enough to get the others to relax. But it was a start, and with it he could finally start focusing on what really mattered: his time with Rose.
And all it cost were two little vials of potion each day, taken when Rose wasn't watching. She has to know what I'm doing. We get to spend so much time together, and I never miss work. How else does she think I'm living on so little sleep?
After two weeks back at work, Tracy sat down once to run the numbers on exactly how much sleep he needed. Over two days? How did I let it get that bad? Using enough of the Everwake that he now got the potion delivered in a large flask and poured it himself probably should've warned him something was up.
It was easy to find something else to think about, particularly when he was surrounded by so much beauty. Winter in Ponyville was everything he'd always loved about the season back home, though the temperature wasn't nearly as harsh, and the people were far friendlier despite not having cars or snowmobiles to get around.
He followed Rose outside on a morning walk one Saturday, into a town that seemed to be hibernating for the season. If anything, Ponyville took on the cast of those garish paintings that were always up for sale in thrift stores, with a thin line of smoke rising from every home and light glowing from most windows.
"What do ponies do when it gets so cold?" he asked, over a cup of hot chocolate by their favorite cafe. "The shops are still open, but aren't most of the ponies here farmers?" Roseluck sat beside him rather than across from him, but that suited him fine. If he ran out, he could always steal her drink.
"A few years ago we were," she said. "Ponyville used to pride itself on being an earth pony town. There's still some of that heritage left. Like when we wrap up winter in—" She fell abruptly silent, looking away from him. "I guess you won’t be here for that. A long, long time ago, before I was born even—the whole town used to shut down in the winter. I think it would've been good—you rest the soil between crops, and ponies need rest too."
I wonder what I would do if I lived here. Not resell human technology and set up PoS terminals in shops, that was for sure. He'd need the Worldgate open to bring all that stuff in. But then he realized what he was thinking, and his ears flattened abruptly. He wasn't going to be here in a few months—it was pointless to answer that question.
And even if I could keep living at the apartment, I wouldn't be able to go between two worlds anymore. Sooner or later I'm going to start bleeding magic on the other side.
"What?" Rose nudged him with a hoof, expression souring. "Was it something I said?"
"No, no." He patted her shoulder, wedging his wing better into the space between them. At least he'd only have to be cold on one side. "I was just lost in thought, that's all."
Rose wore little, even in the cold. But Tracy's winter clothes taken from home had a new life in Ponyville. With so much skin on his wings exposed to the icy winter chill, he could begin to understand why the thestrals either migrated south or just lived there year-round.
"About?"
He probably would've dismissed the question with something stupid. But every time he thought about lying to her, he thought about the vials hidden in his bedroom, and the additional guilt became overpowering. "How useless I'd be if I lived here," he said. "The skills I spent my whole life learning—most of them are useless here. I'd be starting from scratch."
Her eyes widened. But if she thought the statement was strange, she didn't say so. "Tell that to the flower stand," she said. "We'd be shuttered by now if it weren’t for you. Don't deny it—you've seen the books."
She knew him too well. "I'm happy to help. But I can't make a career out of that. I can't go around saving ponies' businesses—you saved yourself. I just helped put together the information you needed."
"Equestria has room for everypony," she said, grinning broadly at him. "Besides, you'd be living with me. I'm sure we could come up with something useful for you to do, together. Most ponies use their special talent to make bits. You can't really think yours is getting electrocuted, can you?"
"No, I guess it isn't." It's probably more general than that. Try 'making a total mess of things.'
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His Sleep Debt is racking up... I think we had a measure of when he'd coma-ify when he first got the potion. Not got the time to look it up, though.
Accidentally early post? Or maybe we hot some milestone to merit an early chapter.
was surprised by a non-saturday post but its welcome
So...early chapter is early.
And she's right. Have patience, young Tracy. If you continue to play the part of a normal guy, eventually people will see you as nothing more than that.
Again, great advice. Janet's being very sensible about this.
Chatoyance will be annoyed by that.
Aw man, all the more reason for him to try and find a way to keep the girl and the job then. There has to be a way to do it, there just has to be.
Oh, that finally happened, huh? And we're just going to blur over it like it's a non-event too, apparently. Well then. Clearly Rose is capable of adapting to Earth life if we can have that happen without issue.
But at least it's been memorable, amirite?
Probably just a tad.
Again, another argument for him finding a way to keep the job, and, I might add, just how much that job means to him (since apparently other readers around here foolishly think otherwise) and how much he'd be out of luck on that front in Equestria, which just doesn't have any equivalents to his particular skill set.
I have to say it again--there MUST be someway to keep the best of both worlds. Maybe there's a way to set up a means for Tracy to work remotely and send in the work for Apex from home, even without the worldgate open? I mean, yeah, probably am reaching for straws with that, but...
There is that point, though, and we still haven't quite figured out just what Tracy's Equestrian special talent is exactly yet. It does seem to deal in some manner in electronics somehow...maybe a means of getting him started expanding Equestria's own level of electronics? Surely with his skills, he'd already have the foundation set up for that...
Anyway, Tracy seems set on staying on Earth when it comes time to close the worldgate. Rose seems to be set on staying in Equestria herself, and if anything is trying to nudge Tracy into staying as well, despite the clear signs of Tracy trying to rule it out as an option. Sooner or later these two are going to have to realize they're not looking at the problem the same way as the other, or else not only are they never going to find a solution in time, their differences on it could very well just drive them apart again regardless.
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Was in the schedule in the blog. An nice extra chapter.
10693211
okay then
Actually, wonder if he can take Everwake in the middle of the rebound, to soften the "snap" that's been building? 🤔
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i see
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Can't take it if you're asleep! Once it wears off, you've only got a few minutes to get another dose in you before you sleep.
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It was never a specific number, just "a few consecutive doses". Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't dropped yet.
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Was thinking more along the lines of an IV drip.
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I have a feeling that the dosage needed to use it in an IV instead of taken orally hasn't been researched yet. Just a gut feeling.
That Everfree. It won't be long until it gets you. Will you be prepared?
It must be strange feeling more comfortable in a body you weren't born with. I wonder if every other Worldgate user experiences this as well.
That probably would've been better for his mental health. As least he could've told himself it wasn't real.
One way or the other.
I can only hope so. A choice to emigrate can't simply be for Rose only. It'll have to be fulfilling to Tracy's life as well. And giving up a dream job would be a large sacrifice.
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Science must be done! 🤓
Oy. How is he gonna make up that much sleep? Janet could probably understand and figure out a way to give him a 'sick day' or something, but Rose would then for sure know he was still on the Everwake, and she would not be happy.
Speaking of Janet, I really like her. Since she's seen Equestria and knows the situation, despite her religious background, she's accepted that Tracy's had to make things work differently and she's totally working with it. That's a boss I'd love to have.
Of course, him being a great asset to the company doesn't hurt.
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Starscribe now hosts a monthly poll (for Patrons) for a story to get an extra chapter in a month. Fine Print won the poll for February. The poll for March has already concluded, with Anemoia winning. (Fine Print was excluded as an option since it won the February poll.)
my heart my heart
10693222 You know, if Rose is a typically sneaky female, he's going to wake up in Equestria some morning to find her saying, "Yes, I filled your bottles with water. You've been asleep for two weeks now, and the portal closed last week. But don't you feel better now that you've caught up on your sleep?"
New chapter earlier than expected!?
The copious usage of Everwake is going to cause some big problems for him before the lease is over. Discord is no doubt watching him to see it happen and to laugh at the chaos that follows.
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Honestly, I've never seen Janet be anything but since day 1. Firm but nothing too horrible. A bit lenient if anything. A worker with so many things happening... might not be let go but I'd expect Janet to scrutinize Tracy more closely and probably pry about Tracy's future plans more aggresively.
Shane was sort of blurred over too. As least for now. His situation could serve as a example for what Tracy could expect if he chooses to emigrate.
Unless... Shane x Jordan x Blake x Pale Light Love Tetrahedron! Lets go!!!
Unless someone manages to strong arm Discord, this looks like it'll have to end in a bittersweet manner where some happiness will have to be sacrificed.
I have to admit, I'm slightly disliking Tracy for attempting to have both at once. Choosing Earth, he objectively won't be much better than the other bats that left Rose. Yes, they both want to make every last moment count, strengthen their bond, but this will ultimately end in a voluntary breakup because neither can make that life-changing commitment. I can't help but see how much more Rose will hurt than Tracy. Another bat chooses something (albeit a huge something) over her. Perhaps it would be best to start winding it down and preparing to say goodbyes. It'll be less painful and more amicable that way.
Here's my prediction. Rose, about to lose her love again will ultimately decide to go with him, to Earth. Seeing that, Tracy will stay in Equestria instead choosing to spare Rose the shittiness of being on Earth.
Spark Gap in itself is an ominous pun, just saying. Nobody in the comments has even thought if his cutie mark is to keep the Worldgate open, because even he refers to himself bleeding magic.
Sooner or later, the debt comes due Tracy...
little behind the scenes, had planned to get this scene illustrated buuuuuuut simply couldnt work it into the schedule
Woof someone's been racist before.
I'm sad we didn't get to see Rose hanging out with his co-workers. That would have been genuinely interesting material.
Poor Spark Gap! Don't put yourself down.
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Spark Gap "When they stick your head on a pike, I'm going to wiggle my hoof, just like this." *waggle*
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I feel like that would (temporarily) put a huge strain on their relationship. Imagine waking up with your only way home gone (even if you don't have any family left) and your dream job lost forever because you wanted to spend more time at home with your love... that will hurt.
This isn't going to end well, is it?
It's still kinda racist. Earth Ponies can use their magic. Pegasi can use their magic, but unicorns can't even use levitation?
I get the feeling that once/if he finds his talent, it's over.
Right? It’d be a poor demon who lets his mask slip in the middle of the workday.
In comparison, I suppose? His gorgeous alien girlfriend will certainly make him pale in comparison. A shame we didn’t see the office’s reaction to her, or vice versa.
In any case, Tracy’s really kicking the can as far down the road as he can. He can’t stretch this out much longer. Someone will have to make a hard choice.
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A... "typically" sneaky female...
Tracy. Buddy. Spark Gap. GO. TO. S L O O P.
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There was a spot where I was admittedly a little iffy about her back before she even knew about the portal...but otherwise I've consistently figured she was a decent enough person too. I think the reason everybody keeps assuming otherwise about her is that, with these types of stories, so many have gone in that direction that people start expecting all of them to do so.
So kudos to Starscribe for bucking that trend anyway.
Agreed, but I think Rose isn't totally blameless herself. She's not totally unjustified in doing so, of course, but her approach to it still seems to be pretty "Equestria first" still, and her subtle nudging to get Tracy to stay is just selfish enough that she's not stopping to look at it enough from Tracy's perspective because the answers that would lead her to aren't the ones she wants.
So that said, the fact that Tracy has thus far refused to make Rose have to choose her world or his and instead has fully voluntarily taken that choice solely upon himself so that she doesn't have to does make him seem both noble and selfless in at least that regard.
But you're still right, both of them are still approaching the problem wrong. They either need to work together and come up with some real sort of game plan moving forward besides bury their heads and pretend they won't have to, or acknowledge it can't last and start winding things down in preparation for separating, instead of continuing to nudge things further still in their relationship as if it won't.
Then again, I do understand why they're doing so. Rose is doing it in hopes it'll lure Tracy into staying anyway, and Tracy's doing it so to try and get the most out of the relationship while he still has the chance, and I can't really blame either of them for wanting that. But as someone on the outside looking in, I can see the cliff that approach is careening them towards much more clearly than they can.
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Hopefully she's smarter than that, then, because I somehow think that wouldn't be good for their relationship.
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Morgana might be onto something with his constant go to sleep
The inevitable backlash from taking the sleep potion feels pretty forced, to be honest.
Yo, we hittin' up with an early chapter? Sweet!
Somehow, I thought he had stopped taking the everwake two chapters ago; I did not realize he was still imbibing.
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I mean. What, no repercussions for something magical overtaking aside bodily functions has no backlash or cause and effect?
O i am kind of getting a idea based on Tracy's cutie mark.
discord you have been being really good.
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I do not want to go to bed m o r g a n. I must eat big borgar, hang out with ruji, and be pantom thef!
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Nah, I expect there to be backlash. It's the entire situation where at any moment, he could have just stopped taking the potion. But he keeps finding an excuse to continue. Minor annoyance with the story.
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I mean... you drink it. You get dividends.
Your work pays $$... honestly if anything it's one of those situations where if this was a LEGITIMATE product, people would overdose super hard ALL THE TIME. So it's not unexpected.
For example:
Can you do it?
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I agree, i am fully aware that me like most people are "addicted" to the internet. The information, the connections to other people, it is so interwoven with our lives now that it is hard to just cut it off completely. You could for maybe a bit but eventually you would find yourself wanting it back eventually.
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Well, this chapter was posted early.
It's still winter, therefore it sucks, lol.
Ah hello there, I am a translator/writer over at the Chinese fan site Fimtale, and a friend who’s a co-admin there suggested me to have try on translating this into Chinese. I am currently at Chapter 10 of Fine Print (not sure where it’s heading yet but interesting for sure), and one chapter away from finishing the translation of Picking Yourself Up (https://www.fimfiction.net/story/434245/picking-yourself-up , https://fimtale.com/t/20748). The next semester of my bachelor of aerospace engineering is about to start but I guess starting with 5 chapters done for the week or so wouldn’t be too hard. Would these conditions be fine to get a permission for translate? ;3