//------------------------------//
// Chapter 63 
// Story: Fine Print 
// by Starscribe 
//------------------------------//

Roseluck settled uncomfortably into the seat of the car. This wasn't anything like the one she'd been practicing in. Tracy's had been old, but it also felt like something loved. Every change he'd made had clearly been to keep the old thing working longer. While that meant there were a few odd parts or things that didn't work right, the purpose was always clear.

She stared down at the dash in front of her, and found no such thing to be true here. Every dial looked like it was stolen from some other machine, and none told her anything useful. What the buck were half these numbers, anyway?

She slid the key into the ignition, and the strange eye-decorations on the wheel blinked at her. "Don't you say anything," she muttered, furious. "We're taking one trip, and you can do whatever you want after that."

The car didn't say anything. But they weren't like carts with pony crews, Tracy had explained that over and over. There was nothing inside it, not even a come-to-life spell. It was just mechanical parts, working together to help her go quickly.

She turned the engine, and it roared. Not the splutter she was used to—this sounded like an actual dragon. She winced, jerking back against the seat. The eyes looked back at her, and she imagined she saw amusement.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

At least once it started running, the roar settled down into a gentle, contented purring sound. Rose glanced around the street, then ran over the checklist in her mind. E-break off, shift into drive, check her mirror, signal... how did humans remember all this?

At least she had a memory for places. The same skill she used to find exotic flowers growing in distant woods year after year could also be useful here. She'd been to Tracy's work before. She just had to repeat that path, without hitting anything or getting lost in an entire world of human stuff. How hard could it be?

Finally she started to accelerate. She made it about three feet before a horn blared behind her, and she slammed on the brake by reflex. A long white car blurred past, with angry humans leaning out the side and making gestures at her.

"Sorry, sorry! Forgot to check again—"

But they couldn't hear her, and didn't seem to care to try and listen. Roseluck checked again, then finally started driving. 

Tracy made this look so easy. Those hands did a dozen little things at once, turning the flashers on and off, adjusting the music and the temperature, twitching constantly to keep the car within narrow white lines on the pavement. 

Roseluck was a champion of navigating carts in Equestria, she could make it through the narrowest Canterlot alleys with deliveries ten times her weight.

But that was at pony speed. It took only a few seconds on the accelerator, and she was blazing forward at what felt like sonic rainboom velocity.

Her hands gripped the wheel so tightly her skin went white. "Celestia help me," Rose muttered, as she made her first turn. Apparently she needed the help, because more cars blared at her. A few screeched to a halt, and more people pointed.

But she swerved, and managed to get back on the right side of the road. Just two more like that and I'll be there. 

Her heart pounded in her chest, hands beginning to slip on the wheel from sweat. But the straight parts were easiest—so long as she stayed in her lane, and went the same speed as everypony else, no one looked at her.

Well, that wasn't true. Discord's car attracted about as much attention as Discord himself. Rose couldn't shake the feeling that parts of it might turn and flee the instant she looked away. Around her, the buildings got bigger, and the whining siren got loud enough that she could hear it over her engine. 

But there were no flashing lights behind her, so she wasn't caught. Those are for Tracy.

Rose turned again, and this time things went a little better. Granted, that was just from the lack of other cars on this side of the street. Lots of them were trying to get away, but none were coming this direction.

Almost there. The car sputtered and shook under her. Rose tensed, watching to see which parts would fall away. Would she get dumped out onto the street, rolling until she got squashed by another car?

I just need to find Keyes, she thought. At least this part of the human world made sense. They were like the ponies of Manehattan, who put labels on corners to show what streets were which. Main was what she was on, so she just had to keep driving a little further...

There, on her left! 

She swerved violently, tires squealing. But she was going so fast, the car didn't want to turn fast enough! The wheels bounced and roared under her as she thumped up onto the sidewalk.  There was a terrible crash from behind her, and the sound of breaking glass. But she kept moving forward, kept her hands on the wheel.

Another series of bumps shook through her, along with a terrible metal screeching. Then she was moving forward again. Her path was a little unsteadier than before, the car drifting one way. But she was still moving.

"Almost there almost there almost there..." There was a fence along the other side of the street, made of thin metal chain. And clambering down from the other side was a single pair of figures, both known to her.

Of all the strange things Rose had ever seen on this side of the Worldgate, she never expected one of them to be a pony. 

Tracy looked worse than refugees she'd seen fleeing the changeling invasion all those years ago. His fur was a mess, covered in mud and ash and debris. His wings hung limply at his sides, dragging along like he hadn't slept in days. He seemed barely able to walk—but he was walking. 

Rose swerved, screeching up onto the sidewalk on that side. A car coming the other way slammed on their breaks, then started honking. But Rose ignored it, practically falling out the driver's side. 

"You made it!" she said, stumbling towards Tracy. She wrapped those strange, gangly arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.





Ponies were little. She'd never noticed before, crossing as quickly as she did. No wonder Janet had been able to carry him down to the office. "You are so... so stupid," she whimpered, fighting back tears. "I told you not to go!"

"I know..." he said. Rarely had she heard a pony sound so unbelievably exhausted, barely even standing. "How'd you get here?"

"Barely," Janet answered, kicking the side of the car with one boot. She didn't look better than the bat, though at least she was still on her feet. "You were right about not being able to drive. Holy shit, look at the rear axle."

But she couldn't—Rose didn't even know what that was. She finally let go, rising to her feet. "Sorry. I thought someone else would, but he just gave me the car."

"Discord," Tracy huffed, confused. "Why?"

"We don't have time," Janet interrupted. "I know people saw us cross here. From the look of your car, you made an impression on the way over, too."

"Can you drive it?" Rose asked, desperate. "I don't think I'll make it back."

Janet glanced nervously up and down the street. There were no more cars coming, just the single angry driver swerving around them and continuing down the road. "Can't get much worse. Hop in."

Rose did, helping Tracy up into the backseat. The back of the car was even less comfortable than the front, made far worse by the shattered window and broken glass on the floor of one side. 

Tracy clambered up into the seat beside her, staring out the window as Janet began to drive. His eyes were wistful, distant. "I didn't know what I would choose, Rose. But now I don't get to choose."

She nodded weakly, wrapping one arm around him, holding him as the car shook and rattled. "Do you want to stay? After all this?"

Janet clearly knew what she was doing, but that didn't mean her driving was calm. The engine roared under her feet, and she swerved wildly, dodging around cars outside like it was nothing.

Maybe that had something to do with the whining siren, following them now. There were lights off in the distance, but getting closer by the second. Who could drive crazier? 

"No," he said, defeated. "But that isn't the same. Isn't a choice now."

The car squealed and bucked under them as they came to an awkward stop, bouncing against the pavement. Then it moaned, and smoke billowed out from the hood. "That's all she wrote!" Janet said, kicking out against the driver's door. "Boys in blue are right behind, maybe two blocks. Come on!"

Rose didn't know what most of that meant, but she understood urgency. She shoved the door open, stumbling out onto the sidewalk. Tracy followed, jumping down and trailing along behind. 

Sirens grew to a roar, and lights flashed off the nearby buildings. Janet stopped beside the door, flinging it open. The inner door beyond was conspicuously closed. Odd of Discord to be so polite.

"Guess this is it," Janet said, face grim. "You two... stay safe. I'd say to write me in prison, but I don't think the post delivers to other worlds."

Rose crossed the doorway in an instant. The world warped and twisted around her, and suddenly she was on her hooves again, looking up.

But Tracy lingered on the other side, looking back. "You don't have to go to prison," he said.

"Well yeah, I'm being a little dramatic. Nobody actually got hurt. With you gone, they might just run with the story of some... mass hallucination."

But she didn't sound like she believed it. Tracy backed across the doorway towards her, wings spreading emphatically. For the first time, nothing happened.

"I don't mean that. I mean you should come with us."

Those sirens were getting loud. Rose's ears pressed flat to her head, trying and failing to muffle the sound. A pair of black and white cars sped towards them from the corner, with a few larger vans just behind. Lights flashed from the top, blindingly bright.

Janet hesitated, one hand on the doorway. A police car banged up onto the sidewalk, blocking off the way in front of the car. The other approached from behind, crushing Discord's car between them.

"Now or never!" Tracy yelled. "I don't know about curses—but Equestria's a nice place to live."

"You think there might be a way back? A few months from now, when this blows over?"

Tracy shrugged. "Maybe. There are other Worldgates, but nopony can tell us where—"

The door banged open, and men in blue uniforms jumped out, pointing something black towards them. "On the ground, right now!"

Their boss took one last look back towards them—then she jumped. The Worldgate caught her in the air. She glided over the two of them, as elegant as the noble hippogriffs depicted in ancient sculpture and song.





At least until she smacked into the wall, sliding to the floor. 

But Rose didn't turn to look. She slammed the door shut.

Tracy reached past her towards the locks, hoof hesitating halfway up the door. The sunlight streaming in through the side window vanished. There was no crash of thunder, no roar of thaumic power. Just a sudden, profound silence as the blazing sirens stopped their whine.

"Ugh," Janet moaned from behind them. "What the hell was I thinking?”

"Something smart," Spark Gap said, pressing up on the knob with a hoof. The door swung outward. 

There were no cars piling up in front of them, no sirens and flashing lights. The door swung only halfway, before catching on the weeds and brush buried in a thick layer of snow.

"I thought about how this would happen," he muttered. "I didn't picture this." He turned, hurrying over to the crumpled heap of a hippogriff and helping her to her feet. "Sorry about... fucking up your entire life."

Janet muttered something frustrated, but didn't push him away. "Ask me how I feel in a week."

He won't be able to, since he'll be sleeping off the Everwake, Rose thought. She pulled the door shut, then slid the deadbolt across with a definite click. 

"I don't know about you," she said. "But I could go for some hot chocolate." Rose nudged the inner door open.

Princess Celestia stood in her kitchen.