A popularity poll in a magazine sparks a contest of virtues between Equestria's four princesses. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight all come together to compete and determine who is truly deserving of the title "best princess."

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
Illustrious Q, El Oso

Written for the Mid-Summer Follow Appreciation Lottery Winner - Black Hoof

Sam was leading a peaceful and quiet life ever since he emerged in Equestria. Making his home in Ponyville, he even managed to find himself a marefriend in Fluttershy. But then Celestia comes up with the Villian Reformation Programme that puts him in quite the predicament. Three former villainesses are now living with him and Fluttershy, as the alternative for two of them was spending an eternity in Tartarus. Should be fine, right?

Just a note, R63 Sombra by the name of Umbra. Because why the hell not...
Had to get this one started before I do anything else.
It's a crossover with another property which I will not name until it's the proper time.
I know the cover art is a very sloppy paste job but it'll do for now.

Featured on October 26th! It's true I saw it!
A huge thank you to my readers!
Aaaaand it's gone...

While Jim Pickens was serving terrible food with Grade F ingredients to the customers of his restaurant, he suddenly gets zapped by an unknown force and sent to a whole new world. This world, in particular, inhabits several creatures which look like horses. When Jim discovers these horses (who prefer to be called "ponies" even though Jim doesn't know the difference) understand English and are actually a society of their own in the land of Equestria, he decides to take it upon himself to integrate into their society, while trying to find ways to kill them. Don't worry though, that's completely normal behavior for him. It's not going to be a big problem for the ponies... probably.

Jim Pickens is a character in Call Me Kevin's Sims 4 gameplay series. The playlist can be found here. It's recomended that you watch some of the series before you read this, but I don't really care what you do.

It takes place before Jim moves to StrangeVille and I don't know where in the My Little Pony series this takes place in.

I guess this takes place in the earlier seasons, but I never watched the show. Equestria Girls never happened and is considered just a dream that Twilight had.

EDIT: This is the point of no return. Reddit user ShanePd00 on r/CallMeKevin found this fanfiction. I'm impressed he found it within 24 hours, let alone 2. He earned that silver award. I applaud you, good sir. Here's the reddit post.

EDIT #2: I was told that this is the first crossover fanfiction with the Sims 4. I should've realized that when I started writing a few months ago, but I didn't for some dumb reason.

EDIT #3: This used to have 9 chapters, but I took a break from this meme fanfiction and then reread it only to dislike the way the story was going. It didn't have that "Kevin" style of comedy. I redid part of chapter 4 and am continuing the story in a different direction from what it originally was. Don't ask, because the new direction is way better and ignorance of the original direction is bliss.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

I've had my fair share of critics in my line of work. It's understandable—someone with the power to invoke fear in those he touches? Yeah, that's someone I want to watch over me and my children.

But that's what I am now; a Metahuman Agent, using this and the other 'perks' of my unique condition to help my team in taking down the baddie of the day. Of course, it was while taking down the baddie of the day that I fell victim to his malfunctioning machine; a Rift that tossed me, randomly, to a head-scratchingly insane world of magical, talking ponies...

All I can do now is wait, pray I can get home, and try to show them I'm not the monster I appear to be.

(Dread's homeworld is based somewhat on the Little Victory comics by jollyjack; an Earth where metahumans are enlisted and trained by the government to defend the populace from threats, big and small.)

This story is a sequel to The Wizard and the Lonely Princess

Book Two of the Lonelyverse

Having returned to the Dursleys after a highly eventful first year at Hogwarts, Harry and the alicorns had been looking forward to unwinding. As it turned out, all their hopes were for nought. Between summer shenanigans, a crazy house elf, and learning Potter family history, they've got a full summer ahead of themselves. And when they get back to Hogwarts, they'll have to deal with giant snakes, idiotic teachers, and a gathering darkness. With things going off the rails, they've got a long year ahead of them.

And if they survive that, they still got to deal with the strange power surges and dreams that both Luna and Nim have been having since soon after the Summer Solstice...

Other stories in the Lonelyverse:
The Wizard and the Lonely Princess
Hooves, Plush, and Magic: The Untold Tales
The Wizard and the Lonely Princess: Hallowe'en Special
A Nightmare Christmas

Harry Potter was a lonely boy who one day wished for a friend. Luna, trapped on the moon, wished for the same. And so their wishes are granted. How will the two deal with each other? And what about Nightmare Moon? Needless to say, their lives are going to change in both expected and unexpected ways...

Other stories in the Lonelyverse:
Hooves, Plush, and Magic: The Untold Tales
The Wizard and the Lonely Princess: Hallowe'en Special
A Nightmare Christmas

Chapters 9-11 now re-written.

As the elements were unleashed, the Nightmare knew it was over. But it would not let it's fun end. No, it would not be left behind. It would find another world to bring to ruin. As for the poor sap that was left in It's place? He was going to get blasted, what did it matter what he ended up getting from It?

Cover Image by NetherWalker

Realized there was no link, so I'm adding two, one here and one in the chapter. After the events of Don't Underestimate the Power of a Bored Mare , the juicy bits that I cant put in a T fic: Defining Love

Edit: I swear, half of you are uncultured heathens. The thing in the image with the Nightmare's hair is a substitute doll

Further wanderings through the Leroverse. This fic continues on after the Xenophilia main story so you'll need to read that to be able to understand anything that's going on here. This fic may not be clop (so no explicit man-on-tiny-horse action to be found here) but the original is so you have been warned.

Most importantly, a huge shower of gratitude goes to AnonAuthor and AnonponyDASHIE for granting me permission to play around in their pool. Hopefully they won't need too much extra chlorine once I'm done. I'd also like to thank all my co-authors and guest authors. You're fantastic, every one of you.