When We're Living Our Dream - by special guest author SpinelStride
Chapter published 9th Feb 2014
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"Erm... Verily, we knowest not what mishap hast befallen yon village," Princess Luna said, staring at the shattered pieces of Ponyville. The top of Town Hall snapped and fell off, crashing to the ground.
"I dunno, Miss Princess," the mare with the mismatched eyes said. "I never know either."
"Oh, hello!" Luna said brightly. "It is Miss Hooves now, is it not? You have borne us messages afore, and the tale of your maternal spirit amidst the Blank Plague is yet a minor legend."
Derpy smiled at the jet black alicorn. "Nothing takes me away from my Dinky, Miss Princess. Nothing ever."
Princess Celestia smiled. "Then I take it your beloved foal is safe?"
Derpy nodded. "Oh, yeah, Princess Celestia! As soon as the sirens went off, all the foals went right to the schoolhouse like they've been taught. It's super-reinforced, see?" She pointed a hoof. Sure enough, the little schoolhouse was standing intact and unscarred, though certainly smoke-smudged. And several trees had fallen across the doorway.
"Wouldst thou care to hazard a guess as to the cause of this calamity, good Miss Hooves?" Luna asked, gazing around. The ponies of Ponyville were in remarkably high spirits, considering the widespread destruction of their hometown.
"Probably something we get to use the Twilight Sparkle Fund for, Miss Princess!" Derpy said happily. "Everything's always so shiny and new after these things."
Celestia facehoofed. "Twilight, there are times when I'm dearly tempted to make you face the Royal Accountants yourself to explain these things," she muttered.
"Oh! Look! Here comes Sweetie! And Lero! They must have something in mind!" Derpy exclaimed. "Come on, Princesses, let's go say hi!"
Luna shook her head sharply, and recalled her efforts at modern language. "Sister, are all the ponies beyond Canterlot so... familiar?"
"Ponyville is a very special place, Luna," Celestia said, her good humor returning as promptly as it always did. "And, for that matter, Miss Hooves is a very special mare. Let's see what's going on."
A thoroughly smoke-smudged Twilight Sparkle was directing two earth ponies in setting up a pair of oversized speakers, while Vinyl Scratch fussed over getting Sweetie's microphone hooked up to her sound systems. Lero and Sweetie waved to the two alicorns.
"Princess Celestia!" the lavender unicorn cried out happily, and abandoned her supervisory duties to come hug her mentor. She left a large sooty mark on Celestia's pristine fur, but the soot fell away as soon as the sun's light played across Celestia's coat. "You're just in time!"
"It's good as always to see you, Twilight, but what in Equestria is going on here?" Celestia asked. A number of ponies seemed to be hauling lumber into the town square - a surprisingly large amount of available lumber for such a small town, in fact.
"Oh, there was a little accident with some scientific apparatus," Twilight admitted. "I noticed how Pinkie never eats anything but sweets, and I thought I could use a blood sample to find a cure for diabetes, but when I put the sample in the analyzer well... kaboom!"
Luna and Celestia looked at each other. Then they nodded and looked back to Twilight.
"A noble goal, to be sure, Twilight, but haven't I told you about using proper protective measures before?" Celestia asked.
"I was using the blast chamber with a triple ward on it and extra rebar in the concrete," Twilight responded. "Honestly, I really thought it was overkill." She leaned in and added, "I know I should learn to just accept Pinkie being Pinkie, but sometimes, I just get curious. And I thought this would be safe!"
"And so Ponyville shall be rebuilt with funds from the Royal Treasury once again," Luna commented. "And its peas... citizens seem most pleased with this prospect."
"It's a good community-building exercise, and Lero and Sweetie say they've got some new music for us," Twilight said. "Actually, if you wouldn't mind, I think you might enjoy taking part?"
Celestia looked around. "This seems more a scene of devastation than one I ought to enjoy," she said dubiously.
"If the ponies of Ponyville are determined to make their town's devastation into a holiday, then we ought to aid them," Luna said firmly. "And it could perhaps even be fun."
Twilight levitated over a pair of scrolls, marked 'Contingency Script 7-E, Celestia' and 'Contingency Script 7-E, Luna.' Once the alicorns had begun to unroll them, she called out to the other ponies, "We're on seven-E, everypony! Places!"
Celestia looked up. "A parade, Twilight? Through the wreckage?"
Twilight nodded. "A parade," she confirmed. "Please?"
"Come, sister, let us trust our little ponies," Luna said, reading down through the scroll.
"Very well, Luna," Celestia agreed. "Then let us to our places."
"Yay!" Twilight said, and clapped her hooves.
"Good timing!" Vinyl called, the speakers magnifying her words enough to boom over Ponyville's remains. "Everypony ready?"
"YEAH!" came the cry from across town.
Lero and Sweetie took their spots. So did everypony else. The human and the singer-of-humans were positioned atop what looked like a cross between a parade float and a bulldozer, with the speakers mounted to it.
Celestia and Luna began to trot down the middle of what had been Main Street as the first burst of music came out.
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
Everything is cool when you're part of a team!
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
When we're living our dream!
To the amazement of the alicorns, despite the total lack of Harmony to the music, the ponies were staying in time; a trio of unicorns lifted the side wall of Sugarcube Corner back into place just in time for a passing pegasus with a rivet gun to seal it on, and then Pinkie Pie bounced by slapping Construction-Grade Frosting over the bolt heads to restore the building's confectionary charm. Lero and Sweetie were singing into their microphones, beaming at each other.
Everything is better when we stick together!
Side by side, you and I, gonna win forever, let's party forever!
We're the same, I'm like you, you're like me, we're all working in harmony!
Luna would scarcely have credited the sight; loads that by all rights should have demanded a half-score of unicorns were being completed by three, and pegasi were weaving through the air as nimbly as any warriors of old. But no feathers fell, no screams rent the air; indeed, they were beginning to join in the chorus. Celestia did too, and then Luna added her voice to the mix. Rainbow Dash flew by overhead, writing the words in her rainbow trail for all to see who were too busy to hold onto their song sheets.
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
Everything is cool when you're part of a team!
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
When we're living our dream!
It was two tired but exhilarated alicorns who flew back to Canterlot that evening.
"How is it that I can raise the entire sun every morning, but a day spent with Twilight Sparkle and her friends can leave me feeling more worn-out but more satisfied than ever?" Celestia asked her sister fondly.
"We are ponies, are we not?" Luna said cheerfully. "It is our nature to join the herd. It has been too long we spent apart, true?"
"Very true, Luna," Celestia agreed. "Perhaps I ought to write a friendship report of my own."
"That sounds a wondrous idea, my sister," Luna said. "Let us write it together."
Celestia smiled into the wind. "Yes. Let's do that."
They have a dedicated Twilight Sparkle fund? Does she blow things up that often?
Is Destruction by Princess Sparkle Butt a valid insurance claim in Ponyville?
All my yes.
A noble cause Twilight, but you forgot Pinkie and science can't mix.
3921258
I'm pretty sure they treat it as an Act of God(dess).
I'm betting the cure for almost everything is within Pinkies Blood, question is how do you work with the most unstable and reactive substance in Equestria?
A Twilight Sparkle insurance fund, what new tax did the princesses' have to introduce to keep up with the claims?
oh god I seriously need to see the Lego movie
And yeah, this twilight seems way more destructive than normal.
3921258
She has the potential. She set off a riot by accident in Lesson Zero. She lit herself on fire in sheer frustration trying to understand Pinkie Pie. She mindwarped the entire town in Magical Mystery Cure. She ripped apart a water tank and molested a barn full of cows in Boast Busters, and then was Trixie's target in a return bout. Her horn is capable of machine-gun fire. She wants to learn new spells, and she's been known to figure them out by casting them. And Xenoverse Twilight has demonstrated interest in trying to replicate human technologies via magical means, plus a lot more scientific inquiry than perhaps canon Twilight has ever shown, since she has Lero there for an impetus. So... yes, Twilight has a lot of destructive potential to her, so Celestia planned ahead and provided Twilight-related reconstruction funds to the poor innocent town she foisted her off on.
3921608 any experiments with Pinkie Pie's blood would have to be non-Euclidean in form.
A bar of chocolate contains more chemical energy than a stick of dynamite. Logically, this means that Pinkie Pie's blood has more explosive power per milliliter than nitroglycerin. That, or she's just allergic to science. Or possibly vice versa.
Actually, I'm going to say definitely vice versa. Science has a Pinkie Pie allergy, which manifests as unlikely and catastrophic events.
3922389
I want to object and note that that term applies to geometry, not experimental design. On the other hand, Pinkie Pie.
AWESOME!
3923007 I think....I think you're onto something there. Pinky Pie isn't allergic to science, science is allergic to Pinky Pie!
I'd go so far as to say that science has an anaphylactic reaction that would make an atomic detonation look like a wet firecracker whenever it gets too close to Pinky Pie.
And like any good partially insane scientist, Twilight just can't seem to stop poking her with the science stick to see what happens.
Having just seen The Lego Movie on Saturday, I can say that this had me laughing my ass off.
img687.imageshack.us/img687/8398/todayonmythbustersponie.jpg
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/8398/todayonmythbustersponie.jpg
Everything was awesome!
God damn that was such a great movie.
3922389 You think Pinkie Pie has blood? I'm sure that pure, liquid cartoon zaniness runs through her veins.
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
Everything is cool when you're part of a team!
will we see the letter?
When the song started...... Palm meet face........