Tracy had never so much as taken a plane before, let alone sat in first class. While he sat alone for long hours debugging his work in a lab somewhere, he’d often imagined what it would be like one day, when he worked for a big company. They’d fly him all over to technical conferences, and he’d always ride in business class.
His ride to Canterlot could only be described as “princess class.” It was like the personal trains of any number of kings and dictators, without any of the security features. Marble and gold with lots of open space, and seats so soft it challenged every preconception he had of Equestrian textiles. The car had its own full-service bar with refreshments and unidentifiable bubbling drinks.
Tracy ignored all of it, sitting awkward and alone in a back corner, waiting for it to be over. He’d worn his usual clothes for the trip, but that was all. What good would a laptop or even a wallet do?
If you’d asked me to think of a way for you three to be stupider than this, I couldn’t have done it. He leaned out against the stained-glass window, watching the countryside roll by. But instead of relaxing and peaceful, he couldn’t help but scan the rolling fields for any sign of activity. Maybe Anton was hiding behind that old farmhouse. How far could they have wandered by now? Or maybe they’d just blunder into that big forest everyone was afraid of, and never come out again.
“You want to keep brooding alone?” asked a familiar voice. Roseluck prodded him in the shoulder, nearly making him jump from the seat. He spun, ears flattening in embarrassment.
Yes. But she was coming to the trial too. If she sided with Discord, that might make things worse for his friends. “No.” He spun back around, settling his forelegs in front of him in a sitting position that was only slightly awkward. As he twisted, an oversized book fell out of his vest, clattering onto the floor between their seats.
Rose picked it up in her mouth, tossing it into his lap before climbing up beside him. It was his borrowed copy of Thestrals Fly Too! not even half read yet thanks to his friends.
For a few minutes the mare sat beside him without a word. Twilight’s conversation with her friends and Spike mixed with the rattling of wheels on track. Finally Rose sighed, her voice barely audible over the rumbling. “You said you weren’t an invader, Tracy. You were trapped just like me, Discord tricked you. Explain this.”
Damn. What could he say? She’d already heard the whole explanation. What could possibly make her understand?
“My friends are idiots,” he said. “Ely never had a lot to do. When we were growing up together, we mostly just got into trouble. Blowing things up in the desert, sneaking into places we didn’t belong. We got better. I went to school so I could get a real job, Shane did too. I think Marshall started working at a garage…”
It wasn’t working. Roseluck’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a criminal?”
“No!” he yelled, loud enough that even the princess glanced across the room at them. He winced, looking away from them. “We never hurt anyone, Roseluck. We never stole anything, we were just… kids, stupid kids. I have no idea why they would want to sneak into your world. Sneaking into my house to play some kind of prank on me would be typical—but not all this. I want nothing more than to send them back where they came from.”
Roseluck didn’t look away from him, bright red eyes only inches from his face watching with suspicion. “I thought I could trust you, Tracy. Helping my sisters and I… I thought maybe our worlds weren’t so different. But now I don’t know what to think.”
She got up, marching glumly to the other side of the car. She left him alone for the remainder of the ride.
More luxury waited for them when noon came, and they were finally arriving in Canterlot. Their train detached from the rest of the cars, continuing up the mountainside higher than Tracy had yet gone. They pulled to a stop only just outside the castle gates.
The structure was even more impressive in person, perched so precariously on a cliffside that seemed so steep that a landslide must be seconds away.
But there were no landslides, only stern-looking guards who glowered at him as he brought up the rear of the royal party.
They passed through a sprawling castle garden, richly attended by dozens of workers. He only got one look at distant statues and water-features, then it was up a set of marble steps and through towering double doors.
This isn’t how this was supposed to happen, he thought, watching Rose’s retreating tail ahead of him. Seeing this castle from the flight school made him long to know what was inside. There was bound to be a chance, maybe after class, or maybe before. Equestria had to offer tours.
He was certainly supervised—four stern-looking ponies in gold armor followed their group with every step, and most of their attention was on him. He got only seconds to appreciate the vast scope of a long throne-room, with stained glass on either side—then they were on their way down a maze of different stairs and hallways into the stony flesh of the mountain.
Would a magical horse-princess keep an actual dungeon? Maybe I’m on my way to join the others as an inconvenience to the crown. Could Discord still collect on his soul if he was jailed in Canterlot?
“Tracy, up here,” Twilight called, her voice imperious. He slipped past the others, stopping beside Twilight and another heavy door. It was made of metal, not wood. So maybe they did have a dungeon.
He lowered his head respectfully, though he doubted it would make much difference. “Are you going to throw me in jail, Princess?”
“What?” Her eyes widened, baffled. “Don’t be so melodramatic. Nopony’s getting thrown in jail.” She nodded towards another armored guard, resting just beside the door. Like most of the guards Tracy had seen today, she wasn’t armed. What was she actually supposed to do if there was violence here? Or maybe pegasus ponies didn’t need weapons.
“We found them crossing the orchards outside Ponyville. It’s possible they stole a few pears, but we don’t know that.”
He stepped back from the door, wings spreading in surprise. “Wait, so fast?”
She nodded, a little pride visible even through her helmet. “Her Majesty’s Cloudguard has the best record for finding lost ponies anywhere in Equestria. I flew ahead to tell the princess we’d found what she was looking for. They should be back in Ponyville in time for the evening express, so just a few hours from now.”
Twilight’s horn glowed again, and the heavy door squeaked open. Inside was what he could only describe as a comfortable hotel room? Or… those were locks on the doors, and heavy bars on the windows. So maybe not.
The builders had done their best to mitigate the dinginess of plain stone with lots of soft carpet and warm light, and there were several separate bedrooms.
Twilight was the first to step inside, and he had no choice but to follow. “It seems at least one part of your story was true, Tracy. They didn’t hurt anypony… but Discord is still going to make his case. If these are really your friends, you may want to wait for them. My friends and I are going to visit Celestia, and hopefully figure out what Discord is doing with you. I read that lease you signed on the ride up here…”
Twilight shook her head, expression parental. “What were you thinking to make you sign something like that?”
He shook his head. “I should’ve read the fine print, Princess. But I was desperate enough that I probably would’ve signed it anyway.”
The Alicorn turned to go. “This room won’t be locked until they arrive—technically they’re criminals, until the princess hears their case. If you want to leave, just let the Royal Guard lead you out. You don’t want to get lost down here, trust me.”
She vanished out the doorway, the colorful line of ponies following behind her. Only Roseluck remained, slipping through the door.
Rose slowed, pawing at the carpet. “Well this is… fancy. I wonder if they used to keep Unicornia nobles in here, back when ponies ransomed each other and battled and stuff.”
He shrugged, slumping into the sofa. There were no appliances here, nothing to distract him while they waited. But at least the princess was true to her word: the door didn’t slam closed, locking them down here. “You’re staying?”
She shrugged, taking a chair opposite him. “If I’m not on their side, then I’m on Discord’s. That just doesn’t feel right. But I would like an apology for breaking in like that. And… for somepony to fix the door.”
“I’m sure they’ll have a very good reason for this insanity as soon as they get here,” he said, without a hint of confidence in his voice. “I’ll do the door myself as soon as this is over. Hopefully I don’t have to replace the whole thing. If it’s a Monsters, Inc. thing and the door is magic, I’m screwed.”
“Monsters… what?”
“Nevermind.” Tracy folded his forelegs over his chest, staring down at nothing in particular. “I’m supposed to be coming up with some kinda defense, right? Can you tell me anything about the princess? She’s like Twilight?”
“Princess Celestia?” Roseluck laughed, her voice only slightly strained. “Not… really. She banished her sister to the moon for a thousand years once. While Equestria was still divided into bickering tribes, she helped unify us under one flag. She’s ruled before the castle was built—before any of us were born. She’ll probably still be ruling long after we’re dead.”
“She didn’t seem unreasonable when we met her,” he countered. “Maybe a little too dark and mysterious, but nice. I’ve met plenty of politicians who could’ve learned from her.”
“That was Luna,” Roseluck said, exasperated. “She’s newer. This whole thing involves other worlds, Discord, maybe invaders… Princess Celestia usually deals with the big stuff. Raising the sun every morning is only the start of the Solar Court. I wonder how long we’ll have to wait.”
Tracy picked her brain for as many details as he could while they waited. Most of it sounded like mythology, but that was probably just as important here. The myth of the royal family would be just as real to them as the truth.
Unfortunately not much of it seemed terribly useful. The solar princess was harsh enough to turn her foes to stone one minute, but let a yellow press print rumors of her overindulging in sweets the next. She held strict obedience to ancient traditions, then left the yearly rituals in the hooves of complete novices, who inevitably wrecked everything.
She was powerful enough that she lifted the sun in the sky every morning, yet weak enough that she’d been defeated by multiple enemies in the past. Including Discord, who was also now the landlord of a duplex in San Jose?
“I’m never going to make any sense of this,” he declared, head slumping into his lap. “Is this like… real real, or just real?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Roseluck called from the kitchen. Apparently it was fully stocked for their arrival, icebox and all. While he’d been asking questions and fidgeting in place fast enough that he’d begun to work the cushions off the sofa, she’d taken every green thing out of the fridge and started arranging it. Slices of fruit, stalks of asparagus, and florets of broccoli were all coming together in front of her in something vaguely approaching a pony face. “It’s real, yeah. Lots of this stuff happened during my lifetime.”
“Well yeah, but—”
Several sets of hooves sounded in the hall outside, scraping and stumbling as they walked. It had taken weeks of practice before Tracy could walk with confidence. His friends had only been here a day.
“We have the prisoners!” called a royal guard. “If you two stay in there, you’ll be locked in.”
“We know,” Tracy yelled back. “Rose, are you staying?”
She nodded. “I’m not finished with lunch yet.”